Bittersweet
by Anne-Lise
[reviews]
"You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?" Buffy smiled.
"Its like a drug!" Willow agreed.
"Fine. Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps," Buffy conceded. "For awhile."
"Alright, I'll stop giving you a hard time," Willow replied. Then, under her breath, she added, "Runaway."
"Will!" Buffy was shocked.
"I'm sorry." Willow giggled. "Quitter."
Buffy's eyes widened. "Whiner!"
"Bailer," Willow countered.
"Harpy."
"Delinquent."
"Tramp!"
Willow gasped. "Bad seed!"
"Witch."
"Freak!" Willow retorted, and that's when Buffy began to cry. "Oh god, Buffy, what's wrong?"
*
"How did you find me here?" Buffy asked, as she shared an embrace with Angel. Behind her, the sun began to fade.
"If I was blind I would see you," Angel replied.
"Stay with me?" Buffy pleaded.
"Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave, not even if you kill me."
Buffy woke up, screaming.
*
Buffy and Willow sat facing each other over coffee at Willow's house. Willow's father was away at some convention or other, and her mother seemed to have something better to do. Buffy called her own mother and let her know she'd be late coming home. She just had to talk to Willow, she explained. Joyce accepted her daughter's explanation without complaint. After all, she didn't want to push her daughter away again.
"Sorry to wig out at the Pump," Buffy offered meekly.
"Its okay," Willow's face was etched with concern. "Are you ready to talk about what happened? I'm all-ears. Except, you know, not literally. Because that would be like... gross. And waxy."
"Will," Buffy smiled, despite her inner turmoil. "Its okay. I'll spill. I need to... talk." She sipped her coffee and pulled a face. "Ew, no sugar."
Willow got up. "My bad, I forgot." She reached for the sugar and ladled a few spoons into each mug, stirring thoughtfully.
"So," Buffy began as Willow re-took her seat, "your spell worked. Angel was cured."
Willow blinked, "Huh?"
"I was facing Angelus, and something seemed to go through him. And then he was Angel again. Only it was too late." Buffy paused, lost in her memories. "He didn't remember anything about what he'd done. So I kissed him. I told him I loved him. And then I killed him." Buffy dissolved into tears.
"Oh Buffy," Willow wept too. "I'm... sorry."
"My mom threw me out, Snyder expelled me, Angel..." Buffy broke off as the pain engulfed her once more. "I had to leave, Willow. I just couldn't stay here any more." Willow got out of her chair and came round to hold Buffy as she cried.
"So why'd you come back?" Willow asked.
*
"I'll call and check up on you," Buffy offered, her heart near to breaking.
"I'm not... great at taking care of myself." Lily seemed so lost, so helpless.
"Gets easier," Buffy admitted. "Takes practice."
Lily nodded, and her fingers touched the nametag on Buffy's waitress clothing. "Hey, can I be Anne?" she asked.
Buffy shook her head. "You don't want to be Anne." She came over and put her arms around Lily. "Just be you," she said. "That's all you ever needed to be. Let the world see the real you."
Lily nodded, and they shared another kiss that wrenched at Buffy's heart.
"I have to go," Buffy whispered. She chewed her lip. "Thank you."
"For what?" Lily's brow furrowed, confused. "I owe you everything."
"For letting me see who I really am," Buffy replied.
*
"So why'd you come back?" Willow repeated.
Buffy looked up, tears streaking her face. "Because I needed to see you again," she confessed. "Because I love you."
Willow pulled away from Buffy, her mouth open. "What?" she managed.
"Because I love you, Willow. I always have."
*
"Er, Hi." So nervous. "Willow, right?"
"Why?" Willow frowned. "I mean Hi! Did you want me to move?"
Buffy rallied. "Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, er, then lets say we're directly into the me asking you for a favour. It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with me for awhile." Please, Buffy prayed, say yes!
*
"You love me?" Willow tried to take in the enormity of the concept. Buffy said nothing. "This is..." Willow struggled to find a word to express her feelings. "Sudden."
Buffy agreed. "This is the bit where I cut and bail, right?"
"No!" Willow cried out. "I mean, no. Please, don't."
"I'm sorry Will, but I had to tell you how I felt." She wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. "Even if it means losing my best friend."
Willow drew a breath. "Buffy..."