The Memory Remains
by Blacky
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All the Buffy characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy . I own bugger all
Summary: Buffy and Willow react differently to the memory loss spell in tablu rosa
and it gets kinda confusing for them both.
Pairing: Buffy/Willow
The Memory Remains
Ok ok lets recap what¡¦s going on 7 of us here in this shop umm we think it¡¦s a magic shop theres Rupert and his wife Anya, and Randy he¡¦s another brit so I guess he¡¦s ruperts son theres Alex a shy girl named Tara, this kid who we think is my sister and then there¡¦s HER. Her names Willow I think it suits her with a wonderful red hair that I just want to run my hands through, those loverly tempting lips that just scream out me and make me want to kiss her senseless and those deep emerald eyes and that hot little body of hers It just makes me want to¡K
Theres also a group of some realy ugly guys outside who want some spikes or something god I mean this place is weird I wonder if things are always like this?
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This is sooo cool I mean I have super powers I mean here we are me and randy kicking the ass of some vampires I mean VAMPIRES me and im what barely 5ft6 at a guess. Well looks like randy just finished the last of them I don¡¦t wait for the ash to hit the ground I just start running as fast as I can back to the magic shop I want to make sure the others are all alright who am I kidding I want to make sure she is ok I don¡¦t know where randy is I thinks he¡¦s trailing me im not sure I get back into the shop and I cant see any one so that means they went down the sewers as planned boy this place is a mess.
within minutes im in the sewers very clean considering that theyr sewers maybe vampires aside this town is pretty cool though I doubt it. I finaly catch up with them
¡§GUYS STOP¡¨ my voice just echo¡¦s really spookily but they hear me. They stop and come running back to me and Willows in the lead once she gets to me she reaches out to a tear on my jacket and rubs her hand up my caressing me gently.
¡§a-are you o-ok?¡¨ she whispers gently looking into my eyes
¡§yeah just one of them had sharp nails looks like he ruined this jacket I hope it wasn¡¦t expensive¡¨ throughout my explanation she doesn¡¦t stop caressing my arm not that I object to it hell I¡¦m loving it.
¡§it doesn¡¦t matter as long as your ok¡¨ she says softly as we stand there gazing into each others eyes and I¡¦m trapped there.
¡§Yo what¡¦s up?¡¨ Alex spouts out snapping me back to the real world.
¡§oh umm me and randy sort of killed all those vampire type guys so I came to find you¡¨ I say it to Alex but im still looking into Willows eyes ¡§umm is Rupert and Anya with you? Because when I got back to shop it was a mess and I assumed that they had followed you guys down here¡¨ I sorta babble out because after I let willow know I was looking for her I got nervous
¡§no we haven¡¦t seen them at all ¡¨he replies
¡§I should have checked the shop more carefully, shit. Head back to shop ill run on ahead if you hear any fighting when you get to the ladder don¡¦t come up okay? If alls quiet then you can come into the shop but don¡¦t leave¡¨ with that I turn and run off back the way I cam < damnit I should have checked the shop instead of just breezing through damnit>
I just go round the corner when I hear her call me I stop and turn round just in time to see her following me round the corner and looking really out of breath, I walk up to her.
¡§is everything ok where are Alex and the rest?¡¨ my worry is clear in my voice.
¡§their coming but I couldn¡¦t just let you go running off like that with out telling you to b-be careful and that umm¡¨ she¡¦s stopped talking by my lips on hers and GOD I know I don¡¦t remember any other kisses but this one was incredible I mean talk about wow I have to break off the kiss before I get TOO involved we stand there catching our breath staring into each others eyes.
¡§look I have to go I need to go and make sure that the others are safe, but we will continue this later I promise okay?¡¨ I whisper out afraid that speaking louder will spoil the mood, she nods mutely I give her one last chaste kiss before turning and running off again heading back to the shop.
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¡§GILES¡¨ I shouted as I got back into the shop section of the magic box I don¡¦t know what happened but just after I climbed back up from the sewer my memory came back unfortunately with the restoration it didn¡¦t wipe out my the events of the last few hours.
¡§ah Buffy good to see that you are alright I don¡¦t suppose in your battle with those vampires from earlier this evening revealed what caused our memory loss? If yes err how did you correct it?¡¨ he spoke in his usual Giles-y way.
¡§um no I dusted them and then came running back here I saw nobody so I followed the others into the sewers¡¨ ok not a total lie I did come back here I was just too focused on something else to check things out.
¡§ ahh yes me and Anya were trapped in the training room we had a problem with a err skeleton, it¡¦s a long story and I wont detail it to you now though I am surprised you didn¡¦t hear the commotion¡¨ he spoke carefully trying not to chastise me for not being more thorough. I didn¡¦t see Anya about though I have no doubt she was around somewhere.
¡§look Giles the others are on their way back they shouldn¡¦t be more than a few minutes so I¡¦m gonna go and do a quick patrol before I go home kay?¡¨ I don¡¦t really give him a chance to reply because I just wander out of the magic box to start my session of ¡§beat the crap out of a few vampires till I feel better¡¨ and maybe after that I will go home.
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Well I must admit patrol was entertaining and I worked some things out though there was a problem when Spike showed his face but that ended happy i managed to end things with him once and for all I couldn¡¦t go on using him like this I had to go out and make it by myself and not go using him as a crutch bieing back might be hard but I¡¦m gonna make it.
When I got home I found Dawn sitting on the couch crying her eyes.
¡§Dawn whats wrong?¡¨ I say asi envelop her in a hug
¡§Tara¡¦s left¡¨ is her muffeled response
¡§Why?¡¨
¡§because of the spell that will cast tonight, the one to make us forget¡¨. Willow did that to us tonight? No surely I mean why would she cast a spell for us to forget everything why did she cast a spell to make me want her? ¡§I know Willow didn¡¦t mean for us to forget everything but she promised Tara she wouldn¡¦t do any more spells and she did so Tara¡¦s left¡¨ she concludes with a sob
¡§Ssshhh now it will be okay, now go on uptoto be I¡¦ll talk to Tara in the morning and see if I can convince her to move back in kay?¡¨ I offer despite my mixed feelings on Tara leaving
¡§thanks¡¨ she says before going to bed
My mind is reeling I mean Tara¡¦s left Willow done a spell to make us forget something and it went out of control and some how made me want her or was that part intentional aghh I don¡¦t know everything is mixed up I mean I don¡¦t have feelings for Willow I mean I¡¦m straight I was boinking spike for Christ¡¦s sake but when I think of when I kissed her I mean wow I get excited just thinking about it so why is it lingering with me when it was the product of the spell cos I mean I haven¡¦t felt anything like this before and the only time do something like kiss her is when I¡¦m under a spell so that¡¦s go to be it right?
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I woke up early at around 7 to get Dawn ready for school and she mention that Tara had lectures all day till 12 so I should go see her then I had 2 days off from the double-meat palace so it wasn¡¦t a problem going round I had to catch her after her last lecture of the day because I didn¡¦t have a clue as to where she was staying.
I think I must have spent about 2 hours with Tara but it was no go she was still too upset and angry with Willow to forgive her at that time and said that if she moved back in with us it would be too painful after this was finally made clear to me I was relieved she would be moving back for the time being and I don¡¦t know why I¡¦m still confused and last night trying to sleep didn¡¦t help I could hear Willow crying and I wanted nothing more than to go comfort her I ached to take her in my arms but I couldn¡¦t do it was still confused I still am aghh why is this so damned hard?
Well its after dark so I think I will go and beat up on some vamps I don¡¦t have to worry about being home too early Dawns staying at Janice¡¦s for the night and I know Willow is more than capable of handling her self these days and I know I should comfort her but I cant face her at the moment maybe tomorrow
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It was nearly 3am when I made it back home after patrol all the lights were out so I assumed Willow was in bed, boy was I wrong.
I walked into the living room I was about to switch the light on when..
¡§B-buffy?¡¨ it was said quietly but I heard it clearly
¡§Yes Will?¡¨
¡§can we talk? Cos I need to talk to you about last night¡¨ she says though he voice is still hushed as if she can¡¦t risk to talk normally. I reach over and turn one of the lamps on just to give us enough light to see and me enough time to think of a weak lie.
¡§No Will its been a tough patrol and I¡¦m really beat so I think I¡¦ll just hit the sack kay?¡¨ it¡¦s a transparent lie but I hope it works.
¡§No its not okay we need to talk about this about what happened¡¨ guess my little lie wasn¡¦t enough to cut it.
¡§Look Will NOTHING happened ok¡¨ yeah that¡¦s it nothing happened.
¡§You cant deny this Buffy YOU KISSED ME¡¨ she says the last slowly loudly and clearly.
¡§YEAH and we all know why don¡¦t we?¡¨ I bite back at her if she wants to get angry then fine two can play that game.
¡§What????¡¨
¡§You and your little spell first you make us forget who we even are then¡K¡¨ I start with then she cuts me off
¡§It wasn¡¦t supposed to work like that, it was supposed to help make us all forget about our bad times recently¡¨ is what Willow tries to get before I cut back in.
¡§Then as part of this spell you make me want you ¡¨the last words as whispered out I couldn¡¦t even look at her as I said them.
¡§Y-y-you think I did that? You think it was part of the spell Buffy how could you think that t-t-that I would do something like that?¡¨ she¡¦s hurt I was expecting her to lash out not hurt that¡¦s not right.
¡§Then how else do you explain it then?... I have never thought about you like that and ever since that damned spell your all I can think off I cant get you out of my head how you felt and those feelings weren¡¦t there 2 days ago what else could it be huh what else?¡¨ somewhere through my rant I started crying and now I¡¦m full out sobbing and I just collapse on my ass on the floor with my face in my hands repeating my new found mantra of ¡§what else¡¨ before I know it she¡¦s kneeling next to me her arms wrapped around me rocking me back and forth.
¡§Ssshhh Buffy sweaty its ok ssshhh I¡¦m right here come on honey talk to me why must it be the spell?¡¨ she coo¡¦s into my ear trying to calm me down.
¡§b-because I shouldnt *sob* feel anything for you I cant feel I¡¦v been so cold since I came back but since that spell I have been feeling and its all you how soft your skin feels how it felt when you kissed me *sob* a-and the pain in my heart when I looked into your eyes and how happy I was when we held each other for those few seconds after we kissed¡¨ I struggle to get the words out out.
¡§oh Buffy all that wasn¡¦t the spell, all that was you as pure as you¡¦ll ever been everything you felt everything your felt and are feeling is real its really you, the only thing that spell done was make you forget about what I did to you ripping you out of heaven so you weren¡¦t agree with me any more and you didn¡¦t hate me so for the first time since you came back you really saw me understand?¡¨ as she finishes say that I look up at her into her emerald eyes and its true its all true what I feeling was real the first thing since I came back to be REAL and I want it I want HER.
I reach out and gently put my hand behind her neck and bring her lips down to mine the kiss is gentle it has to be I¡¦m so nervous and unsure but after what seams to be a life time she begins to kiss me back and changes from the ¡§I love you¡¨ I wanted to convey to a passionate ¡§I NEED you¡¨ kiss. Eventually I stop it there¡¦s things she needs to understand just like she helped me to understand what I was feeling.
¡§Will, Willow please we need to stop ok?¡¨ I barely manage to get out I must have done something right because she seams pretty eager for us to continue, then I see something dawn in her eyes its doubt and fear she thinks she¡¦s done something wrong.
¡§Ssshhh¡¨ I say placing my finger on her lips ¡§you have done nothing wrong ok I just need to tell you a few things first and ask you a few ok?¡¨ she nods mutely ¡§First of all I need you to understand that I don¡¦t hate you I could never hate I was angry yes for you bringing me back here but I NEVER hated you, even before I knew how I much I felt for you I couldn¡¦t hate you, you have always meant to-to much to me¡¨ I had to let it out she had to know I couldn¡¦t let her go on feeling unnecessary guilt I reach up and cup her face in my hand I give her one quick chaste kiss before I ask
¡§ Willow I have to ask how long have you had feelings for me?¡¨
¡§Well I think I realized how I felt after you died, it was like I was dead a piece of my heart died with you I couldn¡¦t live with out you, I had lost you. That¡¦s when I accepted that the person who truly held my heart was gone that I loved you, still love you and you were gone¡¨ she¡¦s crying hard now tears running down her face ¡§that¡¦s when the dreams started you were in so much pain and with each new one I died a little more, and that¡¦s when I knew I had to save you and god Buffy if I knew then what I knew now¡K I would have still done it because I just couldn¡¦t live without you, I needed you I still need you.¡¨ At this point I¡¦m crying as well now oh god she was in so much pain even remembering hurts her.
¡§God Willow I¡¦m so sorry but that doesn¡¦t matter any more I¡¦m here and I love you and I¡¦m not going anywhere okay babe?¡¨ with that I kiss her again this on designed purely to reassure. We break apart from the kiss and she just looks me in the eye
¡§I love you Buffy Summers¡¨ is all she says. We sit there on the floor for some time longer just wrapped in a loving embrace then over Willows should I see the wall clock telling us just how late/early it is.
¡§Willow?¡¨
¡§Hmmm¡¨
¡§come its time we got going to bed ok its getting late or early or whatever kay?¡¨ with that we both stand up the climb up the stairs is longer tonight than most other night we pause outside her room
¡§I suppose this is goodnight then?¡¨ she asks me a little trepidation in her voice.
¡§Yeah umm unless you want to stay with me? I mean you don¡¦t have to but I just want to hold you tonight but if its too soohmhm¡¨ I¡¦m cut off with a pair if lips covering my own
¡§I would love to¡¨ she tells me when we¡¦re done. And with that we wander off down the hall to my bedroom getting more excited with each step.