FF New Feelings 4 (badbard's bit)

[badbard <tiger_by_night@xxxxxxxxxx>]

New Feelings 4
badbard's contribution


More Willow's POV so now we have 2 B and 2 W. *G*

***

I did say it. That's not all I want to say. I can't
stop thinking about it now that I've started. What
if...we could be more? How would I let her know how I
feel? 

"Oh Buffy. Did I ever tell you how much I wanna feel
your biceps?"

Nope, that wouldn't work. Even if she went for it,
I'd faint as soon as she flexed. I betcha, she still
wouldn't get what's staring her in the face. Who's
staring her in the face. Me! Just Willow. Just her
best friend who wants to be so much more. Nobody
special. 

Think of Buffy as the main attraction. The heroine
they name the hit tv show after. Think of me as the
boring backdrop. If I ever even made it on to Buffy's
'show', the most exciting thing I'd do in a season
would be cut my hair. That's the kinda girl I am.

Not Buffy's kind. Not her type. Not tall, dark and
deadly and oh, did I mention I don't eat puppy dogs
for breakfast? It's one of my more attractive
qualities. Sorry, I'm having some jealousy issues of
late. Well, just one actually. His name's Angel and
everytime Buffy sees him she goes all gooey. As much
as I love Buffy's sappy smiles, I want them all
directed at me! Not at some enigmatic vampire who
looks like a movie star. Don't vampires ever get
zits?! Like I stand a chance now. It isn't fair. 
Not to mention, just...not...right. Buffy's the
VAMPIRE slayer. Which part of that did she miss?

I miss her when she gushes to me about him. 

"Oh, Willow, I actually kissed Angel and he didn't
spill blood on my lips or anything!"

Yep. Envy doesn't look good on me. 

Still, I...I miss the might've beens.

So she's the Slayer. So she does violent things for a
living or in answer to the call of destiny or
whatever. So what. All I know is I want to do them
with her.

Oh don't get me wrong! I'm not gay! I'm not. That
would be weird and skanky and I may be weird but I'm
definitely not skanky, that's more Cordelia's line,
not that Cordelia's gay although if you saw the length
of time she spends with Harmony in the bathroom you'd
begin to wonder and...I'll shut up now. Except, I'm
not gay. I love Buffy. But that's different. I'm
not in love with her 'cause she's a girl and that
would be skanky. I'm in love with Xander my other
bestest bud. Xander, the guy who played doctor with
me when we were little kids and let me bandage
his...never mind. 

Xander, the guy who is all over Buffy like that rash
he got when he was four. That really hurts. What
does Buffy have that I don't? Besides looks,
superpowers, wit and sexiness? Hmmm? Besides that
little something that makes you want to jump her? 
Hmmm? Oh! Not me, of course. Just er...people in
general. Some ex-people too.

When I say I'm her friend who wants to be so much
more, I just mean I want to be better friends with
her. Soulmates really. I forsee some friendly
kissing and experimental touching. Nothing even
remotely gay or...oh Buffy. I don't even remotely
understand who I am anymore. I'm changing so fast and
it's all because you believe in me. Someday soon, I'm
gonna have to show you, I believe in you.








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