Making Things Perfect
by Rin
Nightmares
[reviews]
"Buffy!!!!!!!!!" Willow shot up from the bed, hitting her lover in the head as she moved from the tight hold around her body. When the elbow smacked her hard in the head, the blonde woke up with a major head pain, wondering what the sudden intrusion was. Noticing that the sweat-laden redhead was panting heavily, and sobbing uncontrollably, Buffy went into instant concern mode, wrapping her tired arms around her lover, and trying to calm her somewhat.
"Willow? Willow, baby, what's wrong?" The only reaction she got was her girlfriend turning in her body, and tightly embracing their bodies together, holding on for dear life. Just rocking her crying form, and soothingly stroking her sweaty auburn locks, she placed gentle kisses on her neck to let her know she was there, and wasn't letting go. Once the redhead's sobs subsided, she cupped a startled Buffy's face with both hands, and looked at her as though examining her under a microscope. The careful gaze let her see that the blonde was really there, and that the nightmare was over finally. Relaxing, she couldn't hold in her emotions any longer, and crashed their lips together so fiercely that she knocked Buffy back on the bed. After breaking the kiss for air, Willow kept kissing every inch of her face as the blonde giggled from the sensations. "Not that I mind the sudden attack but what happened? Did you have a bad dream?"
"Oh, Buffy..." Willow just kept kissing every inch of her lover's form, needing to feel more skin immediately. She had to know that Buffy was still there, was still hers, and it wasn't a dream.
"Will..." Buffy gasped as the redhead ripped her tank top from her body, and immediately latched her mouth onto the skin underneath. She was enjoying the primal side of her lover but it was obvious that something was wrong. Willow needed this from her, though, so she didn't mind, opting to just hold her afterwards, and soothe her matted hair back as she caressed her lover back to sleep, she hoped peacefully, which is exactly what she did as the redhead crashed against her after their shared release, and began crying herself to sleep again from Buffy's care.
The blonde just lie there, quietly listening to Willow's breathing, feeling her chest rise and fall, and the hiccups that came from her gentle sobbing that was still coming through sleep. It wasn't the first time this had happened. Her lover had woken up thrice that week from a hideous nightmare, and she would ravish Buffy through her tears and urgent ministrations, and would fall asleep back in her arms until the morning. However, she wouldn't talk to her about it, and the blonde was beginning to wonder how bad the dream was that it would cause the redhead to keep the secret from her. They never kept secrets from each other any more, and when Willow was hurting, it made Buffy cry out for her, in order to ease the pain. Whenever she would ask her girlfriend about the dream, she would just shrug after wincing slightly, and brush the question off, as though she hadn't heard it. That was what bothered Buffy the most. Her lover was avoiding her questioning, and wouldn't talk to her about the problem. When she asked Xander and Faith, they mentioned that they knew nothing about it; that it was the first time they'd heard the obvious nightmares mentioned.
Lying there, holding Willow in her arms, Buffy started to cry herself from the turmoil her lover was in, and she couldn't stop the feeling of being pushed away by the redhead. It had been three weeks since her tour had officially ended in LA, and they had fallen into a familiar pattern of living. Since Thanksgiving, they could barely keep their hands off one another, finding them having little sexual trysts in public places sometimes. Their passion, love, and need had been rekindled, and they had started making plans for the wedding. Since it was a simple ceremony, there wasn't much to do other than preliminary things.
After they celebrated Hanukkah, they had started preparing for Christmas, since they had agreed to mix their two traditions together, and bring their lives together as a family. They had put up the tree that day, and Buffy giggled slightly, remembering how she managed to wrap Willow in gold tinsel playfully, and the redhead in turn had placed a red bow on the area where her buttons weren't done completely, making the laughs and pure joy truly memorable for their first real Christmas together. Last year, they hadn't been dating for a month even, and hadn't even slept together at that point but did get the other something small for the holidays. This year, though, was their first real holiday together completely, and so far, it was turning out nicely.
Then, three days ago, Willow had started waking up in the middle of night in a pool of sweat not from their numerous lovemaking sessions. No, she was usually screaming something before she would shoot up from the bed, and would tackle Buffy in a primal manner back to the bed. It was the third day, and Christmas was in a week. No matter how many gifts the blonde bought for her lover, she would always find something else, and the gifts that she had yet to wrap were ridiculous in number. It would definitely be an eventful holiday, especially with the others gathering again to celebrate with them, and Dawn had even planned on Adam coming again, much to Buffy's dismay, since she had promised they could share her room next time; something she was already regretting.
Kissing Willow's temple one last time, she tried to relax, and get some semblance of sleep. She almost had her book ready for editing, and it wouldn't be long before the movie started production, which was more than exciting. "Oh, Wills...I wish you would just tell me...I could help you...any way I can...I promise that whatever it is, it'll be all right." Her words were said to the sleeping redhead but she could tell that her voice had somehow soothed the girl in her arms, and she stopped sobbing.
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Groggily turning the coffeemaker on, Buffy started placing slices of wheat bread into the toaster. Pulling out the eggs and milk from the refrigerator, she laid them beside the stove, and started the burner that the pan was on already. Yawning, she scratched the back of her neck, and mixed the eggs, milk, salt, and pepper in a glass bowl before pouring the contents into the sizzling pan, giving the eggs a minute to cook before she moved them around with the spatula. Just as the toast popped out of their slots, she felt Willow wrap her arms around her from behind, and she smiled at the soft kisses that she placed on her silk-robed shoulder. She continued to move the eggs around, forming them into a scrambled mess in the pan as they cooked.
"Mmm...morning..." Buffy leaned back into the warm body surrounding her, and moved the pan from the burner, making one last motion with the spatula before placing it on a cool burner.
"Morning..." Willow kept her arms tightly around her, and kept kissing her neck, as Buffy pulled the toast from the machine, placing the slices on a plate before moving it to the counter, where several other items were sitting.
"I was making you breakfast in bed but now you've ruined it...defeats the purpose if you're not in bed anymore..." She turned around in the embrace, and gave her lover a sweet good morning kiss before pulling back, wrapping her own arms around the redhead.
"Well, I can go back to bed really quick, and feign sleep if you want..." Willow's grin was hiding all the pain behind her eyes but Buffy could see it as she gazed into her lover's green stare.
"Nah, you're here already...we'll just say I made you breakfast in the kitchen, and dub it more special than every other day that I do that. What do ya say?" Willow bit her bottom lip, and leaned in to kiss her again.
"When I get back tonight from the office, do you want to go over ideas for the honeymoon?" Buffy's eyes lit up at the several places she'd like to take her lover, and nodded vigorously before kissing her again, and pulling them to get some breakfast. Willow had to be at work in an hour, and she still had to dress. As they sat on the stools, their knees were touching, and their bodies were pushed together. The conversation was light hearted, and they giggled when a few stray eggs would fall from their forks, missing their mouths. "I still don't understand why you got the Tabasco sauce out...we're not eating anything spicy."
"I saw it on the food channel." Buffy shrugged, and Willow scrunched her eyebrows in amused confusion. "What? I used to eat salsa on my scrambled eggs when mom would make them, why should Tabasco sauce be any different? I was just giving us more options." Willow rolled her eyes in amusement before kissing Buffy again, taking her plate to rinse it off in the sink, and placing it in the dishwasher. "What time are you coming home tonight?"
"I'm not sure. Depends on what's on my plate when I get there. For all I know, I could be there until late. Darla is supposed to come see me today; she wanted to talk about something. I'm not sure what, though. She didn't tell Vi, just made the appointment." Willow washed the egg pan before moving it on the rack to dry, and placing her now empty coffee mug, and the bare toast plate in the dishwasher with the other used dishes. Buffy finished her coffee, and forked the remaining eggs in the garbage disposal, turning it on, and placing the dry toast in Bubbles' bowl for an added breakfast treat, which the eager cocker spaniel practically swallowed whole.
"Well, I should be here when you get back. I have to run the manuscript over to Robin today, and I'm supposed to drop off that article at 'Art Today' sometime, so might as well get that over with. I'm not looking forward to seeing Tim again." Willow wiped her hands on the dishcloth, and leaned over to kiss Buffy as the blonde placed her dirty dishes in the washer. Moving her way back upstairs, Willow jumped into the shower to rid herself of the sweat residue from the night before, and again found herself crying in the shower like she had the past few days, as she recalled the nightmares that had been tainting her thoughts. They were endless, and seemed and felt so real that Willow thought she was living a double life: one without Buffy, and one with her. Whenever she wasn't directly touching Buffy, it was just like the dreams again, and she feared she would wake up sobbing again.
After drying her hair briefly, she felt a brush suddenly start to stroke her locks, and looked over her shoulder to notice that her robed girlfriend was helping her. Her entire body tingled from the contact, sending goose bumps throughout her body from the sensations the gentle strokes. She heard Buffy chuckle slightly under her breath when she whimpered from the loss of contact when the blonde stopped brushing her hair. Leaning her head back, she noticed that her girlfriend seemed to be studying her intently. Curiously, she turned around from the chair, and cocked her head to the side a little to get her attention.
"Buffy? Is everything okay?" The concern edged in her voice caused the blonde to sigh deeply, as she decided that now wasn't the time to question Willow about the dreams. It would have to wait until later, when they would have time to talk about it thoroughly, and the redhead couldn't use the 'I have to get to work, or I'll be late' excuse again.
"Just hoping you have a good day at work, dear." Buffy's playful tone caused Willow to chuckle briefly before standing, and embracing her, kissing her deeply before grabbing her purse and briefcase, and heading out the door. Watching the redhead walk out the door from the top of the staircase, she smiled, thinking about how 50s suburban family she felt, and that she was the wife sending her husband off to work with a kiss. It was the 21st century, though, and things had changed tremendously, the most obvious one in their relationship being that they both were women. Again, Buffy chuckled as she made her way to grab a shower before starting her own eventful day.
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"Okay, Darla. I have no problem with that but I still don't understand why of all people, you would want to tour with Rogue Slayer. For one, you would still have to use the material from yours and Dru's albums, and the harsh lyrics aren't exactly..."
"Jazzy?" Willow sighed, and tried to look sympathetic as she nodded at the sexy blonde sitting on the couch with her. She liked Darla, and wasn't sure why. They even had a brief one-month relationship a couple years back but it never went anywhere. Basically, Darla was too dark for her, and Willow wasn't really looking for anything serious. Of course, then, neither had the blonde but the sex was still wild. All that was pre-Buffy, though, and other than Tara and Fred, she really didn't like to dwell on her past love life too often. She saw the blonde beside her sigh in defeat, and knew that the stubborn woman wouldn't give up that easily. She really wouldn't mind letting the two bands tour together but ever since the staking accident, Darla and Drusilla were no longer together. Their friendship had even dwindled, according to the blonde, and it appeared that it was better for her not being around the psychotic woman.
"Yeah, it's not jazzy. I mean, your music isn't metal like because there aren't any acts like that on the label but I'm still not sure that the two styles would mix exactly." Darla grasped Willow's hand in her own, and started rubbing her thumb across the soft flesh. For a moment, the redhead looked wide-eyed at the older blonde until she saw the sadness that seemed to be there. Once upon a time, it was the same look that usually made her compassionate, and they would find themselves naked someplace. Now, though, things were different, and Darla wasn't asking for sex, just understanding, and Willow completely understood. Darla was lonely, and needed music to keep her occupied from that loneliness.
She remembered signing the two girls, and it wasn't even two months after their first album was released that the two found themselves finding comfort together. It was at a hotel in LA after a television interview, and Willow had mingled with the other guests at a party, noticing the smoldering leers that came from the blonde, who would be talking to another group of people. The gazes became a sort of game between them, and when Willow went to catch the elevator to her hotel room, Darla pushed through the doors, and entered the box before it could take off to their floor. Just standing there, they waited for the other two guests on the machine to exit, and the peripheral stares continued. The game had continued until they had reached their conjoined rooms, as Darla pulled Willow to her in a frighteningly intense kiss, never breaking for air as they stumbled to remove the other's clothes. The entire month had been nothing but a game, and when they both just decided to stop, that was that. No questions, no explanations, plain and simple.
Now, as she looked over at the woman, she wondered where the smoldering glares had gone. This seemed to be only a mere instance of the person she knew, and she could relate. Before Buffy, and times when she thought she had lost her, Willow had been that person. Deciding that with a little improvisation, the pairing could work but it still baffled her why she wanted Rogue Slayer.
"Okay. Here's what we'll do. Instead of the whole back up band, how about I give you a small set up instead. It'll help ease the intense sounds that you guys sometimes used, and it'll blend in better. Sort of like an acoustic setup...like unplugged." Willow noticed Darla say 'thank you' with her eyes, and they just grinned slightly at each other, the unsaid being completely understood. "I just want to know one thing..."
"Yeah?" Darla's expression lightened from the intense pleading that she had been doing, and Willow decided that there was probably an interesting story behind her request.
"Why Rogue Slayer? I mean, it may sound absurd but your sounds would easily match the Nerds better." Willow was taken aback at the sight of Darla blushing. 'Darla blushes? Did I miss a memo somewhere?'
"Well, see...the thing is..." Suddenly, Willow understood, and perked up slightly at the thought.
"You like Faith!!!" Darla seemed to blush even further, and the redhead wondered where the brash, harsh woman had disappeared to; this new woman just didn't fit into the badass, hard core image that she had planted on the blonde. This woman was shy, and reminded her of Tara in some ways. 'Okay...hell has just frozen over...it's official...'
"Please don't tell her?" The pleading in her tone calmed Willow down, and she relaxed again, a fit of smiles at the thought of her ex lover, and her friend together. It was strange but their attitudes just might mesh together somehow. Where Faith was distracted, Darla was completely focused. Both girls were forward, and seemingly unafraid to show their wild streaks, giving into the dark sides of their personalities.
"I won't but...this is...when did this happen?" Willow positioned her body more comfortably on the couch, tucking her leg underneath her.
"A couple weeks ago, I ran into her at a bar. She recognized me, and we just started talking. I heard rumors but I had no idea how sexy she was." Willow smirked at the blonde, and arched an eyebrow slightly.
"Well, you're pretty dead sexy yourself." Darla chuckled deeply in that evil way that let Willow know she was planning something. "Oh no...what now? Just tell me it doesn't involve you in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform again. I don't think I could live through that one again."
"No...no schoolgirl. Hey, thanks Red." Willow looked confused at the nickname; Darla always called her by her name. It was decided that Faith had already managed to get under the woman's skin.
"Faith calls me Red."
"I know. She's pretty fond of you, actually. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was in love with you, or worshipping the ground you walk on at least, although I don't see her doing that." Willow just rolled her eyes amusedly; Darla had hit a homerun with her speculation, and didn't know the first of it.
"Well, I'll let you know when I get the promos, and the rest sent to me. I'm hoping that it'll be in before May when the tour is scheduled to begin." Both women stood up, and Darla shocked her by hugging her tightly. When they had dated, the woman was never gentle, and had a fondness for biting and sucking at her pulse points when they had sex. She was never touchy-feely. 'Okay, who are you, and what have you done with her?'
"Thanks, Red. I'm going to go catch up with Xander a few minutes. See what I can suck out of him..." Willow just smiled at her, and ushered her out the door before turning around, turning all of her gadgets off, grabbing her purse, and heading home for the night. She needed to be in Buffy's arms.
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"Honey, I'm home!" Willow looked around, and noticed that there were several books scattered on the coffee table but no blonde. Taking off her jacket, she placed it on the rack before going upstairs to their room but still no sign of her girlfriend. Starting to panic again, thinking that she was back in the world of no Buffy, the redhead tossed her shoes into the closet, laid her purse on the dresser, and started to search the house. "Buffy?" When she reached the kitchen, she heard grunts and groans coming from the basement, and again panicked at what she'd find. However, her curiosity got the better of her, and she walked down the wooden stairs until she smiled, sitting somewhere in the middle of the staircase, watching her sweaty girlfriend pound the heavy bag like she was trying to show it no mercy.
After a few concentrated, hard blows to the bag, Buffy grunted hard as she landed her final blow. She had been working on the punching bag for over an hour, working up a good workout, and releasing all the pent up anger about Willow not telling her what was wrong. She was afraid her girlfriend had stopped trusting after the whole Lilah thing but her logical side wouldn't allow her to think that, so she made a stop at Anya's bookstore before heading home from her errands. Playing with baby Jesse for a little bit, she finally came home with an overabundance of books on dreams. It was new age-y but she would do anything to help her lover.
As she leaned forward, hands on her knees, she let out the deep breaths that had worked up through her poundings. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, she heard clapping and dog whistling from the staircase. Turning around to discover the intruder's identity, she blushed as she noticed her barefooted lover. Grabbing the water bottle from the shelf, she took a long squeeze before pouring a little on her overheated face, head, and chest. Partly, she did it because she was hot but she did it more because she knew Willow liked to see her all sweaty and wet. 'Who am I to deny her a little show?' Wiping the sweat and water with a towel, she came to sit next to her girlfriend, who had moved a few steps to down.
"Hey..." Buffy leaned forward, and gave her a wet kiss, the salt from her sweat beading into their mouths.
"My, Buffy...you're all sweaty and wet...what have you been doing down here?" Willow's mock curiosity and admonishment was met with another sweaty kiss, as Buffy shook her dampened locks to get her girlfriend wet a little in the process, which caused the reaction she was going for as the redhead up the stairs, trying to escape her pursuit. Tackling her on the living room floor, she pinned her arms by her head, and straddled her legs so that she couldn't move, even though she was playfully struggling. Buffy leaned down, and kissed her with sensuous passion, letting her know how much she was missed. Willow parted her lips slightly, allowing the blonde to deepen the kiss, which she immediately did at the open invitation.
"Mmm...girl taste good..." Buffy's closed-eyed smirk was barely seen through Willow's half-lidded grin.
"What...are we cave Buffy now?" Willow opened her eyes further, and saw the blonde looking down into her own, shaking her head as she bit her lower lip to keep from laughing.
"Fire bad, tree pretty..." Buffy leaned down, and started sucking at Willow's lips again, deepening the kiss, and adjusting her body to a more comfortable position, as she continued to keep the redhead pinned beneath her. "Mmm...tingle moment..."
"Yeah...a definite tingle moment..." Buffy kissed her passionately again, as she let one of Willow's hands go as the redhead squirmed, and she threw the towel around her neck to the side, landing who knows where.
"Want to take this elsewhere?" Willow shook her head, and used her now free hand to start tugging at the tight spandex midriff shirt that adorned her lover's body. She could smell the sweat as Buffy allowed her to sit up completely, letting her other hand go as she pulled the stretched shirt over her head. Crashing their lips together again, the blonde's chest was completely exposed as she started unbuttoning her girlfriend's blouse, wanting to play equals. Once Buffy's sweats were removed, and the tape from her hands thrown to the side in a flying manner, she worked carefully on Willow's nice work slacks, ducking her head to her neck, and kissing a trail of wet kisses down to her bellybutton until she was in a position to pull the black pants completely off, letting them join the other clothes in the room...wherever they were. "Maybe I should close the curtains..." Again, Willow shook her head, excited at the risk of being seen. It heightened her sense for some reason with Fred, and she had never been able to shake it, even though she'd boxed the feelings up when finding out that her lover was uncomfortable with the idea.
Deciding that she would be okay with it, Buffy returned to kissing Willow, and the two rolled around on the floor for a while, giving each other's body carpet burn from the rugs. When they fell apart, sated for the time being, they lie there while their breathing returned to normal. Buffy was the first to recover, and wrapped her leg and arm around the redhead, as her other hand played with the sweaty, matted hair of her lover.
"You know...I love it when you do that..." Willow's body was still humming, and she couldn't respond just yet, even though her smirk was huge. 'Well, I love it when you do that thing with your back...' Her eyes rolled back into her lids again as her entire body was coming down from the high. "Come back to me, Wills..."
"I'm right here, Buffy..." Her eyes just continued rolling back, as the blonde kept stroking the side of her waist lazily.
"Well...I just wanted to let you know that I love it when you do that...did you hear me, or were you too preoccupied in your own little world there?" Buffy positioned her shining body up somewhat to look down at her pleasured girlfriend. She loved watching Willow as she came down from their lovemaking. It was one of the most amazing things to watch. 'I did that...I made her feel like that...god, I love her...'
"What would that be?" Willow still hadn't gained the use of her limbs but her eyes had stopped rolling back in her head, as the strong tingles and spasms had started to dwindle at a snail's pace.
"That thing you do when you roll your body..."
"Well, it's more about the way the bodies fit together, and our just happen to fit perfectly. I've never been able to do that properly before...it's a good feeling on both ends..." Willow let out an exceptionally deep breath, and moved her hand to brush away some stray, matted locks from Buffy's face, gazing into her eyes, saying everything with them that couldn't be expressed through any language, or other gesture. These were the perfect moments, and she knew there would be many more to come, which made her smile grow.
"I love you..."
"I know..."
"Are you pulling a 'Star Wars' again?" Willow just nodded slightly, and half grinned at her lover, who rolled her eyes amusedly. "You've been hanging out with Xander too much again."
"Well, how else am I going to see Jesse?" Willow pulled Buffy to her, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder, as she sifted her fingers through sweaty, blonde locks.
"Is that the only person you want to see? I figured you couldn't wait to see Anya again. I know how much you enjoy her company." Willow snickered under her breath briefly, and then smiled genuinely at her girlfriend, who was viewing her from her shoulder. "Do you promise not to get mad at me...?"
"What is it?" Willow's expression changed to one of concern from where they were, and tried to read to the problem in Buffy's eyes but could find nothing. She was being blocked, which made her panic a little. 'Does she not trust me anymore?'
"I was at the bookstore today, and promised Anya that we'd babysit Jesse tonight." Buffy's eyes were pleading, and she pouted for emphasis, hoping that the redhead wouldn't get angry.
"Why would I be angry at that? Of course I don't mind...she's practically our niece. What kind of aunts would we be if we didn't babysit every once in a while?" Buffy smiled at the casual way that Willow had said 'we,' as though they were already married. This was her family, and she wouldn't give them up for the world. She would do anything in her power to protect each and every one of them. These were the people that made the world worth protecting.
As if on cue, Xander walked in the door without ringing the doorbell or knocking. The two girls panicked at hearing the door open, and the young man crying out for them. They quickly grabbed their clothes before he could see them, and moved into the kitchen, trying to dress themselves somewhat. Buffy had her underwear and top on, and Willow had managed to pull her undergarments and slacks on as Xander came barreling through with the baby carrier in tow. His gaze glared towards their half clothed bodies, and his jaw dropped a little. They tried to hurriedly dress, glad that their private areas weren't completely exposed but wholly embarrassed nonetheless. As Willow managed to button her blouse up crookedly but enough to cover herself, she turned back towards the young man who was fantasizing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"Um...Xander, a little drool..." Buffy wiped her mouth, as her blush was still heavy on her face and neck, glancing over at her lover who was even worse for wear, as her improperly unbuttoned blouse was showing the crimson skin that flowed down her neck. He wiped at his mouth, and came back to reality.
"Oh, well, that is...um...with the...sorry." He shrugged, shaking his head to clear the wild thoughts. "I brought Jesse. Anya called, and said that you were going to watch her tonight for us. Thank you wouldn't begin to express it. Anya is freaking out because it's the first time that she's leaving her alone with somebody else but it'll be good for her."
"A natural mother instinct." Buffy smiled at her intelligent girlfriend, and moved over to take the carrier, and laid it on the island, uncovering the blanket from the tiny girl to show her sleeping face.
"She should wake up from her nap in about an hour or so. She fell asleep on the way over here." He laid the diaper bag from his shoulder onto the counter by the carrier. "Everything should be in there. If not, just improvise. I'm sure Will's smart girl skills will come up with something."
"Smart girls are so sexy..." Buffy smirked at her girlfriend, and Willow's blush deepened again, just as it was waning.
"Anything else?" He rubbed his palms together, nervous about leaving his baby, just like Anya was, but happy to have a chance to spend a night alone with his wife. Besides, he knew that the little girl was in safe hands. Willow was good with children, and the little time that he'd known Buffy, he could tell that she was in that category as well. He'd grown extremely fond of the blonde, and knew he would have a crush on her if it weren't for having Anya. Willow had done good for herself, and he was more than ecstatic that they made each happy...like they were made for each other in every way. "Well, I guess I'll be off then." He tried to relax his shoulders, as Willow ushered him to the door, knowing what was coming.
"Have fun tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do..." She blushed, as she realized that they had pretty much been caught moments before, and opened the door to let him out of the house.
"You have our cell phone numbers?" He turned back to her once he walked onto the porch. She nodded. "And the house number?" Again, she nodded with a smile. "And you know the number to 911 right; in case something happens?" Willow regarded him with a perplexed expression, wondering if the young man even knew what he just asked. "Okay...I can do this." He took a deep breath, and walked a few steps away from the porch before turning back around to face the redhead in the door. "What about..."
"Xander...she'll be okay. If you want, we'll even call every so often to let you know." Willow just smiled, as she half-embraced the door.
"No. There's no need. We'll be okay. We can do this. We need this...Anya and I, and I'd say we'll be busy." His smirk returned, as his fantasizing gaze turned back to his best friend. "Just like you were from the looks of things...are you sure you're up to this?"
"Positive. Now go...and don't mention this to anyone..." She resolve faced him, and he sighed, trying to take deep breaths and relax before just smirking, and heading back towards his car, leaving his baby in the care of the two capable women.
Willow moved back into the kitchen, and watched as Buffy sat there on the island stool, and just stared at Jesse, studying the sleeping baby. Wrapping her arms around her neck, she interlocked her fingers in front of the blonde, as she kissed the crown on top of her head, and went about Jesse watching herself.
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Jesse had woken up, and the two had enjoyed spending time with the little bundle of joy. She was a handful, just like her father, and liked to crawl all over the place. Buffy would get on the floor, and crawl with her. While she was sleeping, Willow and Buffy took turns taking quick showers to rid themselves of the sweat that adorned their bodies. As if Xander had timed her actions precisely, the baby woke up an hour later. Through the night, the two women just played with her, fed her, gave her a bath, and made her a fit of giggles. It was just natural instinct for both, and they would cast loving glances at the other, realizing that they would be good parents, raising a kid of their own.
Now, Willow was rocking the baby to sleep, almost succeeding, and then she noticed that Buffy was just watching her with an adoring gaze from the couch, nursing a cup of herbal tea. Sighing deeply, she decided to ask the blonde what had been on her mind. The entire night, when Jesse would calm down for a few brief moments, Buffy acted like she wanted to say something but the internal debate seemed to tell her not to, and it was left unsaid.
Willow's rocking was soothing the baby to a calm, restful sleep, and when she was finally out cold, the redhead carried her up the stairs, and placed her carefully into the crib that Xander had built to keep there at the Summers home. It was retractable, so it was easy to store in the storage closet down the hall, and the two girls had set it up in their room. A few minutes later, Buffy joined her in their darkened bedroom, and wrapped her arms around her lover, as Willow pulled a blanket over the sleeping girl. They stood there, and gazed at Jesse for a few moments, entwining their arms and hands together, and caressing the other, pushing their bodies together as far as they would go. Finally, since they were already in their pajamas from their earlier showers, the two went into the bathroom, and prepared for bed. When they were settled under the covers, they snuggled together, and Willow decided to ask Buffy about what was on her mind.
"Buffy...?" The blonde moved her head from Willow's chest to look up into the curious, concerned eyes of her lover.
"Yeah?" She positioned her body a little, so that she was lying on her stomach next to the redhead, and moved her hands to play with the auburn locks on the pillow.
"A few times tonight, it looked like you were going to say something to me but you always backed away. Is something wrong? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about something?" Buffy looked up into the pleading eyes of Willow, and took a deep breath before relenting. 'I was going to ask sooner or later. Looks like sooner...'
"Willow...these dreams you're having..." Willow tensed a little, and shifted somewhat uncomfortably. "Why won't you talk to me? It feels like you're pushing me away for some reason. I'm here. No matter how bad they are, I'm not going anywhere. You can tell me anything."
"Buffy...do we really have to talk about this right now?" Willow's expression and tone were pleading but the blonde wasn't going to give in so easily. This problem had to be fixed between them.
"We really do." It was plain and simple. She refused to let it fester, and make things worse in the long run. If these nightmares were scaring her so badly that she wouldn't talk to her about them, then she needed to help her lover understand that they were only dreams. The books from Anya's shop would help them comprehend what was going on to some degree but the major problem with Buffy was that Willow wasn't talking to her about it. "I know it makes you uncomfortable but I'm here. You can talk to me. I wish you would, so that I can help. I want to help."
"You die." There, she said it. It was out in the open. The redhead's tears were falling now, unable to control them. It was hard to relive the nightmare night after night, and she always felt alone when she woke up, thinking that the dream was real, and that Buffy was really gone. She looked over at her lover's face through blurry eyes, and saw the pooling tears from the blonde, obviously hurting because she was hurting, and her heart warmed to know that they were so connected. 'Goddess, Buffy...I love you...'
"Tell..." Buffy cleared her throat. "Tell me."
"You die. You have to save the world, and you jump off this tall tower into a ball of energy to protect Dawnie from having to, and it kills you. You die, and it feels so real...the pain, the way my heart falls with you. I just...it...oh, Buffy...I...I can't...it hurts so much. It's even worse than when Tara died, and it hurts...oh Buffy, please don't leave me. I couldn't bear losing you..." Willow clung the petite blonde to her, and there was no protest, as she felt her lover's arms wrap protectively around her as well.
"I'm here, Will. I'm alive. I'm right here. See? Feel..." Buffy brought Willow's hand to her chest, letting her feel the heart that beat only for her. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise...no matter what, I'm right here, by your side...I'm not letting you go, Willow Rosenberg. If I do, then I go with you, and I'm no longer me. I'm just hollow because you are my life. I love you so, so much." She brought her girlfriend's hand to her lips, and kissed her tenderly, conveying all her thoughts through their locked gaze, reassuring the redhead through a silent embrace, pulling her to her body.
Willow nodded, and clung to Buffy's body the rest of the night, afraid to let go, and for the first time in three days, her dreams were pleasant, and she didn't wake up in the middle of the night. Buffy just lie there in the bed, stroking her sleeping girlfriend's hair, as she slept in her arms. She watched her slow, calming breaths, and thanked the powers that be for allowing such a wonderful woman in her life.