Fic: RR&R Book IV (8b/?) NC17 see header for pairings

Chapter 8 continued

‘The silence is killing me,’ Xander thought as he watched Willow's face again go through a series of emotions from sadness to anger to resolve. Virtually from the moment they had walked onto the elevator, Willow had seemed to turn her focus inward—leaving him to try and figure out her mood from her _expression_.

“So, I guess we should talk about it,” Xander said with a sigh as they sat on the couch and Willow remained silent.

“About what?” Willow asked, seemingly surprised at the interruption of her thoughts.

“Will,” he reproved, giving her a knowing look.

Almost immediately her face crumpled and she began bawling. “Xander! You died!”

An ache appeared in Xander’s chest like he’d been kicked by a vampire. He quickly slid over to wrap the weeping redhead in his arms, pulling her into his lap as he whispered, “Hey, it’s ok,” over and over.

Willow sniffled back a sob and cried, “It’s not ok, you big dummy!”

“Will?” he asked, taken aback by her vehemence as he leaned away to look her in the eyes.

“How was I supposed to deal, without you in my life?” she demanded, looking torn between anger and sorrow.

‘Where the hell did that come from?’ he thought—shocked at her protestation.

“Don’t you get it?” she continued in a softer voice.

‘Obviously not,’ he thought, shaking his head both in answer, and in wonder at her behavior.

She reached up and cupped his face and with aching tenderness in her voice and _expression_ said, “I don’t think I can be me without you in my life. I love you Xander!”

“I...you...huh?” he stammered. “But, Tara...Buffy–”

“Not like that,” she protested, looking exasperated. Then she frowned and looked away for a moment as she continued. “Well...ok, maybe like that too.”

His eyes widened and he gulped aloud.

“But, what I meant was just...you’re my Xander,” she said as though that explained everything.

‘Maybe it does,’ he thought—imagining what life would be like if it had been Willow that had died.

“I think I get it,” he whispered, looking into her eyes and seeing the love he felt for her reflected back to him. He once again pulled her close to him, leaning in till their foreheads touched and he could feel her breath on his face. “I love you too Willow.”

After staring into each other’s eyes for an indeterminate amount of time she broke the silence. “Part of me really wants to kiss you right now,” she whispered breathily.

“Me too,” he whispered back, nearly groaning as she licked her lips. “I don’t think Tara and Buffy would be ok with that, though,” he added with a note of sadness in his voice.

“Or Dawnie,” Willow said in agreement.

“Only 'cause she’s not here to join us,” he added with a smirk, enjoying the way her eyes widened in shock.

“Xander!” she chastised. “Dawnie wouldn’t–”

“She told me,” he interrupted. “No naked Willow unless she was here to enjoy it.”

Willow's eyes widened again—briefly—before a look of lust replaced the surprise. “She really said...not just teasing you?” she asked, incredulous.

“Oh, she was definitely teasing me,” Xander said with a chuckle. “But I have no doubt that she would give it serious consideration if you weren’t, you know...taken already.”

“Humph!” she grunted with a pout, laying her body up against his so her head was resting on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and relaxed, keeping his arms around her slender body. ‘Man I missed this,’ he thought contentedly. ‘Being this close—holding her in my arms.’

“I almost wish Buffy and Dawnie weren’t sisters,” Willow muttered after a moment.

“Huh? Why” he asked with a slight frown.

“Cause then we could have you and Dawnie over for a nice Scooby-orgy,” she said with a sigh of longing.

“You’re killing me, Will!” he complained—his cock stiffening uncomfortably in the confines of his jeans.

She just giggled at him.

‘Looong gone is my shy, self-conscious little Willow,’ he thought with a melancholy smile, hugging her tightly to him and nuzzling his cheek against her forehead.

“I missed you Xander,” she said softly.

“Me too,” he answered back, knowing exactly what she meant. ‘This version’s pretty good too—she might be the most powerful person on the planet, but to me she’ll always be my Willow.’

========== BtVS ==========

“Arrogant Ponce!” Giles growled once the outer door had closed behind Quentin and his assistant. He slipped his glasses back on and turned to Tara, muttering, “I nearly feel the need to air out the shop!”

Tara looked distracted, and had an uncustomary frown on her face.

“I say, what’s wrong Tara? Did Quentin’s lackey do something, or-or say something?” he asked, concerned.

“I...I’m not sure,” Tara answered softly, sounding puzzled. “It was strange.”

“How so?” he asked, frowning himself. “What happened?”

“Well, after you and Mr. Travers went into your office, he began to walk around, looking at the shelves, so I asked if I could help him with anything,” Tara began slowly recounting. “He looked in my direction, but his eyes kept avoiding looking directly at mine...he said, ‘So, you’re Anya’s replacement then?’ but before I could even answer, he started...I’m not sure—it was almost a rant, but he never raised his voice.”

“He was ranting?” Giles prompted, taken aback at the thought.

“Well, he complained...he said, ‘Mr. Giles certainly has let things go slack hereabouts. When Anya ran the shop things were kept ship-shape,’ then he started going on about how the herbal components weren’t ‘properly indexed.’ He almost seemed to be talking to himself more than to me,” she explained, shaking her head.

“How very odd indeed,” Giles muttered. “Jeremy was one of the watchers that came along with Quentin for Buffy's ‘review’ back when we were first looking into the Glory situation. However...I was not aware that he’d even noticed Anya —let alone taken interest in any way.”

‘I wonder if we may not have been paying attention to the wrong watcher,’ he thought, mulling over the situation.

========== BtVS ==========

‘Damn, I hope Dawn gets back soon,’ Xander thought. ‘Will’s driving me nuts!’

Following their conversation from earlier, Willow remained perched in Xander’s lap, laying up against his chest and using his shoulder as a pillow.

“So, are you flying back to SunnyD, or are you gonna do the teleport thing again?” Xander asked.

“Trying to get rid of me already?” Willow asked; her tone teasingly light.

“No, just wondering,” he answered. “I just figured you’d want to leave before Dawn and I start ‘reconnecting’ again. You know, since you don’t want to join in the fun yourself.”

“Well...I could watch,” she said after a moment’s thought.

‘Mmm, smells good,’ he thought as he inhaled the scent of her hair. “Dunno, Will. It hardly seems fair for you to watch us, when we can’t watch you,” he teased. “Besides, could you really to see Dawn naked and not touch? I know I couldn’t!”

“Good point,” she said breathily.

Suddenly Xander burst into laughter.

“What?” Willow said, pulling back to look up into his eyes.

“I was just thinking; could you imagine us having a conversation like this back in high school?” he asked, still grinning madly.

“Oh my gosh! No way!” she said, blushing a little bit for the first time in the conversation. “Goddess, I think I would have spontaneously combusted if you talked to me about sex at all—let alone like we are now.”

“Not even two years ago, but it seems like a different lifetime,” he mused.

“Even after vamp-me, I could barely think about maybe being gay—let alone bisexual, or in a multi-partner relationship,” she reflected. “Now it seems so normal...I couldn’t imagine not being with both Tara and Buffy.”

A wide grin stole across his face. “Not to mention being tied up and spanked now and then,” he snarked.

“Now and then?” she shot right back, clearly unashamed. “Try almost always! Mistress doesn’t let a day go by without putting me in cuffs and cropping my ass till the color matches my hair!”

‘Damn, just when it was starting to relax!’ he thought, once again shifting uncomfortably.

A loud knock at the door interrupted their conversation, much to his relief. “Gotta get up, Will,” he said with mixed feelings.

“Mmm, donwanna,” she pouted, bringing a smile to his face.

Another knock sounded out, along with a muffled feminine, “Hello? Is anybody in?”

“Grrr, alright!” Willow half growled, half whined. “I’ll get it.”

The moment she was off of him, Xander hurriedly adjusted his partial erection—sighing with relief.

She grinned knowingly at him even as she asked, “You expecting anyone?”

“No,” he answered, suddenly frowning. “No, I’m not. That means it’s probably the cops...or another hit man!” he ended in a loud whisper, standing up and gesturing for her to stop. “Don’t open it!”

She frowned as he grew agitated. “Well, I’ll just put up a shield,” she said, brightening again. “That way if it’s a bad guy he won’t be able to do anything—and we can, you know, give him a good thumping!”

“You can do a bullet-proof shield?” he asked, feeling a little surprised.

“Pfft” she waved her hand dismissively. “No problem.”

‘I don’t know why I’m surprised,’ he thought, falling back down into the couch. ‘What part of “Most Powerful Witch on the Planet’ am I not understanding?’

She waved her hand and he saw the air ripple momentarily, and then return to normal like there was nothing there. ‘Damn, I do seem to surround myself with powerful women,’ he thought, feeling a mixed emotional cocktail of pride, happiness, love, and a fair amount of desire.

Willow opened the door, saying “Hello?” in a bright tone.

“Oh my,” the person at the door gasped, taking a step back.

Xander frowned. ‘Where have I seen her...it’s that witch!’ he thought with realization. “Sarah!” he nearly growled as he stood up and walked to join a now confused looking Willow at the door. “What the hell do you want?”

“You know her?” Willow asked.

“Oh yeah,” Xander said disapprovingly. “This is the one Giles sent us to meet—to give her that amulet thingy?” he prompted his friend’s memory.

“Sarah, the leader of the Devon coven?” Willow asked.

“That’s the one,” he confirmed, still glaring at the witch in question.

“You don’t seem very happy to see her,” Willow commented, a questioning look on her face.

“Entirely my fault, I fear,” Sarah interjected, sounding somewhat chagrinned. “I actually came to apologize, if I may. Is Dawn here?”

“I’m thinking there’s a story here?” Willow asked Xander.

“Yeah,” he answered Willow before turning back to Sarah. “Well, Dawn’s not here, but she should be back pretty soon. I guess you could come in and wait,” he said begrudgingly.

Both he and Willow stepped back from the door, but Sarah did not automatically follow. After a moment of awkward silence, the dark-haired witch gestured to the doorway. “Well, if you would?” she said questioningly toward Willow.

“Oh, right. Oops,” Willow answered embarrassedly before waving her hand and again causing a visible ripple in the air.

“Amazing!” Sarah sighed before stepping into the hotel suite. “You must certainly be either Willow or Tara,” she said to Willow with a tone of awe in her voice.

“How’d you know her name?” Xander asked suspiciously, still feeling a bit of enmity toward the woman who had so upset his lover.

“Ah, well,” she began with a slight blush coloring her features. “May I?” she asked, gesturing toward a chair in the living-room area.

Xander nodded and took a seat back on the couch, Willow dropping down beside him so that their bodies were in contact from knee to shoulder.

Sarah’s eyebrow rose as she took in the sight of Willow's proximity to him, causing him further annoyance, but he refrained from comment beyond prompting, “You were saying?”

“Yes, well, after our last meeting I called Rupert to, ah...well to chastise him for daring to send a sorceress into our midst,” she said with a look of shame on her face.

“Dawnie’s not a sorceress!” Willow immediately protested, noticeably stiffening against Xander.

“Indeed,” Sarah allowed, “a fact that Rupert communicated to me quite soundly.”

Xander put his arm around Willow and was gratified to feel her relax. “What’s the difference?” he asked, curious at the negativity apparently associated with sorcery.

“Sorcery is demonic magic,” Willow explained. “Dark, nasty stuff...not something to be toyed with—and Dawn would never mess around with sorcery!” she threw as an angry aside toward Sarah.

“Again, I must apologize for my mistake—and I shall certainly offer my apologies to Dawn as soon as she returns,” Sara said, appearing sincere. “Among other things—and after taking me to task—Rupert mentioned the names of Dawn’s mentors. After seeing that rather impressive shield, I can only presume that you must be one of them,” she went on to address Xander's original question.

“Well, yes, I’m Willow. Dawn is Tara’s and my apprentice,” Willow replied. “But why would you think that she was a sorceress in the first place? We’re witches, not sorceresses!” she went on, still sounding upset.

“Ah, well—I don’t mean to sound rude...again,” Sarah said hesitantly.

“But?” Xander prompted.

“The reason for my mistaken assumption with Dawn was the fact that the magic she demonstrated—while not sorcery, as I had immediately assumed—also was not witchcraft,” Sarah explained.

“What do you mean?” Willow asked, sounding slightly offended.

“If I may ask, what spell did you cast to create the shield across the doorway just now?” Sara asked in a deliberately polite voice.

“It...well...I didn’t use a spell,” Willow said, sounding defensive.

“How then did you create it?” Sarah went on.

“I just created a static charge to interlace the nitrogen molecules in the air so they’d repel anything larger than the diameter of an oxygen molecule,” Willow said in a tone of voice as though explaining the dynamics of making toast.

Where Xander smiled with both humor and pride at his friend’s abilities, Sarah looked almost frightened. “Goddess!” she gasped. “How...ah, how exactly did you do that?” she inquired in whisper.

“Magic, of course,” Willow said with a shrug.

“But not witchcraft,” Sarah interjected. “There was no ritual, no spell, no calling on the elements, or on any goddess or spirit—nothing that could possibly be considered witchcraft.”

“Well, it’s not sorcery!” Willow protested, once more stiffening against Xander in apparent outrage.

“No, no it isn’t,” Sarah agreed. “And, had I taken the time to examine Dawn’s aura as I did yours, I would have realized that immediately.”

Willow's body relaxed as her mood again shifted. “You can see auras?” she asked, sounding enthused. “That’s so cool! Tara can see auras too—I have to do the Ritual Conspicere before I can see them, and then it’s temporary,” she explained to Xander.

“Ah...cool,” he said, bemused.

“The Ritual Conspicere...so you do practice the craft as well?” Sara asked, looking surprised.

“Well, sure!” Willow answered. “We’re witches, after all. We just discovered some new ways to cast. I mean, ok it’s kinda advanced I suppose—I like to think of it as a combination of witchcraft and quantum mechanics.”

‘Only my Willow,’ Xander thought while smiling broadly at her enthusiasm.

“Willow, I’m not sure ‘advanced’ is the right description for what it is that you do.” Sarah said softly. “I’ve been practicing witchcraft for seventy-three years, and I’ve never seen the like.”

‘Holy crap!’ Xander thought, his eyes widening as he took in the attractive young witch before him. ‘Well, I thought she was young...Jeeze, she could be my grandma! Or, my great grandma!’ he realized.

“Wow!” Willow muttered aloud. “You’ve sure aged well!”

Sarah sat silently for several moments, apparently lost in thought. When she spoke, her voice was filled with fear and wonder, “To see a thing, to know it, to understand its most elemental form, and then affect it to your own end.”

“That’s not a bad description...maybe a little overly poetic,” Willow mused aloud.

“I was quoting,” Sarah explained. “It’s from a translation of the writings of Qore Shorkaror.”

“That sounds familiar,” Willow mused aloud.

“Wasn’t that one of the brothers in the Jackson Five?” Xander quipped.

“Qore Shorkaror was the last known wizard on this plane of existence,” Sarah said seriously.

“That’s right, that’s where I’ve heard that name!” Willow exclaimed. “But, that means...oh...no, no, no I’m no wizard, I mean, I’ve been called a wiz before, but that was a wiz at, you know, like computers, or...or research. Not a wiz at wizardry, I mean that’s a lost art, not been around for thousands of years. How could I be a wizard? I mean I’ve never even been to Hogwarts or anything—'cause of course there is no Hogwarts, 'cause there’s no wizards to teach or students to learn, and hey! I don’t even have a wand! You can’t be a wizard without a wand, can you?”

“Willow!” Xander exclaimed, giving the babbling redhead a bit of a shake. “Relax...breathe.”

She nodded and took a couple of deep breaths.

“What’s wrong with being a wizard?” he asked, looking back and forth between Willow and Sarah. “They evil like sorcerers?”

“No, not evil per se,” Sarah answered.

“They could be either, just like anyone else...but Shorkaror was definitely not of the good, from what I’ve read.” Willow added.

“It’s been said that Qore Shorkaror was the last wizard on this plane only because he took exception to the very existence of any others of his kind, systematically destroying each until only he remained,” Sarah added.

“Yes, and wizardry has been a lost art ever since,” Willow interjected. “And that’s why I couldn’t be a wizard, cause I’m not lost—and I didn’t find what was lost, I just made, like a breakthrough in witchcraft—all new and shiny, not old and lost at all!”

“And yet, Shorkaror’s depiction of his own craft so well describes yours,” Sarah said, clearly disagreeing with Willow's protestation.

“Xander,” Willow's soft voice was filled with trepidation.

He looked down to meet her gaze. ‘Only Willow could have all this power and be worried about what it’s called.’

“I don’t want to be a Wizard,” she confessed her fear.

He hugged her tightly, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. “It’s just a word, Will,” he said quietly. “It doesn’t change who you are.”

She smiled tremulously back at him. “When did you get all wise?”

“I must be hanging around Giles too much,” he said with a grin.

“Bad influence, huh?” her smile became more confident.

Just then there was a soft click, and the door opened. Xander turned his head just enough to see the door without losing contact with Willow.

“Ok you two, I thought I said no fluking!” Dawn chastised in a mock-stern voice.

“There was no fluking, we were totally fluke-free!” Willow answered in a teasing voice.

Dawn laughed and continued her approach. She lifted up a pair of shopping bags, “Wait till you see what I...What the hell is *she* doing here?” her voice hardened when she noticed Sarah in the room.

The elder witch rose gracefully to her feet and turned to face Dawn directly. She bowed slightly and said, “Ms. Summers, I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was overly hasty in my conclusion regarding your magic; please forgive me.”

“Oh,” Dawn replied, her anger visibly deflating.

“She thought you were using sorcery,” Willow explained.

“Yeah, I gathered that from the way she was yelling at me,” Dawn said with a slight glare shot towards the Coven Leader. “What I don’t get is why.”

“Sorcery is demon magic,” Willow again interjected. “And since most of the stuff I’ve been teaching you isn’t normal witchcraft—like what Tara’s been showing you—she assumed.”

“Again, I apologize for my mistake,” Sarah added. “As it wasn’t witchcraft you were using, I foolishly assumed it must be sorcery.”

Dawn again frowned, seeming lost in thought. She set her bags down at the far end of the couch and walked over to plop down on Xander’s lap—her legs laying across Willow's lap—apparently unconcerned about the presence of a fourth person in the room.

Xander glanced toward Sarah to see her smiling broadly. ‘Huh, I thought she’d be uncomfortable with this,’ he thought in surprise.

“I should take my leave of you,” Sarah said with a note of teasing in her voice. “Before I go, I would like to invite the three of you to join my sisters and I for dinner this evening—we should discuss the amulet you brought us, as well as several other topics of concern.”

“Actually, I’m flying home this evening,” Willow said, sounding as though she regretted it—slightly.

“We already have reservations at Prime,” Xander added only paying half-attention to the conversation. ‘You ok?’ he wondered, ducking his head slightly to seek his lover’s gaze.

“How unfortunate,” Sarah answered wryly. “Perhaps another time.”

“Next week,” Willow answered Sarah’s rhetorical question.

“What?” Sarah asked, sounding surprised.

“Buffy's free to travel after today; we could come back next week...or to England if you guys aren’t going to be here still.”

“I’m certain I could arrange to extend our stay another week,” Sarah said with a smile.

Willow flipped her hand toward the standing woman and a card flew across the room to stop, hovering in place before her.

“Showoff!” Xander muttered, hiding his grin.

“Call me this weekend and we’ll arrange things.” Willow said with a teeth-baring grin.

“I shall do that,” Sarah answered. She then turned and exited the room without another word.

As soon as the door closed behind the departing witch, Dawn asked, “So...if what you’re teaching me isn’t witchcraft, and it isn’t sorcery...what is it?”

Xander felt Willow's shoulders shrug under his arm. “Well,” he started when there was no explanation forthcoming from his best friend. “Sarah said she thought it was...uh...wizardry.”

“Huh,” Dawn said, raising her eyebrows. “That mean I have to get a wand?”

Willow broke into giggles.

========== BtVS ==========

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