repost: Blind Faith

["shadowmage_draco" <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx>]

Blind Faith

By

Sam




Email: shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx
Rating: R 
Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS slayer are the property of Joss.  
I am borrowing them for a bit for fun.
Archive: The usual suspects. Anyone else just ask, I'll say yes.
Pairing: Buffy/Faith 
Thanks: As always a special thanks to Coy for being kinda enough not 
only to beta read for me but me a most cool friend.
Summery: A reformed Faith is injured and faces an uncertain future 
with her fellow slayer.
Warning: Angst ahead and I am just warming up.
Notes: Welcome to my darkside, its going to be a bumpy ride for the 
slayers, and it's gonna be really dark for a bit but there eventually 
is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope you don't hate me 
for this one and stick around to see things when they start to get 
better.  
Feedback: Feedback is the fuel to my muse, please send it as it is 
most yummy.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Act one: Sacrifice


Faith sat on her bunk looking out at the darken sky from her cell and 
knew she was where she belonged. After all she had done the slayer 
knew there was no redemption for her, she had hurt some many people, 
made so many bad decisions, and turned everyone she had ever even 
though about caring for against her.

She reached under her pillow and pulled out a small wooden box she 
kept there and carefully opened it, removing what had become 
her most cherished possession in the world. She then placed the 
box on her pillow and with both of her hands held on to the picture
as she stared at it.

Faith sat there for a moment just glaring at the picture trying to 
compose herself before speaking. When she felt like she was ready 
the brunette let out a soft sigh and began talking.

"B you would have been so proud of me today, big Marcie tried to pick 
a fight but I just walked away. I know that doesn't make up for all 
the crap I pulled on you and your friends but I don't think I will 
ever be able to make that up to you B. I know now what I did was 
wrong, I don't even know why I did it. I guess I was searching for 
something, and I thought the mayor could give it. I just wanted to 
be loved B, but I was stupid, I wish I would have seen what you where 
offering me but I was scared. Who would have thunk it B, me scared, 
kinda funny isn't it. I wish I could say I'm sorry but I know you 
won't have anything to do with me and I can't say I blame you. I 
don't want anything to do with me either, I messed up so bad B."

Faith began rocking back and forth on her cot as she tightened her 
grip on the picture of Buffy, "I'm where I belong, locked away where 
I can't hurt you or any one else. Oh my God B, I wish I hadn't hurt 
you, if I could take it back I would, but I can't. There's no 
redemption for me B, I wish there was but there's not."

Faith leaned forward and put the picture up to her forehead, a 
solitary tear rolled down her cheek, "I sorry I hurt you B, I so 
sorry I hurt you."

Faith stayed like that for several moments before straightening back 
up and looking down at the picture, "Well it's almost lights out B 
and I got to be up earlier to help get breakfast ready. They are 
letting me work in the cafeteria now, Betty says I am a decent cook, 
bet you would have never picture me cooking, huh B. They let me do 
it cause I haven't got in any fights for so long. I feel good about 
that B, it's been almost three months since I got in that fight with 
Big Marci, and she's the one that started it, but I still was wrong.  
I should of been strong enough just to walk away B, I should have 
been strong like you but I wasn't. Well now I am just rambling B so 
I had better get some shut eye, morning comes early here."

Faith placed a quick kiss on the picture before returning it to 
safety to the wooden box. She slid the box back under her pillow and 
fell back for another night of nightmares.

The next morning in the cafeteria&

"Hey Spencer get over here," shouted the short brunette guard.

"Yes Ma'am," Faith replied as she went over to see what the guard 
wanted.

The guard pulled Faith of to the side from her fellow inmates who 
where getting the serving line prepared, "Did you find out any 
information on Darci?"

"No all she did was brag about how here drug smuggler boyfriend was 
gonna have his lawyers get her out of here."

"That's not good, I haven't been able to get any info either, and Her 
boyfriend's lawyers are picking up the heat."

"I'll try harder then," Faith replied.

"No that's not good, just play it like the Warden told you too, I 
don't want to see you hurt."

"Why, I'm just another thug like everyone else in here."

"No you're not," the guard replied, taking a step closer to 
faith, "The warden has seen how you changed since you got here, and 
that plus you helping me with trying to find out about Darci's 
boyfriend's operation fairly much clinches a early release next time 
you go before the parole board."

"I don't deserve it, I've done to many bad things."

The guard eyed Faith for a moment, "I don't know what you did, but I 
know you don't belong in here, not anymore that is. Now get back to 
work before anyone gets suspicious."

Faith went over to the serving line and began to help the others get 
ready for breakfast as the guard sat back and watched the inmates.  

The door to the cafeteria flung open as Big Marci, along with Darci 
and several other inmates entered the cafeteria. The guard stood up 
and wrapped her fist tightly around her nightstick, with her other 
hand she began to quickly pull the radio from her belt..

"Looky here, it's under cover Fuz," growled Big Marci as she and the 
other inmates walked towards the guard.

Faith leapt across the counter and rapidly closed the gap between her 
and her friend. She looked over at Big Marci, "Why don't you guys 
just get out of here."

'"So ya think where gonna back down because little Ms bad ass wants 
to help the Fuz," Big Marci growled, "Get 'em girls."

Big Marci's crew rushed towards Faith and the guard. The slayer 
struck out quickly with a roundhouse kick and sent on of the inmates 
to the ground, she then quickly knocked two of the others out with 
powerful jabs as the guard called in for backup.

Big Marci rushed at Faith swinging violently, but the Slayer easily 
blocked her attackers every swing. She then countered with a series 
of jabs of her own sending Big Marci reeling backwards.

She moved in to finish the fight only to have one of Big Marci's crew 
sprayed here in the face with a chemical fire extinguisher. 

Faith dropped to her knees screaming, as she tried to get the 
chemicals out of her eyes.

Big Marci saw what happened and quickly got back up on her 
feet, "Forget about the Cop, I want that bitch dead!"

The remainder of Big Marci's crew that was still standing quickly 
decided on Faith and began viscously kicking and hitting Faith.  

Faith fell to the ground, unable to see because of the chemicals as 
the inmates continued to pound on her. The guard hit two of them 
over the head with her nightstick knocking them out until Big Marci 
jumped her and knocked her to the ground. Marci then took the 
nightstick from the guard and pushed one of the inmates, who was 
unmercifully kicking Faith, out of the way.

Clenching the nightstick in her hand she glared down at the bloodied 
Slayer and began to strike her repeatedly with the nightstick.

Several guards poured in the cafeteria in full riot gear and began 
pulling the inmates off of faith. By the time they had secured the 
room, Faith was laying on the cold cafeteria floor, her body shaking 
as she rapidly went into shock.

"We have to get her to the infirmary now," screamed one of the guards 
as he and another guard picked up Faith.


Act two: Alone in the Dark.


Los Angeles county hospital...

Faith could hear the beating of her own heart as she lay there in the 
hospital bed. The last few days seemed like a blur to her, she 
remembered talking to the undercover police officer, she remembered 
the other inmates attacking and some spraying something in her face.  
She recalled falling to the ground as the fell on her in vultures, 
but that's where her memories ended and this living nightmare began.

She had woke up here two days ago and immediately started screaming.  
She could hear the doctors and nurses as they rushed into her room 
and tried to calm her but that only made her scream louder. <I know 
they're here but why and the hell can't I see them! What the Fuck 
has happened to me!!>

She could feel a needle pierce her arm, and the tranquilizer being 
injected. However she couldn't see who was doing it and for the 
first time since she had been called as a slayer Faith was scared.  
She found herself alone in the dark, wanting this nightmare to end 
but knowing that it couldn't because she was really awake.  

Tears filled the Brunettes eyes as she slowly moved her hand in front 
of her face for the thousandth time. She didn't know why she did 
this, she just did. Maybe one of these times for some reason she 
would see her hand, but she never did and this time was no 
different. Faith moved her hand back down by her side and tightly 
clenched her fist, <I know I fucked up my life! I know I did wrong, 
but why this. Why did ya let this fuckin' happen!. Can ya hear me 
God, why this! Why the Fuck this!!>


Los Angeles women's correctional facility&

Officer Tammy Risa sat before a special corrections board. Two 
Judges, The warden, two other guards, and a civil service worker 
where sitting across from her. 

The Warden looked across the wooden table at Tammy, "Officer Risa 
could you please tell us what happened in the Cafeteria two days ago."

"Yes sir, I went down there in the role of supervising the inmates 
working in the cafeteria in order to contact Ms. Spencer."

"And Why where you trying to contact Ms. Spencer," One of the Judges 
asked.

"Three months ago I came to warden Davis and asked if their was any 
inmates who could be trusted to work with me on a under cover job in 
the prison, the warden recommend Ms. Spencer who had been a model 
prisoner."

"And what was the nature of this under cover assignment?"

"I was trying to get information from a inmate on her boyfriend's off 
shore accounts, and money laundering for a drug cartel."

"And Ms. Spencer agreed to help?"

"Yes sir, she did."

The Warden shot a quick look to the two judges and leaned 
forward, "Officer Risa, what happened in that cafeteria?"

"Some of the inmates managed to find out I was working under cover 
and came for me. Ms Spencer, came to my aid."

Tammy looked the warden dead in the eyes, "She put herself in-between 
me and the other inmates and fought them off the best she could until 
back up could arrive."

"What would have happened if Ms Spencer wouldn't have helped out?"

Tammy took a deep breath as she thought about the warden's 
question, "They would have killed me."

The warden thanked Officer Risa then dismissed her, he then turned to 
the Judges, "I asked for hearing to be moved up because not only has 
Faith Spencer been a model prisoner, I believe she is truly 
reformed. I have dispositions from three state shrinks who say that 
the remorse she feels for her actions is greater than they had ever 
seen, and all three of them came to the same conclusion, she is no 
longer the same person she was when she got here. I also have 
affidavits from several guards and staff members that make similar 
statements."

The warden stood of from his chair, took a deep breath and turned to 
face the two judges, "Your Honors, not only did Ms. Spencer volunteer 
to work with a undercover police officer, she also risked her life to 
save that police officer. Because of that, she might be blind for 
the rest of her life. I have been working in corrections for 25 
years, the last nine of them here as warden and I can tell you this, 
Faith Spencer no longer belongs in prison, she should be given early 
release."

Los Angeles county hospital...

Faith's body tightened up when she heard some one entering her room.  
Her body broke out in a cold sweat as the unknown person made their 
way to her bed, her mind was racing as she tried to figure out who it 
was. It was to early for any of the nurses and she hadn't gotten any 
visitors since she had been brought her.  

<Who the hell are you!> Faith was becoming terrified as the unknown 
person sat down next to her bed. Why where they their, what did they 
want with her. She felt like she was living in an endless nightmare 
every time someone walked through that door. She knew they where 
their but couldn't see who they where. She had made so many enemies 
in her dark slayer days, plus she knew of a secret world of vampires 
and demons that very few knew about. It could be anyone or anything 
that was coming for her and she couldn't see them coming and it 
terrified her beyond belief <If I only could be back in my cell where 
I knew I was safe.>

Faith felt like her heart was going to exploded as it kept beating 
faster and faster, <Who the hell are you!>

"Faith, are you OK," Tammy Risa asked as she noticed how tense the 
brunette seemed to be.

Faith felt a wave of relief come over her when she heard officer Risa 
voice, "Yeah I'm&OK, it's just &well&this place is getting to me, 
I'll be glad to get back to my cell."

Tammy placed her arm on Faith's shoulder, "You're not going back 
Faith. The warden got you early release, you're free."

Faith laid there in shock as Officer Risa's word sunk in, she didn't 
know what to do or say. She knew that she didn't deserve to be let 
go, no matter how good she had been, she had done to much to deserve 
that, but that was not what was bothering her. It was the word 
free. How could she be free, the world out there was filled with 
darkness and evil so vile that most people chose to ignore it and 
those who actually faced it either embraced it or died trying to 
fight it. <I'm not gonna make it. I can't even see what I'm facing, 
their gonna kill me.>

Officer Risa reached in her purse and pulled out the small wooden 
box one of the other guards had given to her and placed it in Faith's 
hands, "I really don't know how to thank you for what you did for me, 
I owe you my life. I know this isn't alto but the guards said that 
it was something you seemed to treasure, so I figured you should have 
it here with you and not have to wait to get it back when you're 
released from the hospital."

Faith held the small wooden box in her hands, tears started to flw 
down her cheeks as she thought about what it contained, "T-th-thank 
you."

"No thank you, you saved my life, it's the least I can do," replied 
Tammy as she got up to leave.

Faith waited until she was sure she was alone. She placed the box on 
her chest and carefully opened it. Faith then removed Buffy's 
picture and ran her hand across it, "B&Oh God B, it hurts so bad.  
They're letting me go but I can't see a damn thing. I'm gonna walk 
out of here and the first vamp or bad guy that sees me is gonna kill 
me and it will be over. I can't fight them, like this. Hell I 
won't be even able to see 'em coming B. I know I did a lot of evil 
stuff B and I hurt you but I didn't want it to end like this B."

Tears where freely flowing down Faith's face as she pressed the 
picture against her cheek, "If only I could see you one more time, to 
tell you I'm sorry, to try and make up for hurting you. I just want 
to see you one more time B, to see how beautiful you are, to be near 
you for one moment. I know you hate me but I deserve it. I don't 
except you to forgive me, I'm beyond forgiveness. I just want to see 
you one more time B, I just want to say good bye before they come for 
me."

As Faith held on to Buffy's picture and cried openly the silent 
figure in the hallway took a few steps back from her room. He 
reached down into his jacket and pulled out a cell phone. The figure 
then hit the speed dial button and waited for it to ring.

"Cordelia, this is Angel. I'm at the hospital right now."

"So is Faith gonna be staying with us when she gets out ?"

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her yet," Angel paused for a 
moment, "Could you get my overnight bag ready, I have to go to 
Sunnydale."


Act three: Conflict.


LA...

Faith shot up in bed, her body was drenched in a cold sweat, and her 
heart was pounding rapidly in her chest. The brunette's body was 
trembling as she clenched the sheets tightly, "Where the hell am I?  
What's going on?"

She heard the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching her room, <who 
where they, why are they coming>. She slid as far back against the 
headboard as her body would allow. The whole time holding onto the 
bed sheets, afraid that if she let go of them she would fall from 
where ever she was.

She heard an unfamiliar voice off to her right ask her what was 
wrong. She turned towards the voice, her heart racing in terror <Why 
can't I see who you are? Why can't I see where I am? >

The head nurse slowly moved towards Faith and spoke in a calm 
reassuring voice, "MS. Spencer everything is going to be OK, just 
tell me what is wrong."

"What's wrong! What's wrong is I don't know where I am! What the 
hell is going on here? What have you done to me?" Faith cried in a 
panic.

The nurse moved a little closer to Faith; "You're at Los Angeles 
county hospital. You where brought here after a riot at the prison, 
do you remember that?"

It took Faith a moment to put together the nurses words and when she 
did it all came back to her. The cafeteria, Big Marcie and the other 
inmates, the fire extinguisher, waking up her and having the doctors 
tell her that the chemicals in the fire extinguisher had blinded 
her. She tried to calm herself down but found it difficult to do.  
<Why can't I see who's in here with me? It's not right, I should be 
able to see who is in this damn room with me. >

"I'm in the hospital?"

"That's right, your in the hospital, and everything is going to be 
OK."

<She's lying, why the hell is she lying? I can't fuckin' see! It's 
not OK, it's never gonna be OK again. >

The Nurse slowly moved her hand towards Faith, "Ms. Spencer I'm gonna 
help you lay back down in bed so you can get some rest."

<Great, is this what I'm reduced to? Having to have people tell me 
when they are getting close to me so I won't be scared, I'm the 
freakin' Slayer, I'm not suppose to be afraid of a nurse. What the 
hell is happening to me? >

Faith felt her body tense up as the nurse helped her lie back down in 
her bed. The nurse then placed a pill in Faiths hand, and a glass of 
water in the other, "It's a sleeping pill, you need your rest."

<I know their watching. What if I spill the water on myself like last 
time? I can't do this! I can't even drink a damn glass of water. > 

Faith popped the pill in her mouth, and nervously began moving the 
glass of water towards her mouth, <This shouldn't be hard. Why is 
this so fuckin' hard? >

She felt the rim of the glass touch her lips, <please don't let me 
spill any this time, please not why they are watching. >

Faith waited for the nurses to leave her room before reaching under 
her pillow and removing the small wooden box from it's hiding place.  
She didn't know why she still hid it like that; there wasn't anyone 
here that would take it from her. Maybe she had just gotten used to 
it being close to her when she slept.

She placed the box on her chest, and removed Buffy's picture, "What's 
happening to me B? I'm scared, and I'm not supposed to be scared. I 
don't know what to do, I don't know how long I'm gonna last like this 
B. I mean how long before the vamps figure out what's happened, then 
when they do it's curtains for me. I know I probably deserve it for 
all I done but I don't want to go out like this B. If only I could 
see you again before they come."

Sunnydale...

Buffy paced back and forth across the living room of Giles house, 
trying to figure out what possessed Angel to show up in Sunnydale and 
insist that she needed to go to LA and see Faith. After all the dark 
slayer had done to them, done to her. Angel had the gall to show up 
here and tell her she had to go to LA. <What the hell is he 
thinking?!>

She shot a quick glare over at Angel who was sitting nervously next 
to Giles. At first they had though that he had come to warn them 
that Faith was getting out of the prison, but then he started going 
on about how she has changed, how she was a different person now and 
that she had been hurt at the prison and Buffy needed to go see her, 
<Like that's ever going to happen. Not after what she did. >

Buffy stopped pacing, turned and faced Angel giving him a rather cold 
stare but not saying a word. The souled vampire stood up and walked 
over towards her, "Buffy this is important, you have to hear me out."

If looks could kill Angel would have been turned to dust on the spot 
by Buffy's glare; "I've already heard enough."

"No you haven't. Faith's not the dark slayer she used to be. She's 
changed Buffy, and she needs you."

"Like hell she has! Faith can't change; it's what she is. I just 
can't believe you where gullible enough to fall for her lie's again, 
not after last time."

"She's not lying," Angel firmly insisted.

"And just how do you know that!"

"I saw it when I was at the hospital, I heard it as she talked not 
knowing I was there&"

Buffy slammed her fist on the table intruding Angel in mid sentence, 

"Then you saw wrong!"

"Buffy I know what I saw..."

The slayer grabbed a book of the table and threw it forcefully into 
Angels' chest, "You don't know. You're blinded by your need to help, 
but it's not going to do any good, she's beyond help, she can't 
change!"

"That's not true Buffy, and you know it."

"You're wrong, it is true," Buffy bitterly replied, "I know it all to 
well. I tried to change her, tried to help her but all she did was 
turn on all of us."

Buffy walked up to Angel and stared him dead in the eyes, "After the 
deputy mayor I tried everything I could do to help her, and she 
repaid that by kidnapping Willow and trying to kill her, or have you 
forgotten that."

"I haven't forgotten."

"Good! Because that is what Faith is. It was Faith who tried to 
kill my friends, it was Faith who poisoned you, it was Faith who came 
out of a comma and tried to steal my life and hit my Mom."

"Buffy that's in the past, you have to move on."

"I have moved on, I just haven't forgotten what she is, but you seem 
to have."

"Buffy..."

"I'm not done yet," Buffy screamed, "I don't care what you say, or 
how much she has fooled you. I'm not going to allow myself to be 
taken in by her again, I can't afford it."

Angel placed his hands on Buffy's shoulder but the slayer knocked 
them off. He took a few steps back and stared at her for a 
moment, "Buffy I know what she did, I know that she hurt you, she 
hurt all of us. But I wouldn't be here if it wasn't different this 
time. If you could only see her, listen to what she has to say then 
you would know that I am telling the truth."

Angel took a few steps back towards Buffy and reached his hand out to 
her, "Come with me to LA and see for yourself."

Buffy looked down at Angel's hand and slapped it away, "NO. If you 
want to help her then do it, but don't come crying to me when she 
turns on you."

Angel looked at Buffy then turned to the others desperately, "You 
forgave me after what I did. If I can change so can Faith, could 
someone please help me here."

Giles turned avoided looking at Angel and pretending to sip on his 
tea. He wasn't sure if Angel was right this time but he knew that it 
was best not to agitate Buffy anymore, the slayer had a very stubborn 
streak in her and there was no way anyone was going to convince her 
to go to LA anytime soon.

Xander and Anya both just sat there watching the whole scene. Not 
wanting to get pulled into this and risk Buffy getting mad at them 
too.  

Angel looked over at were Willow and Tara where sitting, his eyes 
begging for help. The blonde found herself wishing that she could 
just craw in a hole somewhere to get away from this whole mess but 
her girlfriend was a different story.

Willow stood up, clenching her fist, and with fire in her eyes and 
for 
the second time that evening Angel was glad looks couldn't kill. 

"Buffy's right! You have no right to come in here like this and tell 
her that she needs to go to LA and see Faith."

Willow then walked over next to her best friend and glared at 
Angel, "Faith's a nightmare, she tried to kill all of us, I had 
nightmares for a long time after she kidnapped me and if it wasn't 
for the people in this room I would still be having them."

"Willow, what Faith did to you and the others was wrong, but she was 
a different person then&"

"No! She wasn't! She was the same person that's in that hospital in 
LA. She's not ever gonna change, she can't change."

Buffy took her best friend by the hand and shot a cold stare to 
Angel, "I've had enough of this, get out!"

"But Buffy&"

"I said GET OUT! I don't want to hear this anymore so just go, 
there's nothing you can say that is going to change my mind."

"Buffy&"

"GO," Buffy screamed, pointing at the door.

Angel slowly walked over to the door with his head hung down; he 
turned around and looked at Buffy and the others one last time before 
leaving, "If you change your mind I'm not leaving till tomorrow you 
know were to find me."

"Go."

Angel then turned away and walked out of Giles' house defeated.


Later at Willow and Tara's dorm room...

"W-willow, can we talk," Tara nervously asked.

Willow hoped on the bed next to Tara, "We can always talk, you know 
that."

"It's about tonight at Giles, it's& well, it's&"

"It's what?"

"It's...you should go see her."

"What? Tara you don't know what she's like."

"I do know, I was here when she took Buffy's body and you've filled 
me in on the rest. I don't know if she has changed or not, but I do 
know that people can change and that we should at least go and see if 
what Angel is saying is true."

"Tara this is Faith we're talking about, don't you realize that?"

"I do, I also know that anyone can change, look at Angel he's a 
vampire with a soul."

"That was magic, it's different with him."

"No it's not, if you can cast a spell to give a vampire his soul back 
then maybe Faith can change."

"Angel didn't have a soul when he did those things, faith did, and 
she still chose to be evil" Willow exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean that she can't change, you should at least go see 
if what Angel said was true or not."

"Why, why should I go," Willow asked trying not to get mad at her 
girlfriend.

Tara gently wrapped her arms around Willows waste, "Because you're 
Willow, it's who you are."

"Tara, what in the world are you talking about" Willow confusingly 
asked.

"I'm talking about the kindest, most caring person I have ever met.  
Willow you're amazing, I knew it the first time I saw you. I knew 
that you where caring and compassionate. Sweetheart, Angel said she 
needs our help, we should at least go and see if she's really 
changed."

"What if she tries to trick us again, what if she lies."

"We could use a spell, you know so we can tell if she is telling the 
truth."

Willow looked at Tara for a moment and placed her hand on her lovers' 
shoulder, "I don't think I can do it Tara."

Tara pulled Willow into a hug and kissed her forehead, "I'll be there 
for you, we'll know if she's changed or not."

"But she did so much, she hurt all of us."

"You're not going to be able to move on if you hold on to the past.  
You have to let it go Willow. If she's changed she deserves another 
chance."

"And if she hasn't?"

"Then we come back here and tell Buffy and the others, and we go on 
with our lives."

Willow looked into Tara's eyes and placed her head on the blonde's 
shoulder, "I'm scared, I don't know if I can face her after what 
she's done."

"I know, but it's going to be OK. I'm gonna be there for you."

"I know but..."

Tara kissed Willow's lips and ran her figures through Willows silky 
red hair, "I'm not going to let you down, I won't let you fall."



Act four: Unexpected visit


LA, Angel Investigations...

Willow lung to Tara's hand as they sat nervously on a couch at 
Angel's downtown office and waited for the brooding vamp to take them 
to the hospital. She wasn't sure really sure how her girlfriend had 
convinced her to come here but she had and now she was already 
regretting it. Sure Angel was going to be with them, and they where 
both pretty powerful Wicca's but still this was Faith they where 
talking about. It didn't matter that she was in the hospital, that 
her injuries had left her blind, the fact remained that it was Faith 
they where going to see. 

Faith who no matter what they did to try and stop her kept on coming, 
Faith who tried to kill them, Faith who stole her best friends body 
and hurt Tara's feelings <Why did I listen to Tara and let her 
convince me to come her, I didn't want to come here, but I can't help 
it, every time I look at her, look into her beautiful eyes I can't 
think. She knows I can't resist those eyes, just once I would like 
to be able to look at Tara and not totally cave in.>

Willow tightened her grip on Tara's hand when Angel came into the 
room. He looked at the two young women who where sitting nervously 
on his couch and smiled.

"You don't have anything to be afraid of, she's not the Faith you 
knew, she really has changed."

Willow glared at Angel for a moment, "That's easy for you to say, 
you're a vampire, plus you have a little slayer blood in you, where 
just, well just us."

Angel walked over to the couch and put placed his hands on Willow and 
Tara's shoulders, "It doesn't matter, she's changed, plus I'm going 
to be there," Angel paused for a moment, "I wont let anyone hurt you 
two while you're in LA."

Willow and Tara both nodded in agreement. Willow looked up at 
Angel, "IS there anything we should know before we see her."

"I've already told you about her sight, and that she isn't the same 
Faith you knew."

"I know but is their anything else."

Angel took a deep breath and didn't say a word.

"Angel, what is it? You have to tell us everything or I'm leaving 
here and going straight back to Sunnydale," Willow exclaimed.

"They have her on behavior modification drugs."

Willow gave Angel a cold stare, "drugs? Didn't it cross your mind 
that she seems different because of the drugs, and if she goes off of 
them she's bad again!"

"They don't work like that Willow."

"And how do you know that!"

"I did some research, talked to some of the doctors who are treating 
her, the drugs are for depression, they help her deal with her guilt 
from what she did and her injury."

"H-how long?"

"A while now, the doctors at the prison put her on a regiment of 
modification drugs to help her with rehabilitation."

"Angel you lied to us," Willow screamed as she jumped up from the 
couch.

"How did I lie, I told you everything."

"You said she had changed, that she was different, but the only 
reason that she is different is because they had to put her on 
behavior modifications drugs!"

"I said it wasn't the drugs than made her change Willow. She did 
that on her own, the drugs didn't do anything but help her cope."

"If that's the case then why did they see fit to put her on them!"

"They didn't," Angel replied.

Willow gazed at Angel for a moment, she was angry at him because she 
felt they had been tricked into coming here but at the same time she 
had to know what he was trying to tell them, "If they didn't think 
she need to be on the modification drugs then why did they put her on 
them?"

"Because Faith asked them to do it."

"She what," Willow questioned in astonishment.

"I talked her doctor. He said that Faith wanted to change but was 
afraid that she couldn't. The remorse she felt for what she had done 
was tremendous. He said that when she came to him and begged 
for help. She wanted to turn a new leaf but felt like she was unable 
to change because she had done so much."

"I don't understand this, she asked them to and they did t. That 
doesn't sound right. I think she's been taking you again."

"Willow the drugs didn't make her repent she did that on her own, all 
they did is help her not to be to depressed while she was trying to 
change."

"So they take her guilt away from her! Is that what you call 
changed!"

"They didn't take her guilt away, she still feels it everyday, it's 
something she is going to have to always live with. Trust me, I know 
what that's like, and it's no fun. All the drugs do is help her from 
being to depressed so she can face her past and try to make a future."

Willow wrapped her arm around Tara, "I'm not sure about this Angel.  
I mean if the drugs did that and you say she has changed then why is 
she still on them."

"It's not that simple. She still feels tremendous guilt over what 
she has done, she knows that she needs to make amends for her past," 
Angel paused for a moment, "and that's a hard burden to bare I know, 
I've been doing it for a few hundred years now. Plus you have to 
remember that she is blind now and that's not going to help her any 
emotionally."

"I'm still not sure about this," Willow reluctantly replied.

"Then come to the hospital with me and see for yourself." 


LA county Hospital...

Faith leaned back against the headboard of the hospital bed running 
her hand slowly across the small wooden box that held her most prized 
possession. After a few minuets, she was fairly certain that the 
last of the nurses had left her room. She opened up the box and 
carefully removed the picture of Buffy and held it in her hands.

> > From the hallway Willow started to say something but Angel gently put 
his finger over her lips and leaned over and whispered in the 
redheads ear, "I don't like spying on her like this but you and Tara 
need to see this so you'll have to be silent for a little bit longer."

Willow gave him a nod then turned her attention back to Faith's 
room.    

Tears started rolling down Faiths cheeks and she let out a low 
sigh. "Why can't I see you B? I really wish I could see you. I 
don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore, I'm so confused. When I 
was in prison I knew why I was there. I messed up my life and hurt 
people and I needed to be there because it's where I belong."

The Brunette slayer leaned her head back against the headboard and 
brought Buffy's picture closer to her, "They're letting me go B, I 
don't know why, I don't deserve it, I shouldn't be allowed out, I've 
done too much, I hurt you B, and I can't take it back. God, if I 
only could take it back B, If only I could take it all back."

Faith's whole body was trembling as she openly wept, her words now 
only came in-between her sobs of agony and torment, "I know you can 
never forgive me B, I don't deserve that but I want you to know I'm 
sorry. If only I could have seen what was right there in front of me 
then maybe it could have been different. I was an idiot B, I was 
afraid to see it, afraid that it was only an illusion. I was blinder 
then than I am now. I wish I could go back, take away all the wrong 
I did, but I can't. God B, if only I could, if only I could make 
things right."

Faith started rocking back and forth in her bed, her tears freely 
flowed down her face, and she wasn't able to talk anymore.

Willow and Tara both felt that their hearts where going to break, the 
spell they had cast let them both know that faith was sincere but 
they didn't need a spell to tell them that, they could see it in her 
eyes.

Willow Stepped into the room with Angel and Tara right behind her.  
Faith's head shot up and looked straight at the doorway. She quickly 
placed Buffy's picture back in the box and pulled it up against her 
chest.

"Who's there, What do you want with me, " Faith cried in a near panic.

"Faith it's me, Angel," replied the vampire as he moved past Willow 
towards Faith's bed.

"You came back to see me again," Faith replied with a hint of shock 
in her voice. <I hope he didn't overhear me again, please let him 
just to have gotten here.>

"Of course I did, you're not going to have to go through this alone 
Faith."

"Thanks, Uh you didn't, uh hear anything did ya?"

"No we just got here," Angel replied trying to save the brunette 
slayer a little face.

"We?"

"Yes, we. I brought some of the others with me this time, they 
wanted to see you."

"You did," Faith questioned as her anticipation began to grow <Please 
God let it be Buffy, please let it be Buffy.>  

Willow held on to Tara's hand tightly as she walked over next to 
Angel, "Faith, it's me Willow, I'm here with Tara." 

Faith took a big gulp of air and asked the one question she was 
afraid to hear the answer to, "Is Buffy with you?"

Willow heard the anticipation and fear in Faith's question, she took 
a seat next to the bed and Tara did the same. "She couldn't make it 
Faith," Willow replied hoping her lie was convincing.

<What was I thinking, of course she's not her, why would she want to 
see me.> "I understand&Red could, could you stay awhile>"

Willow looked back at Angel and Tara who both nodded yes, "Yeah we 
can stay."

Willow and Tara both sat their for what felt like forever and a week, 
both of them unsure of what to say to the former dark slayer.  
Finally, after several very uncomfortable minuets Faith broke the 
silence, 

"I'm, s-sorry for what I did."

Willow knew that Faith met what she said but still found the words 
hard to believe. She wanted to tell Faith that she knew she was 
sorry and that it was going to be OK but she couldn't force the words 
out as she sat there staring at the brunette.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, I know I don't deserve it for what 
I did, it's just that I had to say it, I had to let you know I was 
sorry," Faith sobbed.

Willow felt her heart breaking in side as Faith's words raced in her 
minds, she reached out and touched Faith's shoulder causing the 
slayer to flinch, "Faith, I know you're sorry for what you did."

"But your not going to forgive me," Faith softly replied in-between 
tears.

Angel and Tara both looked at Willow waiting to see how she was going 
to respond. The redheaded was just sitting there not saying a 
word with her hand on Faith's shoulder.  

Willow took her hand off of Faiths shoulder and took her 
hand, "Faith&" <Why is this so hard to do.>

"Faith I&I...Faith it's gong to be OK, it's going to take time but 
its going to be OK," Willow then took a deep breath and said the 
hardest thing she had ever had to say, "I forgive you."

Faith clench Willows hand, tears running down her cheeks. For a 
moment she even forgot that Buffy hadn't come with them to see her 
and for the first time she saw a glimpse of hope, <If Red can forgive 
me then maybe, just maybe Buffy can.> 


Act Five: The Talk


Sunnydale...

Buffy sat in her room staring at the clock on the wall, it had been a 
half hour since Willow had called to let her know that Tara and her 
where back in Sunnydale and said they needed to talk. She only hoped 
that Faith hadn't been able to fool her friends like she had fooled 
Angel. What she really needed was for Willow to come back and tell 
her that she had been right, that way they could put this whole mess 
Angel had created by showing up in the first place behind them.

The slayer looked at her alarm clock then at her watch, <What in the 
hell is keeping them, they should have been here by now. > She got 
up and started pacing back and forth across her room, every couple 
Minutes glancing down at her watch, <why haven't they gotten here 
yet. > 

Willow held on to Tara's hand as the two of them nervously looked at 
Buffy's door. They had been standing there for almost 15 minutes now 
and still hadn't gotten up the courage to knock on the door. They 
knew that Buffy most likely wasn't going to take what they had so say 
very well and hopped that she would listen, but sometimes she could 
be so stubborn.

"Willow, are you r-ready?"

"Not really. What if she won't listen?"

"We're her friends, she'll listen."

"But this is Buffy, she's not exactly strong in the listening 
department, plus she wasn't that thrilled with us for going to LA 
with Angel."

Tara turned and faced Willow, she put her free hand on the redheads 
shoulder, "We have to try and make her understand things are 
different with Faith now."

"And if she doesn't believe us?"

"Then at least we tried."

"Okay. Let's do this."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Buffy watched as Willow and Tara sat nervously on the edge of her 
bed, "So how was LA?"

"It was nice, definitely nice. Wouldn't you say it was nice Tara?"

"Yeah it was nice."

<Their acting weird something's not right, > Buffy leaned forward in 
her chair, "Are you two OK? Faith didn't hurt you? Did she?"

"No its nothing like that," Willow exclaimed, "It's just that&well&"

"Just what?"

Willow took a deep breath, <Okay here we go, > "She's different 
Buffy."

"How so," Buffy asked, not liking for one second the way this 
conversation was going.

"She's changed," Willow replied as she squeezed Tara's hand, "she's 
not like she used to be."

"I see, and what made you come to that conclusion," Buffy asked with 
a hint of anger in her voice.

"We talked to her, for a long time, she's sorry for what she did 
Buffy. I mean really truly sorry."

"No she's NOT! It's all a lie Willow, can't you see it, she's trying 
to manipulate you two just like she did Angel."

"Buffy she wasn't lying."

"And just how would you know that! Faith's like a professional lair, 
it's what she does, it's part of who she is!"

<God this is going bad, she's not going to listen. >

"Well?!"

Willow took several deep breaths as she tried to re-organize her 
thoughts, they had to get Buffy to listen to them some how, "W-w-
we..uh well, we&"

"You what," Buffy snapped.

"We did a spell, w-we would know if she was lying or n-not," Tara 
replied.

"A spell," Buffy asked, sounding slightly deflated.

Willow draped her arm around Tara's shoulder, maybe now Buffy would 
listen, "Yeah we cast it before we went to see her, if she told us 
anything but the truth we would have know."

Buffy flopped back down in her seat as she tried to take in what 
Willow and Tara had just said. Willow got up and moved over next to 
Buffy, "She didn't fool us or Angel Buffy. Faith really has changed, 
she regrets all the stuff she did."

Tara walked up next to Willow and took her hand, "Buffy she's right.  
Faith is a different person now."

Willow saw that Buffy wasn't going to say anything, <Good she's 
listening>, "Buffy, she asked me to forgive her, it was hard but I 
did it."

Buffy jumped straight up out of her chair startling the two 
witches, "You WHAT!!"

"I forgave&."

"Wills, have you gone mad. This is Faith you can't forgive her."

"Buffy, you don't understand."

"No! I understand perfectly, she tricked you and Tara just like she 
tricked Angel. She hasn't changed, can't you see it."

"Buffy! Faith didn't trick us, if she had tried to the spell would 
have picked it up."

"Then she found a way to get around your spell," A very agitated 
Buffy exclaimed.

"Buffy she didn't know we cast a spell. How's she gonna get around 
it?"

"I don't know, but she did. It's the only explanation."

"And why is that," Willow argued.

"Because she can't change!"

<God why won't she listen> "Buffy people change everyday."

"Not Faith!"

"And why not?"

"Because she's Faith. Don't you remember what she's done, how she 
hurt everyone."

"Buffy I do remember," Willow replied on the verge of tears, "How 
could I not remember."

"Then how can you stand here and tell me that's she's changed and 
that you forgave her," Buffy retorted.

"Because she has. I would have never believed it if I hadn't seen it 
for myself, but Faith has changed."

Willow moved over and stood right in front of Buffy, "Look I know 
it's hard to believe but it's the truth. You're my best friend and I 
wouldn't do anything to stir you wrong so you have to believe me that 
she's different."

Willow placed her hands on Buffy shoulders, "Buffy forgiving Faith 
was one of the hardest things I ever done, but I did it. If I can do 
that you could at least go and see her."

Buffy lowered her had and just shook it, "No, I can't do it."

"But why Buffy," Willow pleaded, "Why can't you go see her. We would 
go with you."

"I can't do it Willow, I just can't do it!"

"Why Buffy?"

"Because I just can't!"

"But Buffy&"

"But nothing," Buffy exclaimed, "I'm not going to see her and that's 
fina!"

"Buffy," Willow pleaded.

"Wills you're my friend, and I can respect it if you want to forgive 
Faith but I'm not going to," Buffy stated turning away from Willow 
and Tara, "This conversation is over."

Willow looked over at Tara in desperation, "What do we do now?"

Tara wrapped her arm around Willow, "There's nothing we can do, and 
she's not going to listen."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Buffy waited for Willow and Tara to leave. She walked over towards 
her desk, tears forming in her eyes. She clenched her fist tightly 
then punched the top of her desk so hard that it broke in half 
<Damn! After all this time, why now>.


Act Six: Tara


Why does Buffy have to be so stubborn. She wouldn't even listen to 
us," Willow blurted out as soon as Tara had shut the door to their 
room.

Tara saw how frustrated their confrontation with Buffy had made her 
girlfriend. She walked over to Willow and pulled her into a 
comforting hug, "Give her time, from everything you told me Faith 
hurt a lot of people."

"I know, she hurt me too, but I forgave her. It was hard to do but I 
did it. Why can't Buffy just go see her?"

"But you didn't want to even go see her at first, you gave the same 
arguments that Buffy did."

"But I still went," Willow retorted.

"Only after I convinced you to do it and we cast a spell."

Willow rested her head on Tara's shoulder, "I know. I had just hoped 
we would be able to convince Buffy to go."

"Faith betrayed her, tried to kill her friends, stole her body, and 
hit her Mom while Dawnie was in the house, Buffy's not going to go 
running up to LA just because we tell her she could."

"We just didn't tell her to go, we went there first, we talked to 
her, we made sure Faith wasn't just pulling the wool over Angels eyes 
again."

"It's going to take Buffy awhile, we shouldn't have excepted her to 
listen the first time."


"But we're her friends. Buffy knows that I wouldn't do anything that 
might hurt her. Why won't she believe me," Willow sobbed, "Why won't 
she trust us?"

"She does trust us Willow," Tara replied, "it's Faith she doesn't 
trust."

"I know, I just wished she would have listened," Willow 
sighed, "Maybe I should have told her what we overheard?"

"It would have only freaked her out, and probably ruined any chance 
of any of us getting her to go to LA."

Willow lifted her head up of Tara's shoulder and stared lovely into 
hr girlfriend's eyes, "Tara you know I kinda of love you."

"I kinda of love you too."

Willow took Tara's chin in her hand and kissed the blonde Wicca 
Tenderly on the lips, "Thanks."

"That was nice," Tara softly replied, "But what are you thanking me 
for?"

"For being her for listening, plus like a dozen other things that 
make me love you even more."

Tara ran her hands through Willow's hair and returned her lovers 
kiss. The two of them then just stood there in the middle of the 
room, holding one another lost in the moment.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Buffy looked at the remains of her desk and frowned, She had done a 
lot of thinking why on patrol and new that the desk hadn't deserved 
to get smashed like that. She also realized that she was going to 
have to apologize to Willow and Tara in the morning, neither of her 
friends getting yelled at like that, it wasn't their fault that Faith 
was somehow able to trick them.

She walked over to the broken desk and began picking up the pieces, 
<Just when I was starting to get over everything she did, this has to 
happen>.

Knock&Knock

Buffy tossed a couple of the smaller pieces of the desk in the 
wastebasket and headed over to the door.

"Hi, Buffy, can I come in," Tara nervously asked.

"Okay, but we're not talking about Faith, I don't want to argue 
again."

Tara stepped into Buffy's dorm room, "Good because I'm not her to 
talk to you about her."

Buffy looked at Tara with a slightly confused look on her face as she 
shut the door, "Tara it's kinda late, can't whatever you have to say 
wait to morning?"

"Not really," Tara responded, "It's about Willow."

"Willow? Is something wrong,? Is she okay," Buffy asked in a 
panicked voice.

"She's okay, I slipped out after she fell asleep to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Because she was so upset it to forever for me to get her calmed 
down."

"Tara, I sorry, I didn't mean to upset Willow, it's just that&"

"Tara walked over to the slayer and put her hand on the blonde's 
shoulder, I know Buffy, so does Willow. It's just the whole argument 
got her really upset."

Tara glanced over at the broken desk then turned back to Buffy, "It 
looks like it got you pretty upset too."

Buffy walked over to a chair and motioned Tara to sit on her 
bed, "Yeah it did. I'll tell Willow I'm sorry in the morning."

"That's good, I think she'll be happy to hear that, "Tara 
replied, "but you know she's gonna want to talk about Faith again.  
Willow can be pretty persistent when she wants to be."

"I know Tara but I just can't do it."

"Because it hurts to talk about it," Tara asked.

"Yeah. Look you seem to understand were I'm coming from on this, 
maybe you could talk to Willow, I really don't ant to get in any more 
arguments with you two."

"I know you don't, but Willow seems pretty much set on trying to get 
you to go to LA."

"That's not good," Buffy replied wondering how she was going to 
handle this situation with her best friend.

"No it's not. I ended up making out with Willow for like half a hour 
to finally get her all the way calmed down. Not that I mind, because 
I am always up for making out with Willow but now I am going to be 
late on my psych paper that I should have been working on."

Tara," a rather stunned Buffy exclamed.

"Yes?"

"You're talking about making out with Willow."

"Your point being," Tara asked, <It's working, I almost have her 
where I need her>.

"It's just surprising, that's all"

<Just a little further>, "And why is that?"

"Because you never talk about that kinda of stuff, you always seem 
well&"

"Shy?"

"I didn't want to say it," Buffy reluctantly admitted.

"It's okay, I know I'm shy," Tara answered pausing for a 
moment, "It's taken me a long time to get to this point. A few 
months ago I couldn't have gotten it out without stuttering and you 
know why?"

"Why?"

Because I changed. I owe a big part of that to Willow, she helped me 
grow, gave me courage to be more open."

Suddenly Buffy found herself feeling like a small fish on a big 
hook, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because people change Buffy, it happens every day. I met Willow, 
and she changed my life, because of her I have more confidence and 
friends than I ever had before. You might think this is kinda of 
crazy, you might not even like to hear it but look around you.  
Willows not the same girl you knew in high school, she's changed a 
lot 
since we met."

Tara got up from her chair and walked over to were Buffy was 
sitting, "Willow told me how you where when you first came to 
Sunnydale, so you've changed a lot to. Everyone changes Buffy, look 
at Xander, he's grown a lot more mature over the last year, Dawns 
growing up, Anya used to be a vengeance demon and now she's 
hopelessly in love with Xander."

"Where's are this going," Buffy asked fearing she already knew the 
answer.

"Buffy if all those people can change so can Faith. I know you don't 
want to hear that, for some reason it's easier for you to think of 
her as the dark slayer than some one who wants redemption. I don't 
know why but you do."

"Th-that's not true," Buffy stammered.

"I think it is. I saw it in you're eyes when Willow was talking to 
you earlier and I can hear it in you're voice. Buffy Faith has 
changed. You could go and see it for yourself but you don't want to."

I can't&"

"Buffy no one can make you go, that's something you have to do on 
your own, so I'm not even going to try, but you're my friend, and I 
want to help."

"Help," a puzzled Buffy asked, "With what?"

"Buffy whatever it is that makes it so you can't accept Faith 
changing, it's holding you back. It doesn't matter if you ever go 
see her, but as long as whatever it is that makes you unable to 
accept that she might be able to change is still there it's gonna eat 
at you. I want to help you face that if you'll let me."

Buffy looked up at Tara unsure what to say, unsure if she should tell 
anyone what she was feeling.

"Buffy, please let me help."

"I, don't know if I can, it's so hard."

"You have to try Buffy, you'll never get over whatever it is if you 
don't"

Buffy lowered her head and replied in a voice barely above a 
whisper, "It's Faith she hurt me so bad, I'm afraid if I go see her 
she'll only hurt me again."

"Faith hurt a lot of people Buffy, but she has changed, you got to 
give her another chance."

"I gave her lots of chances, and I got burned every time, I don't 
know 
if I can take it if I let hear get close again."

"We'll be there with you, if you want some of the others could come 
along to. They know what she was like, they know what she did to 
hurt you."

"No they don't," Buffy cried, "I never told anyone what she did to 
me."

Tara knelt down in front of Buffy and placed her hand on top the 
slayer's hand, "What did she do Buffy, you can tell me."

"I'm not sure if I can."

"You'll never know unless you try."

Buffy took a deep breath, "When she hurt me it was different than 
when she hurt everyone else."

"Because you're a slayer?"

"No, that's not it," Buffy relied, her eyes filling with tears as the 
painful memories swept to the front of her mind.

"Then what is it?"

"She broke my heart Tara. I loved her and she broke my heart."





Act Seven: Confessions


Tara took a moment to get over the initial shock of Buffy's 
revelation, "She broke your heart?"

Buffy looked at Tara but didn't say a word, she didn't 
have to her tear filled eyes told Tara, gave Tara her answer, "I'm 
sorry I didn't know."

"No one did," Buffy softly sobbed.

<What do I do now, I wasn't expecting anything like this,> "Buffy, do 
you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know if I can, or even if I should."

"You look at you, it's preventing you from going to LA to see if what 
me and Willow said was true. It's practically tearing you up inside."

"It still hurts Tara. It shouldn't but it does," Buffy cried

"You never talked about it, you've kept it all locked up inside you," 
Tara gently spoke putting her hand comfortably on the slayers 
shoulders, "Buffy, you're never gong to be able to get past this if 
you can't open up about it. If you want, I'm here to listen."

Buffy looked up at Tara and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Okay but, 
you'd better call Willow, she's gonna want to hear this and I don't 
know if I can talk about it twice."

Tara walked over to Buffy's phone, picked it up and dialed, "Willow, 
it's Tara."

"Tara, where are you, is everything okay?"

"I'm okay. Willow, I'm at Buffy's..."

"Buffy's, what are you doing there?"

"After you fell asleep I decide to give it another shot..."

"Did she listen," Willow hopefully asked

"Yeah, she listened."

"Then she's going to LA?"

"Not exactly, but I have a idea why she doesn't want to go."

"What's that?"

"From what she just said I think she was in love with Faith."

"Oh my God! Give me ten minutes and I'll be there." 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Willow and Tara sat on the edge of the bed and watched Buffy as she 
fidgeted in her chair. Neither one of them was sure what to say so 
they where sitting there giving her all the time she needed.

Buffy took several deep breaths. <Why after all this time am I doing 
this?> She rocked back in her chair and looked straight at Willow and 
Tara, "I don't know where to start."

"Tara said that Faith broke your heart," Willow replied in an effort 
to help Buffy open up.

Buffy felt her entire body tense up as her eyes started to tear up 
for the second time that evening, "I&I loved her&but&"

Willow and Tara got up and went over to Buffy. Willow placed her 
hand on Buffy's shoulder, "It's going to be okay, me and Tara are 
here for you."

"Thanks," Buffy said, "She hurt me Wills, hurt me bad. When Angel 
came back and said that Faith had changed and that I should go see 
her&it all came back; everything we had, everything that happened, 
and it hurt just like it was yesterday. I thought I was over it but 
I was wrong," Buffy cried, "God why did I have to be wrong? Why 
can't I get over this?"

"I don't know Buffy, but I'm willing to try and find out if you'll 
let me," Willow paused for a moment and knelt down in front of 
Buffy, "What happened?"

"She broke my heart," Buffy softly replied, "I loved her, I thought 
she loved me but she didn't."

"Are you sure she didn't," Willow asked, her mind replying what they 
had heard at the hospital.

"Yeah, I am. If she loved me like I loved her she would have never 
sided with the Mayor."

"Maybe she was just confused, people do strange things when they're 
confused."

"I was confused! I loved her but I didn't know how everyone would 
take that, thought I might lose my friends, I was afraid that Mom and 
Dawn wouldn't understand, that somehow they would love me less 
because of it. I didn't know what to do, all that I really knew is 
that I loved her, so you can't tell me that maybe she was confused, 
so was I, and you didn't see me running away to the dark side did 
you?!"

"Buffy I'm not trying to make excuses for her hurting you&I only want 
to help," Willow replied in a comforting voice.

"I know..it's just that..it's&"

"Hard," Tara replied, "You felt like a outcast, afraid to tell 
anyone, afraid that they wouldn't understand you."

Buffy looked over at Tara and simply nodded her head.

"I have no idea what it must have been like for you but I know sorta 
what you're talking about. I was afraid to tell anyone that I 
thought I was part demon, you guys where the best friends I had ever 
had," Tara wrapped her arms around Willows waste before 
continuing, "and Willow is the first person that really understood 
and loved me. I was afraid that if I told anyone what my family had 
said you would desert me, but you didn't."

Tara let go of Willow and placed her hand on Buffy's right 
shoulder, "You're our friend Buffy, no matter what happens, no matter 
what you tell us, nothings going to change that."

Willow moved over next to Tara and placed her hand on Buffy's other 
shoulder, "She's right you know Buffy, you've been there so many 
times for us, let us help you with this."

"Thanks guys," Buffy replied wiping tears from her eyes, "It really 
means a lot."

Neither one of the witches said a word they just continued to stand 
there comforting Buffy the best they knew how and giving her time to 
gather her thoughts.

The slayer took a deep breath and looked up at her two friends, "I 
don't know if I can do this."

"It's always going to be there, haunting you if you can't face it 
Buffy," Willow replied, "We here for you, you got to try."

"Okay," Buffy answered, taking several deep breaths, <Here goes 
everything>, "I loved her, I thought she loved me. At least that's 
what she told me. I mean I was scared, but it seemed not to matter.  
After everything that happened with Angel I was pretty sure that I 
couldn't love again but Faith changed that. We would hold hands on 
patrol, or kiss and it was like for a little while everything was 
right in the world."

Buffy took another deep breath and there was a hint of defeat in her 
voice when she continued to speak, "Then it happened&everything 
changed."

"The Deputy Mayor," Willow questioned.

"No, things started to change before that," Buffy signed, "I should 
have know something was wrong but I was afraid to face it, afraid 
that she didn't love me like she said she did. I would tell her I 
loved her and she wouldn't say anything. The Deputy Mayor thing only 
made it worse. I tried everything I could think of to help her, I 
held her, told her it was going to be okay but she was so distant, so 
cold. I should have done more, I should have tried harder."

"Buffy you can't blame yourself."

"Yes I can. Maybe I messed something up, maybe I missed something.  
I should have tried harder, I should have tried to be there more but 
I wasn't and she left me."

Tears started to roll down Buffy's cheeks, "It hurt when Angel left 
but I got over it. Faith helped me get over that and then she left, 
when she turned against me it hurt like nothings ever hurt before. I 
wanted to reach out to her but instead I tried to kill her."

"She didn't give you much of a choice."

"And what if she did, what if I missed it. I loved her I was suppose 
to be there for her but I let her down so she turned evil and tried 
to kill us all."

Willow comfortingly hugged her best friend, "It wasn't your fault 
Buffy."

"I don't know that Wills! I just don't know that. I tried so hard 
to make it work with Faith but it didn't. When she came out of 
comma I was ready to give her a second chance, but she stole my 
body. Not only did she hit my Mom but Dawn was upstairs at the 
time."

Buffy lowered her head, "She tried to take everything from me and if 
Tara hadn't of figured it out she would have."

"She's not that person anymore Buffy, she's changed."

"She can't change, can't you see that. Everyone I have been with 
since Faith has been like a plant."

"A plant," Willow and Tara both asked at the same time.

"Yeah a plant, you can have a plant and it's nice but it's not like a 
puppy. You love a puppy, but a puppy can hurt you."

"And a plant can't hurt you," a confused Willow replied, still trying 
to figure out what Buffy was talking about.

"Right Parker, he used me, and it hurt a little but I didn't love 
him. Riley he loved me but I didn't love him. He was a plant, nice 
to have around, but no love. I know it was wrong to do that to him 
but I'm so afraid to open myself again, what if I get hurt like Faith 
hurt me."

Desperation filled the slayer's face as she pleaded with the two 
witches, "She can't change, not now, I can't afford it, I can't face 
her. I loved her and all she did was hurt me."

"Buffy, you don't have to give her another chance, all you have to do 
is go see her."

"I can't Willow, I would like to but I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't know&It's so hard to say&it's&it's&"

"Do you still love her, Buffy," Tara asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore."

Tara squeezed Willow's hand and whispered to her girlfriend, "You're 
going to have to tell her."

"Tara are you nuts, you just heard what she said happened."

"I know, that's why you have to tell her. If were still going to try 
and get her to go to LA we're going to have tell her everything."

"She's gonna freak out, I mean she loved Faith, If we tell her what 
we heard she might never go, and then she won't have any closures."

"And if she doesn't know and Faith happens to be talking to her 
picture when we get there. We owe it to Buffy to let her know, it 
wouldn't be fair to her if we didn't"

"I thought you said it wasn't good idea to tell her."

"That's before we knew that Buffy was in love with Faith."

Willow looked over at Buffy who was intently watching the two 
witches, "You might want to sit down, there's something you need to 
know."

Buffy saw Willow had put on her resolve face, <This isn't good>, she 
walked over to her chair and sat down and waited for her friend to 
speak, <How come I don't think I'm gonna like this.>

Willow sat down on the edge of the bed next to Tara, <Goddess please 
don't let her freak out to much>, "Buffy when we went and saw Faith 
she was talking to a picture, I wanted to say something but Angel had 
us stay quite, I know we shouldn't have eased dropped but I'm glad we 
did."

<Faith was talking to a picture, Oh my God, she's changed alright, 
she's completely lost it>.

"Buffy about the picture&"

<God Willow please don't say what I think your going to say, please 
don't say it.>

"Willow to a deep breath and squeezed Tara's hand, "It was kinda a 
picture of you."

<God Will's I didn't want you to say that, why'd you have to say 
that>, "M-m-m-my picture?"

Willow and Tara both could see the strange mixture of shock and 
confusion that was filling the slayer's face. "Buffy, I know this is 
hard, but there's more."

<More there can't be more, I can't handle more, God why the hell does 
there have to be more>.

"Buffy?"

<God why is this happening, I didn't want this to happen, why I did I 
tell them all that, why am I listening>, "Yeah?"

"Are you OK," a very concerned Willow asked.

"Not really, I don't want this to happen, it can't be happening but 
it is. So I guess you should tell me what she said," <Why the hell 
did I just say that, I'm sure I don't want to know what she said>.

"Buffy, I..we..heard Faith talking to your picture. She said that 
she was sorry, that she wished that she could take it back, that she 
knew you couldn't forgive her," Willow comfortably took Buffy's 
hand, "She's really sorry Buffy, she wasn't lying when she said it, 
she didn't even know we where there"

<Shit, why'd she have to say that>.

"Buffy, are you going to be okay?"

<Damn this isn't fair, this isn't suppose to be happening.>

"Buffy?"

"Still here Wills, it's just that I wasn't ready for this. She's not 
suppose to change you know, it's not supposed to happen. Faith's 
suppose to stay bad, it's not suppose to happen," Buffy sobbed.

"But it did happen Buffy, she's changed."

Buffy looked up at Willow and Tara she glazed into both their eyes 
stopping dead on Willow's, "There's more isn't there?"

"Yeah&Buffy when she didn't know we where there I heard her say that 
she loved you."

<Fuck&Fuck. I didn't need to hear that, what the hell is happening 
hear,> Buffy got up from her chair and walked over to the window 
without saying a word, <God, why the hell is this happening>.

Tara stared at Willow, her eyes easily revealing the shock she was 
going through about what just had happened, "why'd you have to tell 
her that?"

"She had to know."

"She had to know that Faith was sorry, that she wished she could take 
it back, that she regretted hurting her. She didn't need to know 
that Faith still had feelings for her."

"Tara, Buffy has a right to know everything."

"But not all at once, maybe the love part could had been eased I in 
later."

"Like when? When we are in LA before she sees Faith, it would only 
make her leave," Willow exclaimed

Tara gave Willow a hug, "I know, but look at her, she looks&"

"Broken," Willow interrupted.

"Yeah, she does."

Willow and Tara joined Buffy over by the window. The slayer was 
staring out across the campus, not saying a word, <No&this isn't 
happening, it can't be happening.>

Buffy turned around and faced her two friends, "I can't deal with 
this."

"You can Buffy I know you can, plus we'll be there for you."

"I can't do it Wills, I can't afford to let her back into my life."

"You don't have to do that Buffy, all you have to do is go see her."

"If I see her, I'll be letting her back in. I just can't do it."

Willow reached out and placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder, "You have 
to do it."

"Why do I have to do it, can you tell me that," Buffy snapped.

"Because it's the only way you can move on. If you don't do this 
Buffy you're never going to be able to put any of this behind you," 
Tara answered.

"She's right Buffy, don't do it for Faith, or us, do it for 
yourself," Willow added.

Buffy slouched back against the windowsill, "I don't know if I can."

"We'll help you Buffy. Your not going to have to do this alone."

"Thanks Wills, but it's just that, well I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That she'll get back in, that we'll get close. I never loved anyone 
as much as Faith and I don't want to get hurt again, I don't think I 
could take it."

"Buffy me and Tara are your friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you trust us?"

"Of course I do. Why are even asking?"

"Because I need you to trust us. Come to LA with Tara and me, I 
promise we won't let you get hurt."

Buffy took Willow's hand, then Tara's, "Promise?"

"Cross my heart," Willow answered.

"Me too," Tara Added.

Buffy thought about it for a moment, "OK, I'll go with you, but don't 
expect me to forgive her or anything."


Act Eight: The visit


LA&.

Buffy stood next to Tara and Willow in the hospital corridor, she had 
been on edge every since they and left Sunnydale. When they got to 
LA, they had stopped by Angel's to see if anything had changed with 
Faith, which it hadn't. He had wanted to come with them to the 
hospital but Buffy had put her foot down, this was going to be hard 
enough with out Angel standing over their shoulders.

Buffy looked at Tara and Willow, her eyes pleading for help, "I'm not 
going to be able to do this."

"Buffy, we're here for you," Willow reassured the slayer, "we'll help 
you get through this."

"It's to early, she's probably still asleep, maybe we could come back 
later?"

"It's ten in the morning, I'm pretty sure she's awake by now."

"Lunch, it's almost lunchtime, we could get something to eat then 
come back," Buffy replied, her voice starting to get desperate.

"We can have a late lunch," Tara replied, "You need to do this.

'Yeah, I know&Wait we should get her something, I think I saw a cad 
shop on our way here."

Willow grabbed Buffy's hand, "You're stalling."

"I&I&I&"

"Buffy I'm here, Tara's here&we've got you covered, we're not gonna 
let you get hurt."

"I don't know what to do,"

"Just talk to her."

"I don't know if I can."

"Buffy you can do it, I know you can," Willow replied.

"And if I can'?"

"Then Me and Tara will help you."

Buffy smiled at her two friends, "You guys are the greatest you know."

"Yeah, we know. Now lets go and get this over with," Willow answered.

Buffy nervously followed Willow and Tara into Faith's room, a nurse 
was putting restraints on the brunet and turned around and looked at 
them for a moment before going beck to her task.

You have some visitors Faith so I'll just finished this up and get 
out of here," the nurse replied as she finished putting the restrain 
around Faiths waste. The nurse then walked over to Buffy and he 
others; "She gets scared and gets out of bed without any one around.  
It's not safe for her to try and wonder around without help right 
now, just this morning orderly found her just before she could get 
the door to the stairwell open."

"The stairs," asked Willow, trying to keep her excitement over the 
idea of a Blind Faith trying to go down stairs to a minim.

"Yeah she had a nightmare, that someone was coming to get her, so she 
tried to get away," The nurse replied for a moment, "Don't worry 
nightmares are normal for someone whose been through something as 
traumatic as losing their sight. The only reason we restrained her 
is so we can't wonder off on her own, she could hurt herself. She's 
gonna be Okay."

Faith had her fist nervously clenched around the restraining strap.  
She hated it when she didn't know who was in the room with her, it 
could be anyone. What if a vamp came, or the council, or just some 
nut. She could feel herself starting to break out into a cold sweat 
as the footsteps of her visitors grew closer. <Who's there, what do 
you want with me, Why the hell can't I fuckin' see you! >

Willow took a chair next to Faiths bed and motioned for Tara and 
Buffy to do the same, "Faith, it's me&Willow."

"Red, you came back," a rather relieved Faith replied.

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, I didn't think you meant it though."

"I did," replied Willow, "And I didn't come alone."

"You didn't."

"No, I didn't"

<Maybe she brought Buffy with her, no that's not possible there is no 
way B would come see me, not after everything I did>.

"Hi Faith," Tara replied, holding tightly onto Willow's hand.

"Tara, right," Faith responded, hoping she got Willow's girlfriend's 
name right.

"That's me."

<Yeah what was I thinking, of course B's not gonna come>, "I'm glad 
you two could make it."

The room filled with a uneasy silence as Willow and Tara waited for 
Buffy to speak up, but the slayer just sat there staring at Faith 
lost in her own thought, <She looks so helpless, and she seems to be 
really glad that Willow and Tara came to see her. <Get a grip on 
yourself Summers, you can't afford this, you can't let her back in, 
not after what she did, you just can't risk it again>.

Willow and Tara both turned to Buffy and looked at her, their 
expressions saying well go ahead and speak already.

<God what if they came here to let me know that they changed their 
minds and decide they can't forgive me. Can't say I blame them, I 
don't deserve it but it did feel good to her Red say it. >.
Willow leaned over to Buffy and whispered, "Say something already."

<God, I don't know if I can do this>, "I don't know if I can," Buffy 
faintly replied.

"Buffy, you can do this, I know you can," Willow whispered in the 
slayers ear.

<They're whispering, whispering is not a good thing. I think I heard 
Red mention B. Oh my God what if something happened to B.  
Something's happen to B and they came here to tell me. What was it, 
is she Okay&why aren't they saying anything, what's the hell is going 
o&Where's B, is she Okay>.

Buffy could feel her heart beating a mile a minute, every second that 
ticked by seemed like an eternity as she sat their watching Faith, 
<She looks so helpless like this, they way she's lying there, her 
hair falling against the pillow&Damn Buffy don't do this, don't let 
this happen, not this time>,  

Buffy to several deep breaths, <You can do this, all you have to do 
is say Hi, you can do this>, "Faith"

"B?" <God&Oh God, she came. She actually came>.

"Yeah, it's me."

<Oh my I can't breath, I got to breath&what do I say, I rehearsed 
this so many times but I don't know what to say>.

<God Buffy come say something intelligent for Christ sake>.

"B, I&I", <God why is this so Fuckin' hard, it wasn't this hard to 
tell Red I was sorry, but this isn't red is it, it's B and that makes 
everything different>, "I'm&"

<Oh my what she gonna say, is she gonna say she's sorry, ask me to 
forgive her. Please don't say it, I'm not ready for this>.

"B, I don't know how to say this and I know you're probably not gonna 
believe me but I'm&sorry," faith sobbed.

Buffy sat there in her chair staring at Faith, unable to speak, 
<Damn, why did she have to say that, why does she have to look like 
she means it. God I'm not ready for this, what the hell do I do now>.

Faith was openly crying as she continued to speak, "B I know you 
probably hate me but that's OK I deserve that. I-if I could take 
back&. everything I would. God B I never wanted to hurt you, I don't 
even know why I did everything I did, guess I was pretty screwed up 
in the head&I&.I&.I just want to let you know I'm sorry."

"Faith, I don't hate you," Buffy meekly replied.

"You don't?"

"No, but I&"

"Can't forgive me," Faith replied lowering her head in defeat.

Willow and Tara found themselves sitting on the edge of her seat, 
staring at Buffy as the petite slayer thought about her answer.

<I can't do this not now, why the hell did she have to go change, why 
the hell is this happening>, "I'll forgive you, it's just I'm not 
ready for this, everything's so confusing&Faith I need time."

<Did she say she would eventually forgive me, maybe there's hope, 
> "Take all the time you need B, <lease just don't take to long, I 
don't know how long I can stand it knowing that your gonna forgive me 
one of these days>.

"Thanks," Buffy replied getting up out of her chairs and heading out 
of her room.

Willow gave Faith's hand a tight squeeze, "We'll talk to her."

"No," Faith replied, "please don't, I don't even deserve her coming 
here, not after what I did to her."

"Faith you've changed, I know that and so does Buffy."

"It's not that simple Red."

"I know, she told us everything."

"She did," Faith gasped, "and you still came?"

"Yeah we did. Look I know you made lots of bad mistakes and Buffy 
didn't deserve the way you treated her, but that's in the past."

Fresh tears began to roll down Faith's cheeks, "I don't understand, 
why are you doing this for me."

"I'm doing this for both of you, there is no way either one of you 
are going to be able to get on with your lives if you keep holding on 
to the past."

"Thanks Red."

"Not a problem, I'll see you in a few weeks."

You mean that," Faith exclaimed.

"Sure do, maybe I can talk some since into Buffy and you guys can 
move on."

"Thanks," <but what if I don't want to move on, what if I want 
another chance with B. But that's just dreamin' isn't it, she's 
already given me to many chances, and I've blown them all>.


Act Nine: Fear


LA&

Seeing Faith had emotionally drained Buffy, she had expected to see 
the same Faith who had tried to kill her friends, betrayed her and 
used her, but she hadn't. Instead she saw a Faith sorry for what she 
had done, she was scared and asking for her forgiveness. She knew 
Faith had meant it when she had said she was sorry but Buffy hadn't 
been able to forgive her. <I wanted to forgive her, but I couldn't.  
More importantly why did I want to forgive her, why did I want to 
hug her and tell her everything's was going to be Okay. God I think 
I'm losing it, I can't let her get to me, I can't let her back 
in, 'cause if I do I'll only get hurt again>.

Buffy got up and looked at her suitcase laying in the corner of the 
room, she walked over and went out into the lobby of Angel's office 
where Willow and Tara where waiting for her, <Why am I doing this, I 
should get my stuff and be heading back to Sunnydale, but I'm not.  
Instead I'm going back to the hospital with Willow and Tara again to 
see Faith. Why am I doing this, it's only gonna give her another 
chance to get to me, I can't let this happen but I'm going back, why? 
>

"Can't I just go back to my room, I don't like it out here," Faith 
pleaded as the nurse led her down the hallway.

"No. You need to get out of your room and get used to moving around 
some so we can start rehabilitation," the nurse replied.

"I don't see why. I was doing fine with you walking me around my 
room."

"Walking around your rooms one thing, but walking with me in the 
hallways another. You have to trust me Faith it's a big step for 
you."

The nurse tightened her grip on Faiths hand trying to comfort the 
girl, "I'm right here, nothings going to happen."

"But it's late, I already had supper so it means it's getting dark," 
Faith Answered her voice laced with panic.

"Where in a hospital, you're perfectly safe," The nurse reassured.

<That's what you think, you don't know about them. They could be 
anywhere, waiting for a chance to take out a slayer. You don't know 
what their like&Fuck their gonna find out, their gonna find out and 
come and kill me. God I got to get the hell back to my room. >

Faith could her voices all around her as her and the nurse moved 
through the hallway, off to her left someone was talking about going 
to Vegas next month, she could her something about making sure the 
charts where updated to her right, <Fuck any of them could be vamps, 
what the hell am I gonna do when they come. Yeah right, I gonna 
fuckin' die because I can't see them coming, God why'd she have to 
drag me out of my room&. Damn I wish B was here, it wouldn't be so 
bad if B was here, and she could take care of the vamps when they 
come. What the hell am I thinkin'? Why would B want to protect me? >

"Hey Nancy did you need to check this out," A male voice yelled out 
as Faith and the nurse neared the nurses station.

Nancy stopped, "Just a sec," she led Faith over to the edge of the 
hall, "I've got to check on something."

<What? You can't fuckin' leave me here. >

"I'll be back in just a sec."

<Please don't leave me, not out here>.

"Everything will be okay, just stay right here."

<Fuck this can't be happening.> Faith could her the nurse walking 
away, leaving her alone, <Why the hell is this happening she's not 
suppose to leave me like this&.God what the hell am I suppose to do 
now? >

Faith leaned back against the wall, her body trembling. All around 
her she could hear people speaking, but who where they, what did they 
want. She tightly hugged herself, <Your not suppose to leave me, get 
the fuck back over here, I want to go back to my room. >

It seemed like time was almost standing still as Faith waited for the 
nurse to return. She began rocking back and forth on her feet, her 
fear mounting as each second ticked by, then she felt it, something 
she hadn't felt since she had went to prison, <Fuck no&There're here. 
>

She quickly reached back with her hand and found the wall, <I got to 
get out of here&.God, I wish B was here, don't want to go out like 
this, Fuck! >

She began fumbling along the wall, searching for a door so she could 
hide but instead she came across a open space, <Great another damn 
hallway, what am I gonna do now&. Damn it's getting closer, I can 
feel it. > Faith reached around the corner and almost lost her 
balance as she headed down the hallway, feeling the wall as she went.

Buffy stopped dead in her tracts when they reached Faiths ward, her 
eyes quickly scanned the area as all her slayer senses kicked into 
over drive.

"Buffy are you okay," Willow asked, afraid the blonde slayer had lost 
her nerve and wanted to leave.

"Wills, you and Tara stay here."

"Buffy, what's wrong?!"

Instead of answering Willow the slayer pulled a stake out of her 
jacket and took off down the hallway in a full sprint. Willow and 
Tara looked on in horror as they saw Buffy running towards Faith who 
had a vampire walking up behind her looking as if it had just won the 
lottery.

Faith felt a hand grab her from behind and spin her around, "What do 
we have her," the vamp hissed.

She felt his other hand grip her firmly by the collar, "I always 
wondered what slayer blood tasted like, guess I'm about to find out."

Tears streamed down Faiths face as it was overtaken by a expression 
of sheer terror, <God, I don't want to go like this&Why the Fuck did 
they have to leave me alone. >

Faith braced her self for her final moment on earth but it never 
came. Instead of set of sharp fangs piercing her neck, she found her 
self being pulled into a hug. Her body was still shaking as she 
openly cried in her savors arms.

"It's okay Faith, I got ya."

"B?"

"Yeah," Buffy softly replied as a wide range of emotions raced 
through her mind.

"They left me B, they took me out of my room and left me out here," 
Faith cried.

"It's okay now."

"They left me, I was here alone, then the vamp, I couldn't see him B&
I couldn't see him and I was gonna die."

"But you didn't," Buffy replied, "I staked him, he can't hurt you 
now."

"What about he next one," Faith cried, "What if they leave me alone 
again and another one comes?"

"I'm not gonna let that happen," Buffy replied in full slayer mode.

"You can't stop them all B."

"We'll see about that," Buffy answered. The slayer turned to Willow 
and Tara who had had ran up behind her and Faith, "Let's go find some 
nurses."

Willow nervously looked at the slayer, "Buffy, what are you going to 
do?"

"I'm gonna find out what kind of place this is."

Buffy marched down the hall supporting Faith as the brunette slayer 
leaned up against her. Her mind was flooded with emotions. She was 
feeling her old feelings for Faith coming back as her logic screamed 
at her not to let Faith get close again. There was also a deep 
desire to protect Faith along with her friends, fear of where all 
this might lead, and a faint hint of happiness as Faith leaned up 
against her. But none of that mattered. All these emotions where 
being over ridden by rage. <How the hell could they leave her out in 
a hall by herself? >

Nancy and the other nurses where frantically looking for Faith when 
they spotted her being lead towards the nurses' station by a petite 
blonde. The nurses started to rush over to see if Faith was okay but 
stopped dead in their tracts when they saw the blondes eyes. They 
seemed to cut right through them like a two edged sword. The nurses 
took a few steps back as the blonde and Faith got closer to them, 
none of them could place it but their minds where screaming that 
there was defiantly something to be feared about the blonde.

Buffy stared at the nurses for a moment before bitterly speaking to 
them, "What kind of place is this?"

Nancy took a gulp of air as the blondes words sliced through 
her, "Uh&"

"Uh what," Buffy snapped, "You left her alone by herself in the hall, 
do you know how dangerous that is?!"

"I didn't think&"

"It's obvious you didn't think. Whose in charge here," Buffy 
demanded.

Buffy led Faith back to her room and helped her into bed, "I've got 
to go now, but I'll be back in a couple of days."

"What if they leave me alone again?"

"I don't think that's gonna happen," Willow answered.

"Yeah I think Buffy kinda scarred them," Tara added.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Buffy waited until the three of them got out of the hospital before 
saying anything else. She stopped and turned and faced her 
friends, "We've got to get her out of this place."

"So you had a change of heart," Willow inquired.

"I don't know," Buffy honestly answered, "All I know is I don't think 
I could live with myself if I don't help Faith." <Please don't ask 
me anymore about this, I'm not even sure what's going on or why I'm 
doing this>.

Willow and Tara both looked at Buffy and figured that it was best for 
now not to press her about what she was thinking.

"So what do we do now," Willow asked.

"We go back to Angel's and talk with him. I'm gonna need him to take 
care of some things for me. Then we go back home, I need to talk 
with my mom and Giles."

"Buffy, what are you planning?"

"I'll tell you when we get to Angel's."

Act 10: Making arrangements

LA&

Buffy stormed into Angel's office, "We need to talk. Now!"

Angel looked up at Buffy from behind his desk, the blonde slayers 
eyes where filled with determination, "Buffy is everything okay?"

"No it's not, you need to get Faith out of the hospital and quick."

"Buffy she need rehabilitation, you just can't yank her out of there."

"No she needs to get out of that place before she becomes vamp food, 
and you're gonna make it happen."

"Buffy what are you talking about," a very confused Angel asked.

"They left her alone in the hall, and a vamp almost got her. That's 
what I'm talking about. Now call whoever it is you have to call and 
get her out of that place."

"Buffy I could get Wesley and Gunn to stay at the hospital to watch 
her."

"NO you're going to get her out of the hospital and you're going to 
make it happen this week."

"Buffy it's not that easy, she just lost her sight. Faith's gonna 
need special therapy and medical care for a while."

"And she'll get it, just not in LA," Buffy replied never taking her 
eyes off of Angel.

Angel studied Buffy's eyes for a moment; she was more determined than 
he had ever seen her. He leaned back in his chair, and though about 
what Buffy had just said for a moment, if Buffy had made up her mind 
on something it was going to take an act of the Goddess to get her to 
change it. "Exactly where is she going to get rehabilitated then?"

"In Sunnydale, at the campus. They have a training school for the 
blind there."

"She's right," Willow exclaimed, "Me and Tara do volunteer work 
there."

"And you got her into there program," Angel inquired.

"No Willow's gonna do that."

"I am?"

"Yeah you are," Buffy replied.

"Buffy, I'm not sure if I can do that, they have a pretty long list 
to get in, plus I'm only a volunteer."

"Wills, what do you do for them?"

"Well we talk to the patients, walk with them, that kind of stuff."

"Willow, I know that you told me about it a have dozen times, I'm 
talking about the other stuff."

Willow and Tara's eyes widened, "Buffy I can't manipulate their 
computer to get Faith into the program."

Buffy walked over to Willow and put her hands on the redhead's 
shoulders, "Listen you got to do it, you saw what happened tonight, I 
can't protect her like this."

"Then let Angel do it," Willow replied

"Buffy, she's right. I can make sure no vamps get close to her," 
Angel added.

"That's not expectable," Buffy snapped back.

"And why not?"

"It's just not," Buffy, answered her voice full of frustration, "Look 
I told you what I need to happen, now please get it done."

"Buffy, look at me," Willow softly replied, "even if I get her into 
the program and Angel gets her released from the hospital it's still 
not going to work."

"Yes it will," Buffy demanded.

Tara placed her hands on Willows shoulder, "Buffy, Willow's right.  
The training school for the blind is kinda like a day care program, 
they don't have any facilities for her to live there."

"She could stay with Giles," Buffy answered.

"You've talked him about this already?"

"No."

"Buffy I don't want to be the downer here, but he could say no."

"He won't," Buffy confidently replied.

"And if he does," Willow replied trying to make Buffy understand 
exactly what it is she was asking of everyone.

"Then she can stay with my Mom and Dawn."

"Are you sure they would take her in."

"If they don't I'll get a cot to sleep on and put her up in my room," 
Buffy answered.

The blonde slayer looked around the room and saw all her friends 
where looking at her rather puzzled, "You all said you forgave her, 
if that's the case then do this for her," She walked up to Willow and 
Tara and looked them both in the eyes, her voice was filled with 
desperation, "Do this for me."

"Okay," Willow answered, "but I gotta know why you're doing this."

"Why is not important."

"Buffy after what you told me about your and Faith's past I think 
it's very important."

"No it's not, can we leave now there's a lot to get done."

Willow looked over at Tara as Buffy headed for the door, "Great she 
wants us to jump through hoops and isn't going to tell us why."


Sunnydale&.

Buffy sat in her dorm room staring at the wall, it had took a little 
convicting to get Giles to agree to let Faith stay at his place but 
she had done it, now all she needed to do is talk to her Mom and 
Dawn. <God I hope they don't ask me why I am doing this, hell I'm 
not even sure. I know I have to protect her, it's art of my duty, 
but there is more&.God why does there have to be more. You'd think 
after all this time I would have gotten over her but no, we can't 
have that can we. Fuck why do I still care about her, I don't want 
to get hurt again. Maybe I shouldn't do this; maybe I should let 
Angel handle things. >

Buffy got up off the edge of her bed and grabbed her jacket, <No I 
can't do that, I have to do this. Faith's my responsibility, I just 
can't allow myself to get close again, bit what if it happens, what 
if I fall for her again. Yeah right&fall for her again, hell I'm 
kidding myself, I never got over her in the first place&.God why do I 
have to do this to myself>.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Mom I needed to talk to you and Dawn," Buffy nervously spoke, taking 
a seat in the living room.

"About what honey?"

"Faith," <Here it goes Buffy just hope she doesn't bring up our 
past, 
why'd I have to tell her about me and Faith in the first place. >

"Oh," Joyce answered, waiting for the other shoe to drop, "Did 
everything go Okay in LA."

"There was a vamp at the hospital, I had to stake him before he could 
take her out."

"I see, she's okay now I take it."

"Yeah, but she's not safe there. That's what I wanted to talk to you 
guys about."

Buffy took a big gulp of air, "I know she hurt everyone, but she's 
different now. She's not the same Faith we used to know."

Joyce's voice was filled with motherly concern," Did you forgive her, 
is that what your trying to say?"

"No," <God why can't I say I forgave her&. I have I just can't bring 
myself to yell her, > "That's not it. I have to protect her and I 
can't do it with her in LA."


"You're bringing her to here?"

"No she's gong to be staying at Giles for awhile."

Joyce recalled all that Faith had done to them and how bad it had 
hurt Buffy the last time she had rolled into town, "Are you sure 
about this Honey?"

"No, I'm not."

Joyce saw the hurt that was filing her daughter's eyes, "Dawn could 
you go upstairs for awhile, I need to talk to your sister."

"But Mom I want to here what's going on," Dawn whined.

"Room, now."

"Okay," Dawn replied kicking her foot against the couch as she got up.

After Dawn had left Joyce got up, went, and sat next to Buffy.

"If you're not sure why are you doing this?'

"I have to do it."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just have to do it."

Joyce placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder, "Do you&still love her?"

<God why'd she have to ask that, > "I don't know," Buffy cried.

Joyce pulled her daughter into a hug, "Buffy you have to do whatever 
you feel like you have to do, just be careful, I don't want to see 
you get hurt like last time."


Act 11: Beginnings

Sunnydale:

Joyce sat a cup of tea down on the coffee table for Giles and took a 
seat across from him, "You said that you needed to talk to me about 
Buffy?"

"Quite right," Giles replied, "You see I think she might be making a 
mistake."

"About Faith?"

"Yes, I don't know if it's a good Idea for Buffy to do all of this, 
Faith might be better off in LA."

Joyce gave the watcher a puzzled look, "I thought you where all for 
this, after all you are letting her stay at your place."

"I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"Of course you did, it's not like Buffy twisted your arm and made you 
promise that Faith could stay there," Joyce paused for a 
moment, "She didn't do that&right?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just that well she is rather head 
strong and I couldn't get her to listen. If I hadn't said I would 
take Faith in Buffy would have probably had her staying in her dorm 
room on campus."

"So you said that Faith could stay with you."

"I couldn't have her staying in Buffy's dorm room, she has know idea 
how to keep care of someone with a handicap like that."

"And you do?"

"My little brother is blind, I helped my Mom raise him after our 
Father died.'

"I didn't know, I am sorry to hear that."

"It's quite all right, he turned out rather well, he's a professor at 
Oxford now, but that's beside the point, Buffy doesn't know what she 
is getting in to, it's a lot of work and their past history doesn't 
make it any better, maybe you could talk to her."

"And what makes you think she would listen to me?"

"You're her mother."

"Right, you do realize we are talking about Buffy Summers here. If 
she has 
made up her mind there is no way any of us are going to talk her out 
of it, besides I have already talked to her about it."

"And did se listen?"

"I listened," Joyce placed her cup of tea down on the coffee 
table, "You know she has a good idea here, it could work."

"I know it's just that I am worried about her motives."

"So am I, but it's something she has to do. All we can do is be 
there for her and help her through this."

"But all this is so sudden, a few days ago I though she was going to 
stake Angel in my living room for asking her to go to LA and see 
Faith and now she's making everyone jump through hoops to get Faith 
to Sunnydale. I know she's the slayer and she feels like she needs 
to protect Faith, I just don't understand why she has had this change 
of heart."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"He just said that it was something she had to do, I could tell there 
was more but didn't want to force the issue."

"Maybe you should talk to here again when she gets back from LA, tell 
her what you just told me."

"Do you think it would do any good?"

"I think it might do you both a lot of good."

LA:

Faith sat in her bed clinging onto the suitcase Angel had given her.  
She was glad to be getting out of the hospital, but she was also 
scared to be leaving it. Sure Angel would be there to help her but 
this was a big step. In prison she had always now what she was 
suppose to do and after her injury and begin released she had the 
hospital, where they brought her food, kept care of her, and gave her 
a routine. <God what am I thinking, why am I gonna miss this place, 
I should be glad to get out of it. Fuck I remember when I flew by 
the seat of my pants, I didn't need anyone to help me, but I could 
see then. Damn why'd this have to happen.>

"Angel, I guess I am ready, we can go now."

"No, we can't. Your rides not here yet."

"I though I was going back with you," a very confused Faith asked.

"No, I'm only here to see you off."

<Here to see me off, what the hell is happening, where are they 
taking me. Gods I don't like this, I want to get the hell out of 
here. What if they lock me up in a home or something, I don't want 
that, Thought I wanted routine but now I don't. I'm so confused, I 
don't know what to think any more. Fuck why is Angel doing this to 
me, where's Buffy, I need her to stop this, they can't lock me up 
again, fuck what the hell is going on.>.

Faith pulled her suitcase tightly against her, "I-I'm not going with 
you? Where exactly am I going," she replied in a near panic.

"Sunnydale," Angel answered.

"Why?"

"Maybe you should ask Buffy when she gets here."

Buffy? Buffy's coming to get me, to tale me back to Sunnydale," <I 
can't believe this is happening, Buffy's coming for me. I wouldn't 
have thunk it possible but Angel said she was coming. God why is she 
doing this, wait maybe it's a dream, don't think about it or it might 
go away>.

"Faith you're crying. Are you Okay," Angel asked as he went to wipe 
the tears of the brunette slayers cheek."

"What did you do," Buffy demanded as she walked into Faiths room with 
Willow and Tara right behind her.

Startled, Angel spun around to face Buffy, "I didn't do anything."

"Then why is she crying," Buffy inquired, her eyes locked on Angel 
and Faith.

<Oh My God she's here, Buffy here and she's gonna take me away from 
here&Breath, I gotta breath>.

Buffy walked over to Faiths bed and carefully put her hand on Faith's 
shoulder causing the brunette to flinch, "Faith, you Okay?" <God, 
why am I doing this, why am I letting her back in. What if I get 
hurt again. Damn I'm gonna do it I'm gonna let her back in, damn why 
am I doing this to myself, I can't afford to get hurt like that 
again>.

<She wants to know if I am Okay&damn Faith breath already, it's only 
Buffy. Yeah right and if it was anyone else I wouldn't be having 
this problem.>

Concern filled Buffy's face when Faith didn't answer, she sat down 
next to the brunette and Faith over next to her, "Are you Okay,"  
<I'm holding her, why am I holding her, I'm not suppose to let her 
back in but I want to, so I'm holding on to her. God I was only 
suppose to be doing this to protect her but I'm lying to myself, I'm 
doing it for me, for us&damn, I'm screwed>.

<Breath, you got to breath,> "I'm okay, I-I'm just glad to be 
getting out of here, <There that wasn't so hard>.

Buffy reluctantly let go of Faith and stood up. She took the 
brunette's suitcase from her, "Good, let's go home."

Faith felt Buffy take her hand and help her up, <Home&she said let's 
go home>.

Buffy led Faith over to a wheel chair and helped her into it.

B, I don't need this, I can walk if you'd help me."  

"It's some dumb hospital rule, they said you have to be taken out 
this way," Buffy replied as she handed Faith's suitcase to Willow.

"Okay," <I'm going home with Buffy, I don't know why but I am, maybe 
there is still hope for us>.



TBC&.