FIC: Enough of Me (5/7)

[Kimber]

Title: Enough of Me (5/7)
Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
Disclaimer: I am a gnat in the world that is the Joss (watch out for
the fly swatter). All characters belong to him and Mutant Enemy. I'm
only borrowing them. The song belongs to Melissa Etheridge and can be
found on her new album, "Breakdown"
Summary: Sequel to 'Many Facets'. Someone wigs out from the encounter,
two of the most unlikely allies bond, and Christmas just doesn't seem
like Christmas. Will it all work out?
Spoilers: Everything up to and including "Hush" is fair game. All
episodes are subject to bend to my will. *Bwahhhahahahaha*
Distribution: Just drop me a line and it's yours to archive.
Author's Notes: Feedback = Food. Thoughts are enclosed in < > and
flashbacks are enclosed in <<< >>>
------------

"Nana…" Willow squeaked out. She got up from the floor and ran over to
her. Nana enveloped her in her arms. She was sobbing now. Nana just
stood there, holding her, smoothing her hair making grandmother comfort
noises. Giles stood a few steps behind, taking in the scene before
him. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose and
looked over at Buffy as if to say 'are you alright?' Buffy gave him a
smile, got up and walked over to him, leaving Nana and Willow alone.
They walked down the hallway to the kitchen. Automatically, Buffy put
some water on for tea.

"She's worse off than you thought, isn't she? Over Oz, I mean."

"She's broken, Giles. And I don't know how to fix her." Buffy let out
the breath she wasn't aware of holding.

"Buffy, I'm afraid it has to do with a lot more than Oz. The prophesy
Margaret was speaking of last night…well, Willow is an integral part of
it. It's her destiny, I'm afraid, and yours."

"Pesky prophesies…." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I'm afraid this is quite serious, Buffy."

"Sorry. So what are we facing this time?"

"Margaret and I went to visit an old friend of the council's. He's a
shapeshifting demon that's worked with the council since it's very early
days. As a watcher in training, I actually studied with him
extensively. This demon is the keeper of all the older, more fragile
texts. It's amazing really, some of them are actually written on cured
animal skin in a language that's long since forgotten, if I had the
time…."

"Giles…the prophesy?" Buffy could see his tangent was headed into the
realm of Watcher-Giles and his love of books.

"Yes, well….more specifically, he keeps watch over the older prophesies
that haven't come to pass yet….the prophesies that were predicted over a
millennia ago. This is, as it turns out, one of those prophesies. The
research Margaret did pinpointed the slayer to bring the balance, but
the prophesy was written sometime in the year 876 by a man named
Myrddin. He lived in what was then a Cymric borderland near the Solway
Firth in Europe. This is where the council first began to take shape.
Myrddin was, by all rights, the first Watcher." Giles could see Buffy's
eyes begin to glaze over.

"If you translate the name Myrddin from it's traditional Latin you get,
quite specifically, Merlin."

Buffy perked up. "Merlin? As in King Arthur, Knights of the Roundtable
and Excalibur Merlin?"

"Yes, quite right……You see, he predicted that Gwenevere would betray
Arthur and have an affair, but Arthur didn't listen and married her
anyway. Arthur's brother found her and Sir Lancelot in the King's
bedchambers and made the affair public knowledge, there in sealing the
fate of Gwenevere and Sir Lancelot. He called for her to be burned at
the stake for adultery. Anyway, those events seem to shadow the events
that now must come to pass. Had Arthur listened to Merlin, he would
have never married Gwenevere, she would have never had an affair that
led to a war and consequently Arthur never would have been mortally
wounded in that war. The prophesy we face is this: You are to come
against a great demon, possibly Arthur reincarnate himself. In order to
win the battle, you must face down the demon working along side your
soul mate and equal. This is to be a person of great value when the
battle commences. We are headed into a mystical convergence and the
demon is coming to seek revenge on the friend that betrayed him and the
love he lost. In essence, Margaret and I think that Arthur is coming to
fight Sir Lancelot to the death. A sort of re-creation of what was
supposed to be had he not been mortally wounded in battle."

"So Gwenevere was Sir Lancelot's soul mate?"

"Yes, yes she was. Merlin alluded to as much when he cautioned Arthur
against marrying her. The prophesy is to be fulfilled exactly 1123
years after the death of Arthur, on the night of the full moon. Before
the dawn of a new Millennia."

"But Giles, that's…..that's…wait a second…..1123 plus 876…carry the 1…."

"The night of the full moon is two day's before Christmas. A week from
today to be exact."

"Quite right, Rupert. Looks like you have your work cut out for you."
Nana and Willow were standing in the doorway. "This is as far as I go
on this journey, I'm afraid. I'm old and would only be a hindrance.
I've filled Willow in on the prophesy and she is, as always, going to
help Buffy in any way she can. Now, what do you say we leave this alone
for tonight, Hmm? It's still early and I think we could all use some
fun." They all agreed and decided to go out to dinner and a movie. The
rest of the night was uneventful and they all turned in early.

--------

"Morning, Giles." Willow walked into the kitchen where Giles was
reading the morning paper and having tea.

"Good morning, Willow. I trust you slept well?" Giles gave her a smile

"As well as I could considering that Buffy stole the covers….again."

"I did not. You're the cover hog missy. I woke up in the middle of the
night and I thought my toes were gonna break off from frost-bite!"
Buffy joined them in the kitchen.

<Whiner.>

<Am not.>

<Are too.>

<Am not!>

"As much as I'd love to bear witness to your silent battle of wills, I
believe we have more pressing matters ahead of us. We need to leave
this afternoon and meet with Myrddin. He met us at a little bed and
breakfast just outside of town yesterday, but today we will be traveling
to his estate."

"Oh goody, road trip!" Buffy bounced up and down.

"Yes, well. I took the liberty of getting you both passports. We
should be there by nightfall if all goes according to plan."

Buffy gave him a questioning look. "Where's there, Giles?"

"Canada, Medicine Hat to be exact. We'll take a private plane this
afternoon and land at Myrddin's chalet around dinner time."

"Medicine Hat? You've got to be kidding." Buffy gave him an look of
disbelief.

"I assure you Buffy, it's a real place." Giles looked at her through
the top of his glasses.

----------

They arrived at the chalet before seven. Giles, Buffy and Willow stood
at the doors of an old magnificent castle.

"Ooh, Giles…I forgot my computer…be right back!" Willow ran off back to
the car.

"Welcome, Ripper. I trust your journey was a good one." An old man
with a white beard stood before them. Dressed in a sort of royal blue
gown, he gave the appearance of Merlin himself.

"Yes, it was fine, just fine. Myrddin, this is Buffy, the current
slayer."

Myrddin extended his hand and Buffy took it. As soon as she touched
him, she felt a sort of energy course through her. "The pleasure is
mine, dear."

"Nice to meet you." She stared at him, wide-eyed like a deer caught in
headlights.

"The courage in this one is strong, Ripper. Strong indeed. She is the
one we've waited for." He let go of Buffy's hand. "Please, come in.
I'm sure your young friend will find her way."

He led them through the foyer. It was decorated in old, worn tapestries
depicting the adventures of the Knights of the Roundtable. Each one
telling a story. Buffy lingered a bit, awed by the beauty the offered.
They rounded a corridor and entered what had to be the biggest library
either of them had ever seen. There were books from floor to ceiling.
Some parchments lay on the table in the far corner and scrolls could be
seen poking out of one of the highest shelves. They were both awed at
the sight.

"Please, come in. You may browse of course when we are through. I'm
sure my collection is one that you've never quiet laid your eyes on
before….or will again."

After the three of them settled in at the table, Myrddin began to
speak. "Now, the prophesy at hand. Arthur is to come and try to win
back the love he lost all those years ago. But, I am afraid, it was a
love that was not mean to be. Lancelot and Gwenevere were soul
mates….destined to be together." He looked up. "Dear, God….it can't
be."

Willow had walked in, her laptop case swung over her shoulder. She
raised her hand and gave a little wave. "Hi…I, uh…forgot my computer in
the car…..sorry." With an impish grin, she walked over to join them.

Myrddin seemed to be in a trance. His eyes followed her as she walked
over to the table and took a seat next to Buffy.

"Myrddin, are you alright old chap?" Giles gave him a look of concern.

After a few moments, he spoke. "Hmm, yes. I just….it's uncanny." He
continued to stare at Willow and she started to squirm under his gaze.

"Ripper, would you follow me please. I must show you something. Please
excuse us ladies…it will only take a moment."

Myrddin led Giles over to one of the bookcases and instructed him to
retrieve a book. He got it and handed it to Myrddin. Laying it down on
a table, he began to flip through the pages until he came to what he was
looking for. Pointing at something on the page, Giles leaned over and
looked. He straightened up again, took off his glasses and cleaned
them, and leaned in again. He and Myrddin exchanged a few words then
looked over to where Buffy and Willow were sitting.

Buff finally cracked. "What? Giles, you're driving us nuts! Why are
you two looking at Willow like she's gonna sprout wings and fly away or
something? What's the sitch?"

The two men walked back over to where the girls were sitting. Myrddin
began to explain. "You see, Buffy, the slayer was, from the beginning
of time, suppose to be male. He would be the chosen one to fight the
darkness and the forces of evil. In the early days, the council even
began training males. That's where you get most of your dragon slaying
lore from these days. But on a fluke I'm afraid, the slayer's essence
was transferred to a woman at her birth. Her father's kin had been
dragon slayers. And so began the legend of the slayer….female form, of
course."

"I still don't understand…." Willow chimed in.

"Yes, well. It has to do also with soul mates, you see. Legend leads
us to believe that the soul in each of us is only one part of a whole.
We spend our entire lives searching for the other half, we cannot be
complete until then. Several Western Religions believe that when we
die, it is not forever. They believe that the soul is reincarnated, and
we are destined to live many lives until we learn all the lessons life
has to teach us. Unseen forces are at work in us…forces I couldn't even
begin to explain…and it is those forces which draw us towards our soul
mates. As part of the council, I have studied this theory endlessly and
I have come to find a pattern. There are two souls in particular that
keep making the journey. Simply put, they can't seem to get it quite
right. Each life in turn, they are fated to love each other, and each
time they do, an outside force bears down on them, thus dooming their
love and sometimes costing them their lives."

"Kind of like a romantic tragedy…like Romeo and Juliet?" Buffy asked

"Yes, yes….that was one reincarnation. Then we have Cleopatra and Mark
Antony, Anna Leonowens and King Mongkut of Siam…"

"Oooh, I know that one….'The King and I'." Willow piped in.

"Very good, Willow." Giles congratulated her.

<Watcher's pet.>

<Buffy, Shhhh.>

"Yes. Then we come to Sir Lancelot and Gwenevere. Had it all gone
according to plan, Arthur was to marry someone else and die of old age.
Having never been able to produce children, Sir Lancelot's child with
Gwenevere, was to succeed the throne by Arthur's passing. Thus creating
a new line of royalty….and with myself as tutor and mage, bring about
the balance of good and evil." He paused to allow them to digest all
the information.

"This not happening of course, set the two souls in motion again. We
don't see any accounts of male slayers because the council simply chose
to ignore it. Sir Lancelot was a slayer….a slayer of dragons. Having
been banished from the kingdom, he set his course for a monetary and
died there of old age. But not before impregnating a village woman.
And there we have the first recorded slayer, buy council accounts
anyway."

He crossed the room and retrieved the book he and Giles had been looking
at earlier. "Modern storytellers would have us believe that Sir
Lancelot was a man with long flowing black hair and a beard, and
Gwenevere a small but striking blonde. This, however, is not the case.
Sir Lancelot was fair skinned and blonde and Gwenevere, well…look for
yourself." He lifted the book and turned it to them. There on the page
was a beautiful woman, and an equally beautiful man. You could tell she
had a striking figure, even through the garments she wore…..along her
shoulders lay a mane of silky red hair…..and her eyes were a piercing
green.

"It can't be." Buffy said mostly to herself.

"Yes, child, I'm afraid it is. Gwenevere was a redhead….the mark of a
witch in those days, and these I'll assume. She stripped her hair of
it's color with natural bleaching agents. All the portraits you see of
her will show you as much….but I had this drawing done before she met
Arthur. She was betrothed to the Heir apparent, and in order for him to
fully accept her, he father thought she should get rid of the red hair.
Towns people were very superstitious in those days."

"But she looks like….."Buffy couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yes…yes she does. As I said, it's quiet uncanny." Myrddin paused. "I
believe that we've had enough of a history lesson for tonight. Why
don't we retire for the evening? I'm sure you're all quite exhausted
from the trip. There are bedchambers on the second floor. You may all
chose which one you wish to stay in, of course. My room is just down
the hall if you need anything. Goodnight." With that, he disappeared
through the door.

"Yes, well….come along." Giles snapped them out of their thoughts.
"Myrddin is quite right. I'm exhausted, and if we're going to
accomplish anything tomorrow, I'd say a good night's rest is in order."

Silently, they followed Giles to the second floor. Having chosen the
room closest to the stairs, he said good night to the girls and went
into his room.

"Will….do you want to…I mean…."

"Yeah….I don't feel like being alone….this place, as beautiful as it
is…it's creeping me out."

Buffy let out a thankful sigh and they chose the room at the other end
of the hall. After some exploring, they found the bathroom and got
ready for bed. For an old castle, it had every modern convenience.
After setting the alarm, Willow left the radio on for some background
noise. Both of them crawled in, the night's discussion still playing
over in their minds.

"You OK, Will?" Buffy asked after some time. Her friend hadn't said a
word since they entered the room.

"Yeah…it's just, weird…..that picture I mean…I felt like I was looking
in a mirror."

"I know, I saw it too. So this is what your grandmother meant by you
being an important part of the prophesy."

"I guess so…but what was all that stuff about soul mates?….he sure did
jump around a lot in the story….I couldn't quite follow exactly what he
was talking about a few times…"

"Me either…..maybe he was confused……I don't know." <You don't think?>

<What?>

<Nothing….I'm probably wrong anyway.>

Willow turned her head to face Buffy. "What is it?"

"Well, you don't think that….I mean he couldn't be…..was he talking
about us?" Buffy offered the last part barely above a whisper. Afraid
to form the words she'd been thinking about the whole time.

"No…no way. It's crazy…I mean, we're not even in any kind of
relationship." Willow's hand flew up, wishing she'd engage her brain
before her mouth sometimes.

"Oh. I see." Buffy's face was all the confirmation she needed to know
that she'd struck her. Hard.

"Buffy, I'm sorry…I just…"

"Don't worry about it Will, it's fine." She rolled over and presented
Willow with her back.

"I don't think before I speak sometimes, Buffy….you know that….I didn't
mean to hurt your feelings…."

<Goodnight, Will.>

<Come on, don't be like that…..do I have to beg.>

Buffy rolled over and looked at her friend. "Seem to me that I've been
the one to do most of the begging around here. I've had to beg you to
talk to me, beg you to let me help you….I've even begged you to kiss
me. Is it ever not going to be an uphill struggle with you?" Tears
began to well in her eyes. "God, Will….I tried everything to get you to
stay and not go to your grandmothers….I even told you I loved you and
what did you do? You walked out the door! Well, I'm done….understand?
I can't do this anymore…can't play games with you…can't try and predict
your moods or be careful of what I say so as not to hurt YOUR feelings.
Well, I have feelings too you know." Again she rolled over and faced
the door.

Both of them laid there for sometime. Each lost in their own thoughts
and regrets. Tears streamed silently down each of their faces, not
knowing what to do next. A song began to play on the radio:

/ / / We were all wounded in some domestic war / I found you to settle
my score / You look like father you felt like mother / My mind told my
heart there is no other / And I gave you my soul / And every ounce of
control / And I gave you my skin / And my original sin / And I gave you
my pride and my side oh my pride / Ain't that enough? / I turned your
dreams into lightening / Ain't that enough? / I held the world back for
you / Ain't that enough? / I loved you past the point of dying / Ain't
that enough of me for you? / / /

<Buffy…I'm sorry…please talk to me.> Nothing…not even movement <Buffy,
come on….I told you I was scared> Still nothing. <I know it's a lame
excuse…..but it's the truth.>


/ / / Ain't that enough? / I turned your dreams into lightening / Ain't
that enough? / I held the world back for you / Ain't that enough? / I
loved you past the point of dying / Ain't that enough of me for you? / /
/

The words of the song began to permeate Willow's consciousness. She
settled down somewhat and began to hear them for what they were.
Suddenly, she felt like if she didn't do something to fix this now….it
would all slip away from her. Slowly, she reached out in the dark for
Buffy's shoulder…..and was shrugged away.

<Don't, Will….just don't>

<Buffy, please.>

<No, Will…not this time…..I've given you enough of me……I've tried so
hard…..> Apparently, the song had invaded Buffy's mind too.

"God, Buffy, I can't take this mind reading thing. I need to hear your
voice. Won't you talk to me, please?"

After some time, Willow could protest no longer. She and Buffy both
fell into a deep sleep, the effects of their conversation reaching out
and touching them deeply.

---------------

<Oh, God, Oh, God, Oh, God……what have I done?> "Giles! GILES! Come
quick!" Willow screamed out in the early hours of dawn.

He heard her, and was up the stairs two at a time. "Willow….what is it,
what's….Dear, God…what's happened."

The scene before him was this: Willow was kneeling at the bedside,
holding Buffy's hand. Ordinary in every way, except that Buffy was
stark white…her eyes shadowed deep within her face….her hand lifeless in
Willow's. Giles walked over to the bed.

"What's happened, Willow? How has this happened.?" He couldn't believe
his eyes.

A voice, barely above a whisper, spoke from the door. "She tried to
sever the link"

"What?" Came from both Giles and Willow.

"Your slayer, Ripper…she tried to sever the link that binds
them…..whatever happened in this room last night, she must have felt it
was her only choice." He stood there for a moment, taking in the scene
before him before he turned his conversation to Willow. "You have a
bond between you, a link to each other's minds. I alluded to as much
last night, but apparently, one of you was unable to accept it, and the
other has suffered the consequence…..you ARE soul mates, that is a
fact…..and meant to fight Arthur together, side by side."

There was no denying it now….no way to talk or reason her way out of
it. The implications hit her like a ton of bricks. What had she done?
Had she been so harsh last night that she drove Buffy to do something so
drastic that the price might very well be her life?

"No child, it wasn't just last night. I'm afraid it the entire
situation. The girl must have felt for a very long time that she wasn't
good enough for you in order to damage the link the way she has."

"Myrddin, you needn't make her feel bad. The situation is dire enough
already." Giles jumped in to defend her.

"Quite right Ripper, but it is the truth of the situation. I can tell
you this, young one, there is only one way to fix this…one way to
rectify the situation…..and you know what it is….you just have to look
deep enough inside yourself." He paused for a moment and let out a
sigh. "Come, Ripper….we have research to do……and your two girls here
have a long uphill battle ahead of them."

Giles looked at Willow again. With sadness and resignation in his eyes,
he followed the old demon out of the room.

-------------












--
Willow: It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...
skanky. (aside to Buffy, worried) And I think I'm kinda gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do
with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually... (gets a look from Buffy) uh, That's a good
point.

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