Comfort
by Red
chapter 3
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Comfort Too (chapter 3 in Comfort series)
Red
Joss' folk.
G/T R
Summary: Sequel to Comfort...when Buffy dies, The Gift, Will goes to tell the L.A. gang. While she is finding comfort from an unlikely place, Tara does the same in Sunnydale.
She is dead. My slayer. My daughter. My Buffy.
Everything she has fought, faced, triumphed over...matters not now, for my child is dead. And my other children are lost. I look around this house...her house...and see them, eyes red from tears, exhaustion hovering above like darkness waiting for the last shred of light to vanish.
Xander holds Anya as they sit on the sofa...the ex demon who is bitterly shaken by this thing we mere mortals call death, clinging to the boy...no, the man...for my son is now a man...a fine, strong, brave man...and she clings to him, afraid if she lets go, he too, shall be taken away.
Dawn sits quietly, staring at the old Sunnydale High School yearbook...the class of 1999...her sad blue eyes studying every photograph, every word, as if that will somehow keep her sister alive, with her. I believe she can see Buffy...in her mind, that dreadful yellow and maroon cheerleading outfit...hear her, nagging because she once again, must take her little sister with her...
'But mom, Giles and I have slayer/watcher stuff to do. Can't she just stay here?'
Tara is playing mother...and not just to Dawn...to all of us. Making us eat...making sure Dawn has clean clothes...that her school issues are dealt with...we haven't told the school...or anyone, of Buffy's death. The ceremony was private...an old friend of mine performed it...Father Mullany, wonderful man, knows all about the evils of this town.
Tara hands me another cup of tea and I beg her to sit down, rest, she's wearing herself out. She just smiles and says someone has to do this stuff and that someone is her. Besides, with Willow in Los Angeles, she needs to keep busy. Then she smiles, that perfectly comforting, everything will be alright, beautiful Tara smile and my heart, for a moment, truly believes just that. Until I really look into those soft, big blue eyes and see the pain, the heartbreak, the sorrow.
It is then that I wish to do nothing more than take her into my arms and hold her tight, my arms embracing her very pain, assuring her she is not alone, that I am here and we WILL get through this.
Am I a bad man? Am I wrong for such thoughts? Buffy is dead, all of us mourning, weeping our insides breaking with every breath and the only comfort I can see, lies in the arms of the newest member of our family. Willow's lover. Tara...sweet, loving, beautiful Tara, with her kind heart and deep soul.
Anya and Xander are taking Dawn home with them...the yearbook tucked under her arms, protectively, as if nothing could seperate it from her grasp. We hug...Anya and myself, Dawn and myself...Xander's is the hardest and I find it difficult to let him go. My son.
But I do and they leave and Tara and I are alone in the house. Buffy's house.
+++++
Willow called. She's staying longer in L.A. She said she just can't come back yet, she needs a little time. I understand, I do. This has hit her so much harder than even she realizes. She just lost the woman she's been in love with for 5 years.
Yes, she's in love with Buffy...has been since the day they met. And Buffy, she was in love with Will...and yes, she too didn't realize either. But I did. I could see it every time they were talking...the looks on their faces. Their eyes would always light up when the other came into the room.
Little things, too...how Buffy always had Cheesy Nips around, because they are Will's favorite. How Will always, always had an extra Reese's Cup, just in case Buffy wanted one. The way Buffy would get that, 'oh yes, you will listen to me,' look on her face when Will would insist on doing something dangerous. And you know, there is a special resolve face reserved for Buffy.
How many nights did I sit up, watching Will sleep, stroking that beautiful firey hair while wondering if today was going to be the day my goddess finally realized her true feelings for Buffy. Or how many Scooby meetings I'd sit quietly, my nose in a book, waiting for the slayer to jump up and finally admit that she loved my Willow.
I think, they were staring to see it...when Glory sucked my mind...oh yeah, I looked like I was in the place of melted minds, but I saw what was going on...around me...Will going into Buffy's mind...Buffy calling Will her, big gun.
And I truly believe that were Buffy here right now, I'd be watching them, holding hands, kissing softly, dancing in each other's arms at the Bronze.
I'd have tears in my eyes...but not for why you might think. Yes, I do love Willow...and I always will...she will always be my goddess. But I have known from day one, who had her heart...and to see them together, happy, no longer ignorant to the love they have for one another...that would make my heart sing...tears of joy to see two people I love so much, so happy.
I tell Xander, Anya and Dawnie good bye, hugging each of them hard. Closing the door behind them, I turn to Giles. Such sadness...such heartbreak. If if only I could take some of that anguish away.
"More tea?"
He smiles and follows me into the kitchen.
"You need to eat something, luv."
I shake my head as I fill his cup.
"I'm fine."
"Tara, you cannot take care of everyone else and neglect yourself. I shan't allow it."
I can't help but smile, that familiar warmness falling over all of me. Everyone thinks of Giles as their surrogate father...and he is...more of a father than my own, that's for sure. But I...I see him as something a little more. I easily understand Will's crush on him.
"Honest, Mr. Giles, I'm fine."
I refill my own cup and sit down next to him...surprised when I feel his warm hand on my face. I look up to meet soft grey eyes.
"I said, I shan't allow it."
I swallow hard, unable to look away from him and before I know it, our lips are pressed together...soft, gentle and when they seperate, he is standing, taking me in his arms and kissing me hard.
And I am kissing back.
My arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing him closer and as I feel his arms wrap around me, our bodies pressing together, his cock hard against me, I know that I will be comforted tonight.