What I Am
by sailor80
23
[reviews]
During the next week, they led lives as close to normal as they got. They left each morning at the same time, and returned home in the late afternoon to homework and dinner, followed by research or patrolling. Willow chatted with Riley on the computer, and between that and the deciphered disks became more worried about Adam's absence.
Riley's last message spooked Willow into calling an emergency Scooby meeting. She phoned Giles, who picked up Xander and drove from cemetery to cemetery until he met up with Faith and Buffy.
"The Initiative is being locked down as we speak," Willow reported. "Something bad is going on inside."
Faith and Buffy tensed up, but let Willow continue.
"Riley thinks Adam is taking them. Soldiers and demons and Dr. Walsh and who knows what. Or why. We can't let him do whatever he's planning."
"Will, we haven't been able to stop him so far," Buffy said.
"We've been working on that," Giles said, and drew both Slayers' attention. He reached down into his bag and put the item he removed on the table.
Everyone but Giles stared at it, wondering silently what was next. After a long pause, Faith said, "If that's all we got to hit him with, we're screwed."
Giles ignored her. "It's part of a ritual," he said. "To gather the power of the First Slayer's attributes and concentrate it in the Slayer."
"Which one?" Xander asked.
"I believe it is Buffy." Giles said in his measured tones. "But you both must prepare."
"Figures," Faith said softly. Tara, hearing the bitterness in Faith's voice, reached between their chairs and took Faith's hand.
"So what do we do?" Willow asked, and Giles explained.
When Giles finished, Xander said, "That's the third craziest plan I've ever heard, but the first two worked. Count me in."
"Me, too," Willow said, and they continued around the table until each assented.
"Right then. You need to prepare," Giles said. He pushed photocopied instructions to Willow and Tara, then replaced the gourd into its leather satchel. "We'll meet back here tomorrow afternoon."
None of the women looked up from their reading as Giles and Xander let themselves out.
"He's kidding, right?" Faith asked when she completed the first page.
"Giles never kids," Buffy answered with barely suppressed mirth. "But you gotta admit, the whole magic gourd thing is freaky, even for us."
"Says the girl who blew up the high school on graduation day," Willow said.
Tara looked up at that. "I'm sorry, I thought you said Buffy blew up the high school."
"Willow helped," Buffy said defensively, while Willow answered Tara with, "She did."
"It was epic," Faith added.
"Okay," Tara said slowly, and turned to the next page. Faith moved her chair closer so they could read together.
"Do I have to read this stuff?" Buffy complained.
"Yes," Willow told her firmly, and after that, the only sound was from the turning of pages.
It was late before they finished the tasks on Giles' list. Meditations, chants, more meditations, and finally, ritual baths. They were all clean and tired when they climbed into their beds. Willow and Buffy laid forehead to forehead, sharing endearments and the occasional smooch, for a few minutes before moving into their regular sleeping positions.
On the other side of the bathroom, things were different. Faith was restless, and didn't want to be calmed. She sat crosslegged on the bed, with Tara's hand on her knee, and talked. Despite her efforts to stay awake, Tara drifted into sleep. Faith watched her, and kept the rest of her secrets for another night.
Giles and Xander returned late the next afternoon. Giles' bag was bulging, and the gourd peeked out the top. The women were ready when they arrived. Despite Giles' instruction that they wouldn't need weapons, both Faith and Buffy had tucked a few away in their outfits. Willow was a ball of nervous energy, and she babbled to herself nearly non-stop.
Giles' car wasn't large enough to hold all of them so they set out on foot toward the UCSD campus. They hoped to find the entrance they used to escape the Initiative, but couldn't locate it.
"Guess we're going through the front door, then," Buffy said, and they went around to Riley's dorm. Although it looked like a fraternity house, there was no activity around or inside the building. The front door was open, and they let themselves in quietly.
They found the elevator quickly, and Buffy and Faith opened the doors. They waited nervously while the others lowered themselves to the bottom of the shaft, and followed quickly.
When they pulled open the doors below, they were met by a dozen very large men with rifles. Deciding that living to tell the story was more important, they let themselves be taken to the Initiative's new commander.
He was regular Army, and dismissed their claims that the Initiative was being manipulated by something its' scientists created. Then the lights went out. That stopped his tirade, and he ordered a very nervous private to guard the group before stepping out to see what the ruckus was.
They watched over the private's shoulder as the emergency generators brought the cameras back on line. Unlike the private, the Scoobies knew what to expect, and were more impatient to leave than anything else.
"Hey," Faith said. When the private turned to face her, she punched him once. He was thrown from his chair onto the floor, unconscious. Faith looked around the group. To Buffy, she said, "Time to party."
Buffy nodded. "Will, you, Tara and Giles stay between Faith and I. Xander, get his weapon and cover the rear."
When she was satisfied that everyone was in position, they left the small communications room and stepped into hell that the Initiative had become. It was a sickening cross between Bosch and Goya. Demons fought each other and the soldiers, who were repulsed each time they tried to mount an organized response.
Willow kept her head down and stayed as close behind Buffy as she could. Tara, who had never seen anything like it before, scurried along behind, chanting prayers under her breath. Xander stepped back into his soldier persona and pushed Giles ahead of him. Faith enjoyed the carnage and contributed to the body count at every opportunity.
The door to 314 was unlocked, and once in, everyone went to work. Faith barricaded the door while Buffy uncovered the tunnel entrance to Adam's lair. Tara and Willow drew the sacred circle on the floor with colored sand. Giles unpacked things from his bag, and Xander helped Faith.
Once everyone was inside the sacred circle, the Slayers took off. They knew they had a limited amount of time to find Adam before the spell took effect. Giles had been vague about the time parameters, and neither Tara or Willow could tell them any more.
As they went further into the tunnel, the Slayers ran across increasing numbers of what could most charitably be described as Adam's early experiments. Faith wasted no time in small talk or battering a defeated foe. Buffy, too, forsook her usual punning.
When they reached Adam, he seemed surprised to see both of them. Like boxers in the first round, they felt out each others' styles. Buffy and Faith, even in a tag-team, were no closer to winning than they had been in the past, but kept attacking.
That all changed in one moment. Buffy and Faith, standing shoulder to shoulder, became one being. When Adam's arm morphed into a machine gun, She waved her hand, and bullets melted into a blue shimmer.
"Interesting," Adam commented, and changed to a small missile launcher. He fired, expecting, at the least, that whatever was before him would duck for cover. Instead, She waved her hand again, and the missile turned into three white doves.
For a moment, Adam was confused by the unexpected change of events. Fear flickered across his features before he launched himself at the glow the Slayers had become. She easily countered each of his moves, then launched an attack so graceful it could have been dance. At its end, Adam stood unsteadily, confused at his inability to counter Her moves.
She thrust her hand into his chest, just to the left of the surgical staples holding Adam's pectoral muscles to his sternum. He looked down at the wrist protruding from his body, then looked up as he comprehended what was happening. She removed Her hand, covered in gore. As She opened Her palm to examine the small bit of metal She had extracted, Adam's body collapsed.
After a cursory look, She closed Her fist tightly and destroyed the uranium core that had powered Adam. As the molecules disbursed into the atmosphere, the Slayers fell apart. The glow that had held them together faded, and a few moments later, they regained their senses.
Buffy and Faith sat up and looked at each other. As usual, Faith spoke first. "That was different."
"Uh huh," Buffy agreed. She got to her feet and made a cursory examination of their surroundings before her thoughts turned to Willow. She offered a hand to Faith, and pulled Faith to her feet, then toward the door.
Making their way back the way they had come was easier than their first trip. The trail of carnage decreased the closer they got to the small room where they had left their friends.
They found them sitting in a line against the only undamaged wall. Xander had the automatic rifle aimed at them, but put it down when he recognized them. Buffy ignored everyone and hurried to kneel in front of Willow. "You all right?" she asked anxiously.
Willow nodded. "You?" she asked.
"Yeah," Buffy answered. She cupped Willow's face in her hands and kissed her gently. "Whatever you did, it worked," she told her.
"Wonderful!" Giles exclaimed. "You will have to explain how it worked."
Both Slayers ignored him. Faith held her hand out to Tara, who took it and tugged Faith down in front of her. They looked at each other without saying anything. Tara's free hand brushed gently across a small cut on the outside edge of Faith's eyebrow, sealing it as her fingertips went. That same hand went through Faith's hair to the back of her neck, and pulled Faith toward her. Faith went willingly into their kiss.
After they separated, Xander cleared his throat and got to his feet. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm ready to get out of here."
Giles was next on his feet, then Faith and Tara, Buffy, and finally, Willow. Faith easily unblocked the door, and opened it cautiously. The silence made them all as uneasy as the earlier bedlam had, and they exited the Initiative in the same order they had initially set out for 314. This trip was slower, as they picked their way through corpses and piles of ash under the yellow light of the dying emergency system. They encountered nothing alive, and didn't talk, except for warnings, until they were safely outside.
Their walk back to Buffy's was quiet, too. Except for the Slayers, they were drained from the spell, and Buffy and Faith were trying to make sense of its effect on them. By the time they reached Revello Drive, the realization that they had won had sunk in and had them all excited. Conversations began in bits and pieces, and except for Buffy and Willow, they arrayed themselves in front of the television for a movie marathon.
Upstairs, Willow first invoked the silence spell. Then, she and Buffy stripped and headed to the shower. They didn't talk much, and didn't linger in the shower. Dripping, they went into their room and closed the bathroom door before beginning to dry each other. While Willow toweled her off, Buffy said, "I still feel Her. You."
Willow nodded. She was both tired and exhilarated. As she touched Buffy, exhilarated was winning. She didn't ask any questions. Buffy would tell her everything in her own time. Now, what was important was that they were safe and clean and headed for their bed.
As if reading her mind, Buffy scooped Willow up and walked to the bed. She laid Willow down gently, and moved on top of her. Willow sighed in pleasure and relief, and they began the ritual that bound them more tightly than any other.
Downstairs, Giles and Xander fell asleep within 10 minutes of the movie starting. Faith looked across Tara at them and shook her head. "Let's go upstairs and get comfortable," Faith suggested.
Tara, whose mind was full of questions, agreed, and after turning off the TV and lights, climbed the stairs ahead of Faith. She appreciated that Willow used the silencing spell. It was too difficult and uncomfortable to lie in bed with Faith while listening to their friends.
They changed into nightshirts and took their usual position in bed, with Faith spooned against Tara's back. Faith inhaled the familiar scent of Tara's hair and almost immediately fell into deep sleep. A few moments later, Tara followed.
Their dreams were dark and disturbing. Faith relived each moment of the horror that Kakistos had inflicted on her, while Tara's mind dredged up the hours she had spent in punishment in a small, dark closet. They unconsciously pulled away from each other, losing in the process the one thing that could have stopped their nightmares.
Downstairs, Xander found himself trapped in his parents' basement, between some unknown terror that scratched at the door and the dead-end jobs that he had worked. Giles' dreams were worse. He saw a bleak future of funerals for each of his young charges, and the post-apocalyptic nightmare that followed when no one was left to prevent demons from ending the human world.
Even Joyce's dreams were uneasy, but across the hall, Buffy and Willow, who had expended what little energy they had left on each other, slept peacefully. For the first time in too long, Buffy's rest was undisturbed. Beside her, Willow slept motionless.
In the morning, Faith ran off her restlessness. She was determined not to slide back into old hablts, and expended her nervous energy in a dawn run through Sunnydale. She was back before Tara woke up to find the note Faith left her. Faith crumpled it up and threw it into the trashcan before heading for the shower.
Downstairs, Giles and Xander slept on while Joyce came downstairs and started coffee and tea. Faith, barefoot and with wet hair, joined her soon after. Eventually, everyone wandered into the kitchen, but they were far less animated than usual. Joyce wrote it off to exhaustion. For weeks, she had listened to them strategize, and she figured they were tired from the fight.
Buffy and Willow were last to come downstairs. Unlike the others, they looked rested. Joyce noticed, but kept it to herself. Before long, Giles and Xander left, and the girls slipped into their regular weekend routine of cleaning and studying. Finals loomed as large and menacing as any apocalypse, and they had taken hours of study time to deal with Adam.
The last day of finals was the worst for Willow. She got up that morning feeling ill, and wrote it off to something she'd eaten the night before. The nausea made it difficult to concentrate on the exam, and when she finished the test, Willow hurried to give it to the proctor before racing to the nearest women's room. If there had been anything in her stomach, she would have brought it up. After a few dry heaves, the nausea subsided, and she was able to get up off her knees, and spent nearly 10 minutes sitting on the toilet to recover.
When she felt a little better, Willow went to wait for Buffy on the steps of the library. She dozed a little while she waited, but was awake to see Buffy lope toward her. She got to her feet and met Buffy at the base of the steps.
Buffy's demeanor changed as soon as she saw Willow. "You look terrible, Will. Do you feel all right?"
Willow smiled weakly. "Not really."
"Then we'll just go home."
"We were going to the beach," Willow protested feebly.
Buffy shook her head. "The beach will be there all summer. You need to go home and take it easy." Then she grinned. "I told you all that studying would make you sick," she teased.
"Ha ha," Willow answered. "We both know all that studying will get me straight A's."
"We'll see," Buffy said. She tugged on Willow's hand to get them started on the walk home.
They spent the afternoon lounging in the back yard. Buffy laid in the sun, while Willow sat in the shade and read. A portable radio played softly, and occasionally, Willow would hear Buffy hum along.
Tara joined them in mid-afternoon. She sat in the shade near Willow, and they talked quietly about their exams for a few minutes before Tara, too, disappeared into a book. The afternoon passed so quickly that Faith and Joyce's arrival startled them, and everyone but Willow prepared for dinner. She excused herself to Buffy and went upstairs to lie down, conscious of the four sets of eyes that followed her up the stairs.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to post encouraging words. They are greatly appreciated. And before you take a big freak, I'm working on season five. It's just going to be a little slower because real life keeps interfering. Thanks for reading!