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Title: The Rocky Road Chapter 14: Two Roads Diverged. . . (15/?)



Title:  The Rocky Road Chapter 14:  Two Roads Diverged. . . (15/?)
Author:  Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
Disclaimer:  All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary:  Fourth in the Road Series
Spoilers:  Everything is fair game.
Distribution:  Pat Kelly, Rodrigo, Gary Thompson, Syrenslure and Serendipity.  Anyone else, e-mail me please.
Author's Notes:  I hate complaining but Im starving for feedback.  FEED ME!
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How could I stay?
How could I breathe?
There had to be more for me
Promises gone
Plastic and stone
Im doing fine all alone
So your having a breakdown
So your losing the fight
So your having a breakdown
And Im driving and crying
Unraveled and flying
Im coming to your breakdown tonight
I cannot run and I cannot hide
It came with me locked inside
The bough will break
The cradle will fall
It only takes one call
So your having a breakdown
So your losing the fight
So your having a breakdown
And Im driving and crying
Unraveled and flying
Im coming to your breakdown tonight
Breakdown by Melissa Etheridge
 

Willow had been lost in thought as they walked around town looking for Xander.  Finally she spoke up.  Buffy, as much as I was mad at Xander before, I think he really was trying to help.  Quentin tricked him into thinking hed be keeping me safe.

Buffy stopped and turned to  her.  Ive been thinking about that too, Will and I feel bad.  We really laid into him and if we find him. . 

When we find him.  Willow corrected.

When we find him, well explain everything that happened to us in England. . .and a Im never above a little groveling.

Look.  Angel pointed up ahead.  Two demons just went in.  Do you think?

Quentin and Ethan?  Buffy nodded.  I have no doubt.

Willow put her hand on Buffys shoulder.  Buffy, Quentin and Ethan are dead, remember?  Big explosion, sewers, oozy stuff?

No, Will.  While you were out with Angel, Giles told me that theyre the ones that beat Xander and took Drucilla.  Im sorry I didnt get the chance to tell you before.

Oh.  Willow looked at Buffy dumbstruck.

Will. . .as much as Id love to fill you in on everything, we really have to catch those guys.  And Xander. . .

I know, I know.  She took a few moments to gain her composure.  Okay, lets go.

Angel, you and Cordy take the side entrance.  Will and I can go in through the main gate.

-----------

And how do you feel?  Dru was gazing over the now transformed Xander.

Powerful. . .the power I feel its. . .intoxicating.  His features shifted slightly.  His skin now had a darker tone and looked worn like leather.  His muscles had taken on a more defined, rippled texture.  His hair suddenly grew out to the length of his shoulders and he grabbed a strand of it, twisting it between two calloused fingers.  He smiled.  Not much unlike Lestat in those vampire books.  Dont you think?

Dru smiled back at him.  The brat prince has nothing on you my pet.  She leaned in and kissed him seductively.  Soon she was tearing at his shirt, his pants. . .straddling him, seeking to dominate the situation.  She broke the kiss suddenly and her eyes rolled back in her head.  She dug her nails into his shoulders and let out a blood curdling scream.

Xander grabbed her arms and tried to break free.  It was no use, she was much too strong.  Soon he found her hands wrapped around his neck, and he now fought for air.  Just as soon as it started, it stopped, and he felt a weight lifted off of him.  He turned his head just in time to see Dru crash against the side of the mausoleum.  Dru!  He cried out, but he was held down by two cold hands on his shoulders.  He looked up.  Angel?!  What the hell?

Your down and youll stay down if you know whats good for you.  We know everything Xander.  Its over.

He shook his head.  You, you know nothing!   He grabbed Angels duster and switched their positions.  You dont know whats going to happen. . .you dont know what Ive been through dead-boy.  He punctuated the sentence with a right cross to Angels face.

The began rolling around on the ground, trading punches.  Xander gained the advantage from beneath Angel but before he could do anything, Dru grabbed Angel by the neck and lifted him off the ground.

Youve made me cranky daddy.  She threw him against the wall, knocking him out.

Drucilla and Xander slowly stalked around in a small circle, sizing each other up.  I dont want to hurt you Dru.  Xander said through clenched teeth.

Oh, the boy grows bold.  Come here boy, youve been naughty and mommy must take you over her knee.  She began to weave intricate patterns in the air.

Xander shook off the trance sensation he was beginning to feel from watching her.  Not gonna work Dru.  He lunged for her and they fell to the ground.

Drucilla gained the advantage and pinned him to the ground.  Game over.  She smiled down on him and slipped into game face.  Mommy wins, boy looses.  She clamped down on his neck.

He reached up for her head and twisted it to the right.  She let out a scream and fell over next to him.  Xander grabbed a stake from inside his jacket and drove it through her heart with such force that after the dust cleared, it remained lodged in the grass.  He rose to his feet and dusted himself off.  Thank you Mr. Pointy.  He looked down and noticed something laying on the ground next to the stake.  He reached over, picked it up, and chuckled silently to himself.  Looks like its off to the orphanage with you.  He took the doll between both of his hands and ripped her in half.  I never liked that damn doll to begin with.  He flung the pieces off into the distance.

The skies went pitch black and not a star could be seen.  A thick fog settled suddenly over the cemetery and a bright light broke through the door of the Alpert mausoleum.  As the fog cleared, Xander saw the silhouette of a man.  His eyes glowed with a bright blue light.  Xander rose to his feet and knew. . .the Shadowman had finally arrived.

Xander, no!  Giles called out from behind him.

Xander turned around to face the Watcher who had Faith and Anya at his side.  Angel had just come around and was making his way to Cordelias side.   He offered them a sad smile.  Yes, Giles.  Its the only way.

---------------

A right hook sent Buffy crashing against a tree.  She shook it off and went at the demon again.  Bastard!  A round house kick landed firmly against the side of the demons face and Buffy heard the crack of its jaw.  He stumbled to the ground and the slayer pounced on him immediately, taking his head between her hands and wrenching it to the left. Now this time, stay dead.

She looked up in time to see Willow fall, and the other demon grabbing her ankle to draw her closer to him.  She sprinted over and jumped on his back giving Willow enough time to scramble to her feet and begin a chant.

The demon reeled backwards and slammed the slayer into a nearby tree.  The impact would have broken any mere mortals spine, but this was the slayer, the immortal slayer and her soul mate was in trouble.  The impact was more of an annoyance than anything.

Willow raised her hands to the sky and thunder crashed around them.  A lightening bolt struck the tree, sending both Slayer and demon flying in opposite directions.  Willow ran over to Buffy.

Buffy!  Willow reached down to her.

Did I ever mention how glad I am that your on our side?  She smiled at the concern on the other girls face.  Im okay. . .a little winded but, good to go.  Buffy sat up and looked around.  Somethings not right Will. . .that was way too easy.

Willow looked off into the distance.  She could see a light about 100 feet away and it was growing larger.  Oh my God, Xander!

------------

The Shadowman stepped in next to Xander and put his hand on his shoulder.  Xander looked up at him and nodded then turned to his friends.  Buffy and Willow had just arrived.

Xander dont do this!  You dont understand!  Willow cried out to him.  She tried to go to him but was held back by Giles.

No, Will.  You dont understand.  His voice was calm and soothing.  All my life its been the same.  I had nothing to grab onto, nothing to call my own.  Youre a witch and a hacker, Buffy is the Slayer, Giles is her Watcher.  Even Angel served his purpose  vampire or not.  Cordy has a purpose now too and has for a long time.  Even Anya has a colorful resume with being an ex-vengeance demon.  He smiled at her.  What do I have?  What have I ever had?  Nothing.  I was donut guy or message boy. . .I never had any real purpose to our little group  I didnt bring anything to it.  I dont have superpowers, Im not much of a studier, and magic, well, we all remember what happened when I tried that little venture.  We spent the entire afternoon looking for Buffy rat.  Again he smiled.  So when Quentin approached me and told me that I could help, possibly even save your lives. . .well, how could I refuse?

Xander, you dont have to do this.  Youre not pre-ordained.  Giles tried to reason with him.  The Shadowman isnt here for you specifically, hes. . .

Xander stopped him with a wave of his hand.  Dont you think I figured that out by now?  If youve taught me anything Giles, its to read carefully between the lines when researching.  Quentin and Ethan put some sort of a spell on Dru so she would go mad and try to kill me.  That way, the office would remain vacant and the gate would open.  I figured as much, so I sped up the transformation so I could fight her off.  Even if I wasnt meant to take his place,  Xander gestured to the still silent man beside him.  from what I must look like now, I dont have a choice.  He took an old looking small book from the pocket of his duster and tossed it to Giles.  That is volume seven of the Garzian text.  If I dont take the office, I die.  My body will reject the immortal blood Ive taken from Dru and I will waste away and die.

No.  Willow protested.  There has to be some other way, we missed something, or skipped a chapter or. . .no Xander you cant. . .

The boy speaks the truth.  Shadowman finally spoke.  His voice had an eerie resonance to it.  He will die and the one who was destined for this office will have to take it.  It is of no consequence that you are no longer the immortal watcher, young one.  He looked at Willow.  The Powers That Be have seen fit to bestow upon you the gift of immortality as well as your equal.  He gestured to Buffy.  The two lesser beings meant to corrupt you and take away your innocence, that way when you ascended, things would be as they had wished.  With the boys intervention, the great balance will remain the same and the gates will be well guarded Im sure.  He laid his hand on Xanders shoulder.  The office taker must be willing and pure in his intentions.  Even if I did pass over the boy, you would not be willing, so the next candidate would be the vessel.

Drucilla?  Pure is hardly a word Id use on that nut.  Faith replied.

Pure evil, Slayer, I never said it had to be pure good.  The man smiled.

Xander nodded his head.  You really dont think Id let a wacky vampire be the one thing standing between you guys and a bunch of demons, do you?  Xander watched as the Shadowman walked away casually towards the entrance of the mausoleum.  He nodded slowly and turned back to his friends.

Xander.  Buffy choked out.  What are we gonna do without you? She put her arms around Willow who had been crying for sometime already.

He smiled.  Youll be okay, Buff.  You and Wills have each other, everything is the way its supposed to be. . .the way it should have been from the beginning.  Shadowman cleared his throat and Xander visibly shuddered.  He began to slowly back away.  You know. . .I knew it was coming, but I never imagined it would be this hard.  I never imagined. . .  He reached the doorway and disappeared into the light.

The fog lifted as soon as the light winked out.  The sky cleared and the stars shone brightly in the dark blue sky.

Willow fell to her knees and sobbed.  Buffy was right at her side with her arms wrapped around her love, her soul-mate, holding her tightly and rocking her, telling her that everything would be alright.  Buffy realized after a few moments that she was saying it for herself as much as for Willow.

Anya stood stock still.  She hadnt said a word during the entire exchange, yet something changed in her eyes  something was lost suddenly.  Giles approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  It was only then that she slumped her shoulders and relented  turning her body around to clench at the tweed jacket inches away and weep silently. His heart broke for her.  None of them had ever seen her show such a range of emotions.

Cordelia leaned back into Angels arms and sighed.  He wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered.  I know, Cordy.  I know.

Faith stood in contemplative silence.  Just as she was about to say something, Spike came running across the grass and stopped short at the sight of them.

He looked around eagerly.  What?  What the bloody hell did I miss this time?

Buffy shook her head at Spike and leaned down to Willow.  Come on.  Lets go home.  Willow nodded in agreement and they all filed out of the cemetery.

----------

***The following night***

Angel opened the door to Giles apartment and nodded to the Watcher.

How are they?  He removed his glasses and marked the page of the book he had been reading.

Much of the same.  Cordy bought some groceries and is there with them now.  Faith stayed behind too.  He shrugged.

Good, good.  They need to take some time to grieve.  Xander didnt die, but he is still lost to them.  They know they may very well never see him again.

Yes they do.  Angel looked around the apartment.  All was quiet.  Anya and Spike?

I really dont know.  Spike took off last night after I informed him of Drucillas demise.  Anya was gone when I woke this morning.  Giles rose from the couch and stretched.  Im afraid shes taking this very hard.  The girls and Xander were best friends, but to loose someone you are romantically involved with. . .its, devistating.  Giles noticed the stricken _expression_ Angel was trying to hide.  Sorry.

Its okay Giles.  You know.  Angel walked around the couch and stood in front of him.  Theyre not girls anymore.  Theyre women.  Willow is going to be twenty-seven in a few weeks.

------------

How is she?  Cordelia walked up behind Buffy who was standing in the doorway of hers and Willows bedroom.

The same.  She cried herself to sleep.  Buffys voice rattled from exhaustion.  Shed been up all night with Willow trying to comfort her.  I feel so helpless.  There isnt anything I can do for her, nothing I can say to make her feel better.  Shes inconsolable.

Theyve been best friends since they were six, Buffy.  He always stood by her no matter what. . .she may be feeling like she let him down.

Buffy turned to her, puzzled.  Theres one of those double entrance things in there, right?

Cordelia smiled.  Double entendre.    Willow always stood by you no matter what happened.  When she was attacked, she felt like she let you down. . .like she disappointed you.  We both know what the result was with that.  She ran, she was ashamed.  Cordelia got quiet for a moment and whispered.  Just love her Buffy.  Let her know how much you love her and what a good person she is. . .eventually shell believe it and stop blaming herself.  But for now, let her sleep.

They walked down the hall into the livingroom where Faith was watching TV.  Hey, hows Red doing?

Not good, but at least shes sleeping now.  Buffy flopped down on the couch next to Faith.

Shell get over it, B.  Reds a strong kid.  Dont worry so much.

Kid?  Shes going to be. . .oh my god, I almost forgot.  Her birthday is in three weeks and I promised her a party.

Party planning?  Now thats the kind of reseach I can get into.  Cordelia perked up.  So what do we need to do? She stood and walked toward the door.  Just let me get my bag from the car and we can start planning it now.

---------------

Willow stirred under the covers Buffy had placed over her only moments before.  She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around.  She was in her room, hers and Buffys room, in bed alone and it was dark out.  Had she been sleeping all day?  With the night she had, she wasnt surprised.  Her eyes were still stiff from crying and she rubbed them again to try and get the sleepies out.

She knew what she had to do.  Shed thought about it ever since Giles let her see the seventh volume of the Garzian text.  She had to find Xander, had to get answers, give answers, make him understand that he didnt let her down, that she didnt stop loving him and hed always be her best friend.  She couldnt let him go on thinking that she was mad at him.  There were too many times in the past that she had let things go, let things fester and their friendship had suffered for it.  In order to be at peace with herself, she had to be fester free  and in order for that to happen shed have to find Xander.  Which meant leaving Buffy, again.

She packed a few essentials in the oversized backpack she brought back from Oxford.  She chose different herbs and candles at random and grabbed a few magic books just in case.  How did someone find a Shadowman anyway?  Well, she was about to find out.

When her bag was packed, she sat down to write Buffy a note.  This was hard. . .this was so hard and she didnt know how to begin. . .she didnt know how to say how much. . .
 

I love you.  I really do.  You have made my life so much better than I ever could have imagined.  I swore to you that I would never want to be away from you for any reason if I could help it, and I meant that.  But right now, I cant help it.  I have to find Xander and I have to fix this.  I cant let it go, I have to fix it and I hope you can understand.

For the first fifteen years of my life he was there.  He protected me and looked out for me.  We looked out for each other.  In a lot of ways, we only had us.  Then you came along and suddenly there was a group of us and it was good, great, it was very groupie and we all just clicked.

You and I went to college, and although we didnt forget about him, I can understand how he must have felt left out.  I hope you can understand why I need to do this.  I need to know that he knows I love him and he is my best friend and always will be.  Im giving myself a month to find him and if I cant by then, well, Ill have to accept that he just doesnt want to be found.

You are my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my rock  Buffy, you are everything to me.  I need you to know and I need you to understand.  You can doubt anything but never doubt the love I have for you.  Ever.  I can only hope you will forgive me for leaving again and accept me back into your arms when I return.

Yours always,

Willow

She folded the note and placed it on the pillow. Quietly she opened the window and slipped out, using the trellace to climb down to the ground. She gave a last look up at the Summers' home - her home - and walked away into the night.

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