Loving Willow
by Rin
14
[reviews]
Part XIV:
"Buffy, I'm nervous."
"That's understandable, Will. Why are you nervous, though?"
"There's history behind this dress. When Faith and I were...well, we...in the..." Willow and Buffy were in Buffy's room, preparing for prom. They had their dresses on, and were finally putting the final touches to their bodies by decking themselves in sparkly jewelry.
"Well, huh? Wanna vague that up a little more?"
"Well...we kinda, ya know...in the dressing room..." Willow bugged her eyes out, and gave a shy smile to her best friend. Buffy simply nodded, and turned away so that Willow wouldn't see the pain in her eyes. The spell had been broken, and memories and reality were returned to the four involved. Faith and Willow had a long talk about what had happened between them, and decided to try to stay friends, agreeing that it was pleasurable, just not right. They still talked on occasion but it was always awkward, since the majority of the time they spent together during that week and a half was spent doing nothing but having sex, and sweet-talking one another. There wasn't much bonding at all. Willow still blushed around Faith, especially when she remembered some of their sexcapades. Her guilt had racked her brain, and Fred was loving, caring, and helping her lose the guilt slowly, even though they both finally agreed that it would take time. Angel only called from LA, telling Giles that he had started a detective service for the supernatural crimes with the aid of another demon that had premonitions.
However, with all the things that were returning to normal, one thing stayed the same. Buffy found herself still pining for Willow. Only now, it wasn't some sick obsession to mark her but rather, she wanted to merely love the girl. Seeing her best friend with Fred, the slayer could tell that Will was happy, and that warmed Buffy's heart, no matter how much she wished that it was her that made her Willow happy. She had to pretend that there was nothing there but it killed her inside. Fred made her extremely jealous, always reminding her of the one thing that she wanted but could never have, and Buffy's mood swings would go into overdrive whenever the slim brunette was mentioned. At first, she tried to chock it up to bleed over from the spell but whenever she would be alone with Willow, she found herself back into old habits of wanting to kiss her, or touch her a little bit longer than usual, just be near the girl so she could relish the closeness. Only now, she had complete control over her actions, and she without the acceptable excuse that she was under a spell, she had to face up to her own demons, and finally accept that yes, she was completely in love with Willow Rosenberg.
"Will, can I ask you something?" Willow turned around as started placing a diamond earring into her left ear. She noticed that Buffy's face was tortured, and had noticed since the crystal was destroyed. She wished she could take away her pain somehow, get her to talk to her but she knew not to push the slayer.
"Of course, you can ask me anything. What's up, Buff?" She finished putting her earrings on, and moved to her bag on Buffy's bed. She pulled out her shoes, and dropped them on the floor for when they left. Fred was supposed to meet them at the Summers residence before they went over to the Burkles for dinner. Faith had agreed, again, to be Buffy's date, and they were going to the prom in style. Or rather, in the shape of Fred's mom's school bus. Xander had brought up the idea, and the others just chuckled until he pointed out that it would be something new, and that nobody else he knew could get away with besides them, since Fred's mom drove one. After much hesitation, everyone agreed that it would be something they would always remember, and things were set from there. Now, Buffy knew she didn't have much time, and she needed to do this before she either lost her nerve, or the bus pulled in to pick them up for dinner. She stood up, grabbed a small box from inside her nightstand drawer, and joined Willow by the full-length mirror in the dimly lit room. "Is something wrong? Do I look stupid? It's the dress, isn't it? I should've taken it back, and gotten another one. Or, or the earrings! They're too much...they say 'I'm all sparkly, and my parents can afford diamonds'..."
"No, Will. Relax. You're beautiful. Beyond beautiful." Willow ducked her head, and blushed away from Buffy's admiration. "Willow, there's something I need to tell you, and I'm not sure if you're going to like it exactly." Willow scrunched her brows in confusion, and Buffy took a deep breath before continuing. "You know how we reverted the spell from the crystal? Well..."
"It's okay, Buffy. I know, it's embarrassing but we'll get through it. You were obsessed with me, and although disturbing that so many people were willing to kill to 'claim' me...it's almost flattering...in a psychotic, only one can survive type of way. I understand, Buff." Buffy didn't want to get her hopes up because she honestly didn't think that Willow knew exactly what she was saying.
"Will...that's not...I mean to say...yes, I was obsessed with you but there's more."
"What is it? You didn't hurt anybody did you?"
"What?! No, Will...never. You're the reason I continue to fight in order to protect people. You're my life source, and I don't know what I'd do without you." Buffy's eyes were panicked, and she wanted to scream 'I love you' over and over again but she knew that she couldn't. Willow smiled warmly at her, and Buffy almost lost her nerve until she dropped the box on the floor. She bent down to pick it up, and when she stood back up, her body was so close to Willow's that she could feel their breaths co-mingling. Her breathing was more rapid than Willow's, and her eyes were glossed over in want every time they darted down to her pouty mouth, or into her green pools. "Will..."
"Buff..." They were whispering, both feeling the tender moment, and neither wanting to break its spell by being too loud. Suddenly, Willow's tongue snaked out, and licked her lips subconsciously but she didn't understand why. This was just Buffy.
"Willow...I got something for you...to wear. May I put it on you?"
"As long as it's not something kinky, or something involving teeth marks." Buffy opened the box, and slowly moved behind Willow, showcasing their mirrored images to one another. Buffy wrapped her arms around Will's neck from behind, and dragged a thin leather strap around the back, hooking the two strands together by the link provided. Willow stared at the small black, pear shaped stone hanging from the strap, and her fingers moved up to touch it below the base of her throat. "Buffy, it's beautiful. Where did you find it?"
"The magic shop across from the university." Buffy shrugged, and just watched Willow's awe-struck reaction to the necklace. "I was there yesterday, looking for a book that Giles sent me after...don't ask why. I was browsing, and a lady in the store came to stand beside me as I was staring at this under the glass display. She was kind of scary but she said that I needed to give this to somebody special that only I would know...that its essence called out to me or something. It was strange but it was like...like it called to me."
"An onyx crystal called out to you? Buffy, it's beautiful but I can't..."
"No, you can. You will. This was meant for me to give to you."
"But why me? I'm nothing special. I'm just Willow."
"And that's why you're special. Because you're Willow. My Willow with all her wily Willow charms. I know we just had trouble with a crystal but this one felt different somehow. I got curious, and looked it up on the net."
"Buffy, you researched? Without Giles forcing you?" Willow turned back around to face the slayer. She was more than amazed that Buffy actually studied...but the fact that she studied over a gift that she wanted to give to her? Willow was speechless, and more than confused.
"Well, yeah...but don't tell him. Otherwise, I'll get the lecture again on how I need to learn to pay attention when we're actually researching a demon. You don't even want to know about the lecture I got on this Argonaut crystal thingy...I'm talking long-winded..."
"Buffy...how...I mean, why?"
"Because I love you, Wills. You're the best friend I've ever had, and like I said...this thing practically had a bullhorn to my ear." Willow finally smiled at Buffy, and grabbed her into a tight hug, and Buffy immediately responded, burying her face into Willow's neck. "The lady at the counter said that this thing was some sort of protection against other spells, and that it helped with emotional balance and sexual self-control. I thought that since you're always protecting me, that I could give you some protection after this whole fiasco."
"You always protect me, Buffy. There's no question to that."
"Besides, after the stories you told me about you and Faith, I figured that self-control in the sexual sense might just help you cool down a little." Buffy giggled as she pulled reluctantly from the hug. She looked at Willow again. "You really are amazing, Willow Rosenberg."
Willow's tongue darted out between her teeth because she was so ecstatic. This was one of those rare moments that she knew would be treasured forever, and one of those memories that would've helped her earlier in the week. The moment was broken, though, when the doorbell rang, signaling Fred's arrival. Willow jumped for joy in a nervous manner as she pulled her shoes on, and followed Buffy down the stairs. Joyce opened the door, and ushered Fred inside, and the four women stood in the Summers foyer.
"You look great, Will." Fred couldn't escape her gaze from Willow yet again, as her eyes snaked seductively over her form, studying how the shiny purple dress clung to her body in just the right places.
"So do you." Willow noticed that Fred was wearing a simple knee length silky white dress, and she thought that Fred was breathtaking. Faith came hopping down the stairs in black...usual. The dress was plain, not leather for once, and all four women shook their heads in surprise. "Faith...wow. You clean up nice."
"Yeah, well...thought I'd be nice for once. It's much more comfortable than those overalls and fuzzy sweaters from your closet that I was wearin' last week so I'm not complainin' too much." Faith shrugged as she joined them by the door. "You didn't change your dress, Red. What gives?" Willow blushed, and averted her eyes from the others. "Yeah, never mind...we gonna get this show on the road, or what?"
"Girls, behave. Tell your mother that I'll be over later, Fred. Have fun." They all nodded, and headed for the long, yellow Twinkie-like transportation on the street.
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The dance had gone without any problems, and that made Buffy worry. She knew Spike was still out there somewhere, planning something big. She just wish she knew exactly what that something big was so she could be prepared. His attack could come anytime, from anywhere, and she wasn't even sure whether or not he was aware that they had managed to destroy the crystal. However, she decided to enjoy the evening. Faith had danced with her a little, and hung out with the gang before she left on patrol. The highlight of her evening had been when the senior class surprised her with the 'Class Protector Award,' something that had made the night special. However, the perfect moment the entire evening came when she and Willow sat down to talk. Willow explained how she was accepted into all of these prestigious colleges but there was only one choice for her. She wanted to stay in Sunnydale with the slayer, and fight the good fight. Buffy refused to allow her to throw away her future but Willow put her resolve face on, and both girls giggled and hugged in joy.
Gunn was currently dancing with her girlfriend, and they were laughing, and Willow was okay. She had finally decided to go to college, and she and Fred could see each other on weekends. She knew that LA was only an hour south but people kept warning them that long distance relationships never work. Willow just smiled when she realized that they had already beat the odds more than once, and felt happy in their decisions. She glanced over at Buffy, and noticed that the slayer was grinning from ear to ear.
"Why are you all happy girl?" Buffy turned to acknowledge her friend.
"How can I not be happy girl? You're staying. I'm appreciated by the entire class, which I was unaware of, you sneak." Willow just smugly grinned as Buffy eyed her. "I feel...good. Hmmm...this is kinda nice. I like feeling good. I haven't felt it in so long that I was beginning to think that I forgot how."
"That's not good."
"I know...but I do. I feel good, and that makes me happy."
"And a happy Buffy makes a happy Willow."
"And vice versa."
"Do you wanna dance, Buff? I know that Faith cut out early, and well, as you can tell...my date is preoccupied as well...it'll be fun." Buffy swallowed hard, knowing that she'd be pressed close to Willow but she saw the look on her face, and knew that her unrequited love would be pushed aside to give Willow anything. She nodded, and they made it out to the dance floor, finding a comfortable embrace, and swaying to the slow rhythmic beat.
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"Do you think that they mind me being here? I mean, how many times have we met? Plus, don't they still think you're with Faith?" Willow held her girlfriend's hand as she unlocked her front door. She ushered her in, knowing that her mother was probably still awake, probably either in her study or watching a late night lecture on the television. Sure enough, when she entered the house, she heard the familiar sounds of the television. She tried to usher by quickly, hoping to avoid her mother, even though when she was there, they barely talked. There was the rare occasion, though, and all she wanted to do was have fun, naked Fred time. The Burkles were having a small party at their house, and Fred decided that the two would stay at the Rosenberg's, especially since Willow's parents acted as if they were never home to her, even when they were. Willow made a quiet 'shh' with putting her finger to her lips for added emphasis. Then, the floor squeaked, and Willow stopped, praying that her mother would just leave them alone for the night. Unfortunately, she wasn't that lucky.
"Willow...is that you? Willow?" Willow made a defeated sigh, and rolled her eyes, causing Fred to giggle slightly. "Willow, I hear you giggling. Get in here now." Fred just smiled at her girlfriend's display of frustration, and had to hold her hand to her mouth to stop the giggles. "And bring whoever else is with you, too." The girls relented, and walked in to find Sheila positioned on the couch, wine glass in hand. "Now, Willow. What took you so long to answer?"
"Um, well...mom. We just got back from prom." She shrugged, hoping that she didn't have to explain, in fear that she would start nervously babbling about their private sex life. Her mother always did manage to stare her down, and cause her to breakdown nervously.
"Yes, that's nice. Did you have a good time?"
"It was okay." Will was trying to act cool but her body language was saying otherwise, since her body was screaming to be touched by Fred. The fact was that the prom had been beautiful. She talked with Buffy, and she even gave the redhead the beautiful necklace, which still amazed her. She and Fred danced and touched most of the night, and everything felt like it was back to normal for the first time in months. She even danced with Faith, and Fred didn't even cringe. All she could think about was that she wanted to end a beautiful night with a beautiful woman, and Fred was the only woman.
"Willow, I know you're lying but I'll let it go for now. Have a seat, girls. I'm just watching a lecture that was held at Boston University last week on child behavior. We haven't had much time to talk since we've been back." The girls went to the other end of the couch, and sat down beside her. Willow was fidgeting nervously, and Fred placed her hand at the small of her back to calm her down. The results were instant, and Willow's body relaxed. "How has school been?"
"Good."
"Still a 4.0?"
"Of course."
"Naturally. What about the house? Have you been getting the money we send?"
"Yes. It comes on time."
"Good. I have one more question that's extremely important, and I don't want any lies, Willow." She nodded, and Sheila continued. "What is with the beast that is out in our back yard as of right now? When did you plan on telling us that you brought a dog into this house?"
"You bought a dog?" Fred wasn't aware of the cocker spaniel. Willow had been so busy with reconciling that she always forgot to mention the puppy.
"Yeah. I mean, no. I didn't buy one. I found one in the park. It was crying, and she was so cute that I couldn't just leave her there. She was scared." Fred smiled at her girlfriend's loving nature, and had to restrain herself from kissing Will right there.
"Willow Danielle Rosenberg, we've made it very clear that we do not want any animals in this house. We only allowed you to have fish because we thought they would give you a chance to learn some responsibility on your own."
"Mom, I'm keeping her. Slayer's home is with me now. She has no place else to go."
"To the pound would be a nice place to start. You're just lucky I found the dog before your father. You know how he gets when it comes to canines." Willow nodded, remembering all too well the incident at her uncle's farm when she was ten. She still had shivers from the lecture he gave when she had first asked for a puppy.
"Well, I'm not giving her back."
"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter."
"Mom, I'm eighteen. I can handle a small puppy. I'm not a kid anymore. Would you please stop treating me like one?" Willow knew she'd hide the dog in her room until they left if it came down to it. Either way, she wasn't giving her to the pound.
"We'll talk about this in the morning. Clearly, you don't understand what all this entails. Let's just hope your father doesn't find it before then." Willow and Fred left her mother on the couch, and when the girls were changing into their pajamas, Willow had an idea. While Fred was using the bathroom, she snuck downstairs and let Slayer inside, taking the small pup to her room to introduce her to Fred. When Willow opened her door, the dog immediately jumped on her bed, and burrowed itself under the sheets beside Fred. The girl smiled in delight, and enjoyed the immediate attention the puppy gave her. Willow could only smile at her girlfriend and her dog bonding, and immediately regretted that her mother had ruined the mood for them. When they got into the room, they tried to go back to ravishing one another but it just wasn't working. Sheila Rosenberg was a mood destroyer.
"She's so cute, Will. Hi, Slayer. I'm Winifred Burkle but you can call me Fred because everyone else does. You're the luckiest dog in the world because your mommy is the most amazing woman I've ever met." She was petting a very happy puppy that was staring up at her from her lap, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't tell her but I think I'm in love with her, too. I want to kiss her, too but I'm afraid she'll think I'm easy." The dog's nub was wagging, and her tongue was panting wildly, excited to have such secrets from a stranger. She immediately decided that she liked this girl, and that her master should like her, too. Willow turned off the lamp on her nightstand, and snuggled under the covers until both girls shifted to face each other on their sides with Slayer in the middle. They continued petting the quiet dog, and just gazed lovingly at each again, enjoying the warm comforts of time well spent. "Will, why didn't you tell me you got a puppy?"
"I found her the night Faith and I...well, anyways...I brought her home, thinking that she'd be a gift for you. You know, since we were doing so well. Plus, she was lonely and sad, and I couldn't leave her there for some creature of the night to hurt. She was just too cute and cuddly. Kinda like you."
"You're pretty cuddly yourself." They giggled, and sighed longingly in the excitement of being close again. "I wish that none of this never happened but I'm glad it did in a way." Willow furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Well, if we hadn't gone through all of this, we would have kept avoiding a lot of things."
"Avoiding? I wasn't avoiding, was I?"
"We both sorta were." Fred smiled shyly. "We could never discuss college, or life after high school. We were living in this dream fantasy where everything was kinda too perfect."
"I liked it that way, though."
"I know. I did, too but it wasn't real. We didn't want to think about what might happen if we weren't together. You hardly ever wanted to talk about UCLA with me. There was always this tense vibe in the air when those four letters were formed together around us, and I don't want that."
"I know. It's all my fault. I just didn't want to think of losing you so soon. We've been together for two years, and I just had this fantasy that things would never change." They both stopped petting the dog, and the tiny cocker spaniel looked up to see where the hands had gone. She found their fingers together above her, and decided that she'd move to the end of the bed to allow the tender moment. "I was being selfish."
"So was I. Everything that happened...with Buffy, with Faith...the whole thing...it made me realize that even when things were rough, and things changed dramatically, I'd always love you no matter what, and would do anything to fix things between us if it was possible."
"And I always come back...if you remember." Quiet giggles erupted again, and Willow began to stroke Fred's chestnut locks between her fingers when they released their grip. Fred moved her hand to Will's side, and lightly traced her fingers back and forth.
"We'll get through this long distance thing, too. LA's only an hour away, and I'll come in to see you every weekend, or you can come and see me...whichever. We'll talk all the time, and I'll even send you little postcards with little hearts all over them."
"And I can send you all sorts of sappy love letters that profess my undying love to you, and even kiss the paper below my signature. It'll be just like all those cheesy teen movies and shows."
"Willow?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"Aww...now all you have to do is kiss me, and your little secret is out."
"I'd better hurry up, and break the silence then."
"Uh-huh." With that, Fred scooted her body closer to Willow's, and kissed her lightly, proud to be in love with Willow Rosenberg. The girls snuggled together the rest of the night, talking about random things, and enjoying each other's company until the Sandman decided to send them dreams of flowers, puppies, and love.
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Tell me what you think...b/c it's going to be a lot different in the next story (especially considering this was the 1st fic I ever wrote). It'll give me props of whether or not I should start posting the new story, the more B/W story.