FIC: Coming to Terms

["Pat Kelly" <bandits@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hey.

Okay, this takes place inbetween "Lie to Me" and "The Dark Age". It follows my two previous fics, "Taking a Risk" and "Halloween". It's Valentines. (And I started this before the theme)
Enjoy.

COMING TO TERMS


The Bronze was packed as always. Music blared, and if people had enough space to move, they attempted to dance. The girls were all smiles, and the guys were dreading the upcoming day, hoping that spending a few hours in the packed club would help them forget. Valentine's Day was two days away.

Two people were looking forward to it and nervous at the same time. It was a big day for couples. Especially new couples like them. The Slayer and the Hacker sat at a table drinking sodas and pretending to do schoolwork.

"I don't get it." Buffy said, looking around.

"Get what?"

"The Bronze is closed on the day of the big love-fest."

"Valentine's Day is the only time of year that we all realize what a dive this is, boys know their girlfriends would kill them if they spent what's supposed to be the most romantic night there is in a place that advertises to roaches, and."

"Did I ever tell you that I find knowledge babbles very attractive?"

Willow smiled, and grasped Buffy's hand under the table. Then she saw Xander standing by himself in the corner. He was trying hard to appear like he wasn't looking at them, but he wasn't doing a very good job.

He hadn't said much of anything to them lately. Willow realized Angel had been right. It was more that Xander felt hurt over their involvement rather then the fact they were both females in a relationship. To a point she could understand what he was feeling, but then she remembered his 'Buffy complex'.

He had come up with this bizarre idea that Buffy was in some sort of untouchable bubble. In his mind, it was only a matter of time before she realized that she liked him, and only then would she come out of the bubble. And into his arms.

Just a few months ago, she thought she disliked his 'complex' because it smashed any hope of her and him together. The real reason she disliked it, as she knew now, was because she was afraid he would eventually succeed, and she would never get the chance to love Buffy.

Some people would say she stole his chance, but he just couldn't get it through his head, that friendship was all he was going to get. Apparently that wasn't enough for him, and that was sad. Besides, their blonde friend was not a piece of property to be bid on. It was Buffy's choice, and she didn't force her.

Oh he cared about Buffy, would risk his life for her, but there was always that ulterior motive of trying to wear her down to his charms. Willow knew he'd find someone if he tried, it was the time when love was in the air after all, but his 'Buffy complex' was still controlling him. And that's why he wasn't talking to them.

"We need to do something." Willow said.

"Yeah. I don't like 'Ignoring Xander'. But I guess everybody has hidden sides, as freaky as it is."

"Good. We're in agreement. So.what do we do?"

"Oh no. I can't take on all the responsibility of trying to figure out how to come up with a 'save the friendship' talk. You're part of this too, missy."

"I know.well.let's just go do it. The sooner the better, right?"

"What are we going to say? Just -"

"Hey.is that Cordelia walking over to him?"

***


"You're pathetic." Cordelia said to him.

"How I love your observations into my character."

"I'm telling you this for your own good cause you stopped me from being mini-demon food. You need to get this through your Cro-Magnon brain."

"Telling me what?"

"To get over your incredibly disgusting 'I hope Buffy loses her mind and decides to go out with me' phase. She's taken. Deal."

"I must be dreaming. You're insulting me, but you're actually trying to back it up with reasons."

"I may enjoy making you question the purpose of your existence and make you look stupid in the process, but right now, I'm trying to stop you from acting like an idiot."

"It's none of your business. Besides, you could get massive amounts of material if you started spreading 'them' around. So why aren't you?"

"There's certain things that I don't use. Gender preference is at the top of the list. They're obviously happy, so good for them."

"Oh come on. Cordelia Chase has morals?"

"Don't be so shocked. They're secure in their choice, so therefore, have my respect. It's private, obviously something special, and between them. If you know what's good for you, and to keep them as friends, you'll do what I said, and deal."

"I can't believe it. This from the girl who invents new insults for me every day."

"You want me to stop? Because it hurts? Is that it? Newsflash, Xander. If you stopped believing you were a moron, I'd gain some respect for you, and then, no more insults.

"If you just had the tiniest bit of confidence in yourself, like Soldier Xander did, and stopped going after Buffy, you'd see that there are plenty of girls who'd be willing to go out with you."

"Like who?"

She simply stared at him for a second, shook her head, and walked away.

***


Buffy had been in the library for about twenty minutes waiting for Giles to come out of his office. It was unlike him to be in there that long. Plus, he had the door shut and he had the blinds drawn, so she couldn't see in. She had a feeling that something was wrong, but she also knew it was probably a bad idea to just walk in.

So she waited, staring at the office door. Then she heard the library doors open, and turned to see her favorite red-haired person walking over to her.

"Hey." Willow said in greeting.

"Hey." Buffy responded, backing into her waiting arms.

"So.why are we staring at the door? Hey, why are the shades.?"

Buffy shrugged. "Giles is in there. I came here to report on last night's patrol, cause you know how he gets his scones in a knot if I don't -"

"Scones in a knot?"

"Knickers in a bunch then. I don't know. Anyway, my point is, that he has yet to show."

"Should we.check to see if he's okay?"

"I didn't know if I should.but it's getting to be almost a half hour."

Buffy reached her hand out and tried to turn the knob. The door was not only closed, but locked as well. The two girls looked at each other, clearly worried now. Xander came walking into the library then, and plopped his book-bag on the table. He looked at their position.

"There's a fine line between hugging and naughty touching, you know." He said.

"Your point being?" Buffy asked.

He raised his hands in surrender before she could start her attack. "Just looking out for you guys is all."

Willow let go of Buffy and went by Xander. "Really? Why?"

"High school's vicious, Will. If people knew that -"

"That Buffy and I were a couple they'd make fun of me? Oh that's a new experience. Or, people would avoid me and not make me do their homework? Darn. Hate to miss out on that.

"People probably would say stuff. And if they do, they do. We'll deal. But this isn't about watching out for us. It's your way of trying to get us to go back to the way things were so you can still fool yourself into thinking Buffy might go out with you."

"No it isn't. She was swooning over Deadboy before, remember?"

"Yeah, but you could hate him and have a good reason. You want to hate me, but you can't."

"You knew -"

"I knew you liked her all right. I had to listen to it every single day. Even after she told you no. She's not yours."

"I know that. She's yours. That's - "

Buffy decided that she had been silent long enough. "That's right. But because I choose to be. Not because she's forcing me to. It makes me sick, Xand. You know that? I gave you my friendship, which I don't give to many people, I trusted you, I even understood that you liked me. I can't control your feelings.

"But now it's just disgusting. All you can seem to think about is getting me. Like I'm a prize. I'm not. I'm with Willow now. And you wanna talk real pain? She waited sixteen years for you. And not once did you even pay attention long enough to realize she had feelings for you. You didn't have to go out with her, but the fact that you didn't even know how she felt -"

"Wait."

"Let me finish. I'm really glad," She smiled at Willow, "we are where we are right now. She's special.and for her to love me.wow. I.love it. And her. So don't blame her. Or us. There are other girls who'd love to go out with you. Maybe you should try and look around."

"Cordelia said that, but she was just being her usual bitchy self."

Buffy shook her head, shrugging. "I don't know what to tell you. It's your call. I just hope you're my friend, cause I can't tell anymore. I love you that way, but if that isn't good enough for you, then. "

"God Randall, I'm sorry!" Giles called out, interrupting her.

They ran to the door, leaving the argument hanging in the air. Buffy used her strength to break the knob, and the three of them rushed into the office. They found Giles, looking like he just woke up, sitting in his chair, glasses off and sweating.

"Giles?" Buffy asked.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked.

"You don't look very good." Willow observed.

He rubbed his eyes. "What? Oh.I'm fine. Just a long day. Must have dozed off."

There were skeptical faces looking back at him, and he began putting the materials on his desk in a drawer quickly.

"If you're sure." Buffy trailed off.

"Everyone has off days, right?"

"I guess." 'But you've never had them before.'

"Glad that's settled then. Now, anything of note occur on patrol last night?"

***


Buffy stood in Miss Calendar's classroom waiting for the last of her students to clear out. It had been last period, and the bell had rung, so school was over. The start of the weekend. But not for her.

At least not yet. She had to talk to the computer teacher/techno-pagan friend about Giles. The two of them were.somewhat involved, and she might've known what had been bothering him. The woman spotted her as she looked up from a computer a student had forgotten to shut down.

"Buffy."

"Hey Miss Calendar. And before you say anything, I'll get the database done. Promise."

"It's okay. I know you have other 'extracurricular activities' that keep you busy. I'm surprised that you're taking the applications course."

"Well, I decided adding another class couldn't hurt. Besides, after baking my first cake, I realized HomeEc really wasn't the class for me. I'm trying to expand my techno-knowledge."

"I'm also surprised that Willow's in it too, because she's already in the highest level I teach. Seems unnecessary for her to take two computer courses, especially when one is so easy for her."

"You know, Will. She's a grade getting machine."

"Uh huh. So what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Oh.Giles."

"Is something wrong?"

"I was hoping you would know. Seeing as how you two."

"He's seemed okay to me. A little more stressed, but other than that, same old Rupert."

"He was just acting a little unlike himself. Probably worrying too much. Like you said - stress. Hellmouth and all. So, you taking him anywhere tomorrow? Maybe he just needs to relax."

"It's a possibility."

"That's all I'm gonna get?"

"Well.what are you and Willow doing tomorrow?"

Buffy gasped. "You knew?"

"Taking a computer class around the same time Willow takes the same one? Even though it's really simple for her? Getting computers next to each other? I know the signs. Give me some credit, Buffy."

"Okay.so.are we cool?"

"Cool."

"See you Monday then?"

"With the database."

"Right."

***


"Mom, you've gotta help me!" Buffy said to her frantically.

Joyce, on the phone, told the person on the other line to hold on a second, and put the phone down. She led her daughter to the living room. "You can do this."

"But its tomorrow!"

"Places are still open if that's what you're worried about. Just think about what you want to share with her. How's Xander?"

"I don't know. We said all we're going to say. It's his turn now. I just want to be friends with him again."

"I'm sure he'll come to his senses. You're both his best friends. He won't give that up."

"I hope you're right. How about you? Got any big plans tomorrow?"

"The Gallery."

Buffy frowned. "You should.do."

"I'll be fine. Now go and find her something."

"But mom."

"She's your girlfriend, you know what to do."

Buffy huffed, and went out the front door. Joyce went back to the phone.

"Sorry. Now I'm telling you, Willow, you can handle it."

***


It was early morning, and Xander was walking down the main street of Sunnydale. He looked around at the people. The couples. It was Valentine's Day. It wasn't so much that he didn't have a girlfriend to share it with, but more that it got him thinking about Buffy and Willow. Friendship was stronger than any possible relationship. To him at least. So what was his problem?

Was having Buffy like him the way she liked Willow that important to him? The fact that the Slayer had picked everybody but him? A vampire, Willow, and she even had a crush on that vampire-positive nut, Ford. And the guy wasn't even that good-looking. He couldn't be that far off in his thinking, could he?

But he should be happy Buffy even wanted to be his friend. She was special to him, and she had something he was drawn to. He guessed that anyone who met her was drawn to it to. He found people who had confidence in themselves, and strength, very attractive. Mainly because he didn't have those qualities.

That was why he had never thought of Willow that way. They both had always been in the same boat. The same social ineptness. So, a bond of friendship formed. A long-lasting one. It wasn't that he never found her to be pretty, just that he didn't dwell on it. He liked being friends. They were good at that. And now he was risking that by not talking to her and Buffy.

'Idiot.'

He passed a clothing shop, basically a Gap under a different name, and saw Cordelia through the window. The May Queen was getting outfits off the racks, checking the price tags, and then yelling at the woman by the cash register. When it wasn't Buffy, it has her. If he let himself think about her for too long, he'd get confused. He hated her guts, but was strangely attracted to her at the same time.

Even though she was the Queen of the Bitches, she still had confidence in herself. And that shallow thing was an act. People with confidence weren't shallow. Most the guys in school liked her for her body, but there was more there than she let on. When she was at the top of her game with him, he could see the fire in her eyes. He didn't know how to handle it.

He was so lost in his musings that he didn't realize that she had exited the store, and was now standing beside them.

"Am I being stalked?" She asked. "Cause that whole voyeur thing is a real turnoff."

"Just trying to get inspiration for zingers. Besides, I can always go on the Internet to see the whole package."

"You would."

"Am I denying?" He looked down both ends of the street. "Where you going? Hot date for the big V?"

"Like I'd tell you."

"So that's a no?"

"I walked here."

"And your point would be?"

"Your welcome to walk with me. Just don't draw attention to yourself."

"Oh, wow! I get the privilege of walking next to Queen C?"

"Either you're coming or you're not."

"I got nothing better to do. I can work my new material."

"Whatever."

They began walking.

***


Giles answered the door, yawning. It had been a rough night. When he saw who it was, the fog cleared, and he quickly forgot the dreams that had plagued him. He smiled, and was about to welcome her in.

"Jenny. What a.surprise."

"Do you know what today is?"

"The fourteenth, I think." It came to him. "Ah.I'm sorry, I -"

"It's okay. But come on. Time's wasting."

"Where are we -"

She was pulling him out the door, and he still had his slippers on.

***


"Where are we going?" Willow asked impatiently.

"Relax. Good things come to those who wait." Buffy responded.

They were standing on a street corner. Just standing. If Buffy had a car, not to mention a driver's license, waiting wouldn't have been necessary. Or trying to get a ride from Cordelia.

"You promise?"

"I never make promises I can't keep, Will. I stick by that. Just waiting for a ride, that's all. And you can blame my mom. I don't understand how she can be so liberal about us, and not trust me behind the wheel of a car."

"Hmmm.might have to do with.I dunno."

"What?"

"The raccoon."

"She told you about the raccoon? It was a family camping trip. It was a deserted dirt road. I was on my father's lap. I was ten. I'm older now, and it's not fair."

"Older, sure. More mature."

"Hey!"

"What if it had been a bunny? Or.or a.squirrel?"

"I cried for a week over that raccoon, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just antsy. Maybe if you gave me something to do while we were waiting I wouldn't pick on you so much."

"I'm the one with maturity issues?"

"I'm just saying that -" Before she could get another word out, Buffy was kissing her.

"Better?" Buffy asked after she stopped.

"It helped."

***


Xander and Cordelia walked to and through the park, talking.

"I know, but you've gotta let it go." Cordelia told him. "It's not that she doesn't like you. It's that you started being friendly with her before you asked her out. You don't do that."

"But Willow's been friends with her just as long as I have, and now they're."

"Girls are different."

"That clears it up."

"I'm just saying, girls connect on more levels than they do with guys. It's the way it works. You have nothing to do with it. You have no control over your hormones."

"Meaning?"

"That your attraction to girl prevents you from seeing the friendship they have to offer at first. Then, once you put a lid on your testosterone long enough to realize it, you get over it."

"Girls don't have that problem?"

"Oh we do. We just look for more besides attraction. There are those of us who are really out of control. And they would be called sluts. Or if paid, hoars."

"You're the expert, I guess."

"Hey!"

"I meant on your gender."

"Well, yeah. Of the two of us, which one is a girl? Maybe I should rephrase that."

"Ha, ha. You're telling me that you have deep, multi-level connections with Harmony and your flock? And since when don't you look at attractiveness first?"

"I guess, I don't have them. But I did. Once. And the only reason I go after attractive guys with nothing else there, is because that's what everybody expects."

"That doesn't sound right."

"To survive in high school, popularity is key. Or friends."

"And you chose the more glamorous way."

"Maybe I'm trying to change. I'm walking next to you aren't I? And maybe I want to see you survive. Don't lose your friends over something so stupid."

They exited the park, and Cordelia's convertible was parked right by the curb.

"You said you walked."

"I told a fib. It was the only way I'd get you to come with me."

"Why?"

"You need to do some major apologizing, Harris."

"It's really not me?"

"It's not you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Cause I like you, you moron. You're the only guy whose never made a pass at me. Then you save my life, and now you're listening to me. I'm beginning to even respect you."

"Oh."

***


Jenny took Giles into the woods, and they hiked a little ways. First, they had to go to a store to buy something a little more outdoorsy for him, because tweed and slippers really didn't do well in nature. They finally found a small clearing, and sat down.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked her.

"This is where I come to forget and relax. Technology is great, but it's so confining sometimes." He looked stunned. "What? You though all I did was upgrade modems all day? I'm a nineties girl, Rupert, but even I like to escape sometimes."

"I didn't mean to imply that at all. It is very peaceful. Serene."

"Just what you need. Buffy's been concerned about you."

"Has she?"

"And so have I. I didn't want to worry her, so I didn't say anything."

"I appreciate that."

"What's going on with you?"

"My past.is rather colorful, and I thought I had escaped it. Recently, it's been trying to catch up with me."

"I know the feeling."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. How come I get the feeling that's all you're letting me have?"

"That's more than I've told anyone in a long time. Are you willing to share?" She didn't answer. "That's what I thought. And it's probably for the best."

"Agreed. Just don't let it get to you."

"Perhaps this is exactly what I need. Thank you."

"No problem. I was always partial to the future anyway. Happy Valentine's Day."

***


Cordelia picked up Buffy and Willow and they drove to the ice rink just off Route 17. The two girls had no idea she was picking up Xander, but as soon as they looked into his eyes, they saw apology. And the strain they felt to their friendship with him was lifted.

When they got inside, he hugged them both. The four of them went to get skates, and then went out on the ice. Buffy held onto Willow, making sure she didn't fall, while Xander and Cordelia immediately fell.

Buffy looked at them closely. "Uh oh. Cupid has struck two other victims."

Willow looked too. "No way. He wouldn't. She wouldn't. No."

"She's not as bad as you think. She could have spread stuff around school, negative stuff, but she didn't."

"Still.she's Cordelia."

"We're in no position to judge. I know it, you know it. We will support them. Right?"

"Yeah. You're right. We will."

"I used to be like her once." They skated gently around the rink. "And I used to do this everyday."

"Is this why we came here?"

"Mom said I should find something I wanted to share with you. This was the biggest thing I could think of. Skating was my thing. If we're going to do this, I want you to be a part of everything."

"How come you didn't tell me about Ford then?"

"Don't tell me you're jealous of him."

"Picked up on that?"

"He was a crush in fifth grade, Will."

"The raccoon was too."

"The raccoon was a crush?"

"No! I dunno..."

"Okay, listen. Ford was a nut. Now I admit, it was nice seeing him again, but not because I had feelings for him. He was a friend from the past. And the past always comes back. I don't like it."

"In his case, he became a vampire wannabe who wanted to turn you over to Spike."

"Exactly. I'm with you. I love you, nobody is ever gonna change that."

Willow wanted to cry. "You're being all meaningful, and my gift stinks."

"I'm sure it doesn't." She got out a bag from her jacket, and showed them to Buffy. "Candy hearts?"

"Read them."

Buffy opened the bag and dumped some onto her hand. They stopped skating. They read -

'B & W 4EVER'

'LOVE MAKES YOU DO THE WACKY'

'UR MY BEST FRIEND'

'YOU PROTECT ME'

'YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH'

One had a stake in the center. And one simply said -

'I LUV U, BUFFY'

Now, Buffy was the one who was going to cry. She couldn't keep her balance, so she fell to the ground. Willow tried to rush to help her.

"You hate them. I knew it. I made you fall."

"How did you make these?"

"I got them personalized in the candy store."

"I love them. They're so.you."

Xander and Cordelia skated over.

"Looks like somebody's got a case of the clumsies." He said.

"It was for a good reason." Buffy said. He and Willow helped her up, and Cordelia even tried to pitch in. "I told you, didn't I?" She asked him.

"Huh? Oh.yeah." He smiled.

"You'll do fine."

"So will you."

"I think we should let the lovebirds be." Cordelia said.

"Yeah, I have to thank Willow properly for her gift." Buffy said.

"How? Oh." Willow said slowly, and then smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Will."

And then the kissing began.

***


At the Gallery, Joyce was trying to get her computer to work. She was having so many problems with the system lately. Then she looked up and saw the man who promised to fix those problems. Something with the software. She smiled a little too much at him.

"Hello, Mr. Buchanan. Thanks for coming out. This is really slowing things down."

"Don't worry. The older software packages do cause an awful lot of malarkey, but I'll fix that right up."

"I really appreciate this, Mr. Buchanan."

"Nonsense. It's my job. And please, call me Ted."




"I have misplaced my pants." (Homer J. Simpson)

"You know what the secret of life is?"
"Your finger?"
"One thing. Just one thing."
"That's great, but what's the one thing?"
"That's what you gotta figure out."
(Jack Palance, Billy Crystal, City Slickers)

"I heard your heartbeat." (Buffy Summers, to Angel, ANGEL)