After the First
by Red
[reviews]
After the First
Red
Joss' folk.
B/W, T/D
PG
Summary: My version of what happened after...and before.
+++++
Um, k, Willow here.
Guess ya kinda figured that much out...it is my laptop. Not that I'm the only one who uses it, cause Dawnie does, Tara too, sometimes...Buffy tried...um, we don't talk about that.
Things here in London are nice.
Buffy and Faith are doing wonders with the new girls. And Dawnie is becomming quite the astute little Watcher. She's been so the great help to Giles...keeping things in the office running while he finds new Watchers. There's a job that seems fun but isn't. Actually, it doesn't seem fun.
We beat the First...we lost some girls in the process, but we won. That's what matters, right? Winning? That's what they say, but any life loss shoots that theory straight to the Hellmouth. We lost Spike, too...but, um, he popped up in L.A. in Angel's office like, a few days later...still trying to figure that one completely.
After we kicked First bum...sorry, living in England now...we met Angel and his gang, Spike included, in Cleveland and took care of that Hellmouth...yay us! That was 2 months ago. Two long months ago.
Xander and Anya are in L.A. now, helping Angel and said gang. They got married last year...beautiful yet somewhat unique ceremony. They took Andrew with them, to L.A. Spike and some of the girls are currently in New York...Amanda, Kennedy, Rona, Melanie, Pyper...some really icky demon living in the sewers. The rest of us, we're here in England. New slayers keep arriving, keeping us busy.
Well, keeping Buffy, Faith, Tara and Giles busy. I don't actually do a whole lot these days. Not that I don't want to...I so want to. It's just hard...I kinda got hurt in the big Cleveland closing. Had to do some serious magicks and the head evil there sorta used them against me...drained me good and thoroughly. Giles said I'll get them back, it will just take some time...cause I was hurt so bad physically. I can't remember how many broken bones they counted, but last week was the first time I've walked since then. And it was using the crutches...with Buffy right there by my side, of course. I'm not allowed to do anything without her, she's so worried about me.
We're together now, Buffy and I...together, as in, a couple. Yeah, I know, still kinda surprised myself...then again, I've always loved her, so in a way, not so much.
Wanna know how it came about? It was right after the big dancing demon hit Sunnydale...he made us sing all our secrets...Buffy sang about being pulled from heaven...yeah, she was in heaven...not some hell dimension, heaven. And I pulled her out...took it away from her. That's when it started...my spiral into the badness. The guilt was so strong, I lost it. Literally, I started abusing the magicks, hurting myself...not eating, not sleeping...Tara saw it first and warned the others...warned Buffy. They tried the whole, intervention thing, but that only made me worse. I hated myself for hurting the person I loved more than anything...and I wanted to be punished. So I punished myself as bad as I could.
Tara saw that, too...I think she always knew that I loved Buffy...even before me. So when she and Buffy found me that night, in the alley, having magicks withdrawl in the car I had crashed...broken arm, busted open head...it was Buffy who moved into the bedroom and Tara who moved out. It was Buffy who took care of me...staying with me 24/7, cleaning me up, holding my spasming body, soothing me through the tears, the whimpers. Oh, everyone helped, the whole family...Xander, Giles, Dawnie, Tara and yes, even Anya, who was surprisingly supportive. Gosh, Spike helped, too...in his own, special way...he beat the hell outta Rack, my magick dealer, telling him if he ever gave me anything again, he'd kill him.
But Buffy was the one who never took a break...who saw me at my very worst, who heard every cry, every plea for just one little hit of magick...Buffy who took all the abuse that spewed during those times. It was Buffy, who was ready to take me out that day...the zoo, my favorite place...Buffy, on that day, who refused to let me waste away in the room anymore...Buffy, who flipped me over her lap and spanked me until I promised I wouldn't give up. Buffy, who afterwards, looked me in the eye and told me she loved me, too.
The zoo came the next day...that day, she showed me just how much she loved me...all day and all night.
We still have bad days...I still have them. But with the help of my family, I learned to control my power...Giles and the coven here where he and Buffy brought me last summer did wonders with me.
And it's Buffy who keeps me in line...keeps me from giving up...keeps me over her lap so I don't fall back into the bad. My experience in Cleveland left me with a brand new gift...I'm now empathic...I can feel others pain sometimes...feel in a serious way. That leads to badness sometimes...but Buffy is always there to catch me.
And Tara...beautiful, wonderful Tara found happiness again...in a place that threw us a bit. Tara is with Dawnie now. They were always close, but with everything that happened, well, that made them even closer. Everyone was kinda worried about me, but Dawnie, she was also worried about Tara and, well, they kinda fell in love. Dawnie turns 18 next week and I'm pretty sure their relationship will be consummated upon aging. As crazy as Tara is about her, she wouldn't dream of taking their relationship to that level until then. Not that Dawnie didn't try like the dickens to push her.
You're probably wondering how Buffy feels about this. She's way of the happy. She loves her sister and she loves Tara like a sister, so what more could she want than for both of them to be happy? And Tara makes Dawnie happy and Dawnie makes Tara happy so, well, do the math.
Well, that's it...I feel bad for Faith and Giles, cause, well, we have each other...Buffy and I, Dawnie and Tara, but they are kinda, um, well, they don't have anyone. But Dawnie and I are working on fixing that...sh, don't tell Tara and Buffy.