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Title: The Rocky Road Chapter
10: Confession is Good for the Soul (11/?)
Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx) Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Summary: Fourth in the Road Series Spoilers: Everything is fair game. Distribution: Pat Kelly, Rodrigo, Gary Thompson, Syrenslure and Serendipity. Anyone else, e-mail me please. Author's Notes: I hate complaining but I’m starving for feedback. FEED ME! Thoughts are enclosed in < > Flashback are enclosed in <<<< >>>> ------------ ‘I woke today, felt your side
of bed,’
It was raining. Not one of those stomp in the puddles and romp with your friends rain. More like that angry torrential the world needs to be cleansed rain. Buffy and Willow came slamming through the door of Giles’ apartment with a very wet and cranky vampire in tow. They were soaked right through to the skin and Giles shifted into action. He handed them towels and sent them upstairs to change into the clothes they’d brought just in case. Spike stayed downstairs and changed in the bathroom. The apartment was quiet for all of five minutes then there was a knock on the door. Giles went to answer it. “Angel” He stated unnecessarily. He nodded. “Giles.” ”Come in, come in. I see you faired better than the others did.” ”Umbrellas. Yes, Giles, we’ve leapt into the twenty first century. Not that it’s done anything for my hair mind you.” Cordelia took her coat off and shook it out. Giles turned. “Yes, and it’s always a pleasure to see you too, Cordelia.” He nodded to Faith and Anya. “Um, Buffy and Willow are changing upstairs and Spike is in the bathroom. They seem to have gotten caught in the downpour.” He took a sip of tea. “Can I get you anything?” “Xander.” Anya demanded. “I want Xander now.” Giles looked a little shocked at her forcefulness. “Um, yes well, he’s right this way in the. . .” She pushed past him before he could finish. “. . .back bedroom.” He shook his head. “Nice to see some things never change.” Faith plopped herself unceremoniously on the couch. “Yo, G-man. Long time no Watch. How’s it hangin?” She grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on. Giles merely smiled at her. ---------- Willow froze suddenly. “What’s wrong Will?” Buffy had just finished putting on her sneaker. “Voices.” ”Okay. . .in your head or. . “ ”I’m serious Buffy. I hear voices downstairs and none of them belong to Giles, Spike or Xander.” Willow looked worried. Buffy thought for a moment then it hit her. “You don’t think? He wouldn’t. Giles wouldn’t call Angel here, not unless. . .” She trailed of thinking about the last time they were all together. She was a vampire and Willow was the Immortal Watcher. She felt a shiver go up her spine. Willow noticed how quiet she’d gotten. “I know, Buffy, I know. . .I remember it too.” She pulled the sweater over her head. “Come on. We should go down there.” Willow walked over to her and took her hand. She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “It’ll be alright. We can do this together.” Buffy shook off her thoughts. “I know Will. But if Angel is here then so is. . .” ”And it doesn’t matter if she is here. I’m with you and nothing is going to change that. Cordelia and I were a long time ago. Now come on before you worry yourself to death.” They held hands and walked towards the stairs together. -------------- Angel was sitting in the oversized chair with Cordelia on his lap. Faith was flipping through the channels and no one had seen Anya since she made a bee line for the back bedroom. Spike was still in the bathroom and Giles was trying to get Anya to unlock the door. Two sets of footsteps could be heard on the stairs and everyone got up and turned around to see Buffy and Willow come down the stairs hand in hand. No one moved and it seemed like no one breathed. Finally Spike came out of the bathroom and broke the silence. “Well looky here. It’s the old poof! Last time I saw you we were runnin around England together. How’s it goin old man?” He patted Angel on the back. “I’m good Spike. You look well.” “Ehh, well as can be expected.” He looked around the room at the others. “What the hell are all you ninny’s stand around here for? The boy’s awake and we need some answers. For pete’s sake, you’d think you’d never met each other before. Come on, let’s go. . .everyone shove off to Benedict Arnold’s deathbed.” Buffy shook her head and laughed. Leave it to Spike. ---------- Anya finally opened the door and they all filed in one by one. Giles didn’t say anything to her, he knew it wouldn’t do any good, but he did throw a stern look her way. Buffy sat on the floor in front of the dresser and Willow sat down in front of her. Faith moved to the bottom of the bed and Angel stood next to Cordelia who had taken a seat in the one chair available in the room. Giles stood in front of the door, Anya was on the bed next to Xander and Spike hopped up on the dresser next to where Buffy and Willow were. Anya removed the washcloth from Xander’s head and whispered something in his ear. After a few moments he opened his eyes and managed a weak smile. “Had I know this was gonna be a reunion I would have dressed for the occasion.” He whispered hoarsely. “You’re blonde. . .and you look like hell.” Cordelia couldn’t resist. “Way to state the obvious Queenie.” Faith commented. “I think it looks good on him.” Anya threw in. “As much as I’d love to go over the finer points of Xander’s transformation, I think we should start with the most obvious question. What the hell did you think you were doing?” Buffy spat out at him and tightened her grip around Willow’s waist. He flinched as if he was hit. “Well, depends on what part your talking about Buff. The part where I almost got myself killed last night, the part where I’ve been living with Drucilla for the past 2 years, how I got the crystal, how I’m involved in the prophesy. . .pick your poison.” Angel looked at Xander. “Crystal?” He then turned his gaze on Giles. “The mindset crystal?” Giles nodded his head. “Yes. It was given to him by a council member to, um. . “ “I know what it’s used for Giles. It’s dangerous. Do you have any idea how much damage can be done with that?” Angel knew the questions were rhetorical. Giles knew full well the power of the crystal. “He knows. He used it on Will and I.” Buffy said dryly. “I thought I was helping.” Xander whispered and closed his eyes. “Helping? You thought you were. . .by twisting our memories and making us forget every time we. . .five years Xander, you twisted and maimed five years of our life. You stole them from us and we can never get them back.” Buffy tried to fight back the tears but it was useless. Willow turned a little and put her arm around Buffy’s shoulder. Buffy buried her head in her sweater. Willow turned to look at Xander and all she could do is glare. She had no words for him. Not right now. Cordelia was still confused. “I still don’t get it. He used this crystal thingie to change your memories so you would forget stuff. What’s the big?” Giles cleared his throat. “I, um, don’t think that needs to be discussed right now. We need to focus on the prophesy and who attacked Xander last night.” Buffy looked up. “No, it’s alright Giles. They’re all going to find out sooner or later. May as well get it over with now.” She wiped the tears away. “It’s no secret that Willow and I are a couple. We have been since we were in England.” She took a deep breath. “I’ll tell them.” Willow finally spoke. “Buffy and I. . .well, we first got together as a couple a few months after Oz left when we were freshmen in college.” Buffy took Willow’s hand and squeezed it. “Xander met up with a council member on his cross country trip after high school graduation and he gave him the crystal. Xander was told that if it ever looked like we were going to be together, to use the crystal and erase our memories of it.” Faith shook her head. “Harsh.” Willow looked up at her. “Yeah, harsh is one word for it. So all through college we kept getting together and he kept erasing our memory of it.” Willow looked over at Cordelia. “The last time he did it was when I came here to visit him and Buffy from LA.” Willow waited for a reaction from Cordelia. Her face changed a little but she didn’t say anything. She continued. “We know all of this because Buffy and I were researching ESP and we came across his diary. He sent it to Giles last year.” She pulled the diary out of her backpack and tossed it on the bed. She looked Xander right in the eye. “Thought you might want that back.” She said flatly. He sighed. “Burn it for all I care.” “So you and B don’t remember anything?” Faith questioned. Buffy shook her head. “No. It’s all fuzzy. There are a few things we remember but they’re all just. . .” She shrugged for lack of words. “Disjointed. Like when you dream then you wake up. You remember parts of the dream but not the whole thing.” Willow added quietly. “There were at least five times we got together. We can’t remember any of them.” She dropped her eyes to hers and Buffy’s hands. “Nothing.” The room grew quiet as everyone absorbed what they’d just learned. Finally, Xander shifted in the bed and got their attention. Anya fussed over him and arranged the pillows. He gave her a grateful smile. “I got in over my head playing poker. Doesn’t matter where it was, I was in big time trouble. It was a bunch of mind reading demons at this little skank club – every town has them.” He swallowed as if every word hurt. “I lived in a little shack behind the club to work off my debt. One night I felt someone following me and it was Dru. She went into her usual wacky diatribe about the stars talking and that they were talking about me. That she needed my help to fulfill a prophesy about The Shadowman. Something about Liveside and Deadside being melded into one and I was the one to stop it.” Giles perked up at this. “The Shadowman. He walks the line between this world and the other, maintaining order and function where there’s never been any before.” He trailed off remembering the prophesy. “I knew it was coming but. . .I never would have guessed that you. . .” He approached the bed and leered at him. “All of this could have been avoided. All of it. Do you realize what you’ve done? You’ve helped that maniac set off a chain of events that not even we can stop! How could you have been so stupid!” He grabbed Xander by the shirt and Angel and Spike rushed to his side. “Giles.” Angel said. “Let him go. He’s no use to us dead.” ”Come on man. Let him finish. When we know what we need then you can mash him into a bloody pulp. But for now.” Spike put his hand on Giles’ forearm. Giles relented and tried to gain his composure. He silently went back to standing by the door. Again an eerie silence fell over the room. No one moved, and it seemed as if no one breathed. Finally Willow removed herself from Buffy and stood up. She straightened her sweater and shifted into her resolve face. Xander looked truly frightened as she approached. Willow sat on the edge of the bed and looked deep into his eyes. She placed one hand on his chest and the other on his wrist. Three, five, then ten minutes went by and they were locked in to each other, eye to eye. Sweat was forming on her brow and her body began to shake. Finally she broke eye contact, took a deep breath and curled up in Buffy’s arms again. She was exhausted. Buffy smoothed the hair back from her face. “You didn’t have to do that Will.” She looked up at Xander’s shocked _expression_. “He doesn’t deserve it.” “He can’t help us if he stays in bed all the time.” She whispered. Xander looked over at them with a confused _expression_. Buffy finally explained. “She healed you, you idiot. From how tired she is, she probably fixed your broken bones and internal injuries.” Buffy looked down at Willow again and her voice softened. “I didn’t think you could still do that.” ”Neither did I.” She replied. Xander began to move. He sat up against the headboard and noticed that while he was still sore, the shooting pain was gone. He thought about thanking her, but knew that nothing he said would make a difference now. They hated him. He saw it in Willow’s eyes. There was nothing he could do but continue with the story. “That’s all I know about the prophesy. The council member I ran into in my travels told me I was destined for great things. That everything I was doing was for the greater good and survival of the world. Dru said as much too – but made the words rhyme.” Xander took a sip of water from the glass Anya handed him. “I spent 2 years with her in New Orleans under St’ Anne’s church.” “Sewers. Who’d a thought I’d wind up living in the sewers.” He looked around at everyone in the room and spoke to no one in particular. “She. . .she took care of me. Made me feel useful. She needed me. Every week or so she. . .she fed off of me. That’s what the scars on my back are from. It’s like. . .like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Like a transference of power from her to me and back again. I told her that I’d send for her when things settled down here but she didn’t listen. She came waltzing out of the darkness last night just like the first night we met. I took her to the mansion – it had been over 2 weeks since she’d last fed. The power, the connection we feel – it’s intoxicating. Before I knew it I was grabbed and thrown up against a wall and someone was going to town on my head with a tire iron. Dru screamed for me but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t save her. They put her in a burlap sack and carried her away, just like that. I guess that’s when Spike found me and brought me back here.” He swallowed and turned to Giles. “We have to save her.” He shook his head. “We have to do no such thing. She’s done enough damage.” Xander’s voice took on a pleading tone. “You owe me nothing. I know that, but Giles, when I think about what they could be doing to her – I can almost feel it. We’re connected. The ceremony is almost finished. Two maybe three more feedings and the prophesy was to come true.” Giles continued to shake his head no. Xander stood up and faced him. “Don’t you understand what I’m saying? If we don’t find her, if we can’t see this thing through, all hell is going to break loose, literally.” “He’s right, Giles.” Angel finally spoke up. “If the ceremony isn’t completed then the walls between this world and the other will be torn down and a temporal fold will occur. Both worlds will mix and believe me, the human population of earth is nothing compared to that of the demon world. I brought some of my books. We can go over the finer details later.” Xander grabbed his head in pain. Anya jumped to his side and held him steady. Finally he calmed down and spoke softly. “They’re torturing her. I can feel her screaming for me.” He shook off the images that flooded his mind and looked at Giles again. “This is the bottom line. If we don’t find her in time I die.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’m not a vampire but – I have fed off of her. Her blood is in me. If they kill her or if she doesn’t feed again in time *I die*, that temper fold thing fang boy talked about rips open and you’ll all be living in demondale instead of Sunnydale. It’s that simple.” He climbed back into bed, pulled up the covers and closed his eyes. ---------------
~~Kimber --
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Buffy: Mm-hmm. Post-midterm frenzy. And the holiday. Everyone's going home. Willow: It looks like a lot of lucky moms are
gonna be getting brimming baskets of dirty laundry.
Willow: Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world. Buffy: You know what? I should have my own thanksgiving. I can cook the meal, just like my mom does, Have all you guys over. It'll be great. Willow: Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death. Buffy: It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham. Willow: You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one. Buffy: I know... But I want it. It's like professor Walsh was saying about sense memory. I smell a roasting turkey, and I'm 8 years old. I liked having that to look forward to. Everything's different now. Willow: Well, I suppose there could be slight yams. Buffy: I mean, we could definitely use a little comfort food. I bet giles doesn't have any plans. And Xander always tries to avoid all of his family gatherings. Willow: Ooh. We could not invite Anya. Buffy: I don't know. She and Xander seem pretty tight lately. Look, pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of thanksgiving-- Everybody has a place to go? Willow: Grumble, grumble. ----------------------
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