No Matter What
by Kevin
Part six
[reviews]
TITLE: No Matter What
AUTHOR: Kevin
DISCLAIMER: All original characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I own Joy and Anne.
SUMMARY: Buffy didn't return to Sunnydale after running away to LA.
DISTRIBUTION: I Kind of Love You.
Part 6
Buffy slowly opened her eyes and rolling over looked at the time on the bedside clock. 'A couple of hours. One of these days I'm gonna sleep right round the clock. Probably won't help though.' Pulling herself out of bed, she looked over at Joy who was curled up in the middle of the bed sleeping soundly. 'Gonna get a shower and changed before I wake her.' Twenty minutes later Buffy was showered and dressed. Deciding what to wear wasn't too hard these days. She had long ago given up wearing dresses, usually opting for jeans and a tee shirt. Money didn't allow having the kind of wardrobe she had been used to. Going over to the other bed, she gently shook the sleeping child. Quietly she said, "Come on baby. Time to wake up." Joy rolled onto her back and squinted up her mom. Buffy smiled down at her. "You have to get cleaned up then we'll find your best dress so we can go and see your auntie and nana." Even though Joy had only just turned three, Buffy had noticed that she was a quick learner. Most things only needed showing to her once and from then on Joy would do them by herself. Joy went off to the bathroom while Buffy went to the dresser to get out the dress she had bought a couple of months ago for her birthday and left it on her bed. When Joy came back, she dressed herself while Buffy finished doing her hair. Going over to the bed as Joy finished dressing Buffy sat against the headboard and Joy climbed up to sit between her legs.
As Buffy started to brush her hair Joy said, "What's a aunty and nana mommy?" Buffy smiled. She had only said them once and now Joy would want an explanation to their meaning. "Well sweetie, an auntie is mommy's sister, so my sister Dawn is your Aunty Dawn and a nana is mommy's mom." 'That sounded weird' thought Buffy. "So my mom is your Nana Joyce." 'You would have two nana's if I knew who your dad was.' Buffy shook that thought away, no point in dwelling on the past. "That's why I named you Joy, after my mom." Joy just sat there with a big smile on her face as Buffy continued to brush her hair. "So who did my other name come from?" The sudden question from Joy bought an intake of breath from Buffy. For a second or two Buffy remained silent and then said, "Can I leave that one for now baby. I promise I'll tell you but later, okay?" "Okay mom" replied Joy. She knew that mommy would tell her when she was ready. Joy could feel the tenseness that had crept into Buffy. Satisfied with the way Joy looked Buffy put her coat on and grabbing her own jacket said, "Come on then, let's go an meet the rest of your family."
After this morning's planned conversation hadn't come out the way Buffy intended, she decided to just go with the flow and see where it took her. Turning into Revello Drive, she pulled the car onto the driveway behind her mom's SUV. 'At least some things are still the same' she thought. As she climbed from the car and got Joy out, she deliberately refrained from looking at the house just in case anybody was looking out of the window. As she turned to walk to the front door, she heard it open. "Hey, Buffy" said Faith as she came bouncing down the steps. She stopped in front of Buffy and said, "Just Mrs. S. and D' in there now. Red's gone over to her folk's place, which is where I'm headed so you shouldn't get any interruptions and just so you know, I didn't repeat any of our conversation. I figure that's our business." Faith walked past Buffy then stopped, turning round she said, Oh, something I forgot to mention at lunchtime. Tomorrow, if Anya's there don't let her get to you. She can be blunt and tends to say what others are thinking, even if they won't say it." With that Faith strolled off down the road in the direction of Willow's old house.
Buffy took hold of Joy's hand and walked up the steps to the door. Not knowing what kind of reception she was going to get she decided to knock instead of just walking in. As she raised her hand to the knocker, she heard her mom call out "It's still your home Buffy. You don't have to knock." Buffy slowly walked in and turned toward the sitting room. She stopped at the entrance, her mom was sitting at the far end of the couch and her sister had turned round at the near end to watch her come in. Buffy couldn't read the expression on her mom's face but thought she saw just a faint glimmer of something resembling love and affection in her eyes. Dawn on the other hand had a grin that would have put the Cheshire cat to shame. There was no hate or anger, just a big 'I love you and I'm glad your back' grin.
Buffy moved into the room and sat down in the big armchair, pulling Joy onto her lap as she did so. Once she'd sat down she just kept her eyes on the floor, not wanting to have a staring match with either of them. After what seemed like forever Joyce spoke, "So, does anyone want a drink?" Buffy still didn't raise her eyes so she didn't see Joy look at her as if to say 'can I please mom', when Joy got no response she turned back and said, "Yes please." This made Buffy look at her and feel proud of her little girl. 'Always so polite, so good. From a role model like me. I must be doing something right.' "Buffy?" asked her mom. Buffy looked at her mom and said, "Yes please. Juice for Joy and I'll have a coffee thank you." Dawn got up, saying, "I'll get them." "Okay dear" said Joyce and turning back to Buffy said, "Buffy, why doesn't Dawn take Joy with her to see which sort of juice she'd like?" Buffy looked at Joy saying, "Do you want to go with Auntie Dawn?" Joy nodded and said, "Yes please." Buffy set her down and watched as she walked over to Dawn. Dawn's grin just went up a notch as she said, "Come on Joy, lets see what we got in the fridge" as she led her into the kitchen. 'Dawnie's going spoil her rotten' thought Buffy. Turning back to her mom, Buffy sat there for a moment, then getting up she crossed the room to where her mom sat and going down on her knees she fell into Joyce's arms where finally after four long years they both allowed the tears to fall. For the next few minutes, neither Joyce nor Buffy said anything.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Joy had heard her mom start to cry and went to get down off the stool to go to her. Dawn put her hand out saying, "Joy, I think it might be better if we waited in here. Your mom and my mom need to do this." Joy looked at Dawn and said, "But mommy's crying, is she hurt." "No" replied Dawn, "she's not hurt in a painful way but when your mom left here it was with a lot of anger and sadness. This is just the start of trying to repair that." Joy had a puzzled look on her face as she looked at Dawn, but decided that because she was a grown up she knew what she was talking about. With that, Joy turned back to her drink. She had already decided after this morning that she was going to like her Auntie Dawn. As she finished pouring two large cups of coffee Dawn turned to Joy and said, "Hey, why don't we get the mom's to come in here and do their thing and we can watch TV. Would you like that?" "Yes please" replied Joy. As she moved to the door, she thought 'Buffy's really done a good job bringing up Joy considering what she used to be like.' Dawn peeked into the sitting room. The crying seemed to have subsided a bit though they hadn't moved. "Mom, Buffy, coffees ready. I thought maybe you could have it in the kitchen then I can keep Joy with me and we'll watch a bit of TV."
Buffy and her mom eased apart at the sound of Dawn's voice. Dawn could see they'd both been crying and hard. Her mom's face was streaked where her makeup had run and Buffy's eyed were all puffed and red. Looking at her mom Dawn just touched her own face and Joyce smiled as she got the message. Buffy turned to her sister and said, "Thanks Dawnie, is she okay." "Yeah, no prob." replied Dawn, "she'll be okay with me." Dawn went back into the kitchen to get Joy down off the stool. As they crossed paths Buffy stopped and bending down, she said to Joy "You be good now, okay." Joy nodded and said, "Yes mom", then moving closer so she could whisper she added, "I like Auntie Dawn." Buffy just smiled, got back up and continued into the kitchen. As she heard the sound of cartoons come on she thought 'Oh yes, you are going to be spoilt big time.'
As she entered the kitchen Buffy saw that her mom hadn't sat down so going over to her she pulled her into a hug and said as tried to keep the tears away, "I'm so, so sorry. Not letting you know I was okay, well not okay but alive. For everything you must have gone through." "That's okay honey" replied Joyce "I'm just thankful that your alive and well. I've had some time to think after what you told us this morning and I realize you must have been hurting very much to go off like that. Come on, let's sit and drink this coffee before it gets cold and I'll listen to what ever you want to tell me." Letting go of Buffy, Joyce sat down at the counter and Buffy moved to sit on the other side. "Before you start though I'd like to say I'm so sorry for what I told you that night, I just wish that we had been more open with each other. Then maybe you could have told me earlier about being a slayer, and I should known you well enough to let you do whatever you had to do and then tell me. I had a long talk with Mr. Giles when I discovered you had gone and when I told him what I'd seen and what you'd told me he explained the basics of what you do. I must admit I was surprised when he told me that Willow, Cordelia and Xander helped you. But he did explain that they'd all found out by accident what you were and that really the fact that you were a slayer was meant to be secret so I understand you not telling me." Joyce paused to take a sip of coffee. Looking at the time she said, "How about I start dinner while you tell me what you need to and I'll understand if you want to leave parts out." By this time, Buffy was very close to tears again so she just nodded. As Joyce left to go to the bathroom to clean up she added, "And Buffy, that is one adorable little grand daughter you've bought me. I'm going to have a lot of fun telling her all about you. That's if Dawn doesn't get there before me." That was enough to start Buffy off again. Her mom came round behind her and putting her arms around Buffy's shoulders said, "Hey, come on now. No more tears. There's been enough sadness in this house. Time to make it a happy home again."
When her mom returned Buffy went up to clean up. Returning to her seat a few minutes later she saw that her mom had started cooking some mince beef and had the pasta and sauces out to make one of Buffy's favorite dishes, lasagna. Buffy contemplated asking her mom to do something simpler for Joy but changed her mind when she remembered that she'd been eating her mom's lasagna since she was Joy's age. If there was one talent her mom had really mastered, it was cooking. Finishing her coffee Buffy sat thinking for a few minutes while she gathered herself together and decided where to start telling her mom all that she needed to say.
TBC