Is Life Meant To Be Like This?
by Acepilot
Chapter II
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Is Life Meant To Be Like This (2/?)
Acepilot
Disclaimer - Essentially, see Chapter 1
Rating - R (working towards it...)
Pairings - Buffy/Willow, Dawn/Amanda
Authors Notes - Right. It just gets weirder, I'm afraid. I'm telling three stories here - what's happening at the moment (featuring the cast of Angel alongside Willow, Buffy, Dawn and Amanda), what's happened in the past with Buffy and Willow (a Season 7 re-write featuring our favourite couple) and, finally, how Dawn and Amanda hooked up (again, a Season 7 re-write). The flashbacks in the B/W retrospectives are written in a somewhat "TV" style, which I admit seems kinda baffling. I unfortunately can't get the right effect any other way, however, so I'll persist - unless someone can come up with a suggestion that keeps the same flow. Lines of asterix signify slipping into a flashback, if that helps at all.
I've been told that I write too much in my Authors Notes. I apologise, I'm working on cutting back.
Thanks to - Powderfinger (I've been listening to "Vulture Street" on repeat while writing this) and Elizabeth (for keeping me relatively sane while my life is falling apart).
---
Sunnydale, October 8th 2002
"Uh...Dawn, right?"
Dawn looked up from the book she was reading and rather hurriedly stuffed it back in her bag when she saw the girl approaching her.
She'd noticed her a few times now. She was a tall, thin young woman with long, flowing brown hair. She looked unmarred and completely oozed
'more than meets the eye.'
"Yeah, and you're...Amanda?"
"Uh, yeah. I am. Look, I was wondering if you'd gotten the notes in Maths, I kind of missed it. I wasn't feeling too well."
"I think I've got them around here somewhere..." Dawn started digging through her bag, unfortunately knocking her book out of it and onto the floor, where Amanda stooped and picked it up before Dawn could snatch it back.
"Endarl's Diaries?" Amanda queried, with a puzzled tone in her voice.
"Fantasy book. Mystical and all that..." Dawn flushed bright red. Buffy was going to pay if this got around school...
"Ah." Seeming to be satisfied, Amanda extended the book toward her. "Any good?"
Breathing a near silent sigh of relief, Dawn extracted her maths book and placed it on the table, exchanging it for the ancient tome that she was trying to find any reference to the Atrion Cult of Vampires in. "Surprisingly dull, actually." She indicated the maths book. "All the notes are in there. You'd be in need of the most recent ones, I guess."
"Thanks a lot." Amanda smiled shyly at her. "Really."
"Don't mention it," Dawn stressed, smiling broadly.
Amanda gave her an odd little half-smile, and wandered off, book in hand.
Just as Dawn was about to return to her work, the other girl turned back to her.
"Hey, Dawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh...would you be able to, maybe, help me catch up later? If I don't understand something?"
Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. Sure, I guess. I've got some frees this afternoon."
Amanda smiled at her. "Cool. See you here then?"
Dawn nodded. "Will do."
As Amanda walked away, Dawn felt her lips curve irresistibly upwards into a smile.
---
LA, July 19th 2006
Despite her instincts telling her to do otherwise, Willow had bizzarely allowed Gunn, Fred, Wes, Angel and Lorne to take her out for drinks while Spike sulked after admitting defeat in his argument with Angel - an argument that had turned out to be over what they had been originally arguing about.
Willow steadfastly made sure she didn't get drunk, but Wes, Fred and Gunn seemed to have no such inhibitions and were already staggering quite noticeably, particularly Fred as she tried to drag Wesley out to dance, tripping over her own feet in the process and lucky not to take Wes down with her.
Angel and Lorne sat with her at a private table in the corner of the club and observed with interest as the couple out on the dance floor tried rather amusingly to dance. Despite the humour of their efforts, undeniable love seeped from them like a mist, dulling the blade of whatever ludicrousness the alcohol might have otherwise offered.
"So, Willow...how's Buffy?"
Angel made a quick slashing motion across his neck in Lorne's general direction.
"Or not...well, how's that girlfriend of yours? Kennedy? Wasn't she a firecracker - ah." Lorne's breathing became quite rapid. "How's...you know what, I think I'd just like another sea breeze."
Willow spun on her seat to face Angel, who was sitting to her other side. "Thank you."
"Think nothing of it," Angel said as Lorne rose and sauntered back over to the bar, just as Nina returned. She sat down next to Angel and rested her head on his shoulder.
"You know, I think I'm going to go for a walk," Willow said, smiling at the couple. "You two should go have a dance or something."
"Are we making you uncomfortable?" Nina asked quickly. "Because we can stop, you know, with the -"
"No, I just...feel like a walk. Really. I'll meet you guys at the offices tomorrow."
"Okay," Angel nodded. "As long as you're sure."
Willow nodded, pulling her light jacket on. "I'm sure. See you guys in the morning."
---
The LA night was humid with threatening storm clouds hanging high above. Willow looked up at them in wonder as lightening tore across them, illuminating the sky for seconds at a time, providing a spectacular light show to go with the drums of thunder.
She got back to her temporary apartment just as the storm well and truly broke, leaving the lights off and slumping into a chair by the window. She gazed out at the storm, wishing to be such a force of nature, living wild and free.
She heard a sound behind her.
***"Couldn't sleep either, huh?"
She turned to face Buffy, her face illuminated palely in the brief flash provided by the storm. "No, I couldn't. Storm keeping you awake?"
Buffy nodded, slinking across the room with the Slayer grace that came naturally to her. She pulled up the other chair from next to the desk, sitting just behind and to the left of Willow's position at the window. "Nature is inconveniently loud."
Willow chuckled. "I somehow think that this isn't all storm related, though."
Buffy sighed. "No, it isn't."
"Look, there was nothing you could have done. She died because of her heart, not because of anything you could have prevented," Willow reminded her.
Buffy rested her forehead on Willow's shoulder. "I know Will. My mind keeps telling me that, but my heart..."
"Your heart keeps telling you that you could have done better, and she'd be alive."
Buffy nodded. "Exactly."
Willow turned back to look at her best friend. "That's what makes you a real hero, Buffy. Your heart knows that you can save everyone."
Lightning flashed yet again, catching off a tear welling in Buffy's eye. "I couldn't save myself. I couldn't save you."
Willow reached out and pressed a thumb to Buffy's cheek, wiping away the slowly falling drop of moisture. "I'm here to save you, Buffy. And you did save me." She slid her hand out fully and cupped the other girl's cheek entirely in her palm. "I was so messed up when Giles took me to England...and it was all I could do not to just give in entirely. And it was thoughts of you that kept me from surrendering to the dark." Willow herself was by now in tears, leaving glistening tracks across her face. "You saved me from myself, Buffy. And I can never thank you enough for that."
It was the softest of kisses, barely a brush of lips against lips. It was almost as if she was sipping at the blonde, trying to drink her in slowly, savouring every bit of contact.
Buffy leaned in closer, pressing harder against the rehead's lips, reaching a hand, slowly, tentatively, up to run through fiery locks.
Neither was sure when they rose, but minutes later Willow found herself pulling Buffy closer, sliding a hand under her pyjama top and caressing her back, marvelling at the still-smooth skin.
"I -"
"Don't," Willow whispered, almost pleadingly. "Don't."
No words were necessary, and none were used. They lay on Willow's bed, touching gently and cautiously, taking each other in in an almost spiritual sense more than physical.
And as she fell asleep in Buffy's arms, lips slightly sore but well and truly satisfied, Willow realised she hadn't felt so wonderful since...Tara.
Tara would always be a part of her heart. But maybe there was room for another woman as well...a woman with blonde hair and sushi pyjamas and a radiant smile...
Content in her dreams, she didn't notice as Buffy slipped away into the night.***
The elder slayer sat awake, gazing as lightning tore up the blazing sky she could see through her window. The lights of London reflected gave the clouds an orange glow, contrasting the stark silver-white of the electricity that coursed from ground to sky.
"It's getting worse, isn't it?"
Dawn turned to see Amanda behind her, sliding in and massaging her shoulders. Dawn leant back into her lover's strong body, observing her sister where she sat watching the storm.
"Yes," Dawn agreed. "You can tell she's thinking about something. I think it's whatever happened with her and Willow."
"She might just be pondering what to do with her life, you know. She's getting older, and now that she doesn't have to be the slayer...she still hasn't really made any decisions with where to take her life now that we're settled."
Dawn nodded. "True. But even so, I just hope Willow comes soon. It would just..."
"Clear the air?" Amanda ventured.
"Precisely."
The taller girl pressed a kiss to Dawn's shoulder. "Come on. Let's get some sleep. She'll be fine for the night."
Dawn turned in her girlfriend's embrace. "Just sleep?"
"God, are you never sated?" Amanda asked, but couldn't hide the massive grin that broke across her features.
Dawn kissed her slowly, easing her lips open with her tongue and sliding into Amanda's mouth, running over the smooth bumps of teeth and duelling cautiously, not trying to press for dominance, just making as much of a lasting impression as possible.
"No," Dawn whispered in her ear, striding past her, down the corridor to their bedroom.
Amanda cast one last look down the stairs at Buffy, wondering what they would do about the Slayer's sulky mood, before flinging all concerns from her mind and following in her lover's footsteps.
(More is on the way. Feed me back please! By the way — no, Buffy and Willow did not have sex. My writing skills weren't up to scratch when doing that bit, thus that may not have been clear. My apologies.)