Never
by Red
[reviews]
[Joss' people, just playing here.]
Giles sighed, removing his glasses and wiping them on his shirt as Willow ran up the stairs after Buffy. He knew what was about to happen. He had seen the look in his Slayer's eyes. The look that haunted his dreams many nights. The look he could do nothing about. Returning his eyewear to his face he thanked God for Willow.
"Buffy?"
The blonde on the other side of the bathroom door remained silent.
"Buffy? You had better not be doing what I think you're doing!"
Willow's voice was firm and serous, a mixture of anger and concern. To anyone who knew the shy hacker, it would appear humorous. Hands on her hip; glaring at the locked door, ordering the chosen one to come out 'right this minute.'
Yes, a definite amusement factor. But to anyone who 'knew' the shy hacker, it was anything but. She had a job to do; a job that she took very serious. A job she did because she loved the blond behind the locked door.
"You're only making it worse, Slayer" she stated. "And if I have to come in there, you know you so don't want that."
Her voice steady, calm, the promise of an even angrier Willow sat in the air like a bright, flashing neon sign. The kind that you know isn't going away. A few seconds passed and the door opened. Willow raised a brow at her friend and Buffy handed over the razor blade.
"Let me see." Willow ordered, praying inside that the damage wasn't too bad.
Buffy extended her left arm to reveal several cuts on her inner forearm. Although they were not deep, Willow felt her stomach turn. It killed her to see Buffy like this.
"I'm sorry, Will." Buffy softly said.
At the sound of the slayers voice, anger returned to the front line and Willow pushed the sickness in her stomach aside. Without saying a word, she grabbed Buffy by the ear and dragged her into the bedroom. Knowing what was about to happen, Buffy began apologizing.
"Will, I am so sorry. I just had a really bad night; really bad. I shouldn't have done it. I know. I should have come to you, but—"
"But? Oh yes, Buffy, butt, as in yours, is about to be set on fire!"
The redhead shoved her onto the bed, face down. Buffy knew she was in for it, bad, and that talking would do no good. Still she tried.
"Will, please." She begged, hearing the drawer open.
"Be gone."
The razor blade disappeared from Willow's hand just as others before. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Willow wondered if there wasn't some razor dimension somewhere, created by good witches who had self abusive girlfriends to deal with.
"I promise," Buffy's pleas continued. "I wasn't going to do anymore. I swear."
"Doesn't matter, Buff and you know it." Willow replied, stopping over to the bed. "Now are you going to be a good girl or do I have to get the chains?"
Buffy swallowed hard. If Willow had to use the chains, she knew she'd be there for a good hour, at least.
"No chains, Will. I will be good."
Willow sighed in relief. She hated using the chains.
"Alright then, you know what to do."
With that said Willow raised her arm and brought the paddle down hard on Buffy's backside.
Giles sipped his tea, the sounds of his slayer being punished echoing throughout the house. Thankfully, Dawn was staying at Janice's house. He didn't like the girl to see her sister like this. Although he had to admit, knowing that Willow could handle Buffy had definitely had a positive effect on the younger Summers.
She witnessed the redhead giving the blond a sound spanking after catching her pressing a hot pan to her thigh. Willow had flipped her over her lap and proceeded to hand spank the slayer to tears.
He had to smile, remembering how Dawn had made a note to herself never get on Willow's bad side. And she hadn't, as of yet.
Willow. As he thought about the past years, he shook his head. How things had changed. Tara was dead. A sad fact that he knew none of them would ever fully recover from. Willow had been so destroyed she had nearly destroyed them all. Xander and Anya were no longer together. He had left her at the alter. Thankfully they were still friends, despite the fact that the ex-demon was now involved with Spike.
Spike, with a soul.
The blond vampire had reclaimed his soul for Buffy. He loved her with everything he had, everything he was. He loved her enough to fight for his soul. But it was to no avail. Buffy could never love him the way he loved her.
Oh, she loved him. Loved him like an old, treasured friend. Deep inside, the vamp knew he could accept that, because he knew who she truly loved. Willow.
He saw it in her eyes. He saw before she did. Before, any of them did. And once they finally stopped with the stupid and admitted their feelings to each other, he felt nothing but genuine happiness for them. And then, one night at the Bronze and more than a bit drunk, he and the demon girl had decided to be orgasm buddies. That's what she had called it. Not in love, but a mutual caring.
Giles had to chuckle aloud as he remembered Anya's announcement. His chuckles turned into pride, as he remembered the very adult way that Xander had reacted.
{"Are you happy, An?"
"As happy as I can be."
"All I want is for you to be happy."}
Giles was filled with pride as he thought about the boy he considered a son. He had grown into a fine man and somewhere inside Giles liked to think he had a little something to do with it.
He was startled out of his thoughts, by a crying Buffy. It broke his heart to hear her tears, but he knew it was for her own good. Willow was doing what needed to be done. What he could never do.
"I'll never hurt myself again." Buffy sobbed.
"I'm not convinced." Willow said, cracking the wood down on her now, just panty clad, bottom.
"I promise, Will, I swear!"
Willow continued to paddle her slayer, despite Buffy's protests of future good behavior. She knew her girlfriend was sorry and that she meant every word she said. But she also knew Buffy, knew how the addiction held onto her. If it took a lifetime, she wouldn't give in. She wouldn't let the woman she loved hurt herself. Not while there was a breath in her.
"Will, please Will, stop, please!"
Willow glanced down at Buffy's bottom. Even through the pink cotton, she could see how red it was. A part of her felt guilty, guilty for hurting her, guilty for using magic for strength. But when she thought about her in the bathroom, slicing at that beautiful skin.....
"Ow! Gosh, Will, please! OWW!" Buffy cried, as the paddle slammed down again.
She heard the crack and saw the wood split in half. Turning back to Buffy, she dropped the other half and hurried over to her side.
"I'm sorry, sorry so sorry."
The slayer wept openly, holding nothing back. Willow eased her carefully into her lap, cradling her head.
"It's ok, Buffy, it's over now," she said, stroking her hair.
"I am sorry, Will, I am."
"I know you are, baby, I know, me too."
"No, you have nothing to be sorry for."
"I hate doing this to you, Buffy. I really do. But I won't stand by and watch you hurt yourself. I can't."
"I know. Just don't give up on me, please."
Willow hugged her tight. "Never. Never."
They sat quietly for a few minutes, Buffy crying, Willow trying not to. This is how it was, after the punishing, the holding. Willow hated having to reduce her girlfriend to tears. But she hated even more what her Buffy did to herself. She hoped and prayed that these sessions were helping the slayer. That the day would come when they would no longer be necessary.
"Will?"
Buffy's voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked down at the beautiful blond in front of her.
"Yes, Buffy?"
"I think Xander's going to have to make you another paddle." Willow smiled.
"I'll do a super, break proof spell on it."
It was Buffy's turn to smile.
"I love you, Will."
"I love you, Buffy."
"Thank you for not giving up on me."
"Never."