Fic: "Thinking, Deciding, Opening" PG

Title: "Thinking, Deciding, Opening"

Author: Quindo Ma

Pairing: Buffy - Willow

Rating: PG

Story copyright: April 18th 2000

Feedback: All I can get... and the more I get the more I enjoy writing and the more I'll write and the more you can enjoy (or not) and... *goofy grin* hehe...

Spoilers: none except that Buffy and Willow live together in a dorm room.

Distribution: Well all those that I really like for one reason or the other can do it without any permission of me:

Pat Kelly cause he inspired me to start writing (without even knowing it then *G*), Pinkrabbit just because they have a great archive

and other small things that I really enjoy. Kimber cause I really like her archive too and the stories she writes and because she told

me where I could get those small siglets that are on the end of this text. All other's just ask me and tell me where you wanna put it.

Disclaimer: All the characters, Buffy, Willow, Giles, Xander, etc. Belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Inc., and Warner Bros. I’m just borrowing their brilliant creations. I intend no copyright infringement from my use of their characters, and will receive no monetary or any other compensation for their use, in any form, of the story that succeeds. The Story although is mine. Nothing more, nothing less.

Note : Ok, this is my second attempt to write a fic for B/W and... well I wrote this during my writing for my fic "A connected Love" but the things I write here couldn’t be fitted in there anymore. So I decided to write a short fic that is actually only about how Buffy opens her feelings for Willow. Maybe I’ll write sort of a sequel for it or fit into a future story of mine but probably this story will stay a short stand-alone. I have been inspired to write this after a few times that I heard the new song from Spice Girl Mel-C "Never be the same again"

Additional disclaimer:

The song and it’s contents belong to:

Writers: Melanie Chisholm/Richard Stannard/Julian Gallagher

Publishers: EMI Music Publishing Ltd/ Universal Music Publishing Ltd

That’s all I know about this song.

No copyright infringement intended.

Thinking, Deciding, Opening:

Buffy was wandering through the surroundings of the college. She was scared about what she had just found out. Well not actually found out but finally let happen. It all started yesterday, during the lunch she used to share with her best friend, Willow. It was then that she finally let the damn, that held her feelings, her emotions, her new way of thinking about her best friend, break. She couldn’t stand it anymore. She finally had to admit what she had tried to hide from herself, tried to distance herself from. She had finally let the love she felt go its own way. Let it flow through her body and warm her from inside. She let herself feel the tingly feeling that she always knew was there but had tried to block it out. Always when she was near Willow... Willow, her best friend Willow. It has changed and she knew that she had to do something about it. That was the reason why she was out now. She tried to avoid Willow, although she knew that she hurt her by doing that. But she had to think this over. She passed one of the clubhouses on the campus and heard the party inside. She listened to the music and smiled a shy smile as she heard the song that was being played inside.

I thought that we would just be friends

Things will never be the same again

Its just the beginning its not the end

Things will never be the same again

She thought about what she heard. She knew that things had changed and she knew that she had to do something about it. And she had to do it soon or whatever she had or hoped that she could have with Willow would be over. Her friendship first of all.

She kept on walking and after about a half an hour, 3 dusted vamps and a lot of thinking she had made her decision. A decision that would, whatever followed, would change her life forever. She changed the direction and headed to the next seven-eleven that she could find. She passed a few stores that were long left behind, either because the owners have become a snack for the vamps or because they had finally found out that this place was more dangerous than most of the bigger cities, like LA. In one of them she found a small sign that she read carefully and it only helped to make her more confident about what she planned to do.

You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back.

She soon arrived at the wanted location and went inside and headed for the CD-section. It didn’t take long and she had found what she had been looking for. She took it off the shelf and went to the check-out. She paid for the CD and then headed back to the dorm.

It didn’t surprise her that Willow didn’t sleep yet. She tried although to look as though she did. That didn’t surprise Buffy either. She knew that Willow had been worrying about her and that she didn’t want to let Buffy know that ‘cause she thought Buffy would worry if she was still up at that time. So Willow decided to play ‘sleeping-beauty’. Normally Buffy would join the game and play ‘unknowing-girlfriend’ and would just lie into bed and sleep. She knew Willow would stay awake until Buffy had fallen into a hopefully dreamless night. But not tonight. Tonight she had to talk to her. Talk to her about how she felt. Buffy knew that she would probably not have the strength to say that in words so she decided to buy that CD and let that do most of the work.

"You can get up Willow. I know that you aren’t sleeping. And we need to talk. Well actually I have to talk."

Willow opened her eyes and moved so that she faced Buffy.

"You knew that I was awake." She said that more as a statement than a question.

"Yes."

"Ok. So what is so important that you have to talk to me about it now?" Willow’s face showing that hope giving and almost loving smile that always had let Buffy’s heart jump.

"About... about... I have to talk about us..you..me, about me and us in the main part."

"Us? What do you mean?"

"Well I think for this I have bought this." She said that holding up the CD she had just bought.

Willow took a closer look and then finally recognized the name.

"Melanie C? What does she have to do with us?"

Buffy placed the CD in the stereo system and turned it on.

"Just listen. Please. And... and listen to what I have to say." ’At least in those parts I can say anything at all.’ she added mentally.

The song started to play...

Ooh, yeah

Never be the same again

I call you up whenever things go wrong

You’re always there

You are my shoulder to cry on

I can’t believe it took me quite so long

To take the forbidden step

Is this something that I might regret?

(Come on, on)

Nothing ventured nothing gained

(You are the one)

A lonely heart that cant be tamed

(Come on, come on)

I’m hoping that you feel the same

This is something that I can’t forget

Buffy stopped the song by tipping the pause button. "This is what we have had until now." Willow started to say something but Buffy held up her hand and stopped anything that would have come from her. "Please just listen, ok?" Willow nodded. Then she let the song play on.

I thought that we would just be friends

Things will never be the same again

Its just the beginning its not the end

Things will never be the same again

It’s not a secret anymore

Now we’ve opened up the door

Starting tonight and from now on

We’ll never, never be the same again

Never be the same again

Now I know that we were close before

I’m glad I realized I need you so much more

And I don’t care what everyone will say

It’s about you and me

And we’ll never be the same again

Buffy started to breathe quite heavy. She tried to concentrate on what she planned to say.

I thought that we would just be friends (oh yeah)

Things will never be the same again (Never be the same again)

Its just the beginning its not the end (We’ve only just begun)

Things will never be the same again

It’s not a secret anymore

Now we’ve opened up the door (Opened up the door)

Starting tonight and from now on

We’ll never, never be the same again

Never be the same again

The rap part of the song started and Buffy took her last breath before she wanted to start. And then she just let the air flow out of her lungs, unable to say what was so important for her.

Night and day

Black beach sand to red clay

The US to UK

NYC to LA

From sidewalks to highways

See it’ll never be the same

What I’m sayin

My mind frame never changed ‘til you came rearranged

But sometimes it seems completely forbidden

To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden

Where there’s no competition

And you render my condition

Though improbable it’s not impossible

For a love that could be unstoppable

But wait. A fine lines between fate and destiny

Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?

When you tell me the stories of your quest for me

Picturesque is the picture you paint effortlessly

And as our energies mix and begin to multiply

Everyday situations, they start to simplify

So things will never be the same between you and I

We intertwined our life forces and now were unified

The singing part stared again and Buffy took all her courage together and started to speak.

I thought that we would just be friends

Things will never be the same again

Its just the beginning its not the end

Things will never be the same again

"Willow I love you." ‘Ok, now it’s out. Now I can lean back and wait until she either runs screaming out of the door or accepts it.’

It’s not a secret anymore

Now we’ve opened up the door

Starting tonight and from now on

We’ll never, never be the same again (Come on, come on)

Things will never be the same again (You are the one)

Willow just lied on her bed, trying to figure out what Buffy had meant. She knew that Buffy loved her but she had always thought that it was in friendship kind of way.

Never be the same again

It’s not a secret any more

We’ll never be the same again

It’s not a secret any more

We’ll never be the same again

Never be the same again

Never be the same again

Never be the same again

Never be the same again

The song stopped and it was a few very long moments absolutely quiet in the room. Willow tried to figure out why Buffy would do it this way if this whole thing was just friendship-love.

"You mean the love-love and not the friendship-love, right?"

Again a few long moments passed before Buffy answered.

"Yes, I do."

She saw Willow starting to smile. She wasn’t sure if she would break out into a loud laugher in a few seconds, if she smiled because she liked the thought of being loved by her best friend, or if she smiled because of the ONE big reason that Buffy hoped so much. And then she got her answer.

"I know that you may have not thought that this would happen. I know that you may have hoped that this wouldn’t happen, because it would in some way save you from a few duties you would have to do then. And I know that it is the part, that tries to think rationally, that does that. But I know you too good Buffy Summers to not know what you want to hear. And because you can’t hide that part from me and because I don’t really think that I can hide it from you I’ll just tell you what I feel."

Buffy’s heart started to jump in her chest. She didn’t know if it was because of excitement or because she was scared about what she would hear now. But what she knew was that whatever would happen now, their friendship would stay.

"I love you too Buffy. From the center of my heart from the center of my soul and from the very edges of my brain I know that I love you."

It was that one answer that Buffy had hoped. It was that thing that Willow had said that was the best thing in the world that could happen to Buffy. She moved her body to Willow’s bed and sat down. Her best friend sat up and they met half the way. They sat there eyes fixed on each other looking into the very edges of the others soul. Into the heart that could... would give them what they needed. They closed the last few inches between their lips and kissed. A kiss that lasted for eternity. A kiss that brought all together: past, future and the present. All met in that one kiss and it really changed in that moment. Everything changed. Forever. And it was a good change. It was a change that let them share their lives together. The rest of their lives. They had found a love that was by no means a matter of course. A love that they would share the rest of what fate left them in their lives. And both hoped that it would be a long life. Because they had a lot of love to give and many desires that had to be fulfilled by the other.

Buffy broke the kiss and smiled. She stood up went back to the stereo system and pushed onto ‘play’ and ‘repeat all’ and then smiled at Willow.

"May I have this dance?"

Willow accepted Buffy’s hand and stood up to share the first dance with her newfound lover.

And the song started to play again...

Ooh, yeah

Never be the same again

The end