Female of the Species (14/?) By Lesley Mckenna

["Diana Renee Bouvier" <DianaBouvier@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Female of the Species
Author: Lesley Mckenna: mckenna@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Feedback: Please send it to Lesley.
Rating: PG or a mild R
Spoilers: None really.



PART FOURTEEN

"I want to see Giles," Buffy said, staring Lilith straight in the eye,
refusing to back down despite the growing feeling that maybe she soon would.
Like Willow, who stood unresisting beside her, who uttered not a single word
in protest. Which angered Buffy because why wasn't Willow - her so-called
soul-mate - arguing along with her? Why wasn't she even attempting to put up
some kind of fight? But no, Willow was totally and completely closed to her.
Unreadable, as Willow had never been before. Seemed lost in her own
isolation. Perhaps dumbfounded because of Lilith's Goddess identity. But
Willow had known that already, hadn't she? Ah yes. But knowing and seeing
were different things. Knowing was in your mind. Seeing... Well, seeing was
being confronted with it. Bang. Shot right between the eyes with the
unshakable, unpalatable truth.

Buffy struggled with the idea of shaking Willow, gave it up. No use using
force against Willow. Not here. So she repeated her request to be allowed to
see Giles instead.

Lilith inclined her head, smiled a secret smile that made the old face
appear mysterious, almost beautiful again, as she had once been.

"And what makes you so certain that he would want to see you, Slayer?" she
murmured. "How do you know that he hasn't forgotten you?"

"Giles wouldn't forget us. Never," Buffy muttered furiously. "Will, tell
her. For God's sake, Will, am I the only one with any... any backbone here?"

Willow turned to Buffy; the expression in her eyes terrified the Slayer.
Willow's eyes were cold; almost, but not quite, hostile. Her words were even
more so. They confirmed to Buffy that she had given up, maybe even accepted
the situation. Yes, betrayal...

Oh, Will...

"Buffy, you know that anything can happen here. One sip of the water from
the fountain, that's all it'd take for Giles to forget us. Lilith is giving
us a fair chance to join with her." She turned from Buffy, went to look out
the small window that overlooked the small enclosed yard with its sparkling,
mind-destroying fountain. "Everything that Lilith has said is true," she
continued. "Only a few hundred years ago, I would have been one of the women
who died during the Burning Times. Witch, they would've called me as I
burned." She turned back to Buffy, tears sparkling in her eyes now. "Would
that have been right, Buffy? Because what harm have I ever done with my
spells? None. Even helped you save the world, right? But I would've died.
Thousands and thousands like me - and women suspected of being like me -
were put to death because..."

"Will, stop it!" Buffy cried. "She's got you bewitched or... or something."

Willow shook her head.

"No, Buffy. Not bewitched." Willow's eyes were still glistening with unshed
tears, but that cold look was also returning. That and... something else,
that Buffy couldn't define. Once again, Willow was totally closed to her and
Buffy felt like crumpling up in a heap and surrendering too. But no.

"Besides," Willow was saying, going on and on, while Lilith was watching,
that small smile still curving her thin lips. "What have men ever done for
us? The men we loved, I mean? The only man who hasn't betrayed either of us
is Giles, and he's going to be saved."

"I don't call that saved!" Buffy hissed, furious. "Used as... as..." Buffy
couldn't bring herself to speak Giles' fate.

She turned from Willow, unable to look at her anymore. The sight of the
woman she had only a short time ago considered to be her One True Love had
really broken faith her, abdicated to enemy ranks, made her want to throw
up. Didn't matter if she was bewitched. Or whatever. A betrayal was a
betrayal. Still meant she was on her own. So she looked at Lilith instead.
Not much better a sight, but at least Lilith had never pretended to be
anything other than she was.

"So what're you gonna do to Giles? Exploit him till he's all used up, like
Xander? Till he dies of... of... whatever it is you creatures will do to
him, like it was done to Xander? My friend?"

She flung a vicious look at Willow, who didn't flinch, either at Xander's
name, or at the fact that Buffy had accentuated the "my" in regard to their
once strong friendship.

"No, Slayer," Lilith replied with that infuriating calm that made Buffy want
to knock her old head off her shoulders. "Not like was done to Xander.
Xander Harris was not the kind of man we want to save. He was easy to
seduce. Easy to make him break faith with his woman. One dream is all it
took, Slayer. He was weak, your friend. No, no, there was nothing special
about him. Just a source of food for my daughter."

"Hey, Xander might not have been ultra-clever or... or... anything special,
but he was still a good man... He was..."

Buffy didn't bother trying to argue with what Lilith had said about Xander
being weak. Because there was no argument. Xander had never really, truly
been a strong person. Most of the time he had coasted through life, not
especially bothered about cause and effect. One of life's drifters...

"Not required," Lilith finished for her. "And if you continue to argue with
me, I shall indeed subject Mr. Giles to other than what we have planned for
him. And it won't be death from pleasure, Slayer, believe me. It will be
death from excruciating torment, which you will watch, knowing that you had
brought it to him. Enough is enough. You will help me; you will give
yourself to me as Willow has. Is that not so, Willow?"

"It is so, Mother," Willow replied dreamily, apparently having fully
accepted Lilith as her Goddess.

And Buffy fought hard against the tears that threatened.

Lilith rose from her chair, with difficulty it seemed, and Willow went round
to help her. If Buffy hadn't been so angry, so despondent, she would have
found the action touching. Underneath her bitterness against men, Lilith was
not what Buffy would call evil. But her bitterness had twisted her to the
extent that it caused her to intend evil acts against half the world's
population. True, Buffy thought, watching the old woman lean on Willow for
support as she walked, there were a few men who maybe deserved what Lilith
had in mind. But murder was murder, no matter how prettily you tried to
paint it.

Pictures of poor Pete Madison, made, she had no doubt now, to shoot himself
with his own gun simply because he was the "wrong" sex, flooded her mind.
Obviously he hadn't measured up to Lilith's high demands either. What was
wrong with him? She wondered. What personality flaw had caused Pete's death?
Or was he simply not suitable breeding stock? And as to that...

"How do you propose to make women accept this?" she asked Lilith. "What
about the women left widowed, without sons or lovers? Why do you think
they'd embrace your... your so-called female Utopia?"

Lilith stopped her slow progression across the room, leaned against Willow,
who put a supporting arm around her.

"The water from the fountain will help them forget their grief. Sometimes
people do not accept what is best for them because sometimes the best way is
painful. But my way - it will be easy and painless and the earth will be
free of war and its constant desecration."

Buffy laughed grimly. Looked at Willow.

"See what you're going with, Will?" she said bitterly. "Not much better than
the old ways. Tyranny dressed up in a pretty, feminine package. Well chosen,
Will. I'm real proud of you."

But Willow just shook her head helplessly, and once again, Buffy knew it was
hopeless.

"If you want to see your friend," Lilith said, "then come with me. And as we
go, I shall explain to you how it shall be when women take up their rightful
guardianship of the earth again."

Desperate to see how Giles was faring, Buffy had little choice but to
follow.

They made slow progress through the vast palace. Everywhere they went, so
the daughters of Lilith - many, many of them - stopped to bow respectfully
as their ancient mother moved amongst them. Despite herself, Buffy felt
moved by their total deference, their complete love of her. She had to
remind herself that this woman - whatever her title or status - planned mass
destruction. Because she could see exactly why she was revered, if only for
her great age, which must stretch into millennia.

"What was he like?" Buffy found herself asking. "Adam, I mean?" She wanted
to understand what kind of man had inspired such bitterness.

Lilith motioned to Willow to help her into another courtyard; similar to the
other they had walked through. In the courtyard, there was a stone bench, on
which Lilith settled herself. Willow, Buffy saw, settled herself by Lilith's
feet, and although she didn't want to, Buffy did the same. Not that she was
giving herself, she thought defiantly, and shot a sharp look into Lilith's
eyes, conveying this, but the old woman smiled knowingly at her.

"Adam, of course, was not the first man," she began. "That is myth and
legend, just as I was not the first woman. Evolution had brought us to be
what we were, which was harmonious with nature and ourselves and the spirits
around us. We were a matriarchal society - the women gave birth, the men
honored us and yes, feared us, a little, because we did what they could
never do, and we were responsible for the continuing of the race. Most men
would never dare force us into the sexual act, because that was a breach and
desecration of the Earth Mother's love.

"Until Adam." Lilith's upper lip curled in a sneer of contempt.

"Adam was a proud man. Too proud. Too sure of his strength. And as I was...
what you would call priestess of our clan, so he was priest, equal together,
but in different ways. And one day, after seeking visions, he came and
called the men into counsel and told them that a new God had spoken to him.
And that God had told him to begin a new order. That they needed the male's
superior strength to create this order, and that the women should serve this
new male God, and accept the males of the community as their masters. After
all, he told the men, and later, we women, did not the females of other
animals serve their males? Were not all males but human males superior to
their female kind?"

Lilith shook her head, in sorrow, Buffy thought.

"Of course, Adam was not speaking with his soul, and who knew if he was even
speaking with honesty about what this so-called new God had said to him?
Neither female nor male in the animal kingdom are superior. As we once did,
so they each play their part equally. Man is, almost without exception, the
only male of any species that rapes its women, and so it began after Adam
received his "visions".

Buffy closed her eyes. Yes, she could even see it, how it went. Lilith's
memories were still so clear, so sharp, in her aged mind, that they
projected into Buffy's mind as Lilith related them to her. And more images,
bombarding her. All through the ages. Women kept as trophies of war.
Brutally treated. Raped into submission. Made to bow before their male
oppressors.

Then, even more horrifying, herself, fighting with Angel. How he had laughed
at her. How he had tried to beat her. Even tried to kill her. True, there
was a demon there; built didn't Buffy see something of male dominance in his
eyes? Didn't she...? And her father... Always trying to assert his male
authority over her and her mother, and when he couldn't, he deserted them
both...

"It started with small violence." Lilith was saying, and Buffy tried to
concentrate on listening to the story, tried to forget the pain that her own
memories had made her feel. "Word violence. The women were made to feel
small and useless, and almost dirty. Little by little, our natural cycles,
once worshipped because our menstrual blood was the sign that we gave life,
became considered to be dirty, a sign that women were unclean and unworthy.
So the men forced the women who were bleeding out of the camp for the
duration of the bleeding. Bad magic, they called it."

Willow, Buffy saw, was nodding in agreement, as though she had lived through
it herself.

"Despite this," Lilith said, "we might have overcome, and the balance
regained. Some of the men were uneasy about way things had progressed, did
not like the idea that we women were suddenly being treated so badly. Were
even afraid of the Goddess' wrath. But Adam was a powerful leader, good with
words, persuasive in his arguments that the male God had killed the Goddess.
And then she betrayed us all. Eve. After that, the battle between male and
female was lost."

"How so?" Buffy asked. "Wasn't Eve a woman too?" Willow, she saw, was
looking at Lilith with glazed eyes. Still useless. But nonetheless, Buffy
wanted to hear this. Whatever else, Lilith told a good story.

"Eve was always beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the clan. And she
knew it, was clever and resourceful. Had always put herself and her own
safety before that of the Great Mother. She watched turning of the tide, and
decided to turn with it. While the other women were still - especially me -
fighting against the changes that were happening, and suffering for it with
beatings, so Eve went the other way. She made herself even more alluring,
made herself totally subjugate to the men. Before long, Adam noticed her.
And she in turn noticed his interest, pleased him with her pretty face and
slavish manner. Because he was the most powerful man in the clan, she gave
herself to him willingly, knowing that I, angry as I was with the
transgressions against the Mother, refused him and had been subjected to
public rapes because Adam was furious with me for not accepting the
changes."

Buffy turned her gaze away from Lilith as the old woman paused. She found
herself feeling sympathy. Oh yes, she could see it, exactly how Lilith
described it. And she found herself wondering - why hadn't Lilith been
mentioned in the Bible? Because, although she was no expert, she couldn't
ever remember Lilith's name as having been written. Well, not in respect to
the Creation, anyway. She heard Lilith chuckle bitterly, knew her mind had
been read.

"Do you really believe that I would have been written into that story?"
Lilith asked. "By the time the Bible was written, the men had long taken
over society. Of course they would write the Creation in favor of Adam, and
of Eve. And even then, they had to make Eve, as a woman, the weak one, the
one who succumbed to the evil of the devil." A shake of the head. "They
would never say it was Adam who caused the real evil, the imbalance of
nature."

"But you were driven out?" Buffy said.

"Of course. I caused too much trouble." The bright eyes clouded over. "Every
man took turns in raping me, then I was beaten out. Told to never come back.
Cursed me with the hatred of their male god. And that, my daughters, was
when I made my vow. I vowed to become the goddess in human form, vowed
vengeance on the men who had treated my sisters and me so badly.

"And so it was granted by the still-hurting Earth Mother. I became what I am
now - but younger of course. As my metamorphosis continued, so I mated with
human men, seduced by my unearthly beauty. I gave birth to my Lilim, the
daughters you see here. And over the years, my bitterness built a new
dimension, this you see here. It secluded me from men. My power grew, and
the power of my daughters grew. We were able to project ourselves out into
the minds of men..."

"And the... the other Goddess... the Light side? Where does she fit into
this?" Buffy said, glancing at Willow, who had her eyes closed, who seemed
to be meditating on what Lilith had said.

Lilith gave another smile.

"She is the other half of me, the good side that left me in my bitterness.
The side that believes there is good in all men. But we will merge, the
Light side and I, when She knows She has no choice. Because even goodness
knows that something on the earth has to change if it is not to die. And it
will die, if its violation continues."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She was appalled at what she'd heard; yet
still appalled at what Lilith was planning. Even more appalled that she, the
Slayer, Mankind's protector, was swaying toward Lilith's vision. Abruptly
she stood. Went to the little fountain that sprayed its clear water into the
air.

"If I drank this," she said, "would I lose my memory?"

"All the water in the fountains has the same mind-clearing properties. So
yes, you would." Buffy turned and saw Lilith's eyes gleaming.

Turning back, Buffy looked into the clear blue depths. Put her hand into it.
She wanted to forget. Needed to forget. Because wasn't it hopeless? Wasn't
she already lost? Hadn't she been lost from the second they'd entered this
dimension? Maybe she'd known that, and had come along anyway. Maybe, deep
down, she wanted the changes Lilith intended...

"I don't want you to drink that, Buffy," Lilith said, using her name for the
first time since their meeting. "I want you to come to me willingly."

Buffy turned.

"I can't," she said, choking on a tear. "How can I say yes, knowing that
I'll be responsible for millions of deaths? I can't do that!"

But Lilith just smiled.

"You wanted to see your friend," she reminded her. "Come and see him. See
that he's quite happy, quite contented."

Stiffly, Lilith rose. Willow seemed to break out of her spell and helped her
up. Once again, Buffy wondered what in hell had happened to Willow. Guessed
they wouldn't be left alone to talk, so that Buffy could find out. Lilith
was not stupid. Lilith, apparently, had everything planned down to the
tiniest detail.

"The men who will be saved will live in especially allocated... homes,"
Lilith said as they followed her to wherever she was taking them. "Special
breeding centers where women may visit to chose a mate. These men, chosen
for their good character, good looks, good brains, will be very well
treated. The best of food to keep them in good condition, warmth and
clothing..."

"A prison though," Buffy muttered, her brain her own again. "Or slave
quarters. And what happens when they're too old to give women children?"

"They will be allowed to live out their lives in comfort. No murder for the
good men, Buffy."

"And what about male children? What about them? How will you screen them?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Buffy. But that is a good thing. Male children
will be with their mothers for the first few years. Taught the Ways. Then
they will go to special centers where they will be screened for flaws and
defects. If they fail the screening, then..." Lilith met Buffy's eyes, and
Buffy knew what she hadn't said. If they failed the screening, they would
die. "Although, in some cases, if their minds and characters are good, they
may be saved for sperm donation. But that will be up to female scientists to
decide."

They turned a corner into a small building. It was functional rather than
beautiful. Lilith stopped her slow progress.

"Your friend is in there," she said. "You may visit him if you wish."

Buffy nodded, deciding to forget everything Lilith had said. For now, seeing
that Giles was indeed okay was more important.

"You coming?" Buffy asked Willow. But Willow shook her head.

"Lilith and I have things to talk about," she said, still distant, still
unreachable.

Buffy gave up.

"Guess I'm alone then," she said.

And walked toward the building.