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Repost: Side effects
Side Effects
by
Shyfox
Darkness. Darkness all around her. Pitch black all the eye could see.
The very air around
her gave no clue as to where she was because there was very little current
moving around her.
The only sound her ear could detect was a faint murmuring sound. Kind of
like a chorus of
voices in a hushed crowd or the trickle of a brook as it ran down stream.
She strained her hearing
trying to detect where the sound was coming from, but it seemed to be coming
from everywhere
and nowhere all at once. Completely confused, she tried calling out, her
mouth opened but no
sound emerged. ?Help me? she thought, before she abruptly awoke, gasping
out a breath of air as
her green eyes took in the early morning light of her dorm room.
?Will? Are you okay?? Willow heard Buffy?s husky voice in her ear as two
warm arms
encircled her shaking form. Willow nodded jerkily, trying to calm her
rapidly beating heart.
?Same dream?? Buffy asked, being kind of an expert on the recurring dream
theme.
?Yeah.? Willow breathed, as she allowed herself to relax around the
comforting warmth
of her lover. ?Except...? Willow stopped, not quite sure how to put how
she was feeling into
words.
?Tell me.? Buffy whispered, stroking the back of Willow?s neck with gentle
fingertips.
Willow took a deep breath and tried to form her jumbled up feelings into
coherent thought.
?It?s the same dark void, almost impenetrable by light. I don?t know where
I am, or how I got
there. There were a couple of differences in this dream though. When I
first started having the
dream the air was so cold...freezing. I?ve never been so cold in my life.?
Willow remembered,
shivering a little in Buffy?s arms.
Buffy remembered waking up one morning not long after she and Willow had
first made
love, to find her shivering uncontrollably. Willow?s teeth had been
chattering in her head, and she
had her arms wrapped firmly around herself as she tried to get herself warm.
Buffy, alarmed at
the state of her lover, had taken her immediately into her arms, surprised
to find her body
temperature perfectly normal. In fact it had been a little warmer than
usual. Buffy thinking
Willow might have had a fever, forced Willow to sleep in that morning not
leaving her side until
Willow insisted later that she was perfectly fine. But when Buffy had woke
up the next morning
and found Willow in the same condition, she forced Willow to tell her what
was wrong. Willow
told Buffy between shuddering gasps, about her dream. The dreams had been
going on in this
way for the past three weeks, and Buffy was getting extremely worried. She
continued to support
her lover and hoped that they?d find an answer to Willow?s strange dreams.
?But in tonight?s dream it was warm...so warm and comfortable. And...there
was this
sound I couldn?t quite make out. It was like a murmur of a thousand voices
or a dozen bees
droning. But in this really weird rhythm.? Willow tried to describe the
sound, but was frustrated
when she realized she just couldn?t do it. She knew she?d recognize the
sound instantly if she
ever heard it again, but to describe it...she just didn?t have the words to
do it.
Willow shook her head in frustration, sighing deeply. Buffy pulled her
closer into her
embrace, holding Willow tight against her chest and stroking her hair
gently. ?It?ll be okay.?
Buffy whispered, kissing Willow on the top of her head. ?I?ll go talk to
Giles, see if he?s found
out anything. He wanted to talk to me about something he found out about
that spell of yours
anyway.? Buffy was pleased to hear Willow snort gracefully into her chest.
Willow knew
exactly what spell she referred to. The one that had changed their
relationship for the better,
though neither of them had told anyone about the change in their
relationship. Not even Giles.
They wanted to get used to the newness of the relationship first.
Willow looked reluctantly at the alarm beside Buffy?s bed, knowing that it
must be getting
late and that she had an early morning class that morning. She groaned at
the confirmed
knowledge, as the red glowing numbers confirmed that it was seven thirty in
the morning. ?Ugh, I
have to go to class.? Willow complained, clearly not wanting to leave the
warm spot that was
Buffy.
?I remember a time when you used to like going to class.? Buffy teased
gently, not
wanting to leave the comfortable embrace she was in either, but knowing that
they had to get
moving. Buffy was curious as to what Giles had found out.
?I still do! I just don?t like leaving this bed.? Willow pouted, a look
that made Buffy
weak in the knees every time.
?So...what fascinating subject is it this morning? Anthropology? History?
Biology??
Buffy teased.
?I?ll have you know it?s much more interesting than that.? Willow stated,
imperiously.
?Oh yeah? What is it?? Buffy smirked, enjoying their game.
?Human sexuality and reproduction.? Willow enjoyed how Buffy nearly choked
on that
one. That is before Buffy got the upper hand on her.
?Didn?t we just do that?? Buffy asked, forcing Willow to raise a red
haired eyebrow at
her. ?Well...except for the reproduction part.? Buffy chuckled at Willow?s
shocked expression.
?Well, I?d love to be able to lay here and do this all day, but I really do
have to get to
class.? Willow sighed, starting to climb off of Buffy.
?No, I guess I wouldn?t want you to miss your class. But...? Buffy got a
wicked gleam
in her eyes and Willow could swear she knew where Buffy was going to go with
this. ?Do you
think they give extra credit for at home participation?? Buffy asked,
starting to nibble on the
sweet skin of Willow?s neck.
?Buffy!? Willow exclaimed in protest. ?Really Buffy...Buffy I can?t. I
don?t have time
this morning.? Willow said, as she tried to squirm out of her amorous
lover?s embrace.
?Are you sure?? Buffy asked Willow, who had finally managed to stand up
next to
Buffy?s bed.
?I?m sorry. Maybe later?? Willow answered the entreating look in Buffy?s
eyes. ?Please
don?t give me the pout, you know I can?t withstand the pout.? Willow
pleaded internally as the
corners of Buffy?s mouth started to turn downwards. ?I really have to go.?
Willow practically
ran to the closet as she grabbed an outfit to wear and threw it on.
?Sorry.? Willow called over
her shoulder, as she threw open the dorm room door and quickly left. She
leaned up against the
wooden frame, waiting for her heart beat to slow down a bit before, smiling
to herself, she headed
off to class.
?Oh well,? Buffy said to herself. ?I guess I really shouldn?t keep Giles
waiting.? She
sighed, then chuckled at the way Willow had practically bolted from the
room.
********
Willow was just about to leave the dormitory, when a sudden attack of
queasiness hit her.
?Oh no, not again.? She thought, dismayed, before running into the nearest
bathroom hoping to
make it to the closest stall before she lost the contents of her stomach all
over the bathroom floor.
She quickly closed and locked the door of the stall before leaning over and
heaving into the toilet.
This early morning ritual was quickly becoming detested. Willow was sure it
wasn?t something
she ate, and yet she didn?t think she was getting sick, after the initial
bout of queasiness it seemed
to fade for the rest of the day. She hadn?t told Buffy about this, not
wanting to make her worry
anymore than she already was, and she vowed to herself that if it didn?t go
away in a couple of
days she would go to see her family physician and get it checked out. After
rinsing her mouth and
washing her hands and face, Willow made her way out of the bathroom and
continued on her way
to class.
********
?GILES?!? Buffy called out, slamming the door to Giles apartment as she
entered. Giles
was just coming out of the kitchen, holding a steaming cup of Earl Grey tea.
?Oh Buffy, you?re here. Excellent. Would you like a cup?? Giles offered,
knowing that
Buffy probably wouldn?t take him up on it.
?Uh no, maybe later Giles.? Buffy said, as she flopped down on Giles couch
and looked
at him expectantly. ?So...you wanted to tell me about the spell?? Neither
Buffy nor Willow
wanted to take the chance of researching the spell themselves. As far as
Buffy could remember,
all Willow had done was read the spell before she was under it. So, Buffy
had brought the spell
book to Giles, hoping that he would be able to safely say what the spell
was, where it had
originated from, and what the purpose behind the spell was, having informed
him as little as
possible of what had happened that night. Luckily, when Buffy had found the
spell book it was
already open to the pages Willow had been reading, since Willow had no
memory of what had
happened that night at all. So, it was really only a matter of Buffy asking
Giles to determine what
the two spells on the pages were for. Giles had ruled out the first spell
right away, it being a
simple levitation spell that Willow could do in her sleep. The second spell
had captured his
attention, and he had taken the book without hesitation, muttering something
about researching as
he walked away.
?Buffy, that was a very...uh...interesting spell you asked me to research.?
Giles started,
noticing the look of anxiety that swept across Buffy?s face before she hid
it.
?Really? Did you find out anything?? Buffy asked, examining a freshly
painted fingernail
in pretended disinterest.
?Well, for one thing...?Giles sighed, ?It?s a very old spell. How it
wound up in that book
that Willow had is quite frankly beyond my comprehension. If my research is
correct it dates
back to the time of the Ancient Greek civilization. It?s also extremely
powerful. It?s a good thing
Willow hadn?t finished reading that spell.?
?Uh, really? Why?s that?? Buffy asked, unable to hide the subtle squeak
in her voice.
?Well, any love spell is dangerous, but this one was supposedly graced by
the Greek
Goddess of Love Aphrodite. As you?ve already witnessed someone under a love
spell can be
incredibly dangerous.? Buffy nodded, remembering the time that Xander had
tried to cast a love
spell on Cordelia, and it had affected every woman but Cordelia, Buffy
included. ?This spell is
much more powerful than the one Xander and Amy cast. The effects could have
been....I can?t
even begin to fathom it.? Giles said, noticing Buffy shudder. Buffy
wondered what Willow
would have done if she hadn?t gotten carried away by the passion of the
moment, or if she had
tried to restrain Willow the way she had wanted to at first. The power that
Buffy had felt while
they were making love was astronomical and she truly believed what Giles
said.
?And I believe I?ve stumbled upon some possible side effects of the spell.?
Giles
continued, noticing Buffy?s distracted look.
?Side effects?? Buffy asked, dragging her attention to Giles worried face.
?What kind of
side effects??
?Well...I?m afraid I haven?t...I mean I?m not entirely sure...? Giles
stumbled.
?Spit it out Giles.? Buffy said, her impatience starting to show through.
If Willow was
going to experience some unforeseen side effect, Buffy wanted to know about
it. Then Willow?s
dreams popped into her head and Buffy thought that she knew what one of them
might be already.
?Well, the spell is strange in that it is dedicated to somebody. Two
somebody?s actually.
It states the wish that the two people?s threads never be cut. Now in Greek
mythology, a person?s
life was decided by the three fates. Clothos, Lachesis, and Atropos, or as
they were sometimes
called, The Mother, the Maiden, and the Crone. They each had their own
jobs. One was the
weaver and she wove the thread of somebody?s life into this big rich
tapestry. How she weaved
determined how somebody?s life would go. One of them simply held the
thread, and dealt it out
to the weaver. I suppose, she decided how long someone?s life would be.
And the last was
responsible for cutting the thread. A person?s life ended when that thread
was cut. Now, how this
affects the spell I?m not quite sure. It may have been a spell for the two
to live out their lives in
immortality, having the fate never cut their thread, or it could have been
talking about their
descending line. It may have been a wish that the Warrior and the
Follower?s descendants never
die out, and this spell may have been used to see that they never did.?
?In English, Giles.? Buffy said, having lost the Watcher after the whole
three fates bit.
?Right. I?m thinking this spell was either used to bring two soul mates
together. Or to
ensure the continued line of the Warrior and Follower by...um...urging the
descendents
to...uh...mate.? Giles got out, blushing furiously.
Buffy looked at him strangely, her face turning white. ?That?s
um...really...strange Giles.?
?Yes. Quite.? Giles agreed, thinking about the spell once more.
********
?Just when you think you know all there is to know about a subject, you
find out you?re
wrong.? Willow reflected silently, as she paid attention in her human
sexuality and reproduction
class. ?I mean, after sleeping with a were-wolf and a Slayer, you would
think I would know it
all.? Willow always found the class discussions extremely fascinating, and
she loved to hear the
various students stories about their own love lives, and the questions they
evoked, although she
had never opted to share any of her own stories. She probably would have
been lucky to get two
sentences out without stuttering uncontrollably.
Today they were starting the section on reproduction though, and Willow sat
glued to her
seat, fascinated about the many changes a baby went through before it was
ready to be born. The
professor had brought a film to class showing the developing baby from time
of conception
through the ninth month. It was fascinating to Willow how everything about
the baby formed.
?And this, is what a baby?s heart beat sounds like inside the mother.? The
professor said,
playing a tape of the last sonogram she had. The sound nearly rocked Willow
out of her seat, as
she sat wide-eyed and listened to the sound she had been hearing in her
dreams. ?I?d recognize
that sound anywhere.? Willow had said that earlier to Buffy, and now she was
hearing it in her
reproduction class. She didn?t quite know what to make of it. She didn?t
know why she was
dreaming of a baby?s heart beat. But, she intended to find out.
**********
Dr. Wiseburg had been Willow?s family physician for as long as she could
remember. He
had probably been her doctor since she was a baby. So she felt a little
self-conscious now,
coming into the doctor?s waiting room with the problem she felt she was
having.
?Hello Willow.? Nurse Brackett called out to her, seeing her enter. ?It?s
been a few
months since I?ve seen you. Everything going okay?? Willow had known Nurse
Brackett for
about as long as she had known Dr. Wiseburg. The kind faced, slightly
chubby nurse had taken
her measurements since she was old enough to walk. ?I don?t see your name
in the appointment
book, are you sure you?re due for a physical?? The nurse asked, her eyes
looking up at Willow
questioningly.
?Um, no. I know I?m not scheduled. I know it?s short notice. But, I was
wondering if
Dr. Wiseburg had some time between patients.? Willow murmured, trying hard
not to run back
out the waiting room door.
Nurse Brackett looked concerned as she glanced down at her appointment book.
?Well, he has an
appointment at one. I?ll see if he can squeeze you in Willow, okay??
Willow glanced at her
watch. It was twelve thirty now. She supposed she?d have enough time to
blurt out her secret
before Dr. Wiseburg?s next patient showed. Willow nodded and Nurse Brackett
paged the
doctor, telling him who was waiting for him, and before Willow knew it, Dr.
Wiseburg had come
out and collected her, bringing her into his office.
Dr. Wiseburg?s office was a normal Doctor?s office. Diplomas on the wall.
An
examination table in the middle of the room. Medical equipment on trays
spread around the
office. He had a desk sitting in one corner, which he sat down at and
motioned for Willow to take
the visitor?s seat. Dr. Wiseburg was an older man, who Willow guessed was
somewhere in his
late fifty?s.
?So, Willow, what can I help you with?? Dr. Wiseburg asked, expecting to
be hit with
some innocuous teenage problem.
?I think I?m pregnant.? Willow whispered, unable to meet his eyes. That
had not been
what the good doctor had been expecting, anything but that. He had known
Ira Rosenberg?s
daughter since he had delivered her. He would never have expected her to
have unsafe sex. But
here she sat, in his office, looking as troubled as he?d ever seen her. The
doctor in him took over
before he could think too much about it.
?Well, why don?t we find out, huh? Then we can take it from there.? He
said kindly, then
buzzed the nurse through his intercom. ?Nurse Bracket, postpone my One
o?clock to Two, all
right??
?Yes Doctor.? Willow heard the reply through a haze, as well as everything
that
happened after that. The examination itself was a blur to her, which was
good in a way because
she probably would have found the whole thing completely embarrassing
otherwise. Dr. Wiseberg
took some blood and had it sent to the lab, then told Willow that the
results would be available in
about a half an hour and that if she?d like to get comfortable and wait in
the waiting room, he
would call her when they were ready. Willow nodded, waiting for him to
leave before she got off
of the examination table and got dressed. Her fingers were shaking so badly
she could hardly
button the buttons on her sweater, but sooner than she would?ve thought she
was back in the
waiting room, her stomach in knots as she waited for the results.
She tried thumbing through the year old magazines that were sitting on a
table in the
waiting room, but she kept feeling Nurse Brackett?s concerned eyes resting
on her and she found
it hard to concentrate on the words. Also, her mind kept flashing to Buffy,
wondering what in the
world she was going to say to her if it proved her suspicions were correct.
Worst yet, she
couldn?t imagine how in the world she would?ve got in the position she was
in. She hadn?t slept
with a guy since Oz had left almost two months ago, and she had had a period
since then,
although she was due for her next one in about a week. She had a sneaking
suspicion this one
wouldn?t be coming on time though.
Willow was so deep into her thoughts that she never even heard Dr. Wiseburg
calling her name
until a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. ?Come on into my office,
Willow.? He said
gently, and Willow nodded, avoiding the questioning glances of the Nurse.
Feeling more queasy
and light-headed then she had ever felt, she followed the Doctor into his
office, swallowing hard
to keep the contents of her stomach in place.
?Well?? She asked, nervously. Her voice squeaked in fear. Dr. Wiseburg
looked at her
soberly, his kind, gentle brown eyes looking at her sympathetically.
?Well, I?m not quite sure how you knew it...but you are three weeks
pregnant.? Dr.
Wiseburg said, confirming Willow?s darkest fears.
Willow?s eyes closed upon the tears she felt building up in them. She
brought a trembling
hand to her mouth, holding in a sob as the tears overflowed her eyelids and
dripped down her
cheeks.
?Willow, I know how overwhelmed you must be feeling right now. And you
shouldn?t
make any decisions at this time, but there are three choices that you can
make about your
situation. They should each be discussed with your parents and your
partner, then you?ll be better
able to come to a conclusion about what it is you want to do.? Dr. Wiseburg
said, trying to be
supportive, and give some much needed information to the young person.
Willow looked up at him, question in her eyes, and he continued. ?It?s
still early in your
pregnancy. We could just end the pregnancy.? The shocked and offended
look in Willow?s eyes
told him that wouldn?t be an option she would consider, and he should have
known just from her
being Ira Rosenberg?s daughter, but he felt it should be mentioned anyway,
just to cover all the
bases. ?Of course, if that?s not a viable option for you, there are always
good families waiting to
adopt a baby. A family who could love and support a baby, but maybe can?t
have children of
their own.? This suggestion didn?t bring as much as an offended look to
Willow?s face, though he
could tell that she wasn?t sure if this was the way that she wanted to go.
?Then of course, you
could always keep the baby. I?m sure you have enough emotional as well as
financial supports
around you to help you to raise the baby yourself.? The doctor was thinking
of Willow?s parents,
but Willow?s thoughts flew immediately to Buffy. Buffy was the only person
who ever
completely emotionally supported her. She supposed they would find some way
to go about the
financial part.
?I?d like to set up regularly scheduled appointments for you during your
entire pregnancy,
to help ensure that you and your baby remain healthy and also to discuss
prenatal and post natal
options with you, all right?? Dr. Wiseburg asked, once Willow had composed
herself.
Willow nodded, and then stood not wanting to take up any more of Dr.
Wiseburg?s time
then she already had. ?Thank you.? Willow said, although she wasn?t quite
sure what she was
thanking him for.
?It?s all right, Willow. Everything will be okay, you?ll see.? Dr.
Wiseburg responded trying to
reassure the young woman. ?Please see Nurse Brackett about setting up your
next appointment,
and try not to worry, okay??
Willow nodded, not knowing what to say, then stepped out of the office. She
quickly set up an
appointment for the next week, then left the doctor?s building. She wasn?t
quite sure where she
would go, but she needed to take a walk and clear her head.
Willow walked through the park on the way to the dorm, struggling to find a
way to tell Buffy
what had happened. She didn?t notice any of the other college students that
were having lunch
there, or the students that passed by her talking to each other. She was
wound up in her own little
daze of misery. ?I mean, what do I say? I can?t just walk up to her and
say...Guess what, Buffy?
I?m pregnant.? Willow thought sarcastically. ?She?ll probably think it?s
Oz?s or that I cheated on
her. I really hope she doesn?t think I cheated on her. I?d never cheat on
her.?
?What if she freaks? What if she doesn?t believe me? What if she doesn?t
want children
and thinks that I should end the pregnancy?? They had never really talked
about children, or if
Buffy really wanted any. And then there was the whole passed down from
generation to
generation thing of Buffy?s. Buffy might be worried that any child she had
would be destined to
be the next Slayer. What if Buffy thought that it would be better off not
even being born?
Willow wasn?t even sure what she herself wanted. The only thing that she
did know was that she
did not want to end the pregnancy. She couldn?t. Her parents would never
look at her the same
way again. If she told them that is. But beyond that, Willow wasn?t sure
if she could end a
life...any life...especially not a life that was taking root inside of her.
She definitely could not end
the pregnancy. So, that left her with two options. Adoption, or keeping
the child to raise herself.
She wasn?t sure how she felt about either of those options. Part of it, she
knew, would be hinged
on Buffy?s reaction to the whole situation. Willow knew that she couldn?t
make a decision
without her.
Willow had always wanted to have a child when she was growing up. She had
always fantasized
about some day marrying Xander Harris and having a child with him...maybe
two. The fantasy
had changed as she had gotten older. Oz had taken Xander?s place in her
heart and her dream.
And then, Oz had left and the dream had turned fuzzy for a while. Until the
morning she had
woken up in Buffy?s arms and she had finally known where she was meant to
be. And now it
looked like the dream she had from childhood was coming true. It wasn?t the
time she would
have chosen, she would have liked to finish college first, but if this was
the time it had to be then
she wouldn?t begrudge it.
Letting herself into her dorm room, Willow was surprised to realize she was
completely
exhausted. She went over to her bed and lay down, pulling the covers over
her head as she curled
up into a fetal position, her hand resting on her stomach, and immediately
fell into a deep sleep.
Willow dreamed again of the sound of a baby?s heart beat. Yet this time,
not all was dark. She
was amazed when she saw the shape and definition of a fetus. It?s not quite
formed features
swam in a protective pool. Willow was engulfed in a feeling of such love
and devotion for the
unborn child that it overwhelmed her. She knew at that moment that she
would do anything to
protect this child.
*********
Buffy came back from Giles place and found Willow curled up in her bed.
Willow was
mumbling something in her sleep, but Buffy wasn?t close enough to make it
out. She looked at
the position her lover had chosen to sleep in, and her eyes shadowed with
worry as she walked
over to Willow?s bed. ?Will?? She called out gently, moving red hair off
of her friend?s face.
?mmm, bring the bottle.? Willow mumbled in her sleep, her eyebrows
scrunching up as she
twitched in her sleep.
Buffy grinned slightly at the comment, wondering what her lover was dreaming
about. ?Will,
you?re dreaming.? Buffy whispered, stroking a freckled cheek. She watched
as green eyes
blinked open then focused in on her own blue eyes.
?Buffy?? Willow sat up, confused. She wondered how long she had been
asleep. She glanced at
the clock on the bedside table, shocked to see that it was four o?clock and
that she had slept for
several hours after she had come home from the doctor?s office.
?Will...are you okay?? Buffy asked. It wasn?t often that she came home to
find Willow
in bed during the middle of the day. She could only remember one instance
when Willow had the
flu.
Willow thought blearily about that question for a little while. Was she
okay? Well, it
depended on how you looked at it, didn?t it? Buffy was starting to get
worried at Willow?s
silence when Willow finally answered her. ?Uh, yeah. I?m okay. I mean I?m
not sick or
anything...it?s just...? Willow started babbling then made herself shut up
before she just blurted it
out. She didn?t want to bowl Buffy over while she was still standing.
?Just what?? Buffy asked, an uncomfortable feeling starting to rise within
the Slayer.
?Um, I kinda need to tell you something, but I don?t want to do it with you
standing up.
Can you come here?? Willow said, moving over a little to give Buffy room to
sit down. Buffy sat
down next to Willow, her body tense as she waited for whatever Willow had to
tell her. Her eyes
met Willow?s and she saw the fear in Willow?s green eyes.
?What is it?? Buffy asked, a thousand possible answers running through
her head.
?You remember when I told you that I?d remember that sound in my dreams if
I heard it
again, anywhere?? Willow started, not quite sure where she was going with
this, but she knew
she had to start somewhere.
?Yeah?? Buffy said, as confused about where Willow was going with this as
Willow was.
?Well, I heard it today. In my sex and reproduction class.? Seeing the
confused look on
Buffy?s face, Willow continued. ?My teacher played a tape of a sonogram.
It was the same
sound. The sound of a baby?s heart beat.? Willow could see confusion
mixing with a dawning
realization swimming in the Slayer?s blue eyes.
Buffy?s mind flashed back to her conversation with Giles and the sudden
realization almost
knocked the breath out of her. ?Will...are you...? Shock immobilized her
mouth as she saw
Willow nodding at her.
?I?m going to have a baby.? Willow whispered, seeing the shock fill the
beautiful blue
eyes beside her. ?The doctor says I?m three weeks pregnant. I?m so sorry.
I don?t know how it
happened.? Willow gasped out, starting to cry as she anticipated Buffy?s
anger and rejection.
Buffy shook her head as she tried to let the news sink in. ?This is
unbelievable.? She whispered.
The news took it?s time settling in between the layers of disbelief and
shock that were protecting
the Slayer. ?I?m going to be a ?father?? This is really unbelievable. If
I didn?t know it were true,
I wouldn?t believe it.? Buffy thought to herself, the enormity of the
situation sitting squarely on
the Slayer?s shoulders.
?Buffy, please say something.? Willow pleaded after Buffy hadn?t spoken for
what seemed like
forever. The Slayer was being too quiet, like the calm before the storm,
and Willow was just
waiting for Buffy to freak out and start yelling and screaming at her.
Buffy finally pulled away from her internal thoughts enough to notice the
flow of tears that were
streaming down Willow?s face. ?Oh, Will. I?m sorry. Come here.? Buffy
whispered, pulling
her lover into her arms.
?You don?t hate me?? Willow cried, her arms wrapping tightly around Buffy.
?Why would I hate you, Will? This is all my fault.? Buffy said, wiping the
tears off of Willow?s
cheeks.
?What? I don?t understand.? Willow said, the expression on her face
showing just how confused
she was.
Buffy?s face was intense as she looked into Willow?s. ?It?s the spell,
Will. Something happened
to me that night. I?ve never felt anything like it before, or since, that
night. At first, I just thought
it was...you know...being with you. It was bound to be intense. But that
night, Will, I felt
different.? Buffy saw that Willow?s confusion hadn?t cleared and swore
softly. ?I wish I knew
how to describe it to you. I wish you could remember.? Buffy said, running
her fingers through
Willow?s red hair and cupping her cheek. ?Whatever went through me went
into you too.? Buffy
remembered that moment so clearly in her head. The slow build-up of
whatever force that had
been in control that night, and the moment it had merged the two together
for a timeless instant.
Buffy shook her head, shaking off the still startlingly clear and
pleasurable memories of that night.
?Anyway...from what Giles said. This is the purpose behind the spell.?
Buffy said, gently resting
her hand over Willow?s abdomen.
?Does he know?? Willow asked, wondering if Buffy had told Giles the whole
truth while she had
been there.
Buffy shook her head. ?No. I wasn?t quite sure how to bring that up.
Besides, I kinda wanted to
be sure before I went into the ?lets see if we can make Giles stutter
uncontrollably? stage.? Willow
shared a smile with Buffy at that, imagining what Giles reaction to that
would be.
They sat in contemplative silence after that, each wondering what the other
were thinking.
Finally, Willow?s hesitant voice broke the silence. ?What do you think we
should do??
Buffy took a long breath and let it out slowly. ?Well...I guess I could
quit college and get a job.
We?ll probably have to move out of the dorm, although I definitely think you
should continue
going to college. The baby should be here sometime around July...I think.
That would give you
almost a month before your next classes started, and I could stay home and
take care of the baby
while you were in classes...either that or get a baby sitter. I wonder if
my mom would be able to
help out sometimes.? Willow watched Buffy in amazement. She had obviously
given this a lot of
thought.
?Buffy. You want to keep the baby?? The surprise in Willow?s voice made
Buffy stop and look
at her.
?Well...I just assumed that?s what you would want, too. Do you want to give
her up?? Buffy
asked, the very thought of not knowing her own child tore at the Slayer?s
heart. But if Willow
wasn?t ready for the responsibility, Buffy supposed she would have no choice
but to go along with
it.
Willow shook her head. ?I guess I just didn?t think that you would want to
keep her.?
Buffy looked at her with soulful eyes. ?Why wouldn?t I? She?s mine.? She
said, her hand curling
protectively on Willow?s stomach.
Willow smiled at how possessive Buffy was already. She rested her head on
the Slayer?s
shoulder, and they rested back on the bed. ?I guess we have a lot of
decisions to make, huh??
?Yeah, like how we?re going to tell our parents....and Giles.? Buffy said,
wrinkling her nose.
Thinking about telling her parents made Willow shudder. ?Yeah. But at
least we made the most
important decision.? She said, resting her hand on top of Buffy?s on her
abdomen.
?We?re going to have a baby, Will.? Buffy whispered, awestruck. Willow
smiled serenely at her,
and for the first time felt good about the news she had heard that day. She
kissed Buffy gently
and then snuggled into her, content to just lay in Buffy?s protective
embrace and watch the
shadows on the floor move their way across the room as the sun set on the
prospective parents.
The end (Till next time)
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