Petals
by lanie
Part Three
[reviews]
***
"So the deal is that we don't always have to be brave, right?" Willow cringed as Buffy stepped into the room, alone, closing the door behind her. "That was the deal right?"
"How long were you there?" Willow peeked reluctantly out from underneath the blankets, "Were you there the whole time?"
"Not that long," Buffy shrugged her shoulders and moved to the foot of the bed and sat down, "So I'm stubborn?"
"Buffy." Willow sighed and threw the covers over her head.
"Occasionally maybe." Buffy said tugging on Willow's foot through the blankets, "Hey Will, come on."
"No. I'm mortified. That's what I am. Mortified." Willow replied, the blankets muffling her voice.
"Zortified?" Buffy quipped deliberately with a crooked smile.
"No." Willow tossed the blankets away and sat up, "Mortified."
"Because you kissed Spike?" Buffy asked.
"No, wrongness definite wrongness. No, partly but no. Everything else." Willow cried drawing her knees to her chin, "Oh Buffy everything is just turning out so wrong. I'm afraid that when all of this is over that..." She stopped resting her forehead on her knees not exactly sure how to continue and not certain she wanted to anyway.
"What Will?" Buffy asked crawling up to the head of the bed until she sat next to Willow her hand reaching out tentatively to Willow's closing over it hesitantly at first.
"I,I," Willow continued slowly, stifling a cry, "Don't have a lot left Buffy and you're like my it and I don't want that to go away too."
"I'm not going anywhere." Buffy answered confidently pulling Willow's hand to her lap.
"I kissed your...your vampire." Willow responded slowly.
"He kissed you back-"
"And hello to the badness," Willow interrupted sitting up, "I'm like the world's worse best friend."
"The worst." Buffy agreed, a smile teasing her lips.
"And now you're making fun." Willow squeaked trying to tug her hand away from Buffy's grasp.
"Hey you said it first." Buffy joked holding firmly to Willow's hand before frowning, "Out there? That doesn't matter Will. You have to know how that doesn't matter to like the hundredth degree."
"It should." Willow stopped struggling with Buffy's hold but turned away from her nonetheless.
"You'd think, huh?" Buffy asked liked she was amazed that it suddenly didn't, "Listen Will, I don't know what Spike is to me, I don't. He's something. I know that much now, something a lot more than I'd thought before but I know what you are, okay?"
"That's just it," Willow looked at her. She felt like her heart was on open display but she bit down the shake that was beginning to traipse through her body, "I don't, I don't know what you are to me anymore."
"Will," Buffy started.
"No," Willow interrupted, "I know I couldn't stand losing you, not on top of everything else. It's been so long since Tara, I don't have Xander anymore, ever again, and you're what's left. You, you're all that's left and that's like the world to me and I don't want to lose you. But I don't know what you are to me anymore Buffy."
Willow looked down for a second at Buffy's brightening smile, she didn't want to be teased or blown off. She wanted resolution, no matter how it ended.
"Sometimes? It's okay to be brave." Buffy said quietly pulling Willow's hand to her lips, she kissed it lightly and looked back up, "Sometimes it's okay."
"Buffy?" Willow asked her eyes wide, her heart thudding against her chest. She felt a hundred years away from the scene, watching it as a spectator when Buffy said, "I know what you are to me."
Willow was surprised at what she did next, she pulled Buffy to her, much like she did with Spike and kissed her, despite the trembling in her body, the lightness in her head. Buffy didn't tug away.
Willow couldn't think about what would happen next. The weird haze she'd felt on the porch with Buffy and Spike returned and her hand snaked behind Buffy and pulled the blonde closer to her.
Her hand traveled up the Slayer's flannel covered thigh with ease, resting at the patch of skin peeking out above Buffy's waistband. The blonde gave out an audible start at the contact but didn't move away.
"Can this be what I am?" Willow whispered, pulling away eyes wide in fright.
"This can be part of what you are." Buffy answered back reaching for the buttons of Willow's pajama top, "Because you're a lot more."
***
Willow woke up, a sleepy smile on her face. The room was still dark but snippets of light sheathed their way through the tiny breaks in the curtains.
She looked over at Buffy, not quite sure whether any of it was a dream or not, as she took the Slayer's nude body in. She'd seen Buffy naked before of course, tends to happen when you're friends with someone for so long, there was gym class and sleepovers. Not too mention the various first aid projects through out the years that entailed being the Slayers best friend. She'd just never looked at her before, really looked at her anyway.
Last night wasn't so much about the looking as it was about the touching and the tasting. Willow quivered at the memory closing her eyes against the picture of Buffy's skin, smooth, flawless and sun kissed.
How Buffy felt underneath her fingers, precious and beloved and powerful. Stronger than even Willow could have imagined, a body that moved with unimaginable flexible grace, power with every touch.
Soft, sweet sweeping touches, Willow sighed opening her eyes, drinking Buffy in again. So small, so lithe, so powerful, from her painted pearl covered toenails, that had shimmied and scratched Willow's back, to the tangible strength of her slim thighs, that fitted so perfectly across her shoulders.
Willow tasted Buffy anew eyeing the sweet silky patch of hair that she'd tangled her fingers in so contentedly in last night. Oh and the slick moist taste of Buffy against her lips, with sweet soft kisses, the lingering taste in her mouth even now.
Willow moved closer to her slayer, the sweet swell of her belly, soft, she remembered her hands there for hours, Buffy's giggles. Willow hadn't heard Buffy smart like that in years.
"I'm ticklish." She'd cried out.
"Should I stop?" Willow had asked, her lips replacing fingers, her tongue dancing across tanned skin.
"God no Will, don't you dare." Buffy answered back, her words catching in her throat.
Yes, Willow sighed placing a soft kiss against the belly she loved, Buffy smiling in her sleep at the contact.
Willow's gaze moved up to Buffy's breasts, small but utterly perfect, like they were meant for her hands alone. Willow didn't have to look at Buffy now to see the girl arch into her touch, her nipples hardening against Willow's fingers.
The feel, the taste of Buffy was ingrained into her memory. She could be blinded now and always have this, Willow thought with a smile, but she wasn't, and she would use every spec of light to take the Slayer in now. Willow's hand moved towards the tangle of hair that was covering Buffy's face, and tugged it gently away, uncovering the smooth line of jaw, the graceful curve of her neck.
Smiling shyly Willow lay next to Buffy, catching her hair in her fingers, wrapping the golden tresses around her fingers, watching the rise and fall of Buffy's chest as she slept.
This was perfection, Willow thought, and it had been so long. She'd had it before with Tara, but this was uniquely different, just as wonderful and special, but still separate enough that Tara held onto her sacred spot.
A new one had been created for Buffy. Willow leaned in her lips moving to Buffy's uncovered neck and she stilled in horror. Her hand moving to her own throat, she'd missed this before, a part of Buffy she hadn't uncovered.
Two healing but fresh puncture wounds darted Buffy's skin, sending Willow's stomach sinking she backed away from the Slayer, holding a gasp still between her lips, a knowing panic fluttered through her body.
Willow woke from the hazy glow, from the sanctity of seeing Buffy as she had the night before. The euphoria was dimmed and Willow was suddenly aware of another presence in the room. She moved to cover Buffy, her hand reaching for another blanket, threading it across her own naked body before Spike spoke.
"She knows I'm here. Not playing peeking Tom. Came in after you two...the sun and all." Spike supplied from the corner softly before continuing, his hands fingering an old book, "Saw you eyeing those books the other night," Willow's gaze fluttered to the opened bookcase.
"Surprised you put your Nancy Drewin' on hold long as you did." Spike tossed the book gently towards the bed, it bounced landing at Willow's feet, "Here."
Willow felt sick, her hands reached absently for the ancient text. Her fingers flipped through its yellowing pages, with an unsteady tremble before she spoke quietly, "You bit her."
"I did." He told her from the darkened corner.
Frowning Willow stood, her hands clutching the blanket she moved towards Spike, giving Buffy a quick look as the Slayer turned to her side. The blankets and sheets Willow had covered her with tangling around her limbs.
Slowly she looked away focusing her stare upon the demon in the corner.
"You fed from her." Willow repeated her voice a hushed whisper, "You bit her. Buffy."
"Wasn't my place to tell you." Spike started slowly looking toward the floor away from Willow's hold.
"Not really an option now," Willow responded bitterness in her voice, "You fed from her. That's why you..." Willow stopped and looked Buffy "Angel. Angel almost killed her when-"
"I'm not Angel." Spike interrupted, subtle anger tainting his tone.
"No you're not." Willow shook her head and looked back up at him.
"I didn't want to," Spike whispered, "I didn't-"
"Because, let me guess, she made you, right? She was all with the neck baring?" Willow cried quietly, her free hand moving to her belly as her stomach churned against something new, something more than the bite.
"He was right," Willow shrugged, her brow wrinkling as the pain in her belly spread through out her body, tickling her fingertips cruelly.
"He?" Spike titled his head and moved away from the shadows closer to her.
"Xander." Willow breathed out roughly, dread mixing with the energy crackling through her body. "God." She whispered softly, looking away from him, down into the floorboards.
"Pet?" Spike questioned a hand reaching for her naked shoulder.
Angrily she swatted it away and looked back up at him, her eyes dark. "A parasite. He called you a parasite. And you are.
"Maybe so." He answered edging closer to her, magic, dancing like electricity, hissed across her skin.
"Willow." He tried again, his hand reaching out, touching bare flesh until he was flung back against the wall.
"Don't. Don't touch me." Willow sobbed, "Oh God."
"Buffy," Spike started.
"No!" Willow broke in, "No. It's, it's, oh God, it's everywhere."
Willow tensed, as part of her seemed to chip away, she felt it all, crawling in her skin. It would never end. It would never die. She couldn't stop it and for all the world she knew how Oz felt, finally knew. She had no say now, no control, she was angry and her anger needed an outlet.
God how quickly it took her, she thought mournfully, all her pain, everything piling to the surface, her power still useless for all it would do now, tipped to her pores and took her over.
It wasn't hers to control, she smarted and looked up at Spike, part of her wanting to shimmy away and leave him, the other part, the stronger part wonder how'd it feel to crush him into dust with out a fingertip so much as caressing his dead skin.
"It's everything. I'm everything." She told Spike, looking up at him through ebony eyes, "Everything and you fed from her and I owe you death."
"Willow. No." Buffy's voice came from behind her, like a whispered breath against her neck caressing her, "Willow. Please."
Buffy.
Willow's hands reached for her forehead, her grip on the blanket loosening, it slipped from her body and pooled at her feet. She felt herself slipping ands she fought against the power cackling around her as she shakily turned to the Slayer.
She was aware of the tears on her cheeks, they burned like fire, but her soul was still dark and all she could offer up to this girl that she loved was, "It's all I am."
"It is not all that you are." Buffy answered, her fists balling in constraint as she moved closer to Willow, her face hard, her body strong.
Willow shook her head, "You let him? He deserves pain Buffy."
"Who here doesn't?" Buffy moved closer, her jaw softening, "Don't I?"
"Maybe so." Willow smirked, "Didn't give it to you good enough the last time, huh? You want more Buff?."
"Will." Buffy whispered her hand reaching out to touch Willow's fevered skin, causing the Witch to skirt back.
"Don't touch me." Willow hissed, her arms circling around her body, "You shouldn't..." She faltered, her brow wrinkling in confusion, "I, I don't deserve you...this is all that I am."
"It is not who you are," Buffy began, her tone strong and resolute, " You're Willow. My Willow. You got that? That's who you are. And you are beautiful, you are good, Willow."
"No." Willow cried out, not fighting Buffy back as she wrapped her arms around her, instead tumbling into the Slayers sturdy frame, "I'm not Buffy," She looked up at the blonde, as she felt the misery of the energy subside back inside of her, a sharp sting, a steady ache, "I'm not."
"You're precious." Buffy responded quietly, falling to the ground with Willow's pull until the two were tangled limbs and hiccupping cries.
Willow looked towards the vampire she'd wanted to finish, with blurry eyesight, as Buffy's hands stroked her back, her mouth whispering sweet words into her ears. She was so grateful that he was standing there. Hands stuffed into his pockets watching both of them keeping his pace far and distanced from the two girls. Willow smiled at him sadly before pressing her face into Buffy's neck, the shame that would be forever hers lessening with ever sweet touch Buffy bestowed upon her.
***
"I didn't want to tell her, it wasn't my place. She doesn't know everything." Spike's voice slithered through Willow's head waking her from the exhaustion that still clung to her body. Her whole entire being ached with the pain of her magic, and Spike's voice riddled her with thoughts of what she almost did bringing the anguish back to the surface.
She gripped Buffy's sheet covered hip tightly, but kept her eyes closed the tension in her body anew and strong.
As if Buffy noticed this, her hands tangled into Willow's hair, trying to smooth away the pain before she spoke to Spike, " What happened after me and you in the hallway? Not the most opportune time in retrospect, but there was nothing bad about it."
"I wanted you." She told him quietly.
"You shouldn't." He sighed, "I'm a monster."
"God," Buffy laughed, her belly vibrating against Willow's head, "What is it with me and the people I love anyway?"
"It was a mistake." Spike answered darkly, his weight shifting the bed.
"I don't love monsters." Buffy answered him simply, her mouth pressing against Willow's hair in a soft kiss, stirring the Witch's eyes open.
It was a mistake, that night at the motel. You never should have...and you shouldn't have let me, not after..." Spike whispered, rising from the bed and moving towards the kitchen.
"Again probably not the best time but I don't regret it." Buffy muttered, "And last night, was that a mistake Spike?"
Buffy scooted down the bed, gently tugging Willow up her body, until Willow rested against her side, her face almost pillowing Buffy's breasts. Buffy smiled at Willow, a cross between something sweet and loving and something like hurried want. The same kind of want that pooled low in Willow's belly.
***
Willow stood in the shower. The water was hot as it washed over her body. She was weary and she was tired, she ached from the things she could've done when she lost control, the things she was capable of.
Behind the heavy dread lay a tiny flutter that Willow couldn't describe. Her body burned and not just from the water or the residue of magic.
She closed her eyes. Her hand drifting lower down her body, past her dark curls, into her slick wetness, she bit her lip and let out a small cry. The memory of the morning rushed through her, her fingers, first one and then two, moved inside her sending shivering sparks up across her skin.
Spike had moved back to the bed, silent and sullen, and settled his cup of coffee on the bedside table and didn't answer Buffy's question. It was obvious by the firm line of his mouth and the glaring sadness in his eyes that he hadn't thought it was a mistake, for all he regretted it. He frowned when Buffy reached for him, pulling him by the cough of his shirt closer towards her until he snuggled against the side of her opposite from Willow.
Willow didn't begrudge him this closeness to Buffy, after knowing it first hand, but she looked away nevertheless, her fingers absently circling a pattern across Buffy's belly, the one that she loved.
"Will," Buffy had hissed, reaching for the Witch's chin and tilting it up until they both looked at each other.
Buffy's eyes were wide, wanton even if Willow could make a stretch to use that word outside of a comical context.
But Buffy hadn't said anything else just lowered her mouth to Willow's, kissing her, in front of Spike, who looked on, with a sadness that Willow was getting used to seeing in his eyes.
Buffy pulled away, moving her mouth to Willow's throat, then to the dip of her collarbone, until her tongue found Willow's nipples, bringing them to hardened peeks.
"Buffy." Willow had moaned, her eyes darting towards Spike, surprised by the glow in his blue orbs until she saw Buffy's hand against his thigh.
"Buffy!" Willow cried pulling away from the sweet attentions of the Slayer, "What are we-" She started shaking her head at a loss for words, flushed and hot.
Suddenly both Willow and Spike knew what Buffy was asking.
Their eyes clamped down on each other, green against blue and it was no longer Buffy's place to offer them up to each other. They took each other in, confusion, fear even a small want passed between them, until Willow nodded her head, giving Spike the permission he hadn't sought until Buffy nudged them both towards it.
"Oh." Willow cried out, her fingers pumping against her heated flesh, water cascading down her body.
She played the events out again in her mind, her body reacting to her own ministrations and to the memory of first Buffy's and then Spike's.
What had been gentle her first time with Buffy turned primal and dangerous the second time when the bed was shared with Spike.
But Spike, Willow's hand reached out against the tiled bathroom walls, he'd been the opposite, smoothing and soft, like Buffy had been the night before.
Willow bit back her confusion and focused on remembering the sensations of Buffy and Spike against her body. Her arousal took over, wiping worry and shame from her mind. She rose to her tiptoes, her fingers thrusting madly, her thumb worrying against her clit until she stifled a scream, her body shaking in pleasure.
Slowly she slid to the floor of the shower, her breath in uneven gasps as she buried her face in her hands trying to reconcile everything that happened as her pleasure ebbed.
***
Willow peeked out around the bathroom door. The room was empty and dark. It smelt like sex and cigarette smoke. Her stomach recoiled but she pressed on. Wrapping her wet hair in a towel she moved to the bed and sat down reaching for a pair of discarded socks. The room was cold; she looked up and noticed the front door was open a bit. Bringing her hands to her eyes she pushed at her forehead, mimicking Giles. She braced herself and looked to the door again. She'd have to face them eventually, no matter how enticing the bathroom seemed right about now, she couldn't very well hide in there for however long they'd be stuck out here.
Also she didn't particularly want to.
She pulled on her socks and straightened her shoulders. Standing up, her big toe thumped across the worn binder of the book Spike had tossed at her that morning, hours, years ago.
Curiously she picked it up and gave the jarred door a quick look. She sat back down and opened it to the page Spike had obviously wanted her to see, since the place had been saved with Spike's useless book of matches.
***
Willow nudged the door open with her foot and leaned against its frame, somehow not surprised to find only Spike there.
He didn't turn to look at her, just tossed his half smoked cigarette into the snow and waited.
"You knew what attacked us from the start, didn't you?" Willow asked her hand thumping against the book.
He shrugged.
"You knew that whole week and you didn't tell us?" Willow questioned tugging the book underneath her arm and stepping onto the porch, her embarrassment and discomfort having dissipated after picking up the book.
"Didn't see the bother, I wasn't gonna' let Buffy-"
Willow interrupted confused, "How did Buffy know?"
"I mean Buffy wouldn't have known that the demon that attacked us was the same sort the Mayor had used against Angel." She paused, "That the toxins it produced wasn't concocted by magic but extracted from a demon."
"She couldn't have know, I didn't know and I'm the one who did the research those years ago. How did she find out?" Willow pressed.
Spike sighed and stretched back on the porch, shirtless underneath his jacket, his skin paled brightly in the darkness. "Didn't tell her Tulip, told you that already. Wasn't gonna' let Buffy, wasn't gonna' use her like that."
"How'd she find out then, I mean it's not like Buffy to go looking for answers in books, besides we didn't have any books-"
"Rupert told her." Spike interrupted crossing his arms over his face.
"Giles?" Willow asked, her nose scrunching up in confusion, "Why would he-"
"Holy Christ Will," He cut in pulling himself up to his feet, wrapping an arm around one of the porch posts, "For someone so bleedin' smart, you're as daft as they come when you want to be. Rupe's realistic, as much as it pains all of us time to time," He drifted quietly before looking back at her, "Point is, he knows the baddies aren't for letting the Slayer alone, Hellmouth or not. He hates me, sooner see me dust than with Buffy but he loves the Slayer, knows she needs help."
Willow looked at him and tossed the book to the ground, still smarting from his insult, "What does that have to do with-"
"Bloody well everything you stupid sodding child!" He shouted and Willow skirted back her fists balling angrily, "Fuck all," He mumbled and stepped towards her, "Didn't mean that the way it came out Kitten," He pressed on reaching for one of her hands, she flinched back.
"It's Willow, Spike," She said her lip trembling, "It's Willow."
"Willow," He started quietly not retreating and Willow noticed how red his eyes were, how tired he looked. She didn't move away from him when he reached towards her, a thumb wiping at her tears he continued, "Rupe saw the benefit of having another player on Buffy's team, he knew I'd do what I had to, to protect her, to protect you."
"W-Where's Buffy?" Willow stuttered not pushing him away when he leaned into her his arms encircling her, if felt nice not to be alone, even if was just Spike.
"Finding out who we have to kill to get you girls back home this decade." He answered quietly.
"What?" Willow pulled away, "But...there isn't a home anymore. It's gone."
Spike shrugged and turned away from her he leaned against the pillar, his bare toes inching over the ledge, "It's cold out here Red, best get inside 'til the Slayer gets back."
Willow sighed and bent down to pick up the book. She turned to go inside but stopped, her hand gripping the chipping wood of the door frame, "I-I'm kinda' sorry. You know about everything."
"No need Pet." Spike didn't turn towards her, just took out his Zippo and flicked the flame as he eyed the road.
***
Willow lay curled up in the bed, the wind was whipping up ferociously outside, lulling her to sleep but she fought it.
Her stomach clinched in anxiety, the intimacy with Buffy and Spike pushed to the furthest recesses of her mind, it was getting late. Buffy hadn't returned. She fought her exhaustion and her desire to pile herself out to the porch to keep sentinel with Spike.
She realized that was what he was doing, keeping watch, for Buffy, for anything that might be out there.
She felt hopeful when he mentioned home, hopeful until she realized Buffy still hadn't gotten back.
***
The sound of a car door closing echoed through the woods and around the cabin's sparse four walls. Willow's head shot up and she silently cursed herself for falling asleep. Before she had time to think about heading for the door she found herself on the porch watching Spike retreat into the darkness.
"Spike?" She called out cautiously. Eyes adjusting she squinted past the snow and barren trees until she saw Spike immerge from the darkness a bloodied sword in his hand and Buffy limping tiredly at his side.
"Ohgodohgodohgod." Willow whispered to herself taking the stairs in one step, the cold snow squished between her stocking footed toes as she ran to the pair.
She nearly tumbled over a fallen branch as she hurried to meet them. Spike gave her a small nod before Buffy looked up at her.
"Hey Will." Buffy coughed, her hand tightening on Spike's shoulder.
"Oh God Buffy. You're hurt." Willow panicked, her arm reaching underneath Buffy's, taking some of the weight from Spike, though he hardly needed the help.
"Couple scratches." Buffy smiled weakly.
"A couple-" Willow stopped when she met Spike's stare, not yet, he told her, not yet.
"Got 'em though. It was icky, oozy even." Buffy nodded her feet taking the steps into the cabin slowly.
"The sword can attest to that Slayer." Spike answered turning the slither of metal in his hand respectfully before tossing it across the porch with a loud thunk.
"My girl, she done good." Spike whispered, his free hand tucking Buffy's hair behind her ear as he and Willow steered the injured Slayer to the bed. "Should've come back for me before tangling with the baddies but she done good."
Spike kneeled at Buffy's side, taking one her hands in his as Willow scuttled around the room looking for the first aid kit. She opened Buffy's bag first and tossed the meager contents to the floor before she reached for her own. She found the kit tucked away beneath a pair of jeans.
Rushing back to Buffy's bedside she opened it, swabbing a cotton ball with alcohol she looked at Buffy, "This is gonna' sting."
"Think I can take it Will."
***
Willow tossed away the bloody cotton balls and rolled the bandages back into neat balls, stuffing them back into the first aid kid. Setting it on the bedside table she looked up at Spike, the worry on her brow equally reflected on his.
Taking a deep breath she spoke, "Think you can clue me Spike?"
Spike looked at her, she knew he was studying her stance. She dropped hands that had been resting against hips, and softened her face, "I need to know Spike." She whispered when he looked away from her, his hands pushing Buffy's hair out of her face.
"The Watcher," Spike began, "Buffy had only found out after you'd fallen asleep, after our little..." He drifted off, "After at any rate. She'd come back to get her weapons. Sun was still shinning and you were still sleeping. I had to stay behind."
"Rupert worked some of that mojo you're so good at," He paused a smirk barely crossing his face before he picked back up, "Summoned one of the portals, got in good with whoever it is that tugs the strings of your lot."
"Like God?" Willow asked incredulously.
"Not the Almighty himself, Pet, imagine the swelling of Rupe's already swollen frontal globes at that one." Spike snorted shaking his head.
"No something I hadn't heard before, Powers of some sort, struck a bargain with them. Told 'em Buffy was a force of good, that she didn't deserve any of this."
"And they what? Just listened?" Willow prodded, disbelieving.
"Wouldn't go that far, but they gave us an out. Not a nice out but an out." Spike shrugged leaning down placing a kiss against Buffy's forehead before looking back in Willow's direction.
"It'll probably be bloody and brutal," His hand gestured towards Buffy's battered form, "But it's an out."
"We just have to fight for it." He finished and stood up moving away from Buffy and Willow, heading towards the door, "Not like your lot isn't used to that."
"Our." Willow corrected sitting down on the bed taking Buffy's hand in hers, "Our lot."
***
It wasn't over yet, it was far from over, Willow knew as she lay tangled around the Slayer who was healing with the resiliency her title gave her.
"You'll win." Willow sighed her hand absently moving across Buffy's back avoiding on instinct her heavy but quickly fading bruises.
"We'll win. I can't fight this with out you guys, not with out you." Buffy looked up at Willow, her eyelids heavy with sleep and healing.
Willow bit back an excited smile, Buffy's words were, small as they are, more of a comfort than anyone could guess, she should be stern as much as she wanted to cradle Buffy in her arms and love her, the Slayer was hurt.
"You should be asleep Buffy." Willow frowned with practiced worry. "You know getting all Slayer-y with the good sleep vibes."
"I'm all about those vibes." Buffy yawned, laying her head against Willow's shoulder, her hand gripping the Witch's waist, "Sleep is good."
"Listen to the redhead." Spike called from the doorway, Buffy gave him a tired smile before closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep.
Willow watched Buffy contentedly for a few minutes, forgetting the usually overbearing presence of Spike on the other side of the room until she heard him shuffle across the floor.
She watched him with curiosity as he rifled through the weapons bag, gathering a collection of knives and daggers and an oil cloth in his arms. His face was passive, his features cloaked and hidden when he looked in her direction.
"Need to clean these, Slayer's not been taking care of her arsenal all good and proper like she should be." He told Willow quietly before stepping back outside onto the darkened porch.
Willow bent down, her lips delicately kissing Buffy's forehead before she rose from the bed. Grabbing her jacket, she shrugged it on and made her way towards the door. Opening it she stepped out into the cold.
Spike made no move to acknowledge her presence, a cigarette dangling from his mouth as his hands worked the cloth against the cool blade of a dagger that Willow knew once belonged to Faith.
Trembling at the stark memory Willow sat down next to the vampire. Sighing she slumped her shoulders and stared out into the blackness of the night, her breath trailing in the cold she spoke, "What's next?"
"Fighting, bloody good violent chaos most likely, the usual. We'll beat it." Spike answered with a shrug, tossing Faith's knife to the side before picking up another one.
"And after that?" Willow asked quietly still looking into the darkness.
"After?" Spike questioned, tugging his cigarette from his mouth and tossing it into the snow.
"Yeah." Willow pulled herself up and looked at him.
Spike shrugged, "Don't know Will."
"I love her Spike." Willow told him quietly, "I mean a lot."
"And, and," Willow picked up at his silence, "You love her."
"I do." Spike tossed the oil rag and the knife to the side, "Not a secret." He finished looking at Willow, his hands resting awkwardly in his lap.
"Yeah." Willow sighed and looked back out towards the darkness, "So what's next?"
Spike chuckled at her question reaching for her hand like he needed to busy his own, "Don't know Tulip, not a mind reader, isn't that your gig?"
"Hey. Not fair there, Buster." Willow smarted threading her fingers through his and leaning against his shoulder, comfortable with the tiny gesture, the touch of the creature who loved Buffy as much as she did suddenly and unexplainably right.
Willow breathed him in, the smell wrapping around her, and it was nice.
They were so much alike Willow decided reluctantly, they wanted to be good, to be loved but their base instincts were not always rooted in right. It would always be a battle, for both of them.
Buffy kept them tempered, tethered and maybe it was wrong, relying on Buffy to keep their demons at bay. Wrong or not it was loving Buffy that kept the darkness back for both of them. Loving her and being loved.
Willow had no idea what would happen next, when they left this place, but for a few moments in the dark cold of Montana, Willow was okay, because she was loved and she was wanted.