Letting Go

by HDGenscher

[reviews]

TITLE: Letting Go
AUTHOR: HD_Genscher
RATING: NC-17, for language and sexual content
PAIRING: B/W
SPOILERS: for "The Gift"
DISCLAIMER: All characters and places belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, et al.
ARCHIVE: HD's Fan Fiction Archive (http://www.wiffy.de/hdffa/).
FEEDBACK: If you liked it, I'll appreciate your feedback. And if you didn't like it, it'll help me a lot if you point out what I did wrong.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: An experimental story.
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LETTING GO


Part 1. SHATTERED

running / two stairs at once / faster / must run faster / Glory's paid / bitch paid for what she did to Anya / to all of us / but it's not over / Dawn's up there / she's in danger / must be faster / must ignore the pain / must keep running / almost there / "Dawn!" / who's that guy? / pushing him aside / oops! / "Buffy, it hurts." / she's bleeding / that bastard hurt her / not so sorry anymore / you're safe now / oh no... / a blinding ball of light / emerging from somewhere beneath the tower / ...it started / lightning bolts striking the ground / "I'm sorry." / a huge dragon / reaaally scary yet beautiful / suddenly she turns around / "it has to have the blood." / runs / / blood starts it... / / Willow / ...and blood will make it stop / I lunge after her / I've got her / almost / she's over the edge now / oh god! / I'm not gonna make it / "Daaawwwn! Nooo!" / somehow I cling to the gangway / but she's falling / "Buuuffffyyyy!" / I close my eyes / won't see her falling / suddenly the crackling stops / silence falls / eerie / I failed / god! / through my closed eyelids / I can see the energy ball disappear / I open my eyes again / it's gone / she's gone / below me, I can see the gang / beaten, but alive / gathering around something / someone? / can't see what it is / but / I can see the sunrise / she's gone / and near the end of night / a new day is dawning.


Part 2. BEING ANNE SUMMERS

I'm numb / all numb inside / not letting the pain take over / not allowing the pain / not letting go / 'cause I can't let go / she's gone / she's gone and I'm responsible / wasn't strong enough / not fast enough / / oh my god! / the same scene / playing over and over again / Mom... / what will she think? / can't face her / can't look her in the face / 'Dawn, she...she fell, Mom. I tried to catch her, but I...just wasn't fast enough.' / wasn't strong enough / hesitated a split of a second / my fault / 's all my fault / what can I do? / where can I go? / can't go home / too much guilt / grief / memories / why? / why wasn't I fast enough? / hesitated for a single thought's worth of time / I was always fast enough / except once -- the master, remember? / why? / why me? / why do the ones I love always get killed? / Angel / and now Dawnie...oh god... / can't stay / can't face her / must go / must be Anne again / Anne -- numb girl / must go / must go on / step by step / going on / must go on / can't let go / can't allow the pain / I'm numb / just going through the motions / keep smiling / / I'll be numb girl / just keep walking / that damn bus platform must be somewhere / out of the corner of my eye / a shade of auburn / coming towards me / tackling me / ouch! / a cloth pressed against my face / smelling really bad / don't wanna breathe / must breathe / must fight it / must fight the darkness / must go / "can't let you go," I hear / must go on / going on / going / gone.


Part 3. A LONG WAY TO WILLOW

can't move / some weirdo must've tied up my arms / reeeaa-llly strong / fuck! / can't get free / can't see / blindfolded / ohmigod! / / what the shit? / "oh, you're awake..." / that voice... / the sound of leather / someone breathing near my left ear / a sweet smell... / "you're not going anywhere. not again!" / ...intoxicating / I know that voice / yet don't / a new confidence or undertone I can't place / where'd old Willow go? / "who are you, and what have you done to my Willow shaped friend?" / a giggle / sexy / making me shiver / a hand / touching my cheek / running down my chest / teasing me / mmmhh... / a pair of breasts pressing against mine / while another hand's supporting my neck / your lips brushing mine / must resist / don't wanna resist / feels good / she's your best friend / feels good anyway / yoursisterwasjustkilled!! / "mmmmhh..." / shut up! / seems like you got a verrry special therapy / sexual healing / another kiss / demanding more / I give in / your tongue...and mine / dancing / heat's rising / feels like in a hothouse / must've read my mind / you rip my shirt apart / a gasp from you / yeah, I'm not wearing a bra / lick / one for the left / lick / and one for the right / mmmmhhh... / I moan / and remember / Willow / thinking of you / on the tower-- / then your lips are gone / hey! come back! / somehow my pants go / so do my briefs / your breathing's heavy now / seems you're as aroused as I am / a finger running along my wet center / probing / a cold breath / you tease! / sending a chill down my spine / yet promising more / much more / --the thought / it was you / I thought of you / just a split of a second / must tell you / must tell you that I... / "I love you...." / just a whisper / yes! / that feels nice / then you enter me / could come right away / slowly / up and down / so very slowly / your other hand / cupping my breasts / oooohhh / that's good / right there / yes, right there / coming closer / another finger / faster / and then the flick of your tongue / ever so slightly / "oh yessss..." / lick / I can feel it / so close / that feels... / licklicklick / ...so good / uuuuunnnnggh! / I'm gonna... / "I'm..." / I'm coming! / "...coooommming!" / ... / ... / laplap / oh my god, you're licking me clean / keep breathing, Buffy / then you're kissing me / I'm tasting myself / you hug me / mmmh...Willow's hugging good... / holding me tight / I start crying / ...reaaallly good / weeping / letting it all out / letting go / "shh! it's okay." / so it shall be / 'cause you said so / kissing away my tears / "don't ever try to run away again..." / I won't-- / "...cause I won't let you go." / --if I'm held by you / "home is where the heart is..." / so true / "...and your heart is mine!" / possessive much? / hmm...I guess / after a long way to Willow / I'm finally...home.

THE END