One Tough Cookie
by Kirayoshi
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Spoilers; Up to Angel; The Girl in Question
Archive; let me know, I'm liable to say yes.
Feedback; it's better than chocolate. Kirayoshi@hotPOP.com
Summary; Angel and Spike may not be getting cookies, but they definitely get their just desserts.
One Tough Cookie
by Kirayoshi
Hey, Spike.
A little advice in the future; if you want to keep a secret, don't tell Andrew. All I had to do was give him the old Evil Eye and he folded like an origami crane. Yes, I know that you're alive. And I know that you and Angel were tailing me in Rome. And for the record, whatever friendship I felt for either of you is officially over.
I want you to know that when I said 'I love you', I did mean it. Not in the romantic sense, but in the sense of I thought we understood each other. I thought I could trust you, after all that had happened.
Believe me, that's one mistake I won't make again in this lifetime!
You should have told me you were alive, Spike. You should have trusted me. At least trust me enough to make my own decision on whether or not I still wanted you in my life. Or Dawn's life; she still cares about you, God knows why. But you took that choice away from me, you let me believe that your soul was languishing in the depths of the fallen Hellmouth.
Figures that you'd find a way to cheat death. Too ornery to die. Or too stupid.
I don't know exactly how you came back, nor do I particularly care. After I found out that you and Angel were stalking me in Rome, I'd just as soon never see either of you two again as long as I live! You actually thought I was in love with the Immortal? Geez, hop on the clue train, Bleach-boy! The only thing he and I have in common is the fact that we both would just as soon stake you as talk to you right now. Although when we found out that you were tailing me, we laughed our asses off as we led you two around Rome like bulls by their noserings! And you idiots thought you were protecting me! You lost that right long ago, if you ever had it in the first place!
Sure he's a good guy, and a good connection for the new Watcher's Council, but he's not my type. For two reasons, actually. One, he's IMMORTAL! When I'm an old lady, he'll still be the same as he is now! Who wants that? I made that mistake twice in my life; once with Angel, and once with you! Not again! I want someone I can grow old with, who'll grow old with me. Which brings me to...
Two. Something happened to me in Rome recently, just after Dawn and I moved into our villa here. Andrew told you that Willow and Kennedy were in Rio, right? Well, Willow had been enjoying Rio immensely. Right up to the last night of Carnivale, when she walked in on Kennedy in their bed with a showgirl, and not a stitch of clothing between them. Let's just say that Kennedy's stock has dropped among the new Slayers. Right now she's the only person I dislike more than you and Angel.
Willow didn't cry when she showed up at my doorstep two days after Carnivale. That came later, when I set her up in my guest room and she called Kennedy to send her the rest of her things. She told me later that she cried not because she realized that Kennedy never loved her, but because she never loved Kennedy, but she still allowed Kennedy to drive a wedge between her and me. Which made me feel pretty low myself, since I let my own dislike of Kennedy drive me and Willow apart. I spent the whole night comforting her, soothing her sobs, assuring her that nothing would ever break up our friendship.
I still don't recall whether she instigated the kiss or I did, but when our lips met all I could think was, 'why didn't we do this before?' We didn't go any further that night; we both fumbled our good-nights, and spent the next day or so regarding each other with a measure of embarrassment. We started reverting to our old habits of avoiding potentially difficult conversations, until Dawnie called us on our backsliding. She forced us to sit down and talk about the kiss, to air it out before it festered too deeply in our guts. Willow, bless her heart, was afraid that she was rebounding off of Kennedy and didn't want to feel like she was using me. That second, the instant she told me how much she prized our friendship, even after all the crap I put her through, that's when it hit me. I had spent the last eight years of my life searching for my future, for that one person whom I could love unconditionally and would love me the same. And that person was with me all this time. Her name is Willow Rosenberg. The next time we kissed each other, there was no embarrassment, no shame, no doubt, only a connection, a sense of rightness that I had never felt before. Not with Angel, not with Riley, and certainly not with you.
Why am I telling you this? Why am I telling you that Willow and I are together, that I have found the one true love of my life? No, it's not to rub salt into you wounds or anything like that. It's simply about closure. I am where I need to be, with the person who completes me. And I don't want you or Angel hanging around, still thinking that either of you have a shot in Hell with me. That ship has sailed.
I really don't care what you and Angel do with the rest of your lives. Just don't do it in Rome. I want to spend the rest of my life secure in the knowledge that I will never see you again. In fact, if I ever see either of you again, I'll stake you. It's as simple as that.
Tell Angel that my cookies are done. They're lemon biscotti, dipped in white chocolate. Willow's current favorite. Which is fitting, because she's the only one who'll taste them again.
Have a nice life and stay out of mine,
Buffy
Spike smirked as he reread the letter that Harmony had handed him when he first walked into the Wolfram and Hart building that night. Angel was out following another desperate lead from LA's demon underground, hoping against all hope to find some way of driving Illyuria's animus out of Fred's body. But he'd be back soon. And he'd find this letter waiting for him. As Spike left the letter on Angel's desk he considered hanging around, just to see the look on his grandsire's face when he realized that his great love was truly lost to him.
As he left the barren office, he spared one final thought for the memory of a blond Slayer, before packing those memories away forever. "Well mate," he whispered through a sardonic smirk, "that's the way the cookie crumbles."