To Thine Own Self Be True
by mike
Taming the Power
[reviews]
Chapter 5
Taming the Power
Willow and I arrived at my house a little after four with books and lots of unanswered questions. On the walk home, I laid out my plan. I wanted to get homework out of the way and then I could fill her in on the whole slayer bit. As curious as Willow was, apparently being responsible enough to want to get homework done first really impressed her.
She went into this non stop dialog about not being able to relax if she doesn't have her assignments done on time but how she wishes she could be more devil may care, but if she try's, she just wakes up in the middle of the night having to get everything done before school and she must have toured the land of Oz at least twice before taking a deep breath and said, "OK, stopping now."
I was just dumbfounded by the entire event. The expressions on her face going from worry and panic to serious discussion with occasional smirky witticism. She's looking at me all worried, so I smile bigger and just say, "That was incredible, you are the most adorable being alive."
"Huhh" she replies with her eyebrows arching up and her eyes opening wide.
"You don't think I'm a big old spaz?" She asked me fearfully.
"No way." I tell her. "I could listen to my Will all day. Whatever comes out of your mouth is far more interesting than anything else I have ever heard." OK, I know the mush factor has gone through the roof but these are the things you do when you've just fallen head over heals in love. You don't know what's up or down and frankly, you don't care. Aren't hormones great!
Her response was to blush so deeply her ivory complexion became the color of her hair. I shifted my book bag to my right side and put my left arm around her while placing a tender kiss on her cheek. We finished walking to my house just like that, well except for the kiss on the cheek part.
Mom wasn't home from the gallery yet and I didn't expect her until six thirty. We hit the books and with Willows help, I got my assignments worked out and we finished a little before six.
We had set up in the living room because I still had some unpacking to do in my room. Putting our books away, Willow sat back and looked at me expectantly. I leaned towards her and gave her a gentle kiss on those oh so soft lips of hers. Again we felt energy flowing, and I was able to break it off with a mutual sigh. I sat back turning sideways so that I could face her and she was twisted to face me. I rested my hand on her knee which caused her to shiver a little and her cheeks flushed. I took a breath and looked her straight in the eyes.
"A slayer is a human girl endowed with extraordinary strength, speed, agility and healing so that she can battle evil. Primarily in the form of vampires, but essentially any demonic creature bent on evil. Any questions so far?" I ask her.
"Not yet, keep going." She tells me while her eyes slowly get bigger.
"OK, there is only one slayer active at a time. How slayers are chosen is a complete mystery. And all we know about the activation process is that when a slayer dies, a new slayer is activated, or called. I was called one week after my sixteenth birthday. I was always pretty tough and strong for my size, but all of a sudden, I was like super strong. Then Merrick showed up. Merrick was my watcher."
Willow interrupted with a question here, "Like Mr. Giles?" She says.
"Sorta. But I'll go into the difference later." I give her leg a gentle squeeze.
"Merrick introduced me to the fact that vampires and demons really existed. He took me to a graveyard where I witnessed my first vamp rising from a new grave. I was never a screamer and never shied from a fight but this thing was ugly and gave me major creeps. But when he jumped me, my instincts took over and I dusted him pretty quick."
"What do you mean by dusted, and how strong are you?" She interjected while I was catching my breath.
"When you kill a vamp by piercing their heart with a wooden stake or decapitate them, the entire body turns to dust. It's thick and gaggy. You learn real quickly not to be inhaling when you take one out up close." I explain. "As for how strong I am, let me give you an idea." She had previously turned sideways on the couch and was sitting crossed legged. I slid my hands under her legs, palms up until they were firmly under each of her small firm hind cheeks. As my hands firmly cupped her cute little butt, her back stiffened and her eyes shot open wide and her breathing began to quicken. I smiled encouragingly at her and with my arms straight out in front of me, I slowly lifted her until her knees were level with my forehead. She gazed down at me and saw that I wasn't even straining and able to hold her without a tremor.
"Wow, can you fly?" She whispers.
"No, I can't fly but I can jump straight up about twenty feet and I think I can do a running broad jump of about a hundred feet." I then lower her back to the couch and reluctantly remove my hands from underneath her. Willow also looked a little disappointed and protruded her lip in a pout. It was so cute, that I just had to lean forward and kiss it.
I decided to move things along before mom got home and grabbed her hand pulling her up from the couch while saying, "Come with me. I've covered the basics now I need you to read something."
We go up to my room and I closed the door and tell her she can sit on my bed. I quickly move two boxes of clothes out of the way and open my special chest. I lift up the top to reveal my slayer stuff underneath. From the special compartment in the side, I pull out The Letter, the one from Merrick. I open it and walk over to Willow. I hand the pages to her and ask her to read it.
She takes them from my hand and does as I ask. I watch her carefully as she reads, watching her brow furrow and her mouth opens forming in a silent oh. When finished, she just keeps looking at the last page for a few moments and then looks back up at me.
"Well? What do you think?" I ask.
"This council really sucks, and if Mr. Giles works for them, there is no way you can trust him." She says with vehemence. "And we've got to figure out this person of power you need to train with so you can begin to fight these guys. Do you have any ideas who it is?" She asks me hopefully.
I look right back into those emerald pools of hers and just feel this incredible happy glow spreading out from my chest all through my body as I reply to her question.
"I already know who it is." I tell her quietly.
"YOU DO! Then who is it, tell me, tell me" she practically begs while bouncing impatiently on the bed.
"How about I give you a hint" I say with a smile.
"So it's someone I know?" She quickly guesses. I knew she was sharp. She just has no comprehension of how special she is.
"Yes, it's someone we both know." I continue to lead her on.
"OK, give me the hint." She pleads.
I lean forward and begin kissing her and as she responds we feel the passion and the power build. We ply each others mouths with our lips and tongues. Learning to make the power flow and dance within our sensitized bodies and make it dance along our tender flesh. Finally, I break the kiss and she's leaning forward with her eyes closed, her lips half open in a tender request for more. I place my hand against her cheek and say "Willow, don't you feel the power?" I ask.
"Of course, but isn't that what happens when you kiss?" She says innocently.
I immediately realize that Willow has never been kissed before. I'm her first I think to myself smugly.
"You've never kissed anyone before?" I ask quietly.
"Other than relative's, just Xander and that was when we were five. Then he stole my Barbie and we broke up. So I don't think that counts, because looking back, it was like kissing a relative." She says with a little regret.
I decide not to pursue that little tidbit, so I proceed with the matter at hand.
"Willow, if kissing was like what we are experiencing for everyone, that's all anyone would be doing. Kissing is normally nice, and feels really good and if done with the right person, really gets your juices flowing. But to the best of my knowledge, it doesn't raise waves of energy that make your body sing. What you and I create together is special and one of a kind. As Merrick's instructions state, it can only occur between two people of great mystical power who are soul mates." I tell her pouring all the love I feel into my words and making sure she sees it in my eyes.
"I'm a great mystical power?" She squeaks. "And you, me, us we're uhhh, Buffy and Willow us, you, me, soul mates?" She's starting to hyperventilate so I kiss her again.
We're beginning to get good tuning the power to affect our mood. And I was guiding the flow with tender teasing of her tongue and lips to bring a calming peace to both of us. As I felt her return to a calm demeanor, I slowly pulled back and asked her, "Think about it Willow. We only met today for the first time. Yet we both felt compelled to commit ourselves to each other, completely trusting in each other with only token caution. And you, had you ever thought you were gay? Did you think you could love another girl? Would want to kiss and be kissed by a girl? No other explanation can explain what has happened to us."
"I kinda see your point, about the gay thing. Until today I never really thought about sex. I thought about kissing Xander because we've been best friends since we were five and I've never had any other friends that would spend much time with but Xander did. We did all sorts of stuff together when no one else would even give us the time of day, so I liked to think that we would get married some day, but I never thought what we would do if we were married other than live in a house together and give each other hello and good bye kisses and just be safe and comfortable with each other. In fact, until today, I never knew what it meant to be aroused, in a sorta uh... you know way, like when we kiss or you put your hand on my knee I get all warm and soft inside like what must happen to an M&M under the candy shell when you warm it up. So you can shut me up now since somewhere in there I think I presented a good argument for being gay besides the fact that I can't stop thinking about how I want you to touch me, like all over touch and I am definitely stopping now." She took a big breath and blew it out.
I leaned really close to her and rested my forehead against hers and said with all the sincerity I felt, "I love you Willow ..., ah and I don't know your last name, oh my god. I feel like such an idiot."
She smiled at me and said, "Let me introduce myself, Hi, I'm Willow Rosenberg".
I smiled back and said, "Pleased to meet you Willow, I'm Buffy Summers."
Then I thought back to one of my old list items. "Rosenberg," I say slowly, "Willow, are you Jewish by chance?"
"Uh, yes." She replied warily.
I broke out my biggest smile and said, "Besides making me the happiest girl alive, you have the opportunity to fulfill one of my childhood wishes. I've always wanted to attend a Seder."
"Really?" Then she gets the biggest smile on her face and says, "That would be so great. I can hardly wait to share that with you, and it's just a few weeks away." She responded with such joy in her voice and then she rewarded me with that patented melt into a puddle of Jell-O smile of hers and I had only one thing left to say,
I felt totally inspired and compelled by whatever powers that cause people in love to be total mushy idiots as I opened my mouth.
"I Buffy Summers, take you Willow Rosenberg as my soul mate, to love, cherish protect and honor all the days of my life."
Apparently it was contagious as Willow spoke.
"I Willow Rosenberg, take you Buffy Summers as my soul mate, to love, cherish, protect and honor all the days of my live." She responded as tears began to pour from her eyes. Seeing her like this I pulled her into my arms and nuzzling her neck, breathed in her scent, losing myself in her essence.
We held on to each other like that, sitting on the bed completely lost in the moment until,
"Buffy!" I heard my mom call from downstairs.
We quickly pulled apart and I grabbed a tissue and handed it to Willow. "Be right down" I yelled back to my mom.
"Come on, time to meet the parent." I grinned wickedly at her.
"Oh no, are we going to tell her, uh you know about us, us as in you and me?" She sputtered out.
"Lets just leave it at you're my new friend who is so kindly helping me catch up on classes, just say Hi Mrs. Summers and follow my lead, OK?" I tell her.
"OK, follow your lead, don't babble, and stay cool. I can do this." She says determinedly.
"I have faith in you Willow. Just relax; I'm here for you always." I assure her.
I lead her down stairs and find mom in the kitchen pulling stuff out for dinner.
"Hi mom," I say as we enter the kitchen. As I see my mom's eyes focus on me and then Willow, I follow up quickly.
"Mom, this is Willow. She's the smartest person in school and for some strange reason took pity on me and is helping me get caught up with classes."
My mom smiled brightly at Willow, saying "Hello Willow, thank you for looking after Buffy. I hope you can keep her out of trouble." She smirks and winks at the both of us.
Willow gasps momentarily, then catches the smile and the wink and relaxes responding with a "Nice to meet you Mrs. Summers."
"Buffy, I'm heating up meat loaf, mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. Would you like to join us Willow?". Joyce asked.
I looked at Willow and mouthed "Yes".
Willow looked at my mom and said "I'd love to Mrs. Summers, thank you very much."
Mom had prepared everything yesterday so she just needed to reheat the food.
Willow and I set the table and helped mom put out the food. We sat down and filled our plates and started eating. I kept glancing over at Willow, just enjoying watching her. I totally forgot how observant my mom could be, and I wasn't doing a very good job hiding my interest in Willow.
"So Willow," my mom starts out, "will you be able to introduce Buffy to any nice boys."
I had a mouth full of mashed potatoes and fortunately Willow was between bites because those potatoes came shooting out of my mouth like they were shot out of cannon.
"Huhhhh", Willow looked up like a deer caught in the oncoming headlights of a Mack truck.
"Thought so." My mom said smugly, looking first at Willow and then at me. "Buffy Ann Summers, I may have been distracted the last couple of years but I know you and I remember our talk when you were six. I'm sorry that we never had the follow up discussion, especially now that you are a young woman and it's pretty obvious that your original belief is in fact true. I think we should include Willow in this talk, or am I reading things wrong Buffy?"
As I'm trying to clean up the mess I just made, I'm carefully listening to mom and as she finishes talking, I look at Willow, gulp and say,
"Willow, she knows I'm gay. She just wants to make sure we don't get hurt. It's OK to talk with her, but if you're uncomfortable with it, maybe we can put it off for a day or two." I say to Willow and she's nodding back aggressively.
"Yes, please, uh in a day or two or more even would be better." She says desperately.
I look at mom and implore her "Mom, you took us by surprise, Willow needs a little time to process things and then we can have a talk. I promise we'll be careful. OK mom?"
"I did spring that on you." She agreed. "Willow?" She asked getting Willow's attention and once she had it she proceeded. " Don't be frightened Willow, I'm not going to get mad at you or hurt you in anyway, besides, if you haven't figured out by now you soon will that Buffy won't let anyone harm you." She smiled affectionately at me and I glowed with pride back at her.
"But people can be very cruel without physically attacking you." She continued. "I just want to have a practical discussion with the two of you on how you can best have a relationship without drawing unwanted attention from those who would want to hurt you because they think you're different, so try not to put this off too long, I just want to help you both. OK Willow?" She asked with concern for what she thought was a teenage infatuation. I was thinking that we would let mom believe that for now and let her come to the real answer in time, as mom already proved, she's pretty observant when she wants to be.
"OK and thank you Mrs. Summers. I just want to think about it first a little bit so I don't feel so unprepared." Willow explained in this little girl voice that just broke my heart. It apparently got my mom also because she got up and went around to Willow and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and said,
"Please Willow, you have nothing to fear. I know if Buffy cares for you then you are very special. I have learned over the years that Buffy is very good at finding truly good people. Please believe me when I tell you that I would no more do anything to hurt you than I would to Buffy."
Willow looked up at my mother and for reasons I was not yet aware of tears began streaming down her cheeks and my mom just put her arms around Willow and pulled her into a comforting hug. Willow clutched her desperately, just letting her fears wash away with her tears as mom just kept repeating "It will be all right, everything will be all right." Willow stopped crying and with a last sniffle pulled back from mom and Willow gave mom one of those smiles. Mom's face lit up like Times Square and gave Willow her warmest mother smile.
I need to ask Willow what's going on I think to myself, her reaction to my mom is a bit extreme.
"Thanks Mrs. Summers. Can we talk tomorrow? Buffy and I are going to do homework after school together."
"Whenever you say Willow." Mom lets her know that there is no pressure.
I go up to mom and give her a hug and say "You're the best, mom"
"Just don't keep any more important secrets from me, OK Buffy? It kinda hurts when you don't trust me." She lets me know.
Her words rock me but I do a good job of hiding it and Willow is still dealing with the other issue so hadn't really registered the significance of my mother's words.
"Willow and I have a little studying to complete and then she was going to show me the place where everyone hangs out and listens to some of the local groups. Then I was going to walk her home." I explain and then wait for her answer.
"That's fine Buffy, just be home by ten thirty, it is a school night." She responds with the gentle authority of a caring parent.
"Sure mom, no problem. Come on Will; let's finish up so we can get going. I think we're both due for some fresh air, don't you think?" I smirk at her.
"Sounds good Buff." She winks back at me.
As we start up the stairs towards my room, I can feel mom's eyes on our retreating backs and say a silent thank you for having a mother who cares and doesn't freak easily, well not too easily. I always suspected that wouldn't be the case if we hadn't learned to confide in each other so long ago. I was also grateful for getting out of clean up detail. That was a nice bonus, but one I would have gladly forgone rather than go through that kind of shock again.
Once in my room, we both knew what to do since Willow had just read Merrick's letter. Merrick had said that my soul mate would have great mystical power and would enable me to focus on demon presences like no other slayer before. He then detailed the procedure we were about to follow.
"We can do this on the floor over there." I pointed. As Willow sat down crossed legged, I went back to my chest and retrieved the yellow and violet crystal Merrick had left me.
I then sat on the floor facing Willow, also crossing my legs. I held out the crystal in front of me, grasping its base with the fingertips of my right hand. Willow reached out with her right hand and matched my contact to the crystal. We then reached out our left hands, passing them under the crystal and our right hands, and clasped each other at the wrist. We were able to feel each others pulse through the palm of our hands. I looked at Willow and saw her eyes locked with mine in growing anticipation.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah," She smiled. "I'm the readiest."
As we kept our gazes locked, we both commenced a deep, cadenced breathing. Once our breathing was fully synched, we could feel the gentle pulsing of power flowing up our arms. At this point we turned our focus to the crystal and felt ourselves drawn into its now swirling landscape. I was focusing on my slayer demon sensing ability and gradually felt Willow join me. We worked together to still the swirling power and concentrated together on extending ourselves outward. The sensory circle grew more rapidly until we could sense an area approximately a mile in diameter. The sun had already set, so I wasn't too surprised to discover that tingling sensation I get when vamps are present. I was trying to focus on identifying the location of the demon sources when I thought [ I need to somehow overlay the signals onto our sense of the landscape ].
Then I heard in my head [relax, and let yourself see the landscape. Then pull the feeling of the demon sources onto it. ] I knew it was Willow thinking because it felt like her. Her thoughts were comfortable, safe and felt like a Willow hug. This was an unexpected surprise. [OK, send me a little extra energy so I can focus in the landscape.] I quickly felt a warm energizing flow and was soon able to bring the area into sharper focus. Let me explain for a moment, we are not seeing this with our eyes; it was more like visualizing a 3-dimensional area in your mind. But rather than imagining it, we had opened a door to the metaphysical plane which allowed the physical presence of the outside to be felt or seen within our minds just as if we were looking at it with our eyes.
As the sense of the area became clear I took a moment to let Willow know my appreciation. [Wow, you are a real natural at this. We make a great team. ] I could almost feel her blush and felt a wave of pride from her.
[No big deal, I'm just helping to make it a little easier for you.]
[None of that, I chided gently, I could not do this alone. We are equal and complimentary partners. OK? ]
[OK. ] she thought back, [ now lets locate the bad guys. ] I could almost feel the pride my words had just given her. 'Note to self, keep building Will's severely trounced ego.'
It only took a couple more minutes to fully place the demon signals on our mental map of the surrounding area. Two of them were moving across the North West area towards the older downtown area. But one was approaching our location, right for us so to speak.
Willow then said [the two up there appear to be going towards the Bronze; this other one looks like its coming here.]
Then the one approaching my house stopped, placing it across the street and a few houses down. It wasn't a typical demon though; there was something else with it. This new perspective had so greatly enhanced my previous senses, that where previously all I felt was a general awareness of something evil being in the area, now I could actually discern the individuality of the presences.
[Does it look like there are two creatures there, Willow?]
[Sort of,] she replied, [but I think it's more like a demon and something else sharing the same body.]
[Could it be a possession?] I asked.
[Maybe, but I think we should treat it very carefully for now.] she said with extreme care and caution ringing the thought.
We explored the area for a few more minutes, getting more comfortable with holding the landscape in place and simultaneously sensing the demon presences.
[Are you ready to see if we can take this on the road?] I asked her.
[Yea, I think we're ready.] She responded confidentially.
We slowly pulled our gaze from the crystal and at the same time kept our minds focused on the image of the virtual landscape around us. We had a few minutes of disorientation as our vision and mental image fought for supremacy. But we were told to expect that and so took our time and using the energy flow between us while we brought the two views into compatible coexistence.
We could now see everything with our eyes just like normal, but still had access to this virtual world in our heads. [Cool.] I thought to myself.
"Yea, it is, though I'm thinking more WOW." Willow spoke out loud.
"You heard me think cool?" I asked her surprised.
She smiled at me with an impish quality. [Of course silly, if we're able to maintain the landscape, there's no reason we can't maintain the total mind talk thing. I guess its telepathy, thought I doubt we could do it with anyone else though it would be really useful if we could read minds, like the minds of those council guys. ] she cut herself off before she went into a total mind dump.
"WOW" I responded. Then I softened my gaze and put my entire heart into my thoughts [I love you so much].
[I love you too] she thought as she blushed again.
I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine. As the energy flowed between us this time, it had a richer quality. It was stronger, and contained our emotions and our sensory feelings which we were able to guide and share. This enabled us to build off of each others excitement. That melting M&M thing that Willow had described was quickly happening to both of us and embarrassing dampness was quickly ensuing.
[Oh, we have to pick this up later] I thought pulling back with the utmost reluctance.
"Definitely later." Willow responded with this incredibly sexy and throaty voice.
She then gave me her million watt smile. I think she knew what it did to me and took great pleasure in rewarding me with them. As for me, I just melted into my goofy grin until she said,
"Better get going if were going to complete this trial run and get you home by 10:30. I can't believe you're mom gave you a 10:30 curfew." She said in awe.
"Yea, pretty sucky, huh." I responded quietly.
"Maybe, "she told me, "but at least you've got someone who cares enough about where you are to give you a curfew." She said in that small voice of hers.
I then realized that Willow had not called home to let her mom know where she was. Hadn't asked permission to have dinner with someone she had only met. And nothing about when she would be home, or even if she would be home.
"Willow, what's with your parents?" I asked with concern.
"They're not really parents, they gave birth to me, house me and provide food and clothing for me, clothing which happens to be twenty years out of date, otherwise, they just ignore me. If I was kidnapped, they probably wouldn't even notice I was gone until the police showed up with my dead body." She responded sadly.
Her reaction earlier to my mom was now making more sense. I began to suspect that she had just become overwhelmed with the concept of a caring parent.
"I'm sorry, Willow. I can't believe that anyone would neglect you. But if it helps, you can probably count on my mom coming down on you once she finds out how unsupervised you are." I said with a smirk.
"You think?" Willow responded hopefully.
"Yea, maybe she'll ground us in my bedroom together for a whole week". I said mischievously.
"Oh wow," Willow started to breathe quickly, her cheeks turning a bright red. "Time for fresh air, yes, must have air, cool air, cool down the heat, did it get really, really hot in here?"
"Yea, time to go, as for hot Will, you're the hottest thing around" I said huskily. I could almost see steam rising off her bright red cheeks. Oh yea, boosting Will's ego was definitely a good thing.