FF: Tears

["Sam" <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx>]

Tears

By Sam

E-mail: Shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx 
Disclaimer: Buffy and company belong to Joss. Tears and Heaven 
belongs to Eric Clapton and Will Jennings.
Archive: If you have any off my stuff feel free to archive it 
otherwise just shoot me a email I'll say yes.
Pairing: B/W 
Spoilers: The Gift
Notes: Post Gift songfic in Willows POV. Done to Tears in Heaven by 
Eric Clapton. Serious angst ahead.



Willow sat curled up on her bed, she felt alone and lost, the last 
few weeks had bee the worst in her life. She looked down at her 
trembling hands and through tear stained eyes she looked at her and 
Buffy's prom picture.
*******************************************

Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
********************************************

Why did you have to leave me like that, I never even got to say 
goodbye, never got to feel your tender lips against mine one last 
time, never got to tell you how much you mean to me before you left.  
Oh god I miss you so much,. It feels like I can't breath, OH god how 
am I gonna live with out you.
********************************************
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven?
***************************************

If only I could see you one more time, I'd hold you close to me and 
never let go. The on only thing that even keeps me going is knowing 
that you gave yourself for me, knowing that you're up there looking 
down at me, watching over me

***************************************
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
***************************************

Oh Buffy, I love you so much that hurts knowing that we can't be 
together for now. How am I gonna make it? I wake up in the middle 
of the night and reach over and you're not there, Oh God I wish you r 
were still there.
***************************************

Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
***************************************

I remember how we use to hold hand as we walked down the hall at 
school, people would look and star but it didn't matter to us, all 
that matter was that we where together. I didn't care what they said 
or though, I only cared for you, and when you held in your arms I 
knew that I was the nothing could hurt me, if only I could feel like 
that again but I can't. Your gone, taken from way to soon, I never 
feel like that again.
****************************************

Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
***************************************

Willow laid the picture carefully down on her nightstand, she got up 
out of bed, looked at the clock, it was already noon, and she'd 
missed all her morning classes, not that it mattered anymore. She 
hadn't made a class since the final battle with glory, since she lost 
her one tru love, her Buffy.
*****************************************
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven...
*****************************************

Willow took a few step before her legs gave out, she dropped to her 
knees and grabbed hold of the night stand as a fresh stream of tears 
ran down her face.  

I gotta go on, I can't keep living like this, but it huts. It huts 
so much, ever second I'm awake I wishing you where still here with 
me, and my dreams are haunted by your memory. OH God why'd you have 
to take her from me, W-w-why did have to be Buffy.
*********************************************

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...
**********************************************

Everyone's been so understanding, they keep saying that it will get 
better in time, but can't imagine that. I can't imagine any type of 
life with out you but that's what I have now, I have to live without 
you but I don't want to do it. I want you back here with me, so I 
can't hold you in my arms, tell you I love you&God why can't I have 
that.
***********************************************
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...
***********************************************
Willow continued to openly weep as she pulled herself up off the 
floor, she looked down at the nightstand, and her eyes immediately 
went to the picture of her and Buffy.

OH God I love you Buffy, I always will. I don't think I can love 
anyone as much as I loved you. You where my everything and you still 
are, you always will be.
*************************************************

Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
*************************************************
Willow took a few step then collapsed back into her bed crying even 
harder than before.

**************************************************
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven?
**************************************************

How am I supposed to make it without Buffy?
**************************************************
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
**************************************************

Willow buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep, 
thinking that maybe tomorrow she might actually leave her and Buffy's 
apartment.