FF: Full Circle

["Michael Alt" <jetthd@xxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Full Circle
AUTHOR: Michael
RATING: PG (Two women kiss. If same sex pairings offend you go away.)
FEEDBACK: This is my first attempt at fan fiction. Please be gentle.
ARCHIVE: I would be honored. Just let me know.
SPOILERS: References to events and people through the fourth season.
DISCLAIMER: Buffy is Joss' "concept, man. The extreme, man. It came from his brain." All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy & Warner Brothers. This is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

FULL CIRCLE

This was one of her favorite times of the year. The beginning of the new 
school year had always been a time she had looked forward to since grade school. She had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and a keen intellect to match. Life during the school year had usually been a different matter for the young scholar. She was often mercilessly teased both for being a "geek" or "nerd" and because of her lack of fashion sense (or, more correctly, her mother's since her mom bought her clothes). Still she coped and now here she was back in the same high school she had attended as a student. Well not actually the same high school - her high school had been blown up by Buffy in order to destroy the demon which had formally been the mayor. Now a new school had been built but the old name remained - Sunnydale High School - and built on the same site. And this was where she worked now as the school librarian (had been for 11 years now). She hadn't planned on being a librarian. As a sophomore in high school her plan had been to become either a research scientist or a computer programmer but her life had irrevocably changed that year with Buffy's arrival. Her thoughts were interrupted when she suddenly became aware of the radio which she had tuned in to a classic rock station. A slow smile spread across her face with just a hint of sadness mixed in as she recognized the song - a song from days long gone. And as her thoughts drifted back in time the announcer could be heard to say " ... and that was Dingoes Ate My Baby with their hit from 13 years ago ... ".

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Her thoughts carried her back to 2003. It was the year she graduated from college. It had been a hectic four years and she had come through it but 
not unscathed. Her relationship with Oz had ended early in her freshman 
year and that had nearly destroyed her. Buffy had been her closest friend 
since her sophomore year in high school but Buffy had her own problems and wasn't able to be there for her. Eventually she had recovered thanks to another student that she met in a Wiccan group. Tara had reminded her of herself when she was younger. Tara did not dress in the hippest clothes, she didn't have many friends and in general suffered from low self-esteem. The two quickly became friends and as things progressed they became lovers. It wasn't something that either of them had planned but it had happened. Looking back on the relationship now it had been one between a mentor and a prodigy and as Tara's self-esteem grew and she became a more confident person they had drifted apart until finally they separated. That had been the summer after their junior year. And while this relationship had ended much better than her one with Oz it did take some time to recover. She dated some during her senior year but never got serious with anybody. Instead she spent most of her time with Buffy. Buffy's relationship with Riley had ended right at the end of their junior year so she and Buffy commiserated with each other. Their friendship blossomed once again and it felt almost like being back in high school. She would go out on patrol with Buffy and now that she had gotten much better at spell-casting was actually able to be a very big help. It was also nice that for the first time since they had met it was a period of relative quiet in Sunnydale. Buffy and Giles had even managed to reconcile with the council after the council agreed to make some changes. Sure, there were the occasional vamps and demons but no Ascensions or hellmouth openings. It was probably the happiest time in her young life because she had come to realize that her love for Buffy was more than just that of friends.

Shortly after they graduated Buffy's mother died. She hadn't been feeling 
well and when she had finally gone to a doctor it was too late. She was  
with an advanced case of ovarian cancer. Within two months she was gone. Buffy had been devastated and her friend had helped as much as she could but the suddenness and shock of it all had taken a heavy toll on the slayer. Buffy had then been forced to leave because of events unfolding in Romania and seemed to throw herself completely into slaying. The red head had never found the courage to tell Buffy just how much she loved her and now Buffy was gone.

Faith was in Romania as well but the two slayers had managed an uneasy peace between them. After turning herself in Faith had been convicted on severalassault charges but there had not been enough evidence to tie her to any of the murders and at Angel's urging she had not confessed to any. Angel knew that her true redemption would only happen once she started helping others. She was out in 3 years and seemed to be a changed person. Angel had been instrumental in her turnaround and was a frequent visitor to her cell while she was in prison.

Once again the library science graduate found herself alone. Well not 
entirely. There was still Xander and of course Giles but Xander and Anya  
were now married and after a two year lay-off he was now enrolled in college (and doing quite well now that he was ready to apply himself) and Giles had slowly developed a circle of friends closer to his own age. She did meet up with Giles from time to time for lunch or tea and he certainly felt a twinge of pride that she had more or less followed in his footsteps but mostly she was lonely.

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Two years later she had finished her master's degree (also in library 
science) and was accepted to fill the vacant librarian position at good old 
SHS. The school had been rebuilt two years after the last one had blown-up and at four years old now was just getting broken in. The library was much larger than the last one, mostly to accomodate all the data terminals. She smiled knowing how much Giles would've hated that. Giles - the memories tied to that name. He had returned to England last year and his former charge, the chosen one was God knows where. Buffy called her from time to time, each time from a different locale. During these phone calls the young witch's heart would soar and yet she still found herself unable to express her true feelings to Buffy. And the loneliness after the calls was almost unbearable. She missed Buffy so much. While things had remained quiet here in Boca del Infierno the same could not be said for the rest of the world. At 24 years of age Buffy had passed the average life expectancy of a slayer 6 years ago. It was just fortunate for the world (and for Buffy) that Faith was around. Between them there seemingly wasn't anything they couldn't handle although on occasion it did take both of them. As for the rest of the Scooby Gang, Xander had now graduated - with a teaching certificate! Who would've thought that would happen. Xander had threatened to look up his old guidance counselor just to wave it in his face but he never did. He would be joining the young librarian at their old school as a history teacher. It had been all the research he had helped with as a slayerette that had sparked his interest in history (it had just taken a while for the spark to start enough of a blaze to get him back in school). At least she would have Xander around to help assuage her loneliness. He and Anya were 
also expecting their first child that coming spring. She had also attended 
the wedding of Cordelia and Wesley this past summer. Cordelia had finally found some success as an actress while Wesley continued working with Angel. Angel still continued his mission as a savior of troubled souls - still trying to find redemption. The red head felt personally that he had 
redeemed himself several times over but what she thought didn't matter to 
Angel. He had to come to peace with himself. As for herself she stayed 
alone. She and Oz would still see each other from time to time when his 
band passed through southern California but things had really been going 
well for the band. They had released their first album two years ago (and 
had a hit song off that album). They had just released their second album 
and it seemed to be taking off where the other one had left off. They had 
had quite a bit of time to see each other during the recording of the album 
but now they were out on tour. They would always be friends. He had been her first love and would always be special to her but it wasn't destined to be. It had been a similar story between Angel and Buffy. Buffy. Of all the people she had grown up with it was Buffy she missed the most. The reason she stayed alone was because only Buffy could take that aloneness away. And she hoped with all her heart that her destiny included Buffy.

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Another five years had passed and her life was pretty much the same. She and Xander had grown closer again just for the fact that they worked 
together and she adored his children. There were three of them now. His 
oldest was almost five and had beautiful blonde hair. Her name was Alexis. The younger kids, both boys, were born a year apart. They had named them Larry and Alex Jr. and they were 3 and 2 years old respectively. And to look at them was to know what Xander looked like as a child. Many nights would find the young red head at Xander's to be with the kids. This helped ease the emptiness she felt in her own life. She knew now that Xander had been watching her all this time and worrying about her. And she knew now that he had vowed to find someway to ease her pain. But until he did the only ease her heart knew still came in the form of phone calls from Buffy.  

The slayer. Buffy had now managed to become the oldest slayer ever and no one knew how long she could go on. They were on uncharted ground here. The witch worried about her and missed her with every breath she took. Then one day the phone rang. It had been Buffy and she had called her best friend to let her know she was going to be coming home for a visit. The red head thought her heart was going to burst it pounded so. Her Buffy. Coming home. She hadn't seen Buffy in 7 long years. And then the panic set in. How would she be able to tell the slayer all that she longed to tell her - and how would Buffy react? It was in that moment that she realized she couldn't tell - not and risk their friendship. Buffy had been accepting of her relationship with Tara but acceptance was not necessarily approval and Buffy had never shown any indication of `liking girls'. Not being with Buffy was painful enough but to lose her friendship would be like death itself. And it was in this frame of mind that she went to meet Buffy at the airport. As she had waited for all the passengers to exit the plane her heart had pounded so hard that she was amazed that the people standing around her couldn't hear it. Finally she caught the blonde head of hair that could only belong to Buffy and she found herself suddenly starting to cry. When Buffy caught sight of her dear friend she broke out in a broad smile but it quickly disappeared when she saw the state the red head was in. Buffy had run over to her and had wrapped her in her arms and in that moment the red head knew such joy as she had never felt - being wrapped in the arms of the slayer - and the tears just continued coming. It took almost 15 minutes for a very concerned and troubled slayer to get her friend to stop sobbing long enough to find out what was wrong. Finally the witch was able to tell Buffy that nothing was wrong - only that she was so very happy to have Buffy back here in Sunnydale. After seeing the unbridled joy that her mere presence had brought to her friend, Buffy started to cry as well. What the red head didn't know about was the phone call that Buffy had received from a certain history teacher and the blonde woman knew what she had to do.

By the time Buffy's luggage appeared we had finally managed to compose 
ourselves so we gathered up Buffy's bags and took a taxi back to my 
apartment. We hardly spoke on the way as we were both deep in thought. I didn't know what Buffy was thinking about but I was trying to understand her reaction. I hadn't expected her to understand my tears but if that was the case her response should've been confusion or concern. Instead Buffy had shed tears of her own and I was at a loss as to why. My thoughts were interrupted as the cab pulled to a stop in front of my apartment. We got out and while I paid the cabbie Buffy unloaded her luggage. Once we got inside Buffy turned to me and said "Will, we've got to talk." I could feel the blood drain from my face as I thought `She knows. Oh God, she's figured out how I feel about her and that's what upset her'. Buffy must have sensed my distress because she then walked over to me and pulled me into her arms. "What's wrong Will?" "Oh Buffy, please don't hate me. I couldn't bear it if you hated me." "HATE you?! No Will, you don't understand at all. I need to explain to you why I've avoided coming back to Sunnydale. It wasn't because of Mom's death or because the watcher council always needed me elsewhere. I could've found some time here and there to come visit but I didn't because leaving the first time was so acutely painful for me I didn't want to go through that again. Will, haven't you figured it out by now? I love you. I've loved you since my first day in school here. Cordy made that rude remark about your clothes and I saw the hurt flash through your eyes and I knew, right then, that all I ever wanted was to take care of you, love you and protect you." I started to cry. Buffy loved me - she had said so. Buffy continued on. "But I never told you because I was afraid you'd reject me if you knew I liked girls. Then there was Tara. You could be attracted to girls and yet you hadn't chosen me and even after you two split I didn't get any indication from you that you thought of me as anything but a friend. It all seems so stupid to me now but that's what I was thinking. We were spending so much time together and that was enough for awhile but 
when Mom died I just had to get away." Tears were now starting to run down Buffy's cheeks as well. "It's time for this to stop. We've spent way too long hiding our feelings from each other. I know how you feel now - Xander told me. He called me and that's why I'm here now. Willow, I love you." "Buffy. I feel terrible. After Tara I was so careful around you. I didn't want you to think I was hitting on you even though ... XANDER TOLD YOU? How'd he know?" Buffy took me in her arms and just before we kissed for the first time she said "I don't know but remind me to thank him."

The next morning had found her awakening wrapped in the slayer's slender yet powerful arms. The tow women had finally broken through the barrier of fear that each had erected and finally been swept away by the love that each felt so passionately for the other. And as she lay there in Buffy's arms she knew that indeed Buffy was her destiny. Her most ardent wish had come true.  

Buffy's weeklong stay was all too short but they managed to pack as much living and loving into it as they could. The day of Buffy's departure 
arrived and as the two embraced at the airport words were unnecessary as Buffy thought to herself `No matter what happens we will be together again. I WILL come back to her'. As Buffy boarded the plane the witch smiled to herself and whispered "I know you will."

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The next three years had passed by at a much quicker pace than the preceding lonely years had. Even though she and Buffy weren't able to see each other they were now in much closer contact than they had been before. What had started as a captured thought at the airport had transformed into a constant connection. She could feel Buffy, know that she was well, even when the slayer was on the other side of the globe. It wasn't anything as well-defined as being able to read thoughts - maybe that could only happen at close range - but it gave her reassurances that her lover was safe. She had also begun to feel when Buffy was in danger and had worked out a spell which enabled her to supply Buffy with her own strengths at any time Buffy may need it. It was during one particularly nasty fight that the reality of what she had done hit home. As Buffy fought for her very life the librarian could feel her stamina draining from herself until she collapsed behind the check-out counter as Buffy finally finished off the last of her opponents. The spell had fused the two women and she realized that if Buffy died she would as well. She wouldn't have it any other way.

It was during this very same incident that Buffy realized what the red head 
done. She had felt her lover's presence more than once but she knew without a doubt that this fight would've been her last if it hadn't been for the strength she had felt coming from her other half. She also sensed that she could've drained her love completely and that was a thought she couldn't live with. This had to stop.

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Another month had passed - a quiet month and Buffy was safe - and the 
librarian was seated in front of her computer when a surge of pure joy 
coursed through every fiber of her being. It only took her a moment to 
realize what was happening - her Buffy was on her way home. A student had walked into the library 10 seconds later to find an over-turned chair, a 
blinking cursor waiting for the next response and no librarian.

As she exited the tunnel into the airport Buffy instantly spied her love.  
The two ran to each other and grabbed each other up in what can only be 
described as a lover's embrace. Their lips met in a passioante kiss as the rest of the airport terminal faded away. At that moment there was nothing 
else but their love for each other. The pair finally separated only when 
lack of oxygen once again became an issue and Buffy whispered "I'm back where I belong - and this time it's for good". The red head stood there for a moment as the words sunk in. "For good?" she asked, not believing that it could be true. "Forever" came the reply. "Oh God, Buffy. How? How did you ever convince the council to let you stay here?" "Well I had some help. After that nasty business a month ago - and I know that you know what I'm talking about - I knew that I needed out. I'm 32 years old and slaying is a young persons calling so I went before the council with my request. At first they just flat-out denied my request but then a voice from the back of the room spoke up. It was Giles, Will, and he told the council what I hadn't - that I would've died if it hadn't been for you and that a retired slayer bound to a witch that powerful would certainly be of more help than would a dead slayer. There was still some discussion after that but here I am. The first slayer to make it to retirement age." "But Buffy, how did you know about my spell - and how did Giles know?" "I think I can answer that - at least the last part" came a voice from behind the now confused witch. "Giles!" both girls exclaimed as one before wrapping their arms around him in a welcoming hug. "Come on girls. Let's get going. There surely are better places to converse than airport concourses and I could really use a spot of tea." With that we began the journey home but I had to ask Buffy why she hadn't called to let me know of her return and she replied simply, "I knew that you would already know." And I had.

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The insistent ringing of the bell on the check-out counter brought the 
librarian back to the present day. She smiled as she saw Buffy standing in front of her. "Hey Will. Penny for your thoughts. You looked like you 
were a million miles away." "I was thinking of the day you came home to me. Buffy, have I told you how much I love you lately - how much I need you?" "Not since this morning but I never get tired of hearing it" Buffy replied as she smiled. "Okay then lover. What brings you here?" Buffy's smile quickly disappeared as her mind returned to the reason for coming. "Giles called me. Faith is dead. It happened last night in Hamburg. She was ambushed and didn't have a chance but she did manage to take all of the attackers with her. Now the council wants me out of retirement so that I ..." "NO! No-No-No-No-No-No NO! I will not let them put you in that kind of danger" the fiery red head said before Buffy could even finish her 
sentence. Buffy continued "... so that I could train the new slayer.  
Willow, one of the deciding factors in my retirement was that the council 
knew I would be settling here, with you. Giles is here because the council wanted him here as well. He's not your school principal because that was what he wanted to do with his life. He knew that the next slayer was right 
here in Sunnydale. Will, it's Alexis."

TBC? Maybe, If you want. Michael