Fic: A Firm Foundation (8b/11) NC17

[Red Willow <st8sboroblues@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: A Firm Foundation
Author: Red Willow
Email: st8sboroblues@xxxxxxxxx
Archive: www.papa-bear.com/RW/
Distribution: Ask me before you put this anywhere naughty.
Disclaimer: All characters and reference to belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all those
other peeps. i'm just using them to make my own fun. All original characters and fanfic plot ideas
belong to me, and are nothing more than a product of my dirty li'l mind. Girl-Girl lovin'- you no
like, you no read. 
Pairing: B/W overall.
Rating: This part's pretty tame.
Summary: pt8b. Follows 'The Spaces In Between' and 'Filling in the Gaps' - Much smut. Drama over a
naughty li'l video. Coming out.. more smut. You get the idea.
Feedback: Yes, please. Tell me how i may be of service. ;) 
Author's note: Let's remember that i'm just having fun with some of my favorite characters, and
that i have a dirty li'l mind. i won't apologize for anything, so if you're offended and/or don't
like what you're reading, then simply don't. 
**

His arms felt good around me. He's hugged me only a handful of times since we met, but those hugs
felt more intimate than any time my own father showed his affection. 

"Very much, dear Willow." He said softly and I smiled, pressing into him. 

Our 'big' news out and our worries extinguished, we could move on. 

"Great." I said, pulling away and glancing over at Buffy who stood watching us, a gently smile
playing over her face. "But there's more."

"More?" Dawn asked, surprised. 

I nodded but didn't respond. Instead I walked the few steps back over to Buffy and pulled her to
me for a soft kiss. 

"Ohh..." Xander smirked as I pulled away from Buffy. 

"No. No 'Ohh...'" I shook my head, and shot him a look. "That wasn't it. W-we... Well, me, really.
Me have... uh, I mean, I have something else to say." 

Buffy's hand was on my back, gently circling in a relaxing caress. Supporting me. Reassuring.
That's what my Buffy does. 

Dawn made a face as if to tell me to hurry up. I think she was upset that we managed to actually
keep something from her. 

"Go ahead, Willow." Giles urged, taking his seat again next to Xander. 

The two men twisted the tops of their Heineken bottles and took long swallows. Anya grabbed the
bottle from Xander, scowling that he hadn't thought to get her one, and took a sip before setting
it down in front of her.  

Grinning, Buffy handed Xander another. He blushed and returned the grin before twisting the top
of, keeping the bottle away from Anya. 

"O-Okay..." I started, nervous and fidgety. "This is the hard part." 

Giles watched me closely. Xander arched his eyebrow, glancing from me to Buffy. Anya smiled, no
doubt happy to see me so nervous. Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, waiting. 

"I-I-I..." I stopped and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

"Relax Willow." Buffy whispered; her hand making those nice circles on my back again. "Just take
your time."

I nodded and closed my eyes.  This really was the hard part. We had stressed and worried so much
over telling them that we were a couple, it hadn't really occurred to me that I should be telling
them this too. And once Buffy brought the subject up, I was worried that I would have no support
from them at all. I tried pushing the matter out of my head, even telling Buffy I was
reconsidering it. 

"I-I'm thinking... well, I was thinking... that uh... w-well, I want to... to study magic again." 

Giles straightened in his chair, his brow furrowing.  

Dawn's eyes went wide. 

"The right way this time." Buffy added for me. 

"Right!" I commented quickly. "The... right way. W-with help. A-and no... taking advantage of the
magicks." 

No one said anything, they just moved around uncomfortably.  

"Ah, Willow," Giles started, smiling awkwardly before continuing softly. "Are you quite sure
that's a smart idea?" 

"Yeah, Will," Added Xander. "You were getting real... err... um..." 

"Out of control." Dawn said, solemnly. 

"Yes. I-I was." I nodded in agreement. "But... you know... it's not so easy to just stop doing
magic. I-I mean... I-It's in me. The power. A-and I think... I-I mean, we think..."

"We?" Giles asked, looking at Buffy for confirmation. 

"Tara thinks." I told him, bringing his attention back to me. "Tara thinks that... with time,
a-and with the right teachers..." I trailed off, looking down at my feet. 

"Giles..." Buffy started, "She's been doing so good. A-and you know how stubborn she can be
about... well, about everything really." 

I shot her a look, "Hey!"

She grinned back at me. 

"It's true." Dawn agreed, grinning. 

I rolled my eyes, muttering, "You're one to talk."

"If we could get back to the subject at hand, ladies." Giles rapped on the table top, bringing our
attention back to him.

"Giles," I tried again, "I don't ever want to go to that o-out of control place again. Not like I
was a-after we... a-after I brought Buffy... back." 

Buffy's arm wrapped around me reassuringly and I leaned against her, glad for the contact. 

"I realize that, Willow, but-"

"But I still want to help." I told him. "I'm still research girl, a-all the way. But... too often
we deal with things that... we need magic for. A-and... not knocking your skills, Giles, but..."

He held up a hand. "No. You're quite right, Willow. We deal with far too many mystical threats and
far too often, magic has been the key to both information and the defeat of these things." 

"How can Tara help you, Will?" Xander asked me. "You were with her when you really started getting
it on with the mojo." 

I gave him a look and Giles turned to him. 

"Ah!" Xander reacted quickly. "Not getting it on... I-I uh... mean... maybe in my fantasies of
young witches doing spells together but certainly I didn't mean to say that I thought that..." He
caught everyone but Giles glaring at him and said, "Shutting up now."

"Good." Anya nodded. 

"Xander, you're right." I told him. "I-I was with Tara when I really started to gain my power and
explore the craft. But..." I looked down at my hands again, guilty. "I-I didn't listen to her. I-I
thought... I thought I knew it all. Tara's well learned and cautious and... a-and I never was."

I looked up at my family, all of them with looks of understanding and sympathy crossing their
faces. 

"I want to learn, Giles." I told him plainly. "Not that I don't realize why... b-but you always
tried to keep me away from magic... a-and... When I realized I have a true talent for it... I
liked the power." I sighed, looking down again. "I liked it too much. A-and I was too impatient to
really learn the value of it... to learn my gift."

Buffy wrapped her arms around me from behind, setting her chin on my shoulder. 

"Tara told her they could study together. Not just how to do spells, but what magic is really all
about. Where it comes from and how to use it... all that stuff." Buffy told them, trying to
explain. 

"Is it safe?" Asked Dawn, searching her sister's face, not mine. 

"I trust her." Buffy told all of them. "I know Will did some... well, some pretty stupid things." 

I nodded in agreement, keeping my eyes on the ground. I knew she was right.  

"But I know enough to know that learning control over what I truly believe is a gift, is way
different than taking advantage of power and... a-and using it to make party favors at the drop of
a hat." 

I looked up to see Giles nodding his agreement. 

"A-and I think," She continued. "That Tara knows the dangers that lie ahead for Willow, and wants
to keep her off that path, as much as the rest of us do." She hugged me tighter. "And besides all
that, I wouldn't let her do anything I wasn't sure she could handle." She kissed my cheek softly
before adding. "Not now that I'm actually paying attention." 

Everyone was quiet for a few moments, and I looked at each of them. I didn't need their permission
to go back to my studies of witchcraft, but I did need their support. And I was hoping that this
time Giles would help me learn as well. 

It was true what I told Buffy that night at the party; the magic is a part of me. I can feel it
inside me, like a gentle hum. Every day was a true struggle to get through when I first quit doing
spells. Since that time, I had come a long way, but it was still a struggle, having nothing in my
life that connected me with witchcraft, I felt lost. Having Buffy made me feel alive, made me
realize that there was a world away from magic that I could tap into and be incredibly happy...
But in all my effort to be happy with Buffy, it still wasn't enough. I needed the connection - not
in an addiction-y type way, but in a spiritual one.  

"I think it's a very brave decision, Willow." Giles spoke up, breaking the silence. 

I just looked at him, apprehensive. 

"You do, Giles?" Buffy asked. "Really?"

He nodded, standing up and coming toward us. I couldn't meet his eyes at first. I felt like I was
twelve again, seeking approval and knowing I would never measure up. 

"Yes." He said softly. 

Buffy backed away from me just as Giles' hands found my shoulders. I looked up into his eyes,
searching, and felt mine mist over. 

"I'm so sorry, Willow." 

"What? Giles you-"

"You're quite right," He admitted, cutting me off. "I should have been teaching you, instead of
trying to keep you from magic. I saw the potential for power in you and I... I was reminded of
me... and I feared you going down the same path as I did." 

I nodded that I understood. 

"But that was completely wrong of me." He continued. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when
you needed me the most. And... I'm sorry I didn't step in when I saw the changes in you sooner.
Before... before things started going so horribly wrong for you." 

"Oh, Giles..." I started, my voice soft and forgiving.

"Can you forgive me, Willow?" 

"Already done!" I wrapped my arms around him and indulged in another tight hug, feeling months of
tension between us dropping away. 

"Now," He began, pulling away. "I hope that you and Tara won't mind if I lend a hand in your...
new training, as it were." 

"O-oh no! Not at all!" I assured him, smiling. 

"If you take me to that guy's skanky place again, I'm kicking your ass." 

We all turned toward Dawn to see a smirk plastered across her face. 

"You won't be the only one, Dawn." Buffy quipped from beside me, nudging my shoulder with her own.


It was a sensitive subject we had all been avoiding - not just my magic use spiraling out of
control, but my addiction to the magic energy that Rack dealt out like a seedy drug pusher. Oddly
enough, though, I was glad for the humor. In her own way, Dawn let me know that she really had
forgiven me, and would support me in my decision. 

***

A few weeks had passed since we told our friends about us, and Willow's decision to return to
magic. Tara and Giles were both working with Willow and her magic, setting up a schedule around
Tara's summer classes and Giles' time at the Magic Box. The three of them quickly became very
dedicated to helping Willow get back on the right path with her magic use. Tara was reintroducing
Willow to Wicca as a religion, and this time around, Willow was paying attention. 

Things were going smoothly and we soon settled into a comfortable 'couple' place within our
closely-knit group. We didn't hold back from a few smoochies or hugs in the company of our
friends. Xander never mentioned thinking Willow had 'turned' me, something she had voiced her
worry about a few times. He and Dawn occasionally took to teasing the new 'lovebirds' until Anya
mentioned orgasms - that usually sent Dawn away. 

Giles was really supportive of us. We talked privately about my choice and he told me that he had
always wished me happiness, and was as broken hearted for me as I was when both Angel and Riley
had taken off. But he knew Willow was steadfast; and besides being a wonderful person, he knew
that we had a special connection and a friendship that went back a long time - something he
insisted was a firm foundation for any relationship. 

And he's right. We understand things about each other that no other lover ever could. No one can
just come into my life and pretend to know me. With Willow, she really does know me. Our
friendship has passed the test of time. Apocalypses, evil boyfriends, exploding schools, hellgods,
death, magic - whatever we went through before finally having the courage to admit to our own
feelings, we had to stick together, work through the problem and find a solution.  

Willow, Xander, Giles and I have always been more than some evil-fighting team, we're a family.
And if Willow and I can endure the trials of living over a hellmouth as friends, I think we have a
pretty great shot at succeeding as partners. 
**
tbc...





=====
"Everyone's gettin' spanked but me."  - Willow


	
		
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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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