A New Start
by Bwriter
Chapter 5: The Buffy half
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Chapter 5: The Buffy half
"They seemed nice." Buffy nodded at her watcher while she was getting up to get a drink. "Willow seems like a nice girl." That got a response. Giles noted with certain clarity that Buffy's eyes did turn golden for just a few seconds. Seems that both the Slayer side and the girl side of Buffy both liked the girl.
"She is isn't she?"
"You should ask her out on a date." Although both Giles and her mom were pretty open minded, that once sentence caused her to spit juice all over his kitchen worktop.
"What makes you think I even like her that way? And what makes you think she even likes me that way for that matter?"
"Oh I don't know it may have been the way you watched her like a hawk or it may have been the fact that the slayer in you likes her just as much as the girl in you does."
"Stupid eyes" she muttered in response. "Its no use anyway Giles. I'm not getting involved with anyone and especially not Willow. She would be a prime target for vamp or demons to get at me. Not to mention the whole slayer package or did you forget about that? Huh? You know the one that says I'm a freak of nature? The one that has every person I have ever gotten close to that way since I became the Slayer got hurt because of me!"
"Only one person got hurt and that was an accident. Stop beating yourself up over Michael. It wasn't your fault he got hurt. It was his own bloody fault, nobody told him to do to the lair to stop Angelus but he went anyway. You did NOT get him Killed!"
"Even so I can't take that chance with Willow!"
"Why not?"
"Because I have known her less that a day and I have already fallen in love with her... Oh god this cannot be happening." Giles knew better than to approach the slayer who was warring within herself over the young redhead. His last thought as she was leaving was that she had never looked so unhinged about something.
The next day saw the two teenagers waiting in the Library for them well before school started. While Giles made a beeline for his office Buffy was trying to work out how to get rid of Willow before she broke her own promises to herself.
"What are you two doing here?" Buffy inwardly cringed at how lame that sounded. She had to try better to get rid of them. Not giving them a chance to respond she went on, "look guys to be perfectly honest I neither want or need you both here so could you just leave?" There she praised herself, that sounded better. Xander just glared at her and walked out. Willow looked hurt. Oh god I didn't want her hurt, which is why I'm doing this. Stay focus Summers
"What's your problem?" The question was asked quietly but with a real force behind it.
"Excuse me?" Willow was walking closer to her now and the Slayer was aware of how close ever step brought them.
"You seem to keep everybody at arms length, well everyone except Giles. I was just wondering why?" By the time she had finished asking the question she was right in front of the Slayer. Buffy took a deep breath and then totally regretted doing it because she got a whiff of the perfume Willow was wearing along with the smell she would come to associate with the redhead: strawberries.
"Is it me or did your eyes just flash golden?"
"Damn eyes, need to get contacts" Buffy mumbled not thinking she had said it out loud until Willow informed her of it saying:
"Don't. There's nothing wrong with your eye colour. So what if they change occasionally to gold."
Buffy stared open mouthed at the girl before closing it with an audible snap. "It's a slayer thing," she mumbled looking anywhere but at the girl she wanted to take in her arms and never let go. She expected her to freak right about now. Michael did. He refused to even look at her or touch her if her eyes even for one second were any colour other than the usual hazel.
"I think they're pretty." With those five words all of Buffy's barriers broke and she turned and ran from the room.
She ran until her lungs protested and then she ran some more. With five words Willow had dug emotions out of her that she had thought were long buried. Acceptance, longing and hope. She wondered as she now sat atop the hill looking out over the town if maybe she should give the friendship thing a shot, because no matter how she felt there was no way she was getting Willow involved with her Slayer half. Not if she could help it. She never even knew what she could be capable of when she was intimate with someone because she had never trusted herself to go that far. She was too afraid of loosing control in the heat of things. She couldn't bear it if she hurt Willow that way. When she raised her head again it was night time and time to start patrol. She felt good. She had come to a decision. She would try the friend's aspect with Willow and ultimately Xander because apparently those two were buy one get one free. Crawling into bed at 3.am she finally let herself rest and her dreams were for once of the non-violence variety.