FIC: The Center Of the Circle

["Pat Kelly"]

Title: The Center Of the Circle
Author: Pat
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Wish I did, but I don't. No money am I making.
Summary: Spoilers for "Wild at Heart". Post aforementioned ep. Just read.
It's short.

THE CENTER OF THE CIRCLE

Willow, finally getting the strength to leave Oz's place, had made her way
slowly back to the campus. She was sitting on her bed, looking out the
window. She felt like the sun was mocking her.

'I'm bright and happy, and you can't be.'

Lousy. Broken. Destroyed. That's how she felt. Oz had just left her. Just
left.
And she had almost used the black arts to curse him. That was really
responsible. She was so close. Sure she didn't go through with it, but how
was she supposed to show Buffy and Giles that she was ready to handle the
bigger magick if she turned to that stuff every time she had a problem? She
was supposed to use her powers for good.

Buffy. Where was she anyway? She needed someone. Needed her to reassure
her. She wouldn't have been surprised if Buffy had thrown all her 'get a
boyfriend' talks back in her face, but Buffy wouldn't do that. Since Willow
had a boyfriend she thought that meant she could give advice, because she
knew all the answers. Now she didn't have any.

Where was she?

Then, the door opened, and Buffy walked in carrying a round box. She walked
over to the bed, and sat it down. Willow turned around and looked at her.

"I know you said you didn't want any chocolates or anything, but I needed
some.and I thought you could use some anyway.and.do you.I mean.do you need
anything?"

"Sit. Please?"

"Sure."

Buffy sat next to Willow, and waited.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you.mean it when you said.you loved me?"

"Course I did."

"Really? Cause Oz said he did too, and then he left me."

As much as she didn't want to cry again, she couldn't help it. Buffy wrapped
her arms around her friend's small frame, and held her.

"I'm sorry, Will. God.you know he loves you."

"He left.even you left me."

Buffy turned Willow so she was facing her, and looked her in the eyes.

"But I came back. I'm never leaving again. And so will he."

"And what if he does? It won't be like before. I can't just say, 'Hey you
slept with someone and didn't tell me or trust me enough, but it really
doesn't matter.' I can't do that Buffy. I don't know if I can rebuild 'us'
again."

"You rebuilt 'us'. It took time, but we did it."

"We're different."

"Oz didn't break up with you."

"Yes he did. As soon as he walked out the door."

"I felt the same way." Buffy suppressed a laugh. "I'm not good at the
supportive thing. I'm supposed to make you feel better, and I'm not."

"Yes you are. Better than you think." Willow opened the box, and saw the
assorted chocolates inside. She picked up one and popped it in her mouth.
"We're really something."

"You mean the two women scorned thing? We sure are. You with Oz." Buffy
picked up a piece.

"You with Angel." They both erased Parker from their minds.

"Although they both had good reasons for leaving."

"They think we couldn't handle their beasty sides? They never even gave us a
choice."

"I still think about that, you know. It hurts, but I think, I hope he's
making a difference in LA. Oz needs to figure things out. Like I did."

"I know.but I just wished we could have figured it out."

"Together? Yeah, me too. But how much would, do we, really understand what
they're going through?"

They were quiet for awhile, eating the chocolate.

"This is the first time we've both.been in the same situation."

"It is, isn't it? You know what I think? I think we're going in a circle."
Willow looked questioningly at her. "Hang on, I'll make sense in a sec. We
started off in the center, together, and then Angel came along.

"I went to the outside of the circle with him, and you were in the center.
Then Oz came along, and we were both on opposite sides. Then Angel went
evil, and I was in the center. Alone. For a long time.

"Then Scott came along, and I was on the outside, and you still had Oz.
Scott fell through, and I was in the center again. You had your little
indiscretion," Willow blushed at the memory, "and we were both in the center
for a little while."

All the while, they had still been eating the chocolate.

"Then Angel and I became couple-ly again, and you and Oz went back."

"Outside again?"

"Right. Then Angel.left.and I've been in the center ever since."

"What about..." Buffy just looked at her. "Right. Doesn't count. That was
deep, Buffy."

"Really? Thanks. Hey, maybe I'm channeling some old poet or philosopher
guy."

"Maybe. So we're both in the center now. Together. For probably a long time.
So."

"Now what?" Willow nodded, and Buffy looked down at the box. "Look at that.
Two pieces left."

In the box, two pieces that were in the center, were the only ones they
hadn't eaten. Willow looked, and then she kissed her friend. Buffy was a
little surprised at first, but then responded. After a few seconds, they
pulled apart.

"Was that.I mean.okay?"

"I told you I loved you, didn't I?"

Willow smiled. "I -"

"I know."

They kissed again, and then two pieces remained uneaten. Maybe the center
wasn't so bad.


"When I held that gun, I felt an incredible surge of power. Like God must
feel when he's holding a gun.." (Homer J. Simpson)

"You've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and
now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just
realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I
think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to.
It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."

"I kind of love you."
(Willow Rosenberg, Buffy Summers, BTVS)

"Don't.."
"What? Don't love you? I didn't know I got a choice in that."
(Angel, Buffy Summers, BTVS)
----- Original Message -----
From: <buffyloveswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <bandits@xxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, November 15, 1999 2:07 PM
Subject: [buffyloveswillow] Welcome to buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx


> Oi,
>
> Welcome to the list. Please take a moment to
> review this message.I am a robot.Just kidding...
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this list, go to the ONElist website, at
> www.onelist.com, and select the My ONElist link
> from the menu bar
> on the left. This menu will also let you change your subscription
> between digest and normal mode.
>
> Okay, now on to the list itself.This list is
> dedicated to the most perfect couple to ever
> appear on a tv show, Willow and Buffy(hey, i can
> dream).
>
> I created this place because i feel like there
> are a few people that, like me, think they would
> make great couple.So, this is a place where we'll
> all be able to exchange ideas, post fics, talk
> about that cute moments that are shown in the
> episodes, tell others why you think they would be
> good together and things like that.
>
>
> It's kind of a hang out place for Buffy and
> Willow fans.
>
> Now, a few things i have to get out of the way
> before i make a list FAQ: i'll adopt a no
> flamming policy.People have different opinion,
> but we don't have to be rude in order to express
> them.Also, put spoiler spaceor a note in the
> disclaimer if the discussion or fic is about a
> new episode, hopefully there will be people
> overseas and some of them don't like to be
> spoiled(these patient people, i tell you, they're
> crazy).Also, all W/B fics will be allowed, any
> rating, as long as it is W/B.I mean, you can
> write a fic wher Willow derats Amy and spends
> time/dates with her, buffy gets jelous and all
> and realizes that she's in love in all.What i
> mean is, it has to have them at some point.Of
> course, i didn't have to talk about the Amy
> thing, it was just an idea that has been in my
> mind and i wanted to see what you can make of it
> : )
>
>
> Well, that was it.
>
> If i remember more i'll let you know.
>
> Bye for now.
>
> Welcome