**FINAL NEWS UPDATE***

[Sunnydale Weekly <SunnydaleWeekly@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Brought to you by the Buffy News Network.....


There are conflicting reports coming in that the rogue group calling
themselves the "Riley Slayers" have just arrived or are on their way now
from Sunnydale airport. Apparently their action was triggered by an earlier
interview conducted with Finn and Buffy Summers. . .they apparently became
enraged when he got down on his knees and kissed her forhead on national TV.
Why this triggered them into action still remains a mystery.

Unconfirmed reports say that Ms. Summers has obsiously undergone some sort
of emotional truama, apparently linked to the foaming-at-the-month-Finn, who
has continued his ramblings and is now claiming that his doctors are really
a werewolf and a neutered vampire.

Finn's brother, Adam, was spotted earlier speaking with a group of
disfigured teens. After a few moments they could be seen bowing to him and
running off towards Lowell house carrying pointy sticks and a wide
assortment of weapons. Right now we are standing infront of Lowell house as
the teens are pouring out, bringing several others with them. It looks like
some of the others have an odd skin disease which leaves them looking green,
brown, orange and any other color you can think of. This is one site this
reporter will not soon forget. It looks like the gang of teens are headed
in the direction of where we last spotted Miss Willow Rosenberg.......

Other reports are now stating that Miss Rosenburg has been joined by several
of the Riley Slayers, who intend to protect and help liberate Miss Summers
from the clutchs of the Finn brothers. There spokesperson, one miss Fatih,
Get-that-damn-thing-out-of-my-face!, has reproted to have said that this
maddness will end one way or another. It should be noted that Ms. Faith
Get-that-damn-thing-out-of-my-face! was holding conference with another
unidentified person carring a doll dressed up as General Patton.

The LA detective was spotted trying to negotiate with the Finn brothers but
apparently huckelberry has been able to hold him at bay so far. He was
seen swinging a flaming stick at the detective each time he approached. Why
this disturbed the detective so much is unclear although there are reports
that the doll claims "daddy doesn't like fire all that much. It makes him
cranky."

Miss Summers' mother has been unavailble comment, although rumour has it the
Mrs. Joyce Summers was seen in the company of former Sunnydale High
Librarian Rupert Giles at a local magic shop and an undisclosed church,
buying exortism equipment.

It was reported that the Librarian had been acting strange. He was dressed
in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with a leather jacket. There are
conflicting reports as to whether he has indeed pierced his nose or not
although a large purple bruise was seen on his neck that hadn't been there
before he and Mrs. Summers left for the local magic shop.

MRs. Summers had no comment although she did have this dreamy look in her
eyes as a police car cruised by and she is reported to have said "Oh look
Ripper, our first date!"

In another report, we've learned that the LA Detective was making some
progress with huckelberr---er, Mr. Finn. That is until his secretary handed
him a metal rod. Mr. Fin then lost his composure and could be heard
screaming. "Rod! My Rod, my father, why have you forsaken me! Where is
Rod?!?" There are conflicting reports that say either Mr. Finn either fell
to the ground and curled up into a fetal position or he began to pace
mumbling about a neutered vampire and a werewolf romping through a forrest
snacking on graham crackers. . .again.


Finally, some inside informants have told us that the Finn brothers are not
who they appear to be. This is it folks, what we've been on the edges of
our seats waiting for. One informant has revealed that the Finn brothers
are actually Kimber and Shadow in brilliant disguises. 

That's right, you read it here. Kimber has gone mad (although some say she
wasn't far from it to begin with) and has taken Shadowlander along for the
ride! As far as this reporter knows, The Rocky Road has not been updated in
several weeks but it has been confirmed that the work of fiction is
completed. Also, Shadowlander is working on the bookcage scene between
Buffy and Willow as we speak, but has also refused to release the material.

Why you ask? What would drive two seemingly harmless (yeah right) fic
writers to such lengths?? All bets are on the fact that the List Dad,
Rodrigus, has been absent from his authors lives. Kimber was quoted as
saying, "All he has to do is come out and play. That's all *sniff sniff*. .
.is that too much to ask? I've had Rocky Road finished for almost two weeks
now and still he doesn't come to pester me about posting it! He's
neglecting us. . .he doesn't love us anymore. . he doesn't love ME anymore
.*sniff sniff* (blows nose). . .I've already lost my soul because ours is a
love that is damned by the Powers That Be, but still I write. ROD! WHERE
ARE YOU?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? COME BACK, COME BACK!" end quote.

Shadowlander has yet to be reached for comment although conflicting reports
show that she is currently locked in a mansion with a naked Brunette Slayer
and blonde vampire. At this time, the whereabouts of the doll in General
Patton's uniform is still unknown.





***Sunnydale Weekly - What you know today will more than likely change
tomorrow. . .Taking a bite out of the news since 1996***

THIS NEWS REPORT AND ALL OTHER PREVIOUS REPORTS HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU
COURTESY OF THE TWISTED, SICK, DIMENTED, DARK, DAMP, CREEPY (DID I MENTION
SICK) LITTLE CREVICES OF THE MINDS OF KIMBER AND SHADOWLANDER. 
****************
Kimber here...you heard right folks. I'm holding out till dad plays
nice...and so is Shadow. Pester him..email him..send him desperate smoke
signals...hehe...

Rodrigo's email addy: myself03@xxxxxxxxxx

*grumble grumble* this'll teach the mad brazilian to mess with the Jersey
Vamp Vixen and the Wiley Carolinan she-wolf.





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