From: Cassandra <goodms01@xxxxxxx>
This is my first attempt at fanfic... be gentle. =]
Disclaimer: This story, "Lupine Dreaming," is written on
buffyloveswillow's weekly theme of dreams. In addition,
this story is written directly in answer to Ivy Gort's
challenge to the buffyloveswillow list, even though it will
end up on both buffyloveswillow and buffywantswillow (I'm
anticipating at least one steamy sex scene). Thus it will,
before it is finished, contain these 5 elements:
1) Willow saves Buffy.
2) Willow tells how she and Oz are OVER.
3) Buffy reminisces about her one night in Angel's arms.
4) The number three must be somewhere.
5) Giles makes a phone call regarding his anxiety over one
of the Slayerettes.
And now for the legal stuff: Buffy, Willow, Giles, et al.
are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I am using them
for entertainment purposes only and am not gonna make any
money out of them. However, the plot as written is mine, so
please keep my name and email attached to it.
Couple: Buffy/ Willow. And if two girls in love offend you,
go away.
Feedback: hell yeah.
Archive: please ask.
Author: Casseigh (casseigh@xxxxxxxxxxxx)
Special thanks: scr3amer
Lupine Dreaming, Part 1 of, well, more than 1
Oz looked up. It was still dark. /What a strange dream.
oh well./ He curled up and went back to sleep.
Things howled outside his cabin - it felt like home. Most
of him missed Willow, but there was nothing he could do
about that. He had left because he had to, not because he
wanted to be without her. He would live. In the end, he
would love her all the way, or none. That's why he was
here. He didn't want to make Willow think about what he had
done with Veruca, what the two of them had.
He didn't want to think about it. She was no good for
him. He was glad she was dead. If only he hadn't killed
her himself.
Anyway, he was tired. It was the middle of the night. He
was going back to sleep.
* * *
He saw Willow, standing in his empty room. She had picked
up one of his shirts, was crying into it softly.
"Will, no." he thought. Said. Something.
She looked up, confused. "Oz?" she said, disbelievingly.
She peered around the room, but all she saw was the familiar
mess, which she knew was going to get cleaned out soon, and
she had better pack up for him. she started by looping an
extension cord around the back of a chair, to get it folded
nicely. There, she thought, that's - "OOOF!" She sat down
hard and cursed her clumsiness. /If only I was graceful,/
she thought. /Buffy's so beautiful when she fights. no.
Can't think about Buffy. Gotta pack Oz's stuff./ Willow
got a box from the closet and started tossing books and
random black boxes (that could, she surmised, create music)
into it.
After a few hours, she sat back and sighed. Most of Oz's
stuff was in boxes, and she had already had two good cry
breaks. She just wished she didn't feel so forced doing
them - her mind kept wanting to pull her back into the look
Buffy had given her when she said she was going over to Oz's
place, when she might have seen for a split second - /no,
Willow. Don't get your hopes up. She's just your best
friend. Nothing more./ Anyway, she was almost done now.
but how was she going to get these huge boxes back to her
room?
Willow looked at the clock. It was about time for Buffy to
be coming back from patrol. She plugged Oz's phone back in
and dialed her room's number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Buffy? It's."
"Wills, what's going on? Where are you?"
"Over at Oz's. I came to mope, no, I mean, I came to."
"What's up, Wills? You doing OK?"
"Yeah. I mean. no, I need your help. I mean - I packed up
all his stuff into boxes and I can't carry them across
campus all by myself. Can you come and help?"
"Of course, Wills. Be there in less than the time it takes
for a staked vampire to dust."
"OK, Buffy. Be. be careful."
Be careful? She was talking to the Slayer. Why had she
told Buffy to be careful?
* * *
Oz stirred, and wondered. Willow loving Buffy? They were
good friends, but. the thought was disturbing. /Then
again/, he thought, /I'm here to be disturbed./ He rolled
over and went back to sleep.
* * *
Buffy wandered slowly toward Oz's old house. That
conversation with Willow had been a little surreal. she
wondered what was happening in her best friend's pretty red
head.
/Damn it, Buffy. You can not think like that. Not only
are you still dealing with the fact that Angel is back, soul
and all, and won't be with you, you know that Willow is
very, very sad that Oz just walked out on her. You will not
be crushing on your best friend./
"Do whatever makes her happy," Oz thought, his mind heavy
and slow with his dream. "I want Wills happy."
Buffy looked around, confused. /That couldn't have been
Oz. I saw him leave in that van. Well, Willow saw him,
anyway. And that's almost as good. She'd never lie to us./
Buffy looked up, surprised to see Willow leaning out of
Oz's window. "It should be unlocked," called the witch,
"assuming that little trick worked."
Buffy tried the door. Though it electrocuted her a little,
it turned easily. She wandered through the messy house and
up the stairs to Oz's old room.
When she got there, she was shocked to see that every bit
and trace of Oz had been packed into two large boxes.
Willow sat in the desk chair by one of them, crying softly.
"Wills," Buffy mumbled, running over.
"No, no, I'll be -" Willow hiccuped from her sobs. "I'll
be fine. Promise." Really, Buffy, it's all better now.
Now that you're here.
Buffy hugged Willow and grabbed the heavier box. "Off we
go, Wills."
"Can you get to Mr. Pointy? I just have this feeling."
"Yeah, see, he's in my pocket. I just have to drop this
box, is all, and vampires turn to dust around me."
"OK." Willow hefted the other box from the ground and
began walking out of the room, her slight frame bent under
the weight of the carton and its contents. She turned
around. "You coming?"
"On your heels."
* * *
The two girls made it back to their room without
adventure. /That was a nice, quiet 3AM walk,/ thought
Buffy. /That's quite a change. Something must be up./
"Let me go first, Wills. I think something's wrong, and I
wanna, well, slay it."
Willow sniffled. "OK Buff. If you're sure. 'Cause, well,
I'm into fighting evil and all, but Mr. Pointy isn't
speaking to me lately."
Buffy laughed. "He's the silent type."
"Guess so."
Buffy put her box down as she got out her keys and a
stake. /I should keep Pointy Jr. on my keychain. Much more
useful than a whistle for Slayers./ She fumbled the room
door open and looked around warily, but didn't see a soul.
Then she heard a whimper from behind her. Buffy spun
around to see Willow in the clutches of some blonde bitch of
a vampire. How could a filthy bloodsucking demon even think
of touching her Willow?
/My Willow?/ Buffy wondered, as her body spun into action.
She swept the vampire and Willow to the ground, pulling
Willow toward her with her left hand while keeping Mr.
Pointy trained on the vile beast with her right.
"Don't" -kick - "ever" - punch - "touch" - kick - "my" -
twist - "Willow" - tear - "again!" Buffy yelled. As she
pinned the vampire against the wall, she added, "'Cause she
hates it when her computer gets dusty."
The vampire looked confused, until she saw Mr. Pointy
protruding from her chest. The idea of death, or at least
discontinued unlife, dawned on her just as she turned to
dust.
/Just the one?/ wondered Buffy, as she turned to look at
Willow. The redhead had gotten up and was brushing off.
"Ow. The floor is hard out here," commented Willow
grouchily. She stood up and brushed herself off, muttering
about vampire infestation.
/I love the way. no, no, she's my best friend. I can't
think of her that way,/ Buffy thought. /It's wrong. It's
immoral. It's the way she looks, even after she's almost.
aaagh! Bad brain! Stop thinking that!/
Willow wandered into the room and, after making sure the
fangy new friend they had made (well, made dust) hadn't
brought any other fangy types with her, turned on her
computer. As it was booting up, she turned to Buffy.
"It sure is odd," mused Willow, "knowing that there really
might be an actual, objective monster under the bed. It's
kinda like being a kid again, only a lot more uncertain and
scary, because mommy can't make it all better now."
"I never thought of it that way, but I guess you're right,"
said Buffy. "I mean, we have Giles, but he's not making it
all go away, he's just helping you and me and Xander and Oz.
shit. Sorry, Wills."
Buffy walked over to Willow's computer and hugged the
redhead. "I'm sorry. I'm a dumbass. Maybe one of these
days I'll learn to think before I speak, but."
"Buffy, it's OK. I promise. Oz. Oz and I were never.
never what everyone thought we were. I loved him, yeah,
but. but. well, but something knew, something. this was
gonna happen since the beginning, right at the start. And
so I'm doing a lot of crying, but, well, a lot of it I feel
kinda obliged to do, and. and I'm babbling, aren't I?"
"I guess you are, Will. But go on. I mean, I've been.
we've been really worried about you, and so it's kind of a
relief to hear that you aren't falling apart."
Buffy dragged the boxes she and Willow had carried from
Oz's room into the room and sat down on one after she shoved
it close to Willow's desk. The hacker was busily logging in
to the computer network and started downloading her email
before she turned back to Buffy.
"I'm not, I promise. My grades have really stayed the
same, and. and. while I was in Oz's room, getting his stuff,
I cried a little, but mostly because it seemed to be a
waste, falling in love with him. Not because I'm in a whole
lot of pain or anything. I mean, I wouldn't mind if he had
stayed here, but since he's gone."
* * *
Oz stirred at the first mention of his name, and awoke
fully at the second. /What's going on?/ he wondered. /I
was her first. how could she not love me? Why doesn't she
cry more?/
/Calm down/, Oz told himself. /You're not going to get
anywhere if you get all worked up over nothing. Just go
back to sleep and you'll wake up in the morning and
everything will be fine./
Oz got a cup of water and settled back into bed. A line
from a Fiona Apple song that Willow had played a lot ran
through his head. "I don't go to sleep to dream."
* * *
--
"Praise and glory! Wounded angel shufflin' round the room,
Eternity is down the hall and you sit there bendin' spoons."
-Johnny Cash, "In Your Mind"
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