What I Am
by sailor80
Seven
[reviews]
It was late afternoon before Riley walked with Tara back to the UCSD campus. She let him hold her hand after he reminded her they were supposed to be a couple. He talked most of the way, and she tried to listen. Tara even let Riley give her a quick kiss on the cheek before he left her in front of her dorm.
She went up to her room. There was a note taped to the door, and she pulled it off before going inside. Tara recognized the handwriting and frowned. She didn't want to read the contents, but did, and sat down heavily on the bed. She bit her lip, then got up and went into action, stuffing her backpack with a couple changes of clothes. She left within minutes and walked quickly back to Willow's house.
Faith answered the door, and smiled at Tara as she stepped back to let her in. "Hey, Blondie, back so soon?"
Tara nodded as she came in. "Hi, F-f-faith." She was intimidated by Faith's reputation; and wondered why this person seemed so little like the one Willow described. "Wh-where's W-w-w-willow?"
"Upstairs with B," Faith answered as she closed the door. "Xander left right after you did."
"Oh."
"Something wrong?"
"No," Tara answered, frowning.
"You're a lousy liar, Blondie."
"M-my name's Tara."
Faith grinned. "I know." She flopped on the sofa and looked Tara up and down.
Tara dropped her backpack by the door and looked toward the stairs.
"I wouldn't go up there right now," Faith told her.
"Oh?"
"They're a little busy." Faith grinned again. "C'mon and watch TV with me. B'll get hungry and they'll be down soon."
Tara sat in one of the chairs, and Faith turned the TV on again. She spun through the channels until she hit the Cartoon Network. "Bugs Bunny, cool." Faith looked at Tara. "Okay with you?"
Tara nodded, and Faith turned her attention back to the TV for a few minutes. Tara studied her, until Faith looked at her.
"Somethin' crawlin' on me?"
"Wh-wha-what? No." Tara looked away.
Faith rolled her eyes and lowered the volume of the cartoon. "So why're you starin' at me?"
"Did you really ki-ki-kill someone?"
"Yeah," Faith answered.
"Did you mean to?" Tara asked.
Surprise washed over Faith's face. "No."
Tara wondered again how much Willow had told her was true. The girl in front of her was nothing like the one Willow described, except for the bravado. Faith held her gaze, looking for something that she apparently found.
"You're not like them," Faith said.
"Like who?"
"Whoever you're running from. And them." Faith jabbed one finger toward the stairs. "Self-righteous and uptight, for starters."
"I'm not r-running," Tara protested.
"Uh huh. You rushed back here without GI Joe because you couldn't wait to see me again," Faith answered sarcastically.
"Y-y-yes. A-a-a-and n-n-no."
"Which is it?" Faith rolled off the couch and went to Tara's chair. She stared down at Tara.
Tara stared back for a few seconds, then turned away.
"Look at me," Faith demanded. When Tara did, Faith asked, "Why did you come back?"
"To h-hi-hi-hide."
"From what?" Faith's tone was gentler, and she lowered herself to Tara's eye level.
"My family," Tara whispered.
********
Buffy and Willow lay face to face on Willow's bed. They shared a pillow, and talked quietly. Buffy described for Willow all that had happened. While she described the regular demons and constructs she had seen and fought alone, as well as with Faith, Buffy's eyes were focused on the wall over Willow's shoulder. Willow was focused on her. She stroked Buffy's hair while the Slayer talked and talked and talked, and did her best not to cry or interrupt. When Buffy finished, Willow pulled her close and held her tightly. Buffy wrapped herself around Willow. "I missed you so much," she said, her voice showing emotion for the first time.
Willow answered, "I was so worried."
"No worries, Will." Buffy lifted her head to look Willow in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Good," Willow murmured, and kissed Buffy briefly. "What do we do about Faith?"
"I don't know," Buffy said. "She woke up different. She helped me a lot, Will, and she was there longer. Buffy's eyes wandered from Willow's again. "We should try Giles again."
"Xander's on his way over there now."
"Good." Buffy smiled at her girlfriend. "Tara came back. Wonder why?"
Willow shrugged. "Maybe she forgot something."
"Whatever." Buffy yawned. "I'm still really tired."
"No patrol for you tonight," Willow said.
"We'll see," Buffy answered. "Don't let me sleep too long."
Willow was content for a while to watch Buffy sleep. Then her brain kicked in and she began to analyze what had happened. Before long, the mental exertion made her fidgety, and she left their bed rather than risk waking her girlfriend.
"Hey, Red," Faith said without looking away from the television.
"Faith. Hi, Tara, what's up?"
"M-m-m-my f-family's in t-t-t-t-town for m-m-m-my b-b-b-birthday."
"Oh." Willow tried to recall what Tara had said about her family, and realized she hadn't said anything. From the anxiety level indicated by Tara's stutter, she wasn't happy to see them.
"C-c-can I s-s-stay here until they l-l-leave?"
"Sure. No problem. Anything you need from your room?"
Tara shook her head. "Th-thanks."
The door opened and Faith jumped up. She relaxed when she saw Xander, but tensed again when Giles came in behind him.
"Faith," Giles greeted her warily. "How are you?"
"Five by five, G-man."
Giles nodded. "Where's Buffy?" he asked.
"Here," she answered from the stairs.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said, reaching Willow's side. Buffy put her arm around Willow' waist.
"I haven't been able to reach the Council, but I see it wasn't necessary."
"Fine with me," Faith, Buffy, and Willow said at the same time.
Xander came in from the dining room with two chairs. While he and Giles placed them and sat, Buffy and Willow forced Faith to the end of the sofa. Once seated, Giles looked around. Only then did he notice Tara. "Excuse me, I don't recognize you."
Willow popped up for a second, but didn't go anywhere because Buffy tethered her by holding her hand. "Rupert Giles, Tara Maclay. Tara, this is Giles. He's Buffy's Watcher. Giles, Tara's a witch. Her mother was, and her grandmother is, too."
They exchanged nice to meet yous, and everyone sat silently for a moment. Giles removed his glasses and nodded first at Faith. "Tell me how you came to be here."
"I woke up in the hospital," she started, and glared for a moment at Buffy. The air became briefly charged, until Faith looked away. "It was easy to walk away from there. I went back to my old place to get my gear, and figure out what to do. Next thing I know, everybody's voice is gone, and these really ugly guys are gliding around. What was that about?"
"Later," Buffy said. "Keep going."
Faith rolled her eyes at the tone, but did as Buffy said. "I was laying low until I could get into the Mayor's office and get something he left for me. I got bored and went out patrolling one night." She looked at Buffy again. "You're slacking off, B. I staked like, a dozen vampires in the first cemetery. I got three more in the next, and wham, I go down. It was the worst feeling ever, getting hit with that stun gun they use. I couldn't move or anything. Next thing I know, I wake up in a white box and I'm a lab rat. They did all kinds of tests." Faith shuddered. "Then B's there, too, and they ratcheted up the tests. Made 'em harder. More demons. Bionic demons. Man, that place was demon central. Way more demons in there than you'd think a town this small could have."
"Giles, there were dozens of cells and most of them had more than one demon in them. Plus all the soldiers," Buffy said. "That place is huge."
Giles nodded at Buffy and turned to Faith. "Continue, please."
"Red and Blondie and the boys busted us out. I woke up here, and I'll be going as soon as I can."
"Going where?"
"Away from here," Faith answered defiantly. "What do you care as long as I stay outta your hair?"
"You have a destiny," Giles began.
"All it ever brought me is misery. Me and B are gonna get even all, and them I'm leavin'. Period." Faith looked at Buffy for confirmation. "Right?"
Buffy agreed with a nod and, "Yeah."
"I can see your mind is made up." Giles polished his glasses furiously.
"Damn straight." Faith slouched back into the sofa, then sat forward again. "I'm not doin' research, either," she announced before throwing herself back into the cushions.
"Fine," Giles said. He carefully folded his handkerchief and put it away. He looked at Buffy. "What happened to you?
"I'm still not sure," Buffy answered. "I was going to talk to Professor Walsh, and her back was to me. When she turned around, she sprayed something in my face. They kept pumping all kinds of stuff into us after that."
Giles waited for Buffy to continue, but she didn't. "Very well, then," he said. "I suggest you both stay indoors tonight, and we will formulate a plan tomorrow, when everyone is rested." Giles stood up. The others looked at him, watching silently as he left.
After the door closed, Willow asked, "Is it just me, or is Giles acting weird?"
"Weird for Giles," Xander answered. He looked over his shoulder at the mantel clock. "I gotta go, too, or I'll be late for work. See you later."
Faith leaned forward off the couch and grabbed the TV remote. She turned the set on, and was happy to see Scooby-Doo was on. Willow and Buffy left the room, and Faith stretched out on the couch. Tara stayed in the chair, looking toward the set but not seeing it, as she puzzled over all she had just seen.