Electric Blanket
by TPauSilver
[reviews]
Title: Electric Blanket
By T'Pau Silver (TPauSilver@aol.com, www.geocities.com/TPau_Silver)
Disclaimer: Not mine
Feedback: Loved and cherished at TPauSilver@aol.com
Archive: Ask first please...
Rating: PG
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Buffy/Willow
Spoilers: Same time same place
Words: about 1000
Summary: The last scene from Same time same place
Notes: Don't ask where the title came from, it is in no way related to the story!
It's a relief. To sit here on my own bed. The house full of people. It all feels so alive, so
wonderful. It's like I'm finally home, even thought I know there's a long way to go before
it's really home again.
It was horrible, when I thought they'd left me. I felt so...alone. I need to be surrounded
right now. I need to feel the thrum of life to remind me that it does still go on.
I thought it would be worse, sitting on the bed Tara and I shared. Knowing she's not
coming back. In a way, it's awful. But, in another, it's ok. I can deal. But only as there's
life all around me. As long as Dawn's doing homework in her room and Buffy's
wandering around. As long as I know that Xander is safe at home. Hey, I'm even glad that
Anya and Spike are doing well...well...I use the term well in a comparative way.
Compared to Tara, they're doing great.
She's stood there now, watching. Buffy is, I mean. I can feel her. Must be because I've
known her so long, I kinda have an instinct for these things. I open my eyes and look over
at her. I smile softly.
"Buffy..." I say, trying to sound happy and enthusiastic.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."
"That's all I had left in me anyway," I say sincerely. I know it shouldn't but Meditation is
really wearing my out today. It's because I'm working magic at the same time. I think it is
anyway...
"I didn't realise meditating was such hard work."
"I'm healing. Growing new skin." She walks into the room. She just looks so nervous. It's
as if just being around me upsets her. I hope this wont go on for long.
"Wow. That's magic, right? I mean, when most people when they meditate don't get extra
skin, right. 'Cause Clem should, like, cut back."
She laughs nervously and smiles, but she's worried. She thinks I should stop using
magick, I know. She thinks it can't help but she's wrong. It's a part of me and I have to
use it. I have to do something to help the pain. A spare her a smile for trying thought.
"It's magic. I'm drawing power from the earth to heal myself."
"We're on the second floor," she says, confused. I can't help but laugh. I would have said
the same thing before, but I know now. Maybe, one day, I can show her.
"You know Giles says everything's part of the earth. This bed. The air. Us."
"Explains why my fingernails get dirty even when I don't do anything." Trust her to make
a joke out of everything. I like that about her. She can make me smile, even at the worst
of times. How many people can say that? I missed her.
"Plus you stuck your thumbs in a demon."
"True."
I lean back, tired. It feels good for her to be here, watching over me. Feels kinda like I
have my own angel.
"You're wiped out. I-I should go."
"No. Please stay," I cry out instinctively. "I missed you so much when I couldn't find
you."
"We missed you too. I missed you," she whispers, tapering of. I bite my lip, holding back
a sob. She has no idea how much it means to me for her to say that. I'm not alone, I'm
loved.
"Dawn's, uh, working on what caused the mutual no-see-ums, but so far we haven't...."
"I did it." As nice of that switch of conversation was, I had to tell her. I did it. I managed
to do magic without even knowing about it. I should have stayed in England longer. I just
manage to cause problems here.
"You did a spell?" Ah, the worried voice again. Probably worried I'm going to skin her
alive as we speak.
"I didn't mean to. I-I just remember thinking I wasn't ready to see you guys yet. I was
afraid we wouldn't, you know, connect."
I look at her. It feels kinda like I'm naked. My worst fear. It's plagued me all summer.
Will they be able to accept me? Will they care about me or would I by rejected....
"So, you made it happen just by thinking it?" Ok, not exactly the answer I was looking
for. Time to cover the hurt...
"Guess I have a ways to go before I master my powers, huh?"
"It's OK. As long as you're all right." That's more like it. I feel validated now.
"It's nice to be forgiven. Too bad I need so much of it." She looks at me. There's
something in here eyes. This wasn't simply a chance conversation, she had a purpose.
"I have a confession to make. I thought it might be you. With the flaying."
"I know." It doesn't surprise me and I can't blame her. Hey, in her position, I would have
probably blamed me. A part of me says her suspicions should hurt but, somehow, they
don't.
"I wanna be the kind of person that wouldn't think that. Xander never thought it." Ah,
guilt. Time for a little comfort.
"He did, a little. Heck, I did a little. Xander has the luxury of not saying it, but you're the
slayer. You have to say stuff like that. It's OK. It's OK too if you still don't think I can
recover from this magic stuff, 'cause, honestly, I'm not that sure about it either."
I lean forward. I need to try and meditate again. It's hurting a lot right now. Inside and
out.
"I thought you were too tired."
"It hurts too much not to try."
"I'm sorry." I can see the apology in her eyes. I want to tell her I don't blame her, that it's
ok, but I can't.
"It just takes so much strength. I don't have that much."
"I got so much strength, I'm giving it away."
She's offering to share her energy with me? She really cares about me and wants to help
me that much?
"Are you sure?"
"Will it help?" She wanted to help!
"Much."
She sits in front of me and takes my hands. I smile softly and begin to use her energy. I
feel it like a blanket around me. Her energy, her strength. It's subtle but potent. Strong but
delicate. It's buffy. I feel it engulf me, hold me, heal me, love me.
Love me.
Love me.
I'm home. I feel home. It feels like the good old days when we uaed to just sit and talk.
Where I felt like I could go to Buffy with everything, no strings attached. I know it got
more complicated but, in this moment, it's exactly the same.
"Good," she whispers.