FIC: New Feelings (part 3 by Kimber)

[Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxxx>]

Willow's POV - Season one spoilers included.....but I guess you knew that <sheepish grin>
Usual disclaimers . . .I don't own them, wish I did!

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She?s saved my life a couple of times. It?s not every day you get attacked by a vampire,
you know. Wait, scratch that. This is Sunnydale. It is everyday you get attacked by a
vampire . . .just not until she came along. Don?t get me wrong, I?m not blaming her for
it. I mean, after all she saved me. Buffy transferred here about a month ago and ever
since then, my world?s been all askew. Before that my biggest worry was trying to get
Xander to pass math and hoping my parents don?t find out I watch the Snoopy Christmas
Special every year at his house. Now I worry about trying not to get bitten walking home
at night and I don?t mean by a stray dog. Giles said that we?re on top of a mystical
convergence of energies. The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del
Infierno'. Roughly translated, we live on The Hellmouth. It's a portal between this
reality and the next, and the vampires hope to open it. So, enter Buffy. I?ll have to
admit I judged her wrongly when I first met her. Wouldn?t you jump to conclusions about
the new girl if she was walking the halls with Cordelia? I shouldn?t let her get to me
though; Queen C and all of her little groupies. Buffy?s friendship with her lasted all of
two minutes after Buffy pinned her to the wall at the Bronze looking for me. It was
sweet, really. I met this nice guy, a.k.a. vampire . . . doesn?t it just figure that the
first guy interested in me is the walking dead? Anyway, he lured me away with promises of
ice cream with sprinkles and the next thing I know, he?s pushing me into this crypt in the
cemetery! Talk about bombing out on your first date. I don?t know what I would have done
if Buffy wasn?t there. She kicked some undead bootie, and for that I?m grateful. Now my
days are filled with school work, and my nights with research at the computer in the
library with Giles, Buffy and Xander. Hmm, Xander. I?ve pined away for him most of our
lives. We met when we were six, we were going out, but then he stole my Barbie doll and I
had to break up with him. I didn?t know what I would do with myself if Miss French, a.k.a
bug teacher, had eaten him for dinner. He?s great really, he?s my best friend and I love
him, he?s just kind of dense sometimes. Oh, I?ve dropped hints, trust me . . .I?ve
dropped anvils. Yet he still doesn?t notice me. He noticed Buffy, but who wouldn?t?
She?s very pretty. Blonde hair, hazel eyes and her body. . . magazine cover material all
the way. How could Xander NOT notice Buffy? I mean I noticed her and I?m not even like
THAT. You know, come to think of it, my Xander obsession has subsided a little since
Buffy?s been here. I suppose I just have other things to focus on now. We?re fighting
the good fight here, and Xander and I made it clear to Buffy and Giles that we wanted in.
Now I?m super computer research girl and instead of just being amused by hacking into the
city coroner?s office, I get to use my knowledge for good. Buffy doesn?t have to fight
alone and that?s an upside in itself. I get to fight along side of her, even if it is
with a computer, and I feel better knowing that she?s safer with the information I?ve
given her. I know we?ve only known each other for about a month now, but she?s quickly
becoming a serious part of my life. I don?t know what I?d do if something happened to
her. She?s just amazing. I never noticed that I had been walking through life in black
and white, but when she came here it was like POOF! Living in color. See, I?ve always
been really shy and quiet. I?ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere except when
I?m with Xander, but now. . .now I?m a part of something and it?s because of her. I?m
getting this whole other side of life, the side you can only experience with a female
friend, and I feel myself changing. It?s kind of scary, but in a good way. I?m more sure
of myself, I?ve almost worked up the nerve to stand up to Cordelia and I?m even starting
to dress a little differently. I find it amazing how one person can change your entire
life. I can?t wait to see what happens in the future. I mean, if I?m changing so much
already by knowing her for only a month, what?s going to happen in a year? Or even three
years? I?m going to be self-confident self esteem girl by then. And to think, it?s all
because of her. So now I?m having a problem. My days and nights have been filled with
all things Xander, but since Buffy and I have become friends, she?s kind of taken up some
of the space I reserved for him in my heart. I find myself thinking about her and
wondering what she?s doing in class or if she?s alright on patrol, then I kick myself. I
shouldn?t be feeling these things, should I? It freaks me out when I realize just how
long I?ve been sitting there thinking about her and I try to stop myself, but I can?t. I
mean, it isn?t normal. Is it? The way she smiles at me when I give her my shy little
smile. . .I?d have to admit, sometimes I do it on purpose just to see her smile back.
God, I?m nuts, I must have a fever or something to be acting this way. I mean, I?m acting
with her the way I usually act around Xander. I suppose it?s safe though. He?s never
noticed, why should she? So now I?m getting ready to go over to her house and help her
get ready for her first date with Owen. I?m happy for her. She deserves a normal life
with boys and make-up and first dates. That?s what we?re supposed to be doing now, just
being our normal angsty teen selves. I never realized how I took all those things for
granted until I saw that, for her, they?re few and far between. She?s hardly living the
way your typical teenager does. It?s times like this that I love being her friend, love
helping her just be sixteen because who knows when she?ll get the chance to do it again.
She?s always running off staking vampires or killing demons or averting world
destruction. She deserves to be happy and I?ll do anything I can to support her and be
there for her, even if it?s only in a platonic friend way. I guess I should take what I
can get. God, I didn?t just say that. Did I?

--
Willow: It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. (aside to
Buffy, worried) And I think I'm kinda gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person
it was.
Angel: Well, actually... (gets a look from Buffy) uh, That's a good point.

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