Fic: The Wolf Within (2/?)

[Erin <erin@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

I'm really, really glad you guys liked Part 1. :) Here's Part 2. It
requires a little more exposition, as Willow learns more about her
heritage, but I hope I made it interesting enough.

TITLE: The Wolf Within
AUTHOR: Erin (erin@xxxxxxxxxxx)
SPOILERS: None, really.
RATING: PG-13 at worst, because of some violence. It is a
Buffy/Willow fic, so if that bothers you, or it's illegal to even
think of a Slayer and a Witch getting it on, then just don't read it.
Or move.
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.
I'll put them back when I'm done, no worse for wear (but maybe a
little happier). Most of the werewolf stuff is copyright White Wolf,
such as Garou, Crinos, Child of Gaia, Glass Walker, etc.
ARCHIVE: Currently, none. Just ask, I'd love to say yes.
FEEDBACK: Constructive comments are encouraged.
SUMMARY: (Buffy/Willow) Willow discovers that there is more to her
than meets the eye, and it could tear her life apart.

Part the Second

Willow took a step back, unable to deal with what Nichole was telling
her. "No..." she said, weakly. "No, I..."

"You know it's true," Nichole said, softly. "Let me see if I
remember... You've been having dreams, dreams about travelling under
the moonlit sky, maybe running through a forest? And then recently,
something happened to make you suspect that it wasn't just a dream.
Maybe you woke up in the woods, or maybe you found mud on your shoes
that you couldn't explain."

She paused, but Willow remained silent. After a moment, Nichole
continued.

"I went through the same thing as you, Willow," Nichole gave her a
sympathetic look. "At first, I thought I was going insane. Luckily,
I was found by a wandering Garou before my parents had me committed.
He taught me what it meant to be a werewolf."

Willow shook her head. "But...I can't be a werewolf.
My...ex-boyfriend was a werewolf, and it was horrible...It was a
curse, he turned into such a mindless, savage animal..." She broke
off, eyes filling with tears.

The look of pure sympathy and understanding that Nichole gave Willow
almost broke her heart. The young woman went behind the counter and
retrieved a couple of tissues, handing them across to Willow. "Being
a werewolf is not a curse, although if the Cub does not receive
training, it is possible for them to be unable to control their
Change. It sounds as if your ex-boyfriend was never taught how to
release the Wolf."

Willow seized on the word "control" as if it were a lifeline. "What
do you mean? You mean I don't have to change? If I learn how to
control it..." She didn't dare finish the sentence.

"The Wolf is pure Rage," Nichole began. "At times near the full moon,
when inhibitions are lowered, the Rage comes to the surface and
demands expression. It sounds like your boyfriend held in the Rage,
and didn't allow himself to feel it. When the full moon came
around..." She spread her hands, as if to say, What do you expect?
"How did you feel after you had the dreams?"

Willow thought hard for a moment. "I felt...good. Energized, kinda."

Nichole smiled. "You allowed yourself the freedom to express the
Wolf's Rage." She walked around the counter to the front door, where
she placed the "Closed" sign in the window. Turning back to Willow,
she said, "Are you interested in learning how to control the Change?"

Willow chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. She couldn't deny that
what Nichole was saying struck a chord deep within her. As much as
she'd like to deny the fact that she was having these dreams, there
was just too much proof to the contrary. She decided that her best
bet, at least for the moment, was to learn as much as she could about
werewolves...er, Garou. And if it meant she could control herself...
"Ok, let's do it."

* * *

Buffy awoke from her nap and looked at the clock on the wall. The two
hours sleep she had gotten seemed to have done her some good. She sat
up, and ran a hand quickly through her hair.

Geez, two hours? She thought with some alarm. I wonder what happened
to Willow? She looked around Giles' home, but there was no sign that
the redhead had ever returned.

Buffy had had some misgivings about letting Willow go alone to the
magick shop. Not that she hadn't done it a hundred times before, but
this time was different. She seemed so nervous and confused, Buffy
thought. Something was bothering her, something I can't quite put my
finger on... Buffy thought about it for a moment, but her mind was
still a little fuzzy with sleep.

Writing a quick note for Giles, she took off in the direction of
downtown, and the magick shop.

* * *

Nichole led Willow to a back room which seemed to triple as a work
area, inventory room, and office. She cleared a space in the center
of the room, and motioned for Willow to take a seat.

"What do you know of werewolves?" Nichole asked.

"Well," Willow replied, "I really only know what we found out about
Oz... Apparently it was a curse, given to him when his cousin, who was
a werewolf, bit him."

"Ok, Myth number one," Nichole smiled. "Being a Garou is not a curse,
although I wouldn't call it a blessing either. It is not conveyed by
bite, or else we wouldn't be having the problems we do now." Willow
wondered what she meant, but Nichole continued. "The truth of it is,
being a Garou is in the blood. It runs in families, which the Garou
call Kinfolk. Since Oz's cousin was a werewolf, I'm not surprised
that he showed the same trait. Being Kinfolk does not automatically
mean you are Garou, but there is a chance."

Willow nodded. She was feeling more comfortable now that she was
hearing about all this in lecture. She could almost imagine that it
was Giles talking about some new kind of demon. Speaking of demons...

"So...so are Garou evil?" Willow asked, somewhat apprehensively. "I
mean, you don't seem evil, or like a demon or anything."

"No, I'm not evil," Nichole chuckled. "Werewolves are just like
people; some are better than others. Most fight for good, some fight
for evil, some fight only for themselves. What you do depends on who
you _are_.

"But I promised to teach you how to control the change. History
lessons can come later, I think; right now, I should help you control
the Change so that you won't take any unbidden nightly excursions." 

Nichole took a couple of steps back, and concentrated for a moment.
Her form shimmered just the slightest bit, and before Willow knew it,
the young woman was Changing. She dropped to all fours, and Willow
watched as Nichole's hands reformed themselves into delicate paws; her
legs shrank and changed shape into wolves' legs. It was so unlike the
violent transformation that Oz used to go through under the full moon;
this was almost beautiful, and in some animistic sense, deeply
spiritual. Before she knew it, a black-furred wolf stood in front of
her, tail swishing happily.

Willow was so astonished by the transformation that she didn't realize
Nichole was talking to her at first. When she did realize it, she did
a double-take.

"How...You're a wolf! How come you're speaking English?"

The wolf's tongue lolled out in a grin. "I'm not, silly. I'm
speaking wolf. All Garou can understand each other, no matter what
form they're in." The wolf sat, and raised her head to look at
Willow. "Ok, now you try."

"Pfft, oh yeah, I'll just do that." Willow rolled her eyes. "How am
I supposed to change into a wolf? And besides, the moon's not out."

Wolf-Nichole chuckled, a decidedly strange sound. "The whole point is
to control the Wolf, not have the Wolf control you. You don't need
the moon to change, but if you're not careful, the moon will Change
_you_."

Willow looked at the woman dubiously. "Ok... Assuming I can change,
how would I do it?"

"You work magick, right? Visualize. Visualize yourself as a wolf, how
it would feel, how you would look. Concentrate."

Still doubtful, Willow got down on all fours. I feel silly, she
thought. Ok, visualize... She cleared her mind, and thought about
what Nichole told her. Her stomach gave a sickening jolt as she
realized she could feel her bones and muscles moving around under her
skin. She didn't lose the visual, though; the feeling was strange,
but not painful. This must be what happens when you don't fight the
Change, you invite it, she realized.

An overwhelming series of odors assaulted her senses. She could smell
_everything_... The dust and cardboard of the boxes, the myriad types
of incense on sale in the front room...even the oil and gasoline fumes
from the street outside coated the inside of her nose and mouth like
grease. She shook her head, trying to regain some control over her
senses.

"I probably should have warned you," Nichole said. "Wolves have a
much better sense of smell than humans. We call this form Lupus,
because, well, duh."

Willow opened her eyes, and saw that she was now at eye-level with the
black-furred wolf. She looked down at her own body, and saw the same
red paws that she remembered from her dream. I'm really a wolf... The
thought tried to penetrate her brain.

"Ok, now let's go back to human." Nichole lowered her head for a
moment, and her form shimmered much like before. After a moment she
was sitting on the ground, in human form, wearing the same clothes as
before.

Willow found the transition from wolf to human to be much easier than
the other way around. After all, she had spent nineteen years being
human, she was pretty familiar with herself. It only took a moment
for her to be sitting on the ground, in human form.

"I can't believe this..." She looked at her hands, and saw that no
trace of the wolf remained. "I must be dreaming or something. I
can't believe I can do this!" The redhead laughed, as much from relief
as any real joy.

Nichole grinned. "I'm going to show you our other forms, some of
which aren't nearly as interesting, just to give you a visual on what
they're supposed to look like." After a moment of concentration,
Nichole shifted into a form which was like her wolf form, but larger,
almost like one of the Dire Wolves of Pleistocene America. Willow
could see where this form was closest to what Oz became when he
changed; only Oz, since he was not in control of the change, was much
more "devolved".

Nichole shifted again, this time to something which was almost her
human state, but not quite. Willow giggled. She looked a little like
Buffy when she was in "Cave-Slayer" mode. There were definite
Cro-Magnon tendencies there in Nichole's jutting brow and heavy bone
structure. On the other hand, she looked like she could snap Willow
in half like a twig, so the redhead thought it best not to comment on
her looks.

After a minute, Nichole shifted again. All trace of humor in Willow's
face vanished, as she looked on the beast that she must've been when
she tore apart those vampires like so many rag dolls.

She was at least eight feet tall, and almost five feet wide at the
shoulder; her body was covered by that same dense, black fur that
accompanied her in wolf form. She stood easily on two legs, despite
the fact that they weren't human legs, but some heavier adaptation of
a wolf's hind legs. A large, bushy tail looked like it helped Nichole
keep her balance.

She held out her hands, and Willow could see the huge, razor sharp
talons which tipped each finger. Her face and head was that of a
wolf, and when she smiled Willow caught a glimpse of the huge fangs,
larger than those of any normal canine.

Nichole was, quite literally, a eight foot tall, five hundred pound
killing machine of razor claws and densely packed muscle.

She grinned, showing off her prodigious fangs. "We call this form the
Crinos."

* * *

Buffy approached the magick shop with some trepidation. She
immediately noticed the "Closed" sign in the window, and her stomach
clenched. She knew, at that moment, that something terrible had
happened or was about to happen to Willow. She could never forgive
herself if that occurred.

She leaned against the door, listening intently. She heard snarls and
growls coming from the inside, from the back rooms. Instantly, Buffy
was through the door, only noticing incidentally that it was unlocked.
Grabbing a stake out of her pocket, she rushed into the back room.

The Slayer took in the scene instantly: Willow was on one side of the
room, staring at the...creature...on the other side in wide eyed
wonder. The creature itself was huge, and looked exactly like the one
Buffy had seen the previous night. She didn't have time to wonder
about this, however; she immediately ran over to stand in front of
Willow. If this...beast...was going to try to get to Willow, it was
going to have to tear through her to do it. Unfortunately, the Slayer
couldn't make bets on how difficult she could make that.

Even though her wooden stake was tiny compared to even one of the
great beast's claws, Buffy brandished it at the creature. "Stay
back!" She yelled, motioning Willow back with her other hand. "Don't
think I won't turn you into a rug if you try anything!" 

The creature let out a series of snarls and growls which only Willow
was able to understand. "You want to tell your friend that I wouldn't
hurt either of you?"

The question propelled Willow out of her shock. "Buffy, no!" She
said, tugging on her stake arm. "It's ok!"

Buffy looked at her friend like she had just grown another head.
"Ok?" She said, incredulously. "Will, what the hell is going on
here?" She looked back at the creature, and finally noticed its black
fur. "Wait a minute...You're not the same one I met last night." 

If Buffy didn't know better, she would have sworn the creature sighed.

END Part 2

Erin
-- 
"I question the stability of a company whose future depends on 
Microsoft programs being intelligent. I don't question the idea 
that Office Assistants are the most advanced Microsoft technology."
-- Joel Ray "Piquan" Holveck 
*email: erin@xxxxxxxxxxx