Of Stakes And Spells
by VixenRaign
In Need Of Explanations
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= = = (*In Need Of Explanations*) = = =
Willow awoke slowly the next morning, thinking about the odd dream she'd had. It had something to do with talking bunches of broccoli, and a Labrador on Ice-Skates. {I think I had too much Turkey before bed!}. Willow was just about to cozy-up and go back to sleep when she realized The Slayer had gone. She shot up, only to find that she was slightly trapped. Both she and Buffy had crawled under tucked sheets, and she was having a good deal of trouble getting herself out. {How did Buffy crawl out of this without me noticing?} She wondered.
Once she had finally freed herself form the confines of the bed, she looked around the room. No sign of Buffy anywhere. She looked at the desks for a note, but there was none. She had just gone to the phone to call Giles when the door opened. Buffy walked through, looking at the carpet. She rested against the back of the door, and Willow walked over to her. The Slayer raised an arm, silently asking the Witch not to come any closer. Willow didn't.
"Buffy! Where were you?" Buffy looked down at her shuffling feet for a few moments, not answering. Willow started walking forward, wanting to comfort the Slayer, but she raised her hand again. {Angel's visit must have effected her more than I'd thought . . .} Little did the Witch know that is was Willow that had Buffy so upset. She frowned, wanting to comfort her best-friend. "Buffy, please . . . tell me?"
"I . . . I . . ." Buffy started, but faltered. She found it very hard to look at the redhead. "I went to take a shower." She lied. She noticed Willow look at her toiletries sitting across the room (untouched), and glance at her hair (which was completely dry). She heard Willow heave a small sigh.
"I know you're lying to me," she said, "I don't know what makes you think you have to . . . or why you're acting so skittish, but I just wanted to make sure you're okay." She paused and made another attempt to came closer. Buffy stopped her again. "ARE you okay?" Willow asked feebly.
"I'm Fine." Buffy answered, a little too quickly for Willow's liking. Buffy turned the knob and started walking through it. She turned to face her friend, finally looking her in the eye. "Get dressed, I told Giles we'd all meet at his house for a post Indian-Raid Clean up." She looked at the floor again, then looked up, "Plus I left some of my mom's dishes. I'll see you there."
Then she walked down the hall, leaving a scared Willow in her tracks. Buffy had never really acted like that around her before. Certainly not recently. Willow changed as quickly as possible, and jogged over to Giles' apartment. She stood on the stoop for a few seconds, not sure what she should do. She needed to talk to Buffy, but she didn't want to have to do it in front of all the other Scoobies. She nervously ran her fingers through her short Copper locks.
"Hey! Will, What's up?" Willow jumped. Xander had appeared out of nowhere behind her. He had Anya with him, and they seemed to be waiting for her answer.
"Uh, I was j-just-"
"She looks nervous." Anya stated in her blunt way. "All fidgety and stuttering." Xander gave her arm a small squeeze, and whispered something in her ear. "But it's true!" Xander smiled at Willow and walked past her to the door. He rang the bell and the three of them waited to be let in. Giles opened the door and welcomed them inside.
Willow walked in slowly, looking around at all the damage that had been done. The small side table had been turned right way up, many of the small windows had been broken, and there were arrows everywhere. Willow looked around for something to do. Then she heard a clatter coming from the direction of the Kitchen. Looking through the breakfast-nook, the witch spotted Buffy, washing dishes in the sink. Gathering her courage, she walked over to help the blond.
"It's okay Willow, I got. Go help Giles with the arrow-removals." Willow pouted, but Buffy didn't see. She was too focused on cleaning. She walked over to Giles for instructions. They worked for about half an hour, then Xander offered to go out and get them some coffee and doughnuts. They all agreed, and he took Anya with him. Once all the arrow holes had been patched, Giles offered for Willow to go help Buffy with the Kitchen clean-up.
"Giles sent me in here to help you. Seems this is all that's left . . ." Willow walked forward to the sink, but Buffy interrupted.
"Do you know how to clean an Oven?" She didn't even look up at the Witch, but knew that she'd nodded. "Then why don't you do that, I didn't really understand the instructions on the bottle." She just kept scrubbing. That's when Willow noticed something. Buffy was still scrubbing the same pot. She put her hand over the Slayer's, but Buffy shook it off. Willow grabbed her hand and forced it out of the sudsy water. She took the basting ban by the handle and lifted it. Once it'd freed the water surface, Willow's eyes bugged. Buffy had scrubbed right through the copper through to the lead center.
Buffy snatched it back, and started dying it. {Buffy's avoiding me . . . Why is Buffy avoiding me? Just last night she told me she hadn't lied to me in a 'long' while, and then first thing she does the next day is just that! What did I do?} Buffy suddenly turned to Willow, looking like she was going to yell at her. Willow recoiled, and backed against the closed over. Buffy's face softened. She turned back to her pots and pans.
"Buffy?" she whispered, reaching out to touch the Blond. Buffy slammed the pot down, and turned angrily towards the Witch. "Buffy what's wrong?" Willow asked terrified at the way her best-friend was acting.
"What's Wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!" She roared, unaware of the startled Giles watching from the living room. Willow was shocked, she'd not expected a reaction like this to Angel visiting. Buffy picked up the new pot again and returned to cleaning it. She glanced furiously at Willow every few seconds. He was huffing like a Bull getting ready to charge. Then it slowed. The heated cleaning wound down, her near growling silenced, and she closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she clamed. "Why?" she whispered.
"W-w-why What?" A scared Willow asked quietly.
"Why did you lie to me, Willow?" Buffy asked, turning a teary face towards her friend.
"He asked me not to tell you he was-"
"NOT ANGEL!" Buffy roared again, "ME! Why did you not tell ME!" she asked desperately. Willow looked confused. "When I asked you what Happened when I was Cave-Slayer, why didn't you tell me everything?" Willow's eyes bugged as she realized what Buffy meant. "Is that why?" Buffy whispered, her voice horse from bother her yelling and her tears. "Is that why you would always blush when I talked about it? . . . . . Why didn't you tell me?"
"I-I-I . . . . I thought-" she stammered.
"What?" Buffy asked gently, her voice still horse, "Please, just tell me why you lied . . . why you kept this from me . . ." Willow now had silent tears rolling down her face, as she tried to think of words to explain what'd happened. "Was I just a moment of weakness? Another Xander?" She whispered, fear making her voice shake.
"No! No, Buffy, not at all like that! The whole thing with Xander was over you-" Buffy looked at her confused, "But I'll explain that later . . ." she finished quietly.
"Then why?" she whispered. Willow leaned dejectedly against the counter. Unable to find the words to explain it without scaring the Slayer away.
"Shame. Not because of you, but more because of me. Buffy, I've liked you . . . for a while now. And that was the first time I ever even thought you liked me back. You of all people must know what it's like to want something you know you can never have?" Willow looked at Buffy sadly. {Angel} Buffy thought.
"I was weak. You wanted to be with me, and I was so lonely. Oz had been spending so much time with Veruca, and I knew that I wasn't going to get him back." Willow accidentally let out a sob she'd been trying so hard to hold in. "He was the only person that even showed an interest in me . . . EVER, really. Xander just wanted me because I was there." Willow looked at the floor for a few seconds, then looked Buffy in the eye again.
"Buffy. What would you do if Angel showed up, telling you he loved you, and that he was human again?" More tears slipped down the redhead's cheeks, but she never broke eye contact. "I was just so happy that you actually wanted to be with me that I didn't even stop to think about why at first."
"At first, but you did remember eventually. Why didn't you tell me?" Buffy too was crying, though she had regained control of her voice.
"I knew that you'd never want me if it hadn't been for the cursed beer. I knew that THAT was the only explanation. You were only with ME because I was convenient . . . even with the beer. But Oz . . . he was the only person that really liked me for me (with out the influence of magic). And although I knew he was getting over me, I wanted to be with him as long as possible. I couldn't tell him . . . . and I couldn't tell you." She heaved a sigh and sank to the floor, her back against Giles' cabinets. Buffy gently sat down next to her, wanting to hear the end of the explanation.
"Buffy, the next morning, you told me you didn't remember anything . . . I was so torn. I wanted you to remember SO BADLY . . . but at the same time I didn't. I knew that you'd feel grossed out and disgusted. I thought you'd think I was sickening and perverse . . ." she looked at Buffy, tears still running down her face, "And I was right, wasn't I?" After a difficult internal struggle, Buffy wrapped the crying Willow into a hug. She held her tightly, hushing her comfortingly.
Willow held onto her for dear life. She'd never regretted anything as much as she did this. She wished she'd told Buffy the truth from the beginning, though she wasn't so sure that would have had much better results. She wished she had never kissed Buffy while she was cursed, and yet it had been one of the best experiences of her life.
"Willow, Shh. Shh. It's gonna be okay." Buffy whispered, trying to be gentile with the already fragile girl. "To tell you the truth, if Angel had showed up yesterday, human and saying he was in love with me . . . I would still have said no." Willow still clung to her, though her tears had lessoned. "You have meant so much to me for so long, I just didn't see the change. When you stopped being 'Best-Friend-Willow' and became . . . So much more." Buffy whispered. "There were always these little moments that would make me realize there was something in you. Something amazing. Even you must have noticed a few of them?"
"Well, there were a few maybes . . ." she whispered, slightly more comfortable, "But they were so fleeting I kinda played them off as wishful thinking." She still clung to Buffy, whom she noticed hadn't let go yet. Buffy gently stroked her soft red hair, trying to calm the Witch. Willow knew that she was in for it now. There was no way Buffy could go from screaming like that to comforting her. She was about to get some bad news, and she was sure of it.
"Willow, I need to ask you some thing?" Buffy said delicately. "Will you do me a favor?" Willow nodded, looking Buffy in the eye, trying to show her she'd do anything to make it right. Buffy smiled sadly at her. "Will you give me a few days? Juts to think things threw?" Willow went numb. {Buffy's kicking me out! She doesn't want me to be a Scooby anymore! Oh god, it's like I can't breath . . .} Buffy's eyes bugged as she noticed Willow turning from red to purple. "WILLOW?! What's wrong?!" The Witch realized she hadn't been breathing and opened her mouth, gasping for air.
"God, Willow, don't ever scare me like that again!" she grasped the girl and pulled her tightly to her, "You're not a commelion! Stay one color! No more turning purple!" she hugged tightly, worried that she'd hold her breath again.
"Buffy, you really want me to leave?" Willow asked feebly. Buffy pulled back and looked at her best friend, very confused.
"Why would I want you to leave?" she asked.
"Because you're kicking me out of the Slayerettes."
"No I'm not! Why would you think that?!" She looked offended at the very idea. Then Buffy realized, Willow didn't understand. "No, Willow, I just meant the whole You-And-Me thing. You know, how we keep having these things . . . where we, ya know. Have little romantic moments. I just meant that stuff. I might go and stay at my mom's tonight, but I was going over to have dinner and return the pots anyways, But . . ." She trailed off and ran her fingers threw the red tendrils hanging near the Witch's neck. "It's just for now. I still want to be with you, Will. I juts need some time to think, Okay?"
Willow nodded. She was happy to hear that Buffy still wanted to be with her, but worried over the fact that Buffy wasn't going to be in the dorm tonight. {Am I really that bad? Can she not stand to be in the same room as me?} Buffy got up, lifting the Witch, and placing her upright on her feet. She handed her the Oven cleaner, smiling and went back to her dishes. Just then Xander and Anya burst through the door.
"Who wants Jelly-Filled?!" Xander yelled excitedly.
"Me . . ." came the slow drawl from the Kitchen door way. A smirking Spike pushed himself off the door frame towards Xander. Buffy and Willow looked at each-other, realizing they hadn't noticed him standing there. {{HOW MUCH DID HE HEAR?!}}
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(Author's Note: hope you like it, I took me a fair chunk of time to write! Gotta love the Spike-Shaped Cliff-Hanger too! . . . . Lets see where this leads!)
(SPOILER: Next Chapter Will Take Place During "HUSH" [look-out! Here comes some Crazy Willow-Tara-Buffy chaos in the next few chapters!] ENJOY!)