Fic: "Starlight", Part Six

["jbstories _" <jbstories@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Part Six
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Willow glanced up from the cards in her hand and cast a furtive glance in
Buffy's direction. Only the light of a candle, creating a rather intimate
atmosphere that both girls found comforting, lighted the room. It was well
past midnight. Willow was spending the night again, this time the question
didn't even need to be asked, it just seemed like some inexorable fact that
Willow would remain. As Buffy raised her eyes towards Willow, Willow
averted her eyes from Buffy. It was a game that had been going on all
night, a sort of demented version of peek-a-boo. It actually interested the
two girls far more than the card game they were playing did. There was
something faintly erotic about it, about the fact that both of them were
secretly wishing to get caught. It charged the air with something
indiscernible, yet without doubt appealing.

"Did you find it?" Buffy asked keeping her gaze focused on Willow who looked
up sharply at the sound of her voice. They had been sitting in a
comfortable silence for quite some time and she didn't want to disturb it,
yet this question had to be asked, this conversation had to be had. The
longer she held it back the worse the feeling in her stomach got, and quite
frankly she was in bad enough shape without adding an ulcer to the line-up.

"What?" Willow asked. "The jelly-beans? Cause if you mean the jellybeans,
Giles ate them all. He'll tell you that he didn't, but he did."

"The demon actually…but I was wondering about the jellybeans," Buffy
replied.

"Yeah," Willow said brightening immediately. This caused a smile to grace
her lips that sent Buffy's heart beating wildly, beating so fast in fact
that she was sure it was about to beat out of her chest. "Well, not 'found'
exactly, but we know what it is," Willow continued. She was secretly glad
that Buffy had asked. The Slayers lack of interest in the proceedings had
been beginning to worry her. It wasn't like Buffy to just sit back and not
take an active interest. It went against her nature.

"Which is?" Buffy asked interrupting Willow's thoughts. She was referring
to the demon.

"A Scheaklaer. They're a really old race, really, really old, which means
they're survivors which isn't so good. But, what is good, at least for us,
is that they need a lot of salt to survive so the places they can hide out
are narrowed down considerably."

Buffy nodded along with Willow as she spoke, but she didn't respond right
away. Her eyes were unfocused and Willow could tell that she was beyond
lost in thought. Willow frowned. This was considerably less than the
enthusiastic response she had been anticipating. Buffy should've been
happy, they were that much closer to getting her the use of her legs back,
but instead she seemed even more depressed than before. Willow was about to
comment when Buffy spoke.

"I've been thinking," Buffy said carefully. "Maybe…maybe going after this
thing isn't such a great idea," she continued bluntly. There was really no
way to approach the subject delicately.

"What?!"

"I said, 'maybe going after this thing isn't such a great…"

"I got that. That wasn't really an 'I didn't hear you' what. It was more
of a 'have you lost your mind' what," Willow interjected. "How can you say
that this isn't a good idea? This thing is your best chance at getting the
use of your legs back."

"No," Buffy disagreed. "This thing is a fat chance at getting my legs back
and a excellent chance at you, Giles and Xander becoming a fiesta platter.
That's what this demon is," Buffy continued raising her eyes to meet
Willows.

"You don't trust us," Willow said softly, her eyes piercing Buffy to her
very core. "You don't trust us to help you," Willow continued in a steady
yet unmistakably hurt tone.

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's what I trust to happen," Buffy
replied.

"No, not what you trust to happen…what you fear will happen," Willow
responded, a kind of understanding creeping into her voice as she tried to
work her mind around the thoughts racing around inside of her head. "But
that's all it is, Buff. A fear."

"That's all it is?" Buffy asked incredulously. If she could have stood up
to punctuate the incredulity of the statement she would have, but for now
all she could do was sound as disbelieving as humanly possible. "Look at
me, you look at me and then tell me that fear is all it is! It's not fear
that put me in this chair…it was that thing, it was one of those things that
I'm built to fight and that used as a rag doll. No, Will, fear isn't all it
is…truth is what it is, the ugly, naked truth is what it is," Buffy finished
shaking her head miserably.

"So we're just supposed to forget about the fact that this demon could cure
you? We're just supposed to shrug our shoulders and say 'oh well, maybe
next time' because there's a chance that we could be hurt?" Willow asked
standing up and looking down at Buffy. The Slayer refused to meet her eyes.
"Maybe we should just forget about it," Willow said softly a moment later
when Buffy offered no response. "We can't help you if you don't want to be
helped. We can't force you to care."

Buffy looked up at Willow when the hacker said this, her eyes shimmering
with unshed tears.

"You think that this fun for me? Do you? Do you think that I like being
trapped in this chair, not being able to do my duty or protect my friends?
I don't want to be here, and I don't not want to be helped," Buffy
responded. "I'll tell you one thing that I don't want though. I don't want
to sacrifice you for a theory."

"Buffy you risk your life everyday to save us and people you don't even
know. Is it so hard for you to comprehend that we're willing to do the
same? That we'd risk it all to save someone we love?"

"I don't want you hurt," Buffy said softly.

"And I don't want you hurt," Willow responded. "But you are, and I want a
part in making that go away."

Buffy was silent for a moment.

"There's got to be another way," she said finally, her voice carrying a note
of desperation.

"What way?" Willow asked wanting to believe that there was, but not seeing
one. She had given the subject serious thought and had come up empty
handed.

"The Council," Buffy responded already mentally crossing it off her list the
moment it left her mouth. She knew that wasn't even an option but it was
the only thing she could think of.

"I know you don't believe that. They're not terribly impressed with you
right now as it is…what with the quitting and all. Besides…you know what
they do to crippled Slayers."

Buffy lowered her head. It was clear that the 'there had to be other
options' approach was dead end, so she decided to switch tactics.

"You don't understand," the Slayer said finally. "When I think about
something happening to you it makes me physically ill," she continued.
"Don't you see…even if you went after the demon, and you found a cure but
you didn't come back, it wouldn't matter, it wouldn't matter at all because
I'd die anyway. Without you I'd die."

Willow looked at her with eyes made iridescent by unshed tears.

"And you don't understand that I feel exactly the same way. I can't lose
you," Willow responded her tone taking on the same distressed leaning as
Buffy's. "And you know that this isn't just about your legs, it's about
your life. With Faith…otherwise disposed, not to mention crazy, and
you…currently out of operation the world is without a Slayer. The
Council…Giles warned us…you know they'll come for you if they find out.
Buffy, we have to do this…your life is at risk," Willow finished not even
wanting to continue thinking along those lines.

They stared at each other once Willow fell silent, both fighting back a
waterfall of tears and the outraged cries of their souls. Buffy buried her
face in her hands. Never in her life had she felt so utterly helpless.
Impotence, she realized, was not a feeling that she cared for at all.

"You want to know something?" the Slayer asked looking up a second later.
"The only thing that I want in the entire world right now is to hug you.
That's all I want… and I can't even do that," Buffy said sad smile. "Aren't
I amazing pathetic?"

Willow got up and walked over to where Buffy sat. She reached out her hand
to Buffy and the Slayer grasped it. After debating internally for a moment
Buffy took Willow's hand and placed it on her cheek holding it there for a
moment. Suddenly, Buffy felt an overwhelming need to be closer to her
friend-and not just for the first or hundredth time she cursed her injury.
Then, she did the only thing she could do; she pulled Willow down onto her
lap.

"Buffy, your legs," Willow protested, albeit weakly.

"I can't feel it," Buffy said to put aside Willow's fears. "I do feel like
your sugar-daddy though."

Willow smiled at that, but still felt the need to ask.

"Buffy are you sure? …I don't want to hurt you…"

"Will…stop," Buffy said shushing her gently as she stroked her hand. "This
is the best I've been in two days. Relax."

A few moments later Buffy felt Willow relax slightly in her lap. The
rigid-ness that had existed in her friends body a few seconds before and
Willow slumped against her. They were silent, and Buffy considered the
appropriateness of resting her head against Willows shoulder. After
deciding that it was completely inappropriate she did it anyway. After all
pulling Willow onto her lap hadn't been the most respectable thing to do,
but she had done it anyway. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing
well, so Buffy decided to do as she wanted.

The Slayer felt Willow shift slightly once her head was on her shoulder and
she knew that Willow was looking down at her. Then the most unexpected
thing happened. Buffy felt a pair of soft lips press against the crown of
her head. Then as soon as she felt the gentle touch it was gone, and Buffy
felt cold, like the sun had burned out leaving her in the dark.

"It'll be alright," Willow said softly wrapping her arm around Buffy
shoulder and bringing them closer together. Willow felt as if she should
pull away, especially after the kiss, but she just couldn't bring herself to
do it.

"I believe," Buffy responded in a reverent tone.

Willow didn't respond in words, instead she rested her head against Buffy's
that was still nestled in her shoulder and let out a soft, contented sigh.

Somewhere in the world someone was dying of starvation, someone was getting
to a car crash, someone was giving birth, someone was winning the lottery.
Someone was getting shot, someone was sneaking home, someone was leaving
home. But none of this occurred to Buffy or Willow as they sat there,
wrapped together. It didn't even occur to them that it wasn't occurring to
them. At that moment, at that time, the world where all of those things
were happening didn't exist to them. In fact nothing outside of their
candle lit room, their fortress of solitude, their intimate hide-a-way
existed. And in that room, everything was perfect. The world was perfect
and life was perfect. In that room was perfection.

================================================================

Buffy found herself in some kind of underground cave. In front of her was a
small body of water. Sparkling, clear water. It was absolutely beautiful.
Turning her gaze from the pool she tilted her head upwards. There was a
vertical tunnel above her that led to an opening sunlight was pouring
through. She realized where she was. She was in an underground well. Once
when researching a project on Mexico she had read about them and had always
wanted to visit one. Even in the books they had looked magnificent.

She wondered what she was doing there, and she probably would have wondered
for a few more moments if a she hadn't been distracted by the sweet sounds
of laughing. It was lilting, playful, and melodic. I called to her and she
found herself moving towards where she assumed the source of it to be.

> > From where she was standing she could only see half of the pool, there was a
sheet of rock that extended out blocking the rest of it from her view. She
knew instinctively that the sound-that familiar sound-was coming from the
side of the pool she couldn't see.

Quietly she removed her clothes and slipped noiselessly into the water and
began to swim around. Almost the instant she passed the wall of rock she
was shocked into inaction. At the other end of the pool was another figure.
A girl. A girl equally as naked as herself with her back turned towards
the Slayer. The other girl had pale, porcelain skin and red-hair just
reaching her shoulder. She was a Siren, come out of Greek mythology to
tempt Buffy, and Buffy was tempted.

As Buffy decided to proceed forward the Siren turned around.

Willow.

Buffy smiled, she knew it. She knew it was Willow.

Willow returned the smile.

They swam towards each other.

"You're looking better," Siren Willow commented coming to a stop just in
front of Buffy.

"Yeah, the dreamscape is an amazing thing," Buffy responded. "Last night I
was Wonder Woman…and trust me I found some better uses for the lasso."

Siren Willow smiled. It was a sexy, entrancing smile.

Buffy moved imperceptivity closer.

"I've been waiting for you," Siren Willow said allowing Buffy to move closer
to her until they were touching.

"I've been waiting for you," Buffy responded looking deeply into Willow's
eyes. "There's so much I've wanted to tell you, but…"

"You've been afraid," Willow finished for her, reaching a wet hand up to
place it on Buffy's face. "Don't be afraid," she continued leaning in.

"There's so much I want to…" Buffy started but once again Willow stopped
her.

"This isn't the place," was all the Siren said.

"But…"

"No," she said again. "This."

With that she closed the remaining distance between them and brought her
lips to Buffy's, kissing her softly, chastely. Buffy whimpered at the
contact and drew her arm around Willow's waist holding her tightly against
her.

"That's right," Willow said sighing, encouraging Buffy to continue with what
she was doing. "This."

"This," Buffy repeated, then she lowered her lips to Willow's neck sucking
on the skin there, nipping gently.

Under and above the water her hands roamed over Willow's body and her lips
traversed the entire landscape of the masterpiece that was Willow Rosenberg.
They spent an eternity exploring each others mouths, learning each others
bodies inch by inch, kissing, licking, touching. Their bodies coming
together and separating in a dance as old as time. Coming together, and
separating, rising and falling into each until they come together one last
earth-shattering, soul-searing time.

Buffy's eyes popped open.

Willow's eyes popped open.

Their faces were directly beside each other, there limbs tangled together
and the sheets in disarray. There wasn't enough space between their bodies
to fit a piece of paper.

They stared at each other, both of them breathing heavily and eyeing the
other terrified and excited at the same time, wondering if the other could
possibly have any idea what had just gone on in their heads.

"Morning?" Buffy said her voice cracking and rising halfway through.

"It is," Willow said her pupils not completely back to their normal size,
and her breathing still laboured.

"You look flushed," Buffy said willing herself not to take note of her own
bodies reactions. "Bad dream?"

"No…I mean yes!" Willow responded. "Very bad…hand on a hook bad."

"Yeah, that's pretty bad," Buffy, agreed. "Clown with a big knife for me,"
she volunteered before Willow could even ask.

"Scary," the hacker agreed.

"Yep, I thought so…obviously," Buffy, responded more for the sake of saying
something. She didn't really want to think at the moment.

"Right," Willow responded, her motives the same as Buffy's.

"So…"

"So…"

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah! …I mean I could eat…food! I could eat food," Willow responded.

"Well, you're in luck. Food is on the menu," Buffy responded managing to
sit up after struggling a bit. "You're just going to have to reach the high
shelves," she joked as she used her arms to place her legs over the edge of
the bed so she could lift herself into the chair.

"I always had to anyway," Willow responded climbing out of her side of the
bed.

"Was that a short joke?" Buffy asked looking up sharply though her eyes
twinkled.

"Who's joking?" Willow asked.

"I'm going to run over your toes for that," Buffy responded aiming the
wheels of the chair at her friend.

Willow mock shivered, but then carefully moved around the Slayer from a safe
distance. They headed into the kitchen after that and proceeded to make
breakfast-graciously deciding to at least leave one scone for Giles-both
thankful for the distraction though they knew inevitably they'd have to
think about the dream. But hey, they're teenagers. Procrastinating is in
their nature.
===============================================================

Hope you enjoyed, that's it for now, but more's on the way :)

Later,
Janine
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