FIC: Decision Point(Or - Find the Fun)

DECISION POINT (OR - FIND THE FUN)

A vampire flew through the air, and landed face first on a stone bench. If he were still human, his jaw would have been busted open. Strong hands picked him up by his shirt collar; he was kneed in the gut, and tossed onto his back. A foot pushed down on his neck.

There was a second vampire. He was getting pushed back further and further, by multiple punches being directed at his face. He was close to his buddy now. His attacker kicked him forcefully in the chest, and sweeped his legs. The vampire twirled and landed on top of his friend.

Faith staked him, but the other one still laid there. He raised his head up.

"Adam is coming. He makes us stronger."

Buffy bent down, holding her stake above him. "Looks like he's still got a few bugs to work out, but we got the message. Thanks." She plunged the stake into his heart, and his ashes settled in the grass.

The two slayers high-fived.

"Man I missed this." Faith said, revved up.

An image entered Buffy's mind. An image from a night that still haunted her. A wave of guilt washed over her.

Man, I'm gonna miss this. Shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride.

She quickly shook it away and smiled at Faith.

"The chosen two back in action. I like this too."

They began the trek out of the cemetery.

"So who's this Adam guy, anyway?"

"I wouldn't exactly call him a guy. Half a guy, or maybe even a quarter guy. He's like a puzzle a five-year-old puts together. None of the pieces are supposed to fit, but somehow they do."

"You're not sayin' what I think you're sayin."

"What do you think I'm saying? If you think I'm saying he's a techno version of Frankenstein complete with floppy drive, super strength, and demon parts, you'd be right."

"Nope. Woulda been way off. Gone up against him?"

"And lost. Majorly. He is doing something to the vamps, cause they have seemed, I dunno, less afraid."

"Then he's just setting 'em up to get taken out. You and me, we'll rewire Frank the Next Generation, steal his vamp steroid pills, and toss him in the scrap heap."

"I like the way you think. Guys are at the Bronze. You got the energy?" Faith grinned at her.

Isn't it crazy how slaying always makes you hungry and horny?

Buffy grinned back at her. "Course you do."

"Long as I get food out of it, I'm in."

***

The Bronze was…well, the Bronze. It was the one thing that had stayed unchanged in the town. That, and the nightly "mysterious" deaths. Buffy and Faith entered the club, and spotted the gang over at a table. Riley was surprisingly also there.

As they approached, Willow got up off her stool and walked over to the bar. Faith shook her head and took a deep breath. Every time she saw Willow, if the girl could get away from her, she did. If she had to be around her she'd act polite, and nice, but she really didn't feel that way, and Faith knew that. She also knew the redhead's hatred towards her was completely justified. She had thought Willow to be her enemy, which was why she had had that daydream of shoving a blade through the girl's stomach. She had been wrong, and completely screwed everything up.

There was nothing she could say, to herself or to Willow, to make things right. Willow was the only one out of Buffy's circle of friends that she had truly wanted to hurt before, and that was for two reasons. The first being that Willow was everything, every quality, which Faith thought, she could never achieve. And the second being, that she was the one Buffy spent the most time with. She had been the one that Buffy needed.

Not Faith. Not the person in the same the line of work.

Faith was just beginning to understand that Buffy's friendship didn't have to be competed for. That the blonde valued, or had valued, she was still unsure of her place yet, her friendship just as much as the hacker's. She didn't hate Willow, though she had convinced herself she had at one point, because she couldn't deal with the rage she had inside her. She was working on it.

The truth of it was, she wanted Willow as a friend too. There weren't too many people in the world that would help you even though they despised you, and Faith could only imagine what Willow was like when she liked you. She wanted to know.

"How'd the slayage go?" Xander asked.

"All encountered vamps extinguished." Buffy said, going to sit on Riley's lap, and kissing him. "Hey you. Been here long?"

"Long enough to be surprised at the amount of military knowledge Xander has."

"Yeah, who needs years of military training? All you have to do is buy a plastic gun from an evil magician and let him weave his evil magic."

"I'll make sure to mention that to my superiors."

"Speaking of," Buffy said, "did you find anything out?"

"Everyone's got the military code of silence policy down to a 'T'. How about Adam?"

"Nope. Some of his recruits though." She got up and reached for his hand. "Enough work. Dance with me."

Riley rose, and they started to walk out to the dance floor.

"You kids behave." Faith said. Buffy simply rolled her eyes at the remark. Faith turned to Xander. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. My schedule's wide open."

"Why'd you -"

"Forgive you so fast?"

"How'd you know I was gonna say that?"

"Cause I saw you watch Will leave, and I figured the topic of 'forgiveness' had to be on your mind somewhere. You know, seeing as she still…doesn't."

"And you became the King of Deduction, when?"

"Well, when you're a jobless, non-college, living in his parents basement type of guy like me, you tend to spend most of your time learning to understand the human condition."

"I see. So…why did…you take me off your hate list?"

"I'm a male."

"Glad you're secure in your gender type."

"My point, 'O Quick to Be Sarcastic One', is that generally we're all talk. About women mainly. But when confronted with the opposite sex, we tend to cave."

"So the only reason you forgave me is because you were afraid of what I might've done to you." She stared at the table. "I'm just kidding myself. It's my fault. Once somebody labels ya evil, it'll always stick."

"Okay, so maybe the original reason was out of fear, but I wouldn't have just said 'Hey I forgave you cause I thought you might kill me if I didn't' if I thought you were evil."

"Then explain it to me."

He looked into her eyes. 'The look' wasn't there anymore. Willow was right.

"None of us think you're evil. Willow knows, we all know, you're sorry and want to be a good guy…gal again. But forgiveness and believing somebody to be evil are two totally unrelated things. For me, it was a little easier.

"I've got rage, I've been disliked many, many times, and I know what it's like to feel left out. But I was in a position where I had support to fall back on, so I wasn't tempted to take the other extreme route."

"But I had all of you there, and I still snapped."

"Aha, but you didn't think you did. Big difference. And that's our fault too. By the time we tried to reach out for you…well, a peaceful solution wasn't an option was it?"

All that killing and you're afraid to die?

"No, I was really messed up then."

"Course, then there was the killing…"

"They didn't really register. Kinda get numb to 'em."

"Really?"

'Go ahead. Say you would lay down on your bed alone, and cry until there were no more tears left, and you sank deeper and deeper.'

"I'm thirsty. Wicked hungry too."

'You're hopeless. How do you ever expect to be friends with these people if you don't -'

"Shut up." Faith muttered to herself as she headed to the bar.

***

Buffy and Riley moved slowly on the dance floor. He could tell she was distracted.

"Hey…you okay?"

"I'm just dandy." She laughed softly at her own use of the bizarre word. "I've been absentee girlfriend lately, haven't I? Sorry."

"We both have our own lives. But I've missed you."

"Quality 'us' time soon, promise. Just had a lot on my mind lately. The Initiative, Adam…and that is such a lame name, you know?"

"Faith's in there too, right?"

"You caught my avoidance, huh?"

"She not -"

"No, that's just the thing. It's been great. Slaying with her, talking, hanging…it's guilt, really."

"Guilt over…"

"What I did to her, what we did to each other, what Xander and Willow went through…she's forgiven me, and I've forgiven her, but I don't know if…"

"What? You can talk to me."

"But you're not exactly impartial when it comes to her are you?"

"I'm trained to be."

"You have a recent track record of not following the rules, remember?" He gave her a look. "But I'll try and explain."

"That's all I ask."

"I think it has something to do with us both being slayers. Even when we fought, I didn't want to hurt her. And the way she talks now, I know she didn't really want to either. Okay, so maybe she was jealous, but she was just following orders."

Riley flinched slightly. 'So that's what following orders leads to.'

"Then when I had to…do what I did to her…I wanted to be glad she was down and out. But I wasn't."

"Family."

"Huh?"

"You don't want to turn against family. I…know the feeling." His recent quarrels with his Initiative team members sprang to mind.

"See? But the gang…they're family too. And I feel like I'm trying to fit Faith in where she doesn't want to be, and where the gang doesn't want her to be. I just want them to understand."

"Not everybody is forgiving as you. Time heals all wounds, though, right?"

"Or makes the wound bigger. Then there's infection, and amputation, and…I know she hurt her, and I don't want to push either of them…"

"Who are we talking about now?"

***

Willow sat at the bar, thinking. She had briefly considered ordering a beer, but her previous experimentation with the stuff had led to Buffy/Spike smoochage, so…no, that was not a good idea. She needed to figure out what side she was going to come down on, because she had been in the middle. Like Faith or Hate Faith? Tricky, tricky question.

How was she supposed to like someone who had held her at knife tip? Who had used her friend? Who had held her at knife tip? That was a recurring question. Faith was trying really hard, she wasn't trying to kill her, and Willow had heard something that she never thought she would hear the dark-haired slayer say.

I'm sorry.

Faith had apologized to her. For everything. And it was sincere. Willow was floored by that. Mostly because she had filed her under the 'evil psychotic' category, and generally those people didn't tend to apologize for what they did. She had helped Faith with the cops because, well, she couldn't not help people who really wanted it. It was a curse.

Spike being a good example. The vampire had tried to bite her all those months ago. To change her, and who knows what else, but her first instinct was not to run away from the demon who had kidnapped her and tortured her friends, but to comfort him, and allow him to try and bite her again a half hour later. She eventually came to her senses, but that was not the point.

"Don't forget that you stopped him from staking himself, Willow." She told herself.

And the difference between Spike and Faith? Spike wasn't sorry for anything he did. Faith was. Everyone else forgave her already. Xander, Giles…and Tara seemed to think she was okay. Tara's opinions seemed to have a lot of importance to Willow lately, and she was still struggling to figure out why. Where was she? Oh, forgiveness. Buffy had forgiven Faith too.

That was the core of her dislike of the other slayer. Right before Faith's doublecross, Buffy had what seemed to be every waking moment with her sister in combat. Ah, there it was. The green eyed monster. Buffy was her friend. Buffy came to her with problems. Faith wasn't supposed to stay, carve a place.

Kendra had been different. Kendra was 'Miss anti-social'. She had never tried to join the gang, spend time with them…and Willow just realized how selfish and mean she was being.

"Kendra died, and you're…what am I saying?" Willow asked herself.

"You okay?"

Who said that? Willow turned her head. It was Faith.

"Fine, thanks."

"Listen, I never really, thanked you…about the cops."

"You're welcome, but I only did it because -"

"Because Buffy asked you to. I know. Still, you didn't have to."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it." Willow began to move. "I know you hate me. I've never seen anybody so focused on Tekken before. You must have really wanted to kick my ass."

"I have my reasons."

"Yeah, I guess you do. I wanted her friendship just as much as yours you know. I'd never met another slayer before her. She had cool friends, a kick life; I just wanted to be a part of it. I blew it, but now I got a freebie.

"And I really don't want to screw it up this time. Just know…I'm not trying to take your guys personal space, and…I'm done."

Willow just stood still for a second, and then walked away.

***

"Oh, this is more like it."

"Whoever you are, I'm not in the mood, so…" Faith turned around on the barstool and looked up at Spike. "You."

"So this is the infamous Faith. This body suits you, it really does."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Buffy playing Miss Slut, didn't seem to fit, but this body was built for it." She flipped him the finger. "Little Missy's got a 'tude, has she? You know, I never saw Red just up and walk away from somebody like that. You must have really done a number on her."

"Is there a point to this, Limp Fang?"

"You're just asking for it, aren't you?"

"And I bet you wish you could give it to me. Too bad, huh?"

Spike had to admit that she was good at finding the weak points. He just had to keep his rage contained. "You really think you'll ever be a part of the Scooby troupe? Maybe ride in the Mystery Machine? Red's got in for you. The only reason they're tolerating you is cause they're scared."

"Buffy may have a problem with dusting your ass, but I don't. Just thought I'd get that out there."

"You're trying to hurt me, and I'm sure I'll get all teary-eyed any minute. You got the darkness in you, girl. It's only a matter of time before you lose control. And if you think they're gonna bloody save you from crossing that line, think again. They'll kill you."

"One last chance."

Spike held up his hands. "I'm gone. But, I know who you are. Trying to bury it can be unhealthy."

***

Buffy came over to the table, and saw that Willow was the only one sitting there.

"Xander went home, and Faith's over at the bar." Willow said, answering Buffy's silent question.

Buffy sat down. "Riley said to say goodnight."

"Oh."

"Willow…about Faith…"

"You can't make me like her, Buffy."

"I'm not trying to. But I made her hurt, Will. You don't know what it feels like to plunge a knife into someone's stomach. A person. It's a sick feeling. Disgusting actually. I hurt her for you, Xander, Wesley, Angel, Lester, and whoever else.

"I know she did horrible things, but I just can't hurt her anymore. She doesn't like who she is, and that's hurting her enough. Plus the guilt. I can't begin to understand how she made you feel, and I haven't forgotten what she did, so I'm going to say one last thing."

"What?"

"You hate Faith…kill her."

"Um…"

"I'm serious. She'd probably let you too. It'd be over and done with. So, just do it."

"Come on, Buffy. Why are you saying this?"

"You're my best friend, Will. And if you think Faith is getting in the way…hell, use a gun. I won't stop you. Because we're friends. I'd always watch your back. Nobody is gonna throw my best friend in jail. It doesn't matter what you did, or do. We'll -"

"I get it, okay?"

"Do you?"

"Faith's a slayer, and you were, are close, and no matter what she did you'd always watch out for her. Because you couldn't not want to help her. Some things just go deep."

"No matter what. Just like I'd do for you. You and Faith are both really important to me. Equally important. I'd never leave either of you out of anything."

"You mean you'd stab me in the gut if I went temporarily crazy too?"

"Anything for you, Will."

Willow smirked. "Faith is still -"

"A sore spot. I get it. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think I would ever ditch you, or not know how you feel. I'll always be your friend. And I wanted to try and help you understand why me and Faith…well, I know I sounded a little nutso, but did you understand at all?"

"I just need to think."

"Then I'll shut up, and let you deal. I'm going to the dorm. Wanna come?"

"I think I'll stick around a little longer."

"Okay. Be careful coming back."

"I will."

***

Faith had thought about what Spike said for about two seconds. It had gotten to her, though. She knew she had a dark side, and that wasn't something she could help. Part of her bought into what he was said, because it was much easier to hate then to work for friendship. Her problem had been misdirecting her hate towards the wrong things.

Then she remembered how her last fling with evil had turned out, and she remembered what he was. If Buffy or the gang were going to turn on her, she'd know. Not some impotent British vampire with a Billy Idol complex. After he left the Bronze, things had become clear. She was never one to take her time thinking things over. She decided to tail him to the crypt.

She entered a few minutes after he did, and he sensed her immediately.

"Took my words to heart, did you?"

"Absolutely."

"How'd you find me?"

"Undead Yellow Pages. Damn, there are a lot of Dracula's in there."

"Slayers. Always punnin'. So tell Ol' Spike what he can do for you."

"Well, I've been thinking about what you said. And you're right. I tend to enjoy sex, and killing comes easily."

"As it should, luv."

"Whatever. Anyway, what they don't tell you is how bad it feels afterwards. Killing comes easy, and pain comes even easier. That's all I felt when I went after people. But I kept telling myself, the approval, the praise, for doin' it was worth it. But it really wasn't."

"How come I don't like where this going?"

"So, in weighing my choices, go all rogue again, hurt them before they have a chance to hurt me, I remembered what you said before."

"Before?"

"I looked a little different then, so I'll give you a sec to think. I make decisions pretty quickly."

She walked down the steps. Spike backed away. "Shi…" He whispered.

"Got it yet? Good. So there I was, and you were getting piss drunk and practically begging for attention. Cause you can't do anything anymore. Can't feed, kill, you're probably an outcast to all your demon pals too." She stepped closer. "But my revelation, you'll love this."

"I'm sure."

"Defanged vamp with a hatred for Buffy tries to get me to turn on her. Make me think she'll turn on me. I'm not the brightest person in the world, but I put it together. You want me to kill Buffy for you. Am I right?"

"More or less, yeah."

"Kill Buffy for you…kill Buffy for you…huh. Don't think so. She's been nothing but good to me."

"That's fine. What's that term? 'My bad?' Shouldn't have brought it up."

"I'm not finished yet." Spike didn't like the look in her eye. "You want to see my dark side, Billy? Cause you tried to use me. I hate being used. I really…really…hate it."

She backed him against the wall. "Sorry?"

"Wanna know what the difference is between killing a human and a demon is? There's no pain afterwards. Only intense satisfaction. Almost as good as sex. And you're right. Holding back would be unhealthy."

That's when she punched him. Hard in the face. Really hard. He dropped immediately, and she sat over top of him, hitting his face repeatedly.

"NO." Punch. "BODY." Punch. "USES." Punch. "ME." Punch. She stopped when she drew blood, and stood up. "You got that? I've got it too good. I know Buffy wants me around, and I'm not gonna let asshole losers like you start screwing me over.

"If you ever try it again, I'll get more creative. If I ever see you coming near…I'll kill you. Got it?"

His coughing up of his own blood was his only response, and she ran from the crypt.

***

Buffy was disturbed from her cramming attempts by loud banging on the door of her and Willow's dorm room. She got off the bed quickly, and opened it. Faith ran in quickly, falling on the bed.

"Faith? What happened?"

"You…you'd be honest with me if I asked you a question, right?

"Yeah. I would."

"Do you think I'd hurt you? I mean…"

Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed, and shook her head. "No." Faith sighed out of relief. "Is that…"

"Blood? Yeah. Let's just say that William the Bloody's name really fits him now."

"You beat up Spike?"

"He had it coming."

"No argument here. If you hadn't, I probably would have. But why?"

"He was trying to mess with my head. I didn't like it." She was holding it in. Everything.

"He's good at that. You can…you know." Faith shook her head. Buffy had suddenly felt a need to see what she did. She had never seen the results of what she did to her fellow slayer. "I hurt you though."

"You got the job done. We covered this. Hatchet buried, B."

"Can I -" Faith knew what she was talking about. She lifted her tanktop up a little, and a faint scar was on her stomach. "God, it's still…"

"It's almost gone."

Unlike Faith, Buffy had no problem letting tears fall. When she did, Faith wasn't sure what to do. Comforting wasn't her area of expertise. Buffy did it for her, and rested her head on Faith's shoulder.

"All right," Buffy said through tears, "mutual decision, mutual promise, right now. We'll never hurt each other again." She wiped her eyes. "Willingly. Now possession, magick, and other supernatural things…well…"

"Promise."

Faith saw Willow slowly enter the room.

***

Willow came into the room, and saw the two slayers having a moment. She caught Faith's eyes, and expected to see a look that said, 'I won this round. Better luck next time.' But she didn't see that all.

Faith's eyes were asking her to come in. To help. They were unsure. Confused. Willow shut the door, and made her way over to where they sat.

Where Buffy sat, and where a person she was starting to like, possibly even in a 'friend way', sat as well.