Aftermath and College
by Bwriter
chapter ten
[reviews]
Chapter ten
~lyrics~
When they got to the Bronze, Anya, Kim and Giles were nowhere to be seen.
"Crap. We haven't told Giles, he has to be worried sick." Mike left to go phone Giles while the others ordered food.
He came back a few minutes later and plonked down into the closest seat.
"He is going to send the other two back. He says that next time wait for him to get here."
Tom watched as Buffy chatted with Xander, and he couldn't help but think that since she had come home, he hadn't seen her laugh, even once. Not really anyway.
Jonny left to get drinks for everyone, coming back with beers and cokes.
Xander raised his eyebrows when he was handed a beer.
"Ah, I'm not legal yet."
Jonny looked at him like he was daft.
"Jon, the legal drinking age over here is 21."
Jonny shook his head at Buffy.
"How the hell did you cope?"
Buffy blushed as Faith, Xander and Willow's gazes all swung over to her.
"He's making it sound like I was an alcoholic, I wasn't."
Jonny raised his eyebrows and Buffy caved.
"Okay, so there was that one time-"
"Five."
"-five times, but over two years, that's a pretty good average."
Faith reached over and snatched Xander's beer off him.
"If you aren't having it, I will."
Tom reached over and snatched it off her.
"We need one functional Slayer, so no drinking."
Faith looked like she was going to argue, until Buffy nudged her in the side.
"Don't bother, besides, he's right anyway. Sorry."
Faith pouted but accepted her coke from Tom.
"Here come the guys." Willow had looked up to see her girlfriend and Anya walk in.
Buffy sighed and sat back in her seat. In the background, a song came on that she vaguely recognised, but couldn't remember the name of.
"Hey, we ordered food for you." Xander kissed Anya hello, and Buffy turned her head as Willow did the same to Kim.
Willow broke the kiss off after only brief contact with Kim. It felt wrong kissing another person in front of Buffy.
"Glad to see your okay. Now Xander won't be too preoccupied to give me orgasms."
Buffy smiled at Anya while Xander blushed.. She liked Xander's current girlfriend far more than she had liked the previous.
"Thanks."
Willow was only half listening, as Kim was telling her about something that had happened that day, when she heard the words of the song playing.
Willow snuck a look at Buffy, and saw that she wasn't listening to Xander but was also listening to the song. Her breath caught when Buffy's eyes caught her own.
~It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can't let you see what you mean to me
'Cause my hands are tied and my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you.~
BWillow broke eye contact and blinked in an attempt to hold back tears.
~I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life~
The problem was, Buffy didn't want to. She wanted to hold onto the past, except, that the past was just that, the past.
The song ended and their eyes met again.
Buffy had to struggle to hide her feelings, and she failed miserably.
Willow gasped. She was seeing things in Buffy's eyes she hadn't seen in two years. Love was the main emotion shining through, but it was rivalled closely by pain.
This was too much. She couldn't be having feelings for her old girlfriend, while her new girlfriend sat beside her.
"I'm not feeling too good. Kim can we go?"
Kim, who really didn't want to be in Buffy's company anyway, stood up and took Willow's hand.
"Sure baby."
They left after saying goodbye to the gang.
The walk home was made in an uncomfortable silence. As soon as the front door had closed behind them, the questions started.
"Are you still in love with her?"
Willow froze. She had two options: lie or tell the truth. If she lied, everything could go back to the way it was, if she told the truth, well nothing was for certain then.
"Yes." The answer was out before her brain could catch up to what her mouth was saying.
Kim moved away from Willow and sat on the couch.
"I should have known."
Willow didn't know what to say or do, so she settled for standing by the door.
"What do you mean?"
"You keep me at a distance, you always have."
"No."
"You have. You were never as open with me as you were with her."
"You weren't around then, how do you know what our relationship was like if you weren't there to witness it?"
"Anya told me tonight, after I asked questions."
Willow frowned.
"But she never even met Buffy until yesterday."
"Xander told her."
Willow lowered herself to the floor.
"Oh."
Kim snorted bitterly.
"Yeah, oh."
There was silence for some time.
"Are you going to leave me for her."
Willow looked up, her answer in her eyes.
"Its not that I don't love you, I do, please believe that. When we broke up, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out, I felt like I couldn't breath, until you came along. You made me feel again, when I didn't think I could. For that I love you more than you know."
"But not enough right. Not enough to stay with me." It wasn't a question.
Willow stayed quiet.
Kim stood up and made her way passed Willow to the stairs.
"I'm going to move into the dorms early."
Willow stood up and grabbed her by the arm.
"You don't have to do that."
Kim gave her a sad smile.
"I really do. I'll be out of your hair in a few hours."
Kim swallowed before meeting Willow's eyes, tears cfalling from her own.
"Go find Buffy. If being with you has taught me anything, its that Life, is far to short."
She left Willow standing there, at the bottom of the stairs, and went to pack her bags.
Tbc
Lyrics were by 98 degrees, The hardest thing