From: "jbstories _" <jbstories@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
To: buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [buffyloveswillow] FIC: Home, Sweet Home, Part 2
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 1999 00:40:56 GMT
Home, Sweet Home
----------------------------------------------------------------------
By Janine (jbstories@xxxxxxxxxxx)
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, they belong to Joss Whedon
and Mutant Enemy. I will not be making any money etc, yadda, yadda.
Rating: PG-13
Synopsis: This is a continuation to my story "The chemicals between us".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2
-----------
Once Willow regained consciousness Buffy picked her up and carried her back
to their room, careful not to further jostle her. Once they had gotten
back
to the room, Buffy placed Willow down on the bed and tucked her in. The
Slayer then spent the next half and hour fussing around offering to get
Willow everything from a bottle of water to a foot massage.
"Buffy," Willow said finally. Buffy turned around and was at Willow's side
almost before Willow had finished saying her name.
"Are you okay?" Buffy asked scanning Willow's body with her eyes. "Do you
want some Aspirin?" Buffy asked. "Something to eat. I could go get you
something to eat."
"I'm okay Buffy," Willow said seriously. Sure, her neck hurt a bit, but
she
wasn't on her death bed.
"You died," Buffy said her voice raising. "I don't think that's okay. In
fact I would say that's the exact opposite of okay. If okay was place, you
wouldn't even have been able to see it from where you were," Buffy said.
"Alright," Willow said watching Buffy closely. "Perhaps, okay isn't the
right word for it, but I'll be fine," she continued. "Sit down Buffy,"
Willow said reaching out to her, "you look worse than I do." Buffy looked
at Willow with a raised eyebrow. "Well you do," Willow said. "You look
like you just lost your best friend."
"I did," Buffy said looking down at Willow. "I thought…you wouldn't…no
matter what I tried I couldn't get you breathe," Buffy said stumbling over
her words. Tears were starting to form in her eyes again. "When I saw you
lying there, I felt…I felt like I was going to die too."
"I'm sorry," Willow said reaching one of her hands up so that she could
rest
it on Buffy's arm.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Buffy said looking down at her.
"I'm the one who didn't do anything. Who wasn't there, when the only
person
who's stood by me unconditionally needed me. YOU have nothing to apologize
for Willow, I'm the one who should be apologizing," Buffy continued. "More
than that I should be kneeling at your feet begging for forgiveness."
"You were doing your job Buffy, you're the Slayer, you're suppose to
concentrate on killing the vampires, not on babysitting me. What happened
wasn't your fault, I had time, I could have…" Willow trailed off.
"Could have what?" Buffy asked looking at her intently.
"I had time to stake him," Willow said softly.
"Why didn't you?" Buffy asked. She wasn't angry, just confused.
"Because I was staking the ones attacking you," Willow responded.
Buffy stared at her for a moment silently, then stood up and walked away
from the bed. She paced for a moment, then returned to the bed looking at
Willow intently.
"I understand what you were doing Will, I do, I really do," Buffy said
calmly. "But, don't ever, EVER, do that again," Buffy said her voice
raising slightly.
Willow starred at her for a second, then felt her ire start to rise.
"Why?" Willow asked angrily. "You're the only one who gets to do good?
Who
gets to risk their life to save others? I didn't stay in Sunnydale to do
paperwork for you, I stayed to help you, help you fight, help you survive,"
Willow continued.
"Help me die too, Will? Huh?" Buffy shot back. "Because that's what
'doing
good' is going to do to me eventually," Buffy said standing up. "I'm going
to be ripped apart by some demon, or have all of my blood sucked out of my
body," she continued. "I risk my life because I have too, the whole reason
I'm alive is to fight and die for other people. I'm a martyr Will, and
hate
it. Because you know what you have to do to be a martyr….huh?…You have to
die!
"I have to die, Will, I have to die for them. You don't. You don't!"
Buffy said sitting back down beside Willow. "I love you, and I don't want
anything to happen to you."
"I love you too, Buffy," Willow said. "I don't want anything to happen to
either," she continued. "Do you think I could just by and watch you die
anymore than you could stand by and watch me die? Do you? ….I know you
don't. It doesn't work that way Buffy, I didn't have a choice tonight
anymore than you did."
"I don't think that I could stand it if anything happened to you because of
me," Buffy said.
"I know I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you, and I wasn't there
to help, to try and save you," Willow told her.
Buffy stared at Willow for a moment, then got up and walked over to her
bed,
flopping down on it.
"Will?" Buffy asked after a moment of lying in silence.
"Yeah," Willow responded staring at her ceiling.
"I remember," Buffy said softly.
"Remember what?" Willow asked quizzically. She wasn't following. Buffy
did
this all the time, she would just change subjects at random leaving
everyone
else totally lost. Willow herself didn't have the longest attention span
in
the world, but hers was practically immortal compared to Buffy's.
"That night that I drunk that bad beer," Buffy explained closing her eyes.
"I remember everything that happened."
"You do?" Willow asked after remaining silent for a moment. "Everything?"
"Everything," Buffy confirmed.
"For how long?" Willow asked. She wasn't sure how to feel about this, even
more she wasn't sure why Buffy decided to bring it up then.
"Since that morning," Buffy said softly preparing for the inevitable. She
was really going to have to start learning how to lie better, or she was
going to have to start telling the truth from the beginning, because Willow
could give guilt trips that would make her Jewish mother proud.
"What?" Willow asked.
Buffy remained silent.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Willow asked. "I asked you, I asked if you
remembered," she continued softly.
"Because," Buffy said still trying to organize her thoughts. "Because,"
she
said again.
"That's not an answer Buffy, that's a stutter," Willow responded.
"It all changed then," Buffy responded softly.
"Nothing had to, has to, change unless we want it to," Willow said trying
to
keep her answer as neutral as possible. She still wasn't sure where Buffy
was going with all of this, and the 'change' talk unsettled her because
change was either good or bad, and when there was a chance of fifty per
cent
badness she usually wasn't a fan of the situation.
"I want it to," Buffy responded quickly. It most situations she had
courage
in leaps and bounds, and would sometimes stand around and chat with her
enemies before killing them, but this was not one of those times. She had
to get it out then, or wouldn't get out for a long time. "And I didn't
realize how much, until for a moment, just one moment I was able to hold
you
in my arms. And feel your lips against mine," Buffy continued slower now,
her voice cracking. "I…I lied before, when I told you that I love you."
"What do you mean?" Willow asked in a tone identical to Buffy's.
"I don't just love you Will. I'm IN love with you. Meeting you for lunch,
coming back here to talk to you about what happened during the day…just
being in your presence, are the highlights of my day. I live for them.
And
I didn't realize, until this night…until I thought I lost you, that I live
for you."
Buffy didn't hear Willow get up so much as she felt her presence get
closer.
The hacker didn't say anything, she merely walked over to Buffy's bed,
and
sat down on the edge of it.
"I've been thinking about that night a lot," Willow said once she was
seated. "I've been thinking about you, and me and…us, I guess, a lot too,"
Willow continued. "You know I love you, don't you?" Willow asked placing
her hand on Buffy's thigh.
Buffy remained silent for a moment, then she sighed deeply, a morose smile
working it's way across her face. Willow was trying to let her down gently
she realized. Knowing Willow she probably even felt bad that she didn't
feel the same way. Buffy wouldn't have that, she put a stop to it here and
know. If anything at least Willow's reaction had assured her that they'd
still remain friends.
"You don't have to do this Will," Buffy said quietly. "I know you love me.
I didn't tell you what I told you because I expected anything in return, or
even because I expected you to return my feelings. I just wanted you to
understand."
"I do understand," Willow said tenderly. "More importantly, I know how
you're feeling because I feel the same the way. I think maybe it took me
longer to realize…okay it DID take me longer to realize exactly what I was
feeling, but once I figured it out…" Willow trailed off not knowing exactly
how to express what she was feeling. "That was it, completely it…it was
all
filled up."
Buffy sat up on the bed so that she could see Willow's face.
"Do you mean that?" Buffy asked. "Do you really mean that?"
"With every fiber of my being, and then some," Willow responded smiling.
"Do you know what I've been dreaming about doing for almost a month now?"
Buffy asked.
"I can guess," Willow responded with a mischievous little smile on her
face.
"Can I kiss you?" Buffy asked. There was such vulnerability in her voice
that Willow thought her heart was going to break.
"Hell yes," Willow responded. Buffy smiled, then slowly leaned in bringing
their lips together. The kiss started out soft, slow, as they both got
used
to the idea that they were really kissing. Not with the aid of any drugs
or
outside influences, but completely of their own free will. But soon, the
kiss turned increasingly passionate as months, nay, years of repressed want
consumed them both.
Buffy's mouth was insistent, demanding, soft moans melting into Willow as
Buffy's hands held her closely, pressing them together firmly. From their
knees upward Willow was pressed tightly against Buffy's body, as they
devoured each other, kissing deeply, giving and receiving, holding tight
and
letting go. Their breathing quickened as they sought to devour one another
utterly, no thoughts remaining except for the luscious excitement sweeping
them up and pulling them together. Buffy releasing sweet sounds from deep
in her throat, her tongue sliding over her lips softly exploring,
withdrawing, kneading, consuming. Their mouths seeking each other out
again
and again, in short hungry kisses, as if they couldn't bear to let it end.
For several elated seconds, they sat motionless, eyes closed as they
savored
the sweetness of it all. It was so incredibly good, so ardent and new, and
wonderful. Finally, they pulled away from each other struggling for
breath,
still holding each other close not wanting to break the connection between
them.
"Your ears are red," Willow said gently touching one of Buffy's ears.
"Yeah, well…it's cold in here," Buffy said looking down at the blanket.
Stupid ears, Buffy thought.
"No it's not," Willow said a smile starting to work it's way across her
face.
"I know," Buffy said smiling a bit, still looking down at the blanket.
"What were you thinking about that night two days ago?" Willow asked
drawing
her body closer to Buffy's.
"What night?" Buffy asked. Willow just stared at her. "Okay, okay. I was
thinking about something along the lines of what we just did."
"Was it as good as you thought it would be?" Willow inquired softly.
"Better," Buffy said looking Willow straight in the eyes. "Much,
much…much,
better."
"How much better?" Willow asked smiling.
"Much, much, much," Buffy responded. "Will?"
"Uh huh," Willow responded.
"Can I kiss you again?" Buffy asked. "I really, really, liked that part."
"On one condition," Willow said her eyes glowing happily.
"What's that?" Buffy asked.
"Willow stay here," Willow responded in her cave-girl voice.
Buffy laughed.
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Buffy said.
They sat staring into one another's eyes for a few long moments, both
caught
up in an impossible yearning, aware of one another's desire. Willow's eyes
lowered to take in Buffy's slightly parted lips, as well as the lovely line
of her throat. Finally, Buffy raised her hand to Willow's cheek and
stroked
it slowly with the backs of her fingers. Willow cupped Buffy's face
acutely
aware of the warm breath on her hand as Buffy moved against her gently.
Shifting closer Willow raised her head feeling Buffy's warm breath on her
lips, as they migrated towards each other.
"Willow," Buffy breathed pulling away. "I…"
"I know," Willow said pushing on Buffy's shoulders slightly to get the
Slayer to lay down. "And we will."
"Now?" Buffy asked eagerly. She sounded like a three year who was being
denied ice-cream.
"Shouldn't we talk about this," Willow said running her hand up and down
Buffy's arm. "Or something."
"Uh, yeah talk, I guess that could be…no, no I don't think so," Buffy
responded reaching up and bringing Willow lips back down to hers.
"So the talking's not really a necessity?" Willow asked dipping her head
down to kiss along Buffy's jaw line.
"Do you want the talking to be a necessity?" Buffy asked seriously.
"No, not really," Willow said. "I've kind of got some more pressing
issues.
The talking suggestion just seemed like the mature thing to do."
"You didn't just say the M-word did you?" Buffy asked in mock horror. "No
more field trips to Fort Giles for you."
"I don't know how I'll ever manage to move on," Willow muttered. "Oh,
wait…idea," Willow said bringing her lips back to Buffy's.
"I have to say Will, you've definitely got you idea getting skills back.
After the whole cutting off her ear and dumping her own body thing I was
starting to worry, but my faith is now completely renewed," Buffy responded
slipping her hands under Willow shirt and running her hands along the skin
she found underneath.
"Everyone has their off days," Willow responded.
"Now?" Buffy asked again in the same tone she had earlier.
"Sounds good to me," Willow responded with a smile.
===========================================================
End of Part 2
(to be continued)
Janine
------------------------------------------------------------------------
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