Causatum
by sailor80
Five
[reviews]
Willow sat on the couch and waited for Buffy to return from patrol. It had been a long day, and she wanted the comfort of Buffy beside her. She hadn't been completely honest with everyone that morning. She could, if she chose, remember each moment, and her hands began to itch at the thought. Willow wondered, too, what Dawn had become, and wondered how she missed Dawn's change from child to young woman.
There were other things she questioned. Who Aislin was and why she and Tara were joined at the hip. Whether she could use magick again. When Giles would want to speak to her. How life would be different now that they all had more money than they needed. Why she felt at ease only when one or both of the Summers' were touching her.
The sounds of Dawn preparing for bed drifted down the stairs. How many nights had she and Tara listened for her nightmares so they could try to stop them? Dawn slept soundly most nights since Buffy was back. Willow had slept the night through since coming home from the hospital. As far as she knew, Buffy had slept well, too. She acted rested and happy and Buffy-like. Willow smiled at the thought of the Slayer. She had never thought that Buffy would be more than her best friend. Not that there would be a happily ever after, she realized soberly. There would just be a night that Buffy didn't come home. Another night like the one they defeated Glory, denied the luxury of time to grieve because there were things to do. No matter how many nights they had between now and then, it would never be enough. Her chest grew heavy at the thought of burying Buffy again. The only reason she had survived the first time was that Tara held her up.
She had been supremely unfair to Tara, Willow realized. She loved Tara and always would, but she had never given Tara everything. Even at their most intimate, Willow had reserved something for Buffy. Who could and did call on her at a moment's notice. When Tara was incapacitated and needed Willow's complete attention, Willow had dropped everything to bring Buffy back. She rationalized that they needed the Slayer, but knew that it was because she needed Buffy. Just like she needed her now, to tell her everything would be fine, that they would find a way through because it's they do.
The door opened and Buffy came through it. "Hey, Wills."
"Hi, Buffy. How was patrol?"
"Not much going on. I walked the witches back to Tara's dorm."
"I missed you."
Buffy sat beside Willow on the couch. "You okay?"
"Now." Willow gave Buffy a small smile.
Buffy laid a hand on Willow's thigh. "Where's Dawn?"
"In bed. She's got school tomorrow."
"You going back?"
"Yeah. I didn't miss that much. I can catch up. Did you really patrol?"
"We went through a couple cemeteries. Nothing's out there tonight."
"What about your sacred duty?" Willow asked.
"It's right here." Buffy leaned over and kissed Willow gently. "Ready for bed?"
"Yeah," Willow answered and stood up.
They climbed the stairs hand in hand.
Willow woke before the alarm went off. She kissed Buffy and got out of bed. On the way to the bathroom, she turned off the alarm. Willow showered and dressed. She got her backpack ready for a full day of classes, then got Dawn up.
Willow made coffee. She wasn't hungry, but fixed a piece of toast and ate it with her coffee. Dawn wandered in a few minutes later. She ate a bowl of cereal quickly and asked Willow for lunch money. Willow emptied her wallet and handed the bills to Dawn. They left together.
Willow had a two hour break at 11 am. She stopped at the ATM in the student union and got some cash. Her eyes bugged at the balance showing on the receipt, and she shoved it in her pocket with the bills. She was headed toward one of the carts around the quad to get something to eat when someone called her name. It took her a moment to recognize Aislin. When she did, she went to the bench where Aislin was sitting. "Hi," Willow greeted her. "I was going to get some lunch."
"Mind if I join you?" Aislin asked.
"No," Willow answered.
"Great!" Aislin stood up. "Where are we going?"
"I usually eat from one of the carts," Willow told her.
"Lead the way," Aislin smiled.
They didn't speak again until they were seated under one of the trees out of the main pedestrian traffic.
"How do you like Sunnydale?" Willow asked, to break the silence.
"What I've seen is fine," Aislin responded. "You have a lot of cemeteries."
Willow shrugged. "Hellmouth factor." She took another bite of her sandwich, washed it down with a swig of water. "Thanks for everything you did."
"It wasn't much," Aislin told her. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," Willow smiled.
"This is awkward," Aislin observed.
"Yeah. I don't know you at all, but the others seem to trust you, so if you're okay with them, it's all good. Is Giles really your godfather?"
"Yes. I've known him all my life. I haven't seen him very much since he became the active Slayer's Watcher."
"Buffy keeps him pretty busy."
Aislin laughed. "That is an understatement. How many apocalypses has it been?"
"I dunno, we don't really keep score. A lot." Willow finished half her sandwich and wrapped the other half up.
"Tara told me how you resurrected Buffy."
Willow looked away.
"How hard was it?" Aislin asked.
"Not as hard as watching her die," Willow answered without meeting her eyes.
"Willow, I'm not a threat to you."
"I didn't think you were." Willow still didn't look at Aislin.
"You're allowed to stop and catch your breath," Aislin told her quietly. "No one will think any less of you. You've been through more in the past year than most people see in a lifetime."
"What do you know about it?" Willow demanded. "You don't know me."
"I don't have to know you." Aislin kept her voice low. "Any one of the things I've seen, any one of the things I've been told, would have destroyed almost anyone else. You fought a hell god and won. You watched your soulmate die, and then you resurrected her. You carried a demon around for years, and it took over when you were at death's door."
"Just another day on the Hellmouth," Willow said, and got to her feet. "I've got a class." She walked away quickly, before Aislin could say anything more.
Habit carried Willow to the lecture hall for her next class. She was half an hour early, and the room was empty. She took her regular seat and tried to get her emotions under control. 'Everything Aislin said was true,' she thought. 'Why did I get so angry?'