Of Stakes And Spells
by VixenRaign
Pangs Of Loss
[reviews]
Takes place about a week after the last chapter. Riley is still after Buffy but she and Willow have a silent understanding that they need to heal emotionally before the two girls get together. Takes place after the awkward silence at the end of 'Pangs' (I felt that I didn't have to rewrite the Ep. with Buffy/Willow undertones because they were kinda already there).
[Author's Note: I updated my other FanFic, and felt guilty. Please note: This may not have the same voice as my other chapters as I wrote it during my Biology class instead of during Calculus . . . Hope you like it!]
= = = (*Pangs Of Loss*) = = =
Willow and Buffy walked slowly down the path towards the dorm. The mention of Angel's visit had put the Slayer into a recoiled state. She'd not said a word since the Vampire had been brought up at the dinner table.
"That was a really amazing dinner Buffy," Willow said, trying to get the Slayer out of her armor, "Where did you learn to cook like that?" The witch looked to Buffy for a response, but all she got was a shrug. {She won't even look at me . . .} She thought, {I was a fool to think Buffy would ever like me}. Willow too fell into silence, thinking of what might have happened if Angel hadn't forced her favorite Slayer into an emotional regression.
{Maybe we'd go back to the dorm and she'd kiss me again! Oh! Or we might have gotten back to the room, and she'd tell me that she was ready to start dating again, and then she'd kiss me-} Willow's thoughts continued on like this until they walked through the door to their room. Willow put her stuff down and walked over to her dresser. She watched Buffy walked to the foot of her bed and stand there for a few minutes. Willow changed into her night-clothes, all the while keeping a close eye on the blond. The most movement she saw for the Slayer was when she toed her shoes off.
Willow picked up her bathroom stuff and walked to the door. She opened it, and started to walked threw, but stopped. She turned to Buffy and said, "I'm going to go brush my teeth, okay?" no response, the Slayer didn't even blink. "I'll be right back, are you going to be okay in here by yourself?" Still nothing, not even a nod. Willow hurriedly walked down to the communal bathroom. As fast as she could she washed her face and brushed her teeth.
When Willow first walked into the room she had thought Buffy had left. After a few seconds of panic, she noticed the Slayer's bed. The sheets had been messily pulled up at the foot of the bed, and in the center of the mattress was a small lump. Willow sighed sadly. {Oh Buffy,} Willow thought to herself, {What did Angel ever do to deserve you? And how could he treat you like this . . . ?} The Witch put her stuff down on the small desk, and walked to the foot of the bed.
"Buffy?" she asked the lump quietly. It flinched, and seemed to shrink. Willow wanted to cry over how sad and helpless the Slayer looked. Here was this amazingly powerful woman that she loved and admired, and she was reduced to a catatonic state by an old boy-friend. On a sudden burst of confidence, Willow grabbed the untucked blankets, and crawled under them as well.
After burrowing through the sheets a bit, Willow made it to the center. Maneuvering behind the blond, the Witch spooned her self around her best friend. Slowly and gently she wrapped her arms around Buffy's middle, waiting to be told to 'Go Away'. But still, nothing came.
"Buffy?" Willow whispered in to the girl's ear. Then it happened. Buffy started shaking with silent tears. Willow held her tighter, and as Buffy tried to take another staggering breath a strangled sob was released. It was simply the first leak to spring in the Slayer's Emotional Damn.
"Why?" she sobbed quietly, "Why is he doing this to me? I was happy again, I really was!" Willow just held her friend as she wept. She knew that Buffy had to vent to get over it, and she knew that all she could be was be there for her. "He didn't even say 'Hello' to me! Would that have been to much to ask? No, Angel has to snoop around and talk to my friends, and ignore me completely . . ." Whispered more to herself then to anyone else.
"He was worried Buffy, that's why he stopped by." Willow whispered, giving the girl a squeeze. Buffy just kept weeping quietly, trying not to concentrate on the passionate heat that Willow's hug was instilling in her. She shook herself mentally {Don't think like that! You love Angel, and he came to see you . . .} Buffy thought, but once again, the other voice in her head replied. {But you love Willow too, don't you?}
{Yeah, So? Willow's still pining over Oz, and I miss Angel. I can't think about that right now!}
{Why not? It'll make you feel better.}
{NO!} Buffy screamed in her head, the tears flowing harder at her internal frustration, {I don't want it to be like that! I want to know that I Love Willow for Willow, not because I simply can't have Angel . . . that would be wrong.}
{But you loved her before? What's so wrong about enjoying it now?}
{Because.} Buffy stated to herself flatly, {If I do something now I'll regret it for the rest of my life. She or I will spend the rest of our time together wondering if I did it because I REALLY loved her, or simply because she was 'convenient' . . . Willow deserves better then that. When I'm with Willow I want to know that it's because I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.}
{That's what I wanted to hear.} The voice faded, leaving Buffy to her confused thoughts.
"Buffy?" Willow asked quietly, "Please, talk to me?" Willow waited, but only silence fallowed. Willow started to relax, deciding to stay with the Slayer until she fell asleep, when she heard it.
"Thanks." Came the blonde's raspy whisper.
"Hey, not thanks needed. I'll take any excuse to Hug you, you know that." Willow gave her another squeeze and Buffy laughed, the emotion still evident in her voice. "Plus, I owe you a cheer-up. Though the last one was kinda mutual, I think you helped me A LOT more then I helped you . . ." she said, " . . . (or so it seems) . . ." she added in a whisper. There was a long minute of silence, fallowed by Buffy wrapping her arms around Willow's.
"I haven't lied to you in a long time, you know." She whispered to the Copper-top, who was more then just a little confused now.
"I know." Willow replied, hoping the Slayer would elaborate.
"Not for a long, LONG time . . ." Buffy said pointedly, as though this was a hint to some puzzle that the Witch didn't understand.
"What do you mean?"
" . . . Nothing . . ." Buffy whispered, suddenly very tired.
"No, Buffy, what are you talking about?" Willow whispered, wanting to know what on earth the Blond was trying to tell her.
"I'll explain later . . ." came the Slayer's last whisper as she fell into a deep Tear-induced sleep. Willow sighed. She was about to get up and go to her own bed when she realized something. Being wrapped up in the Slayer was a lot more comfortable then just sleeping alone. {It's even better then sleeping with Oz} she thought.
Willow was recovering nicely, she was no longer upset every time she thought of the dirty, cheating, Dog-Of-A-Man also know as Daniel Osborne. And now, more then ever, she was set on making Buffy happy, and her own. {Jeez! Possessive Much Rosenberg?} The Red-Head cuddled up behind her best friend, and slowly and leisurely fell into sleep, enjoying the fuzzy bunny feeling she get every time she was close to the Slayer.