Welcome Home
by Rin
Bad Publicity
[reviews]
A/N: Oh thank the goddess, I finally update!! Sorry it took so long; I've not given up.
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"This just in..." The newscaster was holding her notes, ready to relay the information handed to her by the producer. He was waving his hands wildly. They'd hit the jackpot. An anonymous source sent them a short videotape, and pictures of the lead singer of Rogue Slayer, and the CEO of Watchers Records making it in a car. After leaving the large compensation into the allotted spot, he ran all the way, wanting to put it on the news right away. He was paying a lot of money to be the first to break this news. It was pure gold to him, despite the fact that several lives were about to change big time.
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"Buffy, have you seen my...briefcase?" Willow noticed the briefcase, along with two bags of luggage in front of the door but there was no Buffy, and Elita was asleep. She heard the pounding and huffing from the basement, and realized that her wife was working out, frustrated it sounded like. Making her halfway down the stairs, she noticed Buffy was giving the bag everything she had. "Buffy?"
"Go away!" Buffy punched the bag one last time, sending it flying from its chain. She didn't seem to have felt anything on her end of the punch. "Get out! I don't want to see you again! Do you hear me?"
"Buffy?" Willow chuckled, wondering what in the world was going on; the only logical explanation was that her wife was playing.
"Stop laughing! You think this is funny?" Buffy had danger in her eyes, hiding the pain from the news she had seen earlier.
"Well...I mean...I don't know what you're mad about. Did I do something wrong? I thought you were just kidding." Willow saw the pain hidden behind those dangerous eyes, and stopped before she took the last step into the room. Buffy's posture was warning her not to come any closer, or there would be hell to pay. "Baby?"
"Get out! I've packed your things already, so just go! Leave!" Buffy pointed up the stairs, fire in her eyes, pain in her heart. "Go, Willow! I don't want you here anymore."
"Buffy, what...huh?" Willow started backing up the stairs anyways. She'd only seen her wife this angry twice before; both times weren't pleasant experiences for anybody.
"Get out of my house!"
"Your...baby? What's going on? Did I do something wrong?" Willow tried holding back her tears, not wanting to cry until she had some solid answers.
"Get out, Willow! And take this with you." Buffy threw her wedding band at the redhead but Willow didn't catch it. Without another thought, Willow ran...past her suitcases, past her briefcase, past the Espresso Pump, past her apartment. She just kept running, running...that look in Buffy's eyes still haunting her...telling her that she wasn't wanted anymore...that she wasn't loved...that she wasn't welcome in her own house, with her wife and daughter. She just kept running, tears flowing everywhere, sobs making her weak, people staring at her like she'd lost her mind. Running, running...until she realized that she didn't know why she was running in the first place.
Falling down on the ground by a familiar headstone in the Restfield cemetery, Willow outlined the name of her former lover. Tara Maclay. She was supposed to be her always, her love for the rest of their lives. She'd died...Willow went insane, full of grief and revenge. It was nothing compared to what she felt at this moment.
"Hey...guess I haven't been here in a while, huh? Sorry..." Willow just clutched at the grass, refusing to cry but not being able to stop. What had happened? She was just upstairs, waking from her nap on a calm Sunday afternoon, wanting to finish her work but couldn't find her briefcase. Suitcases by the front door...Buffy pounding the bag downstairs...telling her to leave...throwing her wedding ring at her... It all happened so fast that it didn't seem real. What had happened? "I don't know what happened. She was so mean...I've never seen her so mean before...
"What...how..." Willow curled into a ball on the grass, letting dusk settle over her form. Tucked atop her former lover's grave, she fell into a fitful, sobbing sleep.
It wasn't until night had fallen that she woke from her unrest. Crickets chirping around her, the cool Sunnydale night covering her bare shoulders. She'd run out of the house without a shirt, only her tank top that she'd napped in; her bare feet were cracked and blistered, bleeding from the harsh running. Deciding that she had to find out what happened, she stood...only to fall back down again. It was a nightmare. It had all happened so fast...it seemed surreal...Buffy had kicked her out but why? They were fine earlier that morning, waking up with pancakes and eggs, humming in approval from the early morning fuck session.
Willow thought about going to her old apartment but Dawn and Andrew lived there now. Kennedy had left that morning, and Faith was rehearsing with the band tonight. She could go to her old house but her mom was home. She wound up walking to Fred's apartment, knocking, dressed in grass stains and bloodied feet. When her former lover finished patching her up, caring for her like the old days, Willow still hadn't said a word, not even sure if there was one to say.
"Will...you should call her."
"I can't...she made it clear that she didn't want to see me anymore." Willow looked into those big brown eyes she used to get lost in, and wondered what it was about her that made all of her lovers stop loving her, leaving her, hating her.
"How can you be sure if..."
"She threw her wedding ring at me." Both were quiet, as Fred tucked her in the bed, crawling in beside her. It'd been a long day for her, too. She was about to call it a night right as the knocking started. It was low, hardly any force behind it that she wasn't sure if it wasn't the neighbors that had company. The knock kept coming, though, and when she opened the door...there was Willow, bloody, grassy, unkempt, sobbing. Taking her into her care was second nature, and Fred didn't hesitate to fix the girl's wounds but the redhead wasn't talking. These were the first words they'd exchanged in over an hour.
"Surely..."
"She told me to leave, threw her wedding ring at me, and I ran. I just ran, and kept going."
"You don't know what happened?"
"Not a clue." Willow turned, cuddling into Fred, who cradled her body with gentleness and familiarity. The redhead just stared at the wall. Blank. Nothing. "Why would she do that?"
"I don't know, Will. Did you ask?" Fred tried being gentle but this wasn't normal Willow behavior. The woman had literally lost her mind.
"Yes, and she just kept telling me to leave."
"Should I call maybe, see what's..."
"No need."
"You're not gonna fight? You have a little girl over there; that's your wife; that's your home. Dammit, Willow!" Fred was surprised by her outburst moreso than Willow, who only moved with panicked eyes. "Sorry...a little overdramatic, huh?"
"Just a bit..." Willow sighed, and fell back into Fred. "This hasn't happened in a while."
"She's done this before?"
"No, I mean...you and me with the cuddles. Buffy's never done anything like this. We were fine this morning."
"What happened between now and then?"
"I don't know." Willow tried to relax but it still wasn't working. Fred started calming her down until they were both asleep; one broken and one lonely.
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"Hey, Buff. Will around?" Faith had gone to practice, not really wanting to go because of last night's debacle but not able to get out of it. She just figured if nothing else, it would take her mind off of everything. Instead of going to Willow's, she wound up going to her own apartment, not wanting to intrude. With much reluctance, Willow let her go.
"She doesn't live here anymore." Buffy's tone was harsh, moreso than usual.
"What? I just saw her last night. I know she lives there, B. Just give her the phone, will ya? I got something to tell her." Faith chewed at her ring finger's cuticle, something she did as a child when nervous.
"Is this Faith?"
"Yeah, B...why're you so snippy?"
"I have good reason, you little tramp!" What the hell?! "You tell Willow that this isn't funny anymore; I'm filing for divorce from all of our benefits, and I'm taking custody of Elita. You two can do whatever the hell it is you do." With that, Buffy hung up the phone, and Faith was pissed to high hell...and a little bit confused. Buffy was acting bipolar; what was the deal?
Walking over to the house on Revello Drive, she saw all of Willow's clothes strewn about the yard, and her laptop crashed on the sidewalk. Her new computer that she'd bought last week was trashed, too...and her furniture was in bits and pieces, leaving stakes of wood at the ready all over the yard. Elita could be heard crying a storm in the house, aware that something was happening that wasn't pleasant. Faith hoped that Elita kept crying for hours, never letting Buffy rest...especially after seeing this monstrosity. Nobody messed with Willow like this, not even her wife. Picking up everything, and putting it in a pile by the tree, Faith went back to her apartment, and drove her car the short distance, putting the pile of stuff in her car the best she could. What had happened here?
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Xander got a phone call from Buffy, who just kept yelling at him. He couldn't decipher anything, except that she didn't want Willow to ever come near her again. What the hell? He'd just seem them yesterday. They were fine then. Why would Buffy be calling like this now? He tried calling Will's cell but it just kept ringing, didn't even pick up her voicemail. Something was happening to his best friend, and he couldn't find her. He made the round of phone calls, and finally found her at Fred's. Fred said she was a mess, and the two compared stories. Faith had brought over all of Willow's things, after she'd been searching for the girl herself. Fred and Faith had compared stories, too. What the hell was happening?
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Buffy screamed her sobs into her pillow again. She'd actually kicked Willow out...thrown all of her things out...thrown her wedding ring. She'd spent the day angry ever since she'd seen the footage and pictures on the one o'clock news. Willow and Elita were upstairs taking a nap, and she was painting her toenails. Hearing the familiar names, she'd turned the sound up to hear the story. What she saw instead was Faith pleasuring HER wife in the car last night. She couldn't think...just went on feel. The therapist told her that she would do that...she was at the stage where she was going by feel, trying to push people away, piss them off because that's how SHE felt. She'd died...and nobody could help her but her.
Turning on her side, face stained with tears, throat hoarse from crying and screaming, cooing Elita. She felt exhausted. She'd been mean to everybody on the phone today, didn't want to talk to anybody, especially when Faith called. She knew what she saw; there was no way to get around it. Faith and Willow were lovers. How could she not know this? Faith's mouth must've been in the same spot not even hours before her own mouth occupied Willow's private areas, areas that were supposed to be only for her. What was happening with her life? Was she not enough? Did she not give Willow everything she ever wanted? Was she not loving enough? Didn't she carry their baby?
No, there was no more of that. She was tired. Willow ran, making it perfectly clear that she had no problems running away from them. Of course, she'd been harsh, only seconds before trying to take her anger out on the punching bag. It wasn't a good place to be. She was on fire; every part of her wanted to smack her...wife. If she could even call her that anymore. Buffy'd thrown her wedding ring at Willow because she knew it would hurt the girl, not physically but emotionally and mentally. She wanted the redhead to hurt as much as she did. When Willow ran, she'd walked back to pick the ring up, and clutched it to her chest, sobbing on the mats in the basement. Elita started to cry uncontrollably not long after, probably aware that her mommy had just left her. Buffy missed Willow so much...and it hurt so much...she just wanted to be happy again. What had she done wrong? Why would Willow cheat on her? Why would anybody videotape that even?
Faith...
That was the answer. The girl was beyond popular, big in the media, and paparazzi had been trying to discover her sexual identity for years. Faith was just so...sexual but she was really good at hiding her relationships. No wonder...she was boinking her boss...which Buffy happened to be married to...dammit! What was going on anymore? 'I thought Faith was at the precinct last night...isn't that why the cops called?'
Must've been a cover up...of course. It only makes sense. If your wife is cheating on you, of course she'll think of some clever way to do it. Willow was beyond smart, and had power, so the 'cop' that called was probably somebody that worked for her. How long has this been going on? Has it been happening all along? Faith was in love with Willow after all; it was the cause of their first big fight. Had it been happening that long, and she was just blind to it? Faith was at the cabin during their honeymoon. Maybe when Buffy was in the shower, and Kennedy was ... that doesn't make sense. The cabin was too small, and Buffy and Willow had been clung together the whole week, even showered together. There wasn't a moment apart. Faith was only there a few days. Was she there spying maybe? Scoping the competition? Kennedy was there, though. Was she in on it, too?
How stupid can one person be? Argh! It's just...it's never hurt this much before. Even when Angel went evil it didn't hurt this much.
Why sit here and mope? Get up, get dressed, find Willow, and beg for answers. That's it. Wait...she was in the wrong. Willow should be the one begging, not her. Okay, back to sobbing. That's all Buffy seemed to do anyways anymore.
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The phone rang. It just kept ringing, and ringing. Finally, Buffy answered with a grumpy 'what'...much to Kennedy's dismay. The brunette saw the footage a little too late. She'd called Faith, who knew nothing about the news coverage of her late night excursion. Calling Buffy was the next logical step. Surely the blonde had seen, probably took Willow back in loving arms, forgived her for fucking somebody else's girlfriend. Typical.
"Buffy, what the hell..."
"Don't you start on me. It's your girlfriend..."
"It's your wife..."
"Shut up!"
"Was not!" The words all bled together, hardly distinguishable as to who said what. Two broken hearts pining over the same bad news. "Okay...sorry. It's just..."
"I know." Buffy was quiet. Sounded like Kennedy hadn't had time to let this sink. Every news station in the district seemed to be covering it; it was even on Entertainment Tonight, right after fashion tips for the Fall.
"Buffy...did you know..."
"Not a clue. I take it you didn't, either?" Buffy heard the tough girl about to sob. She'd done enough of that for herself. Pass the torch.
"No." Kennedy was quiet, and neither knew what to say. "Did you take..."
"Will back? No. She ran away, and I have no intention of finding her, if that's what you mean." Buffy didn't mean to sound so harsh. Okay, so she did. It's not every day that your life is turned upside down; that your fairy tale bubble is popped, and you fall into a big pile of Fairy shit, and broken glass slippers.
"I figured you would've."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Again with the harshness.
"Nothing...just. Something's up, Buffy. How could neither of us have seen this coming?" Kennedy was in New York, ready to show her new show. Just like her popular Red Series, she'd painted the Dark Series, homage to her life with Faith. She was hoping that Faith would get to fly in to see the opening like she'd promised but now Ken wasn't sure she wanted that to happen.
"That's how these things work."
"I wouldn't know."
"Me, either." Buffy sighed, glad to actually have a calm situation, a kindred spirit in the game of pain. "What're you doing about Faith?"
"I called her a minute ago. She said she didn't know anything about any footage." Kennedy was ignoring the call waiting, just like Buffy was. It was annoying in both of their ears. "What did Willow say? Did she deny it, too?"
"I never gave her the chance to explain. Just told her to leave, and she ran. She hasn't even called to check on Elita...not that I'd let her get past hello." Buffy didn't know if she was angry that Willow didn't call, or the fact that she didn't get a chance to hang up on her.
"What happens now?"
"I guess we try to move on. We're better for it, I say."
"But you and Willow..."
"And you and Faith. It's just two names mixed together, doesn't mean we can't find another name that can go there instead." Buffy and Kennedy both knew that Buffy was lying; Willow was the only name that was meant to be beside the blonde's. Neither commented on it. "Look, Ken...I'm tired, and don't really wanna talk, okay? Somebody keeps trying to get on the other end, so I'll talk to you later maybe. Who knows? Maybe we'll end up fucking despite them."
"Whatever, Buffy." They both hung up, both aware of the bitch act Buffy was using to hide her true feelings. Flicking the dial tone, Buffy answered her call waiting.
"What?" At least it wasn't grumpy this time.
"Buffy?" It was Willow...a very tentative Willow. Buffy was shocked. She really hadn't expected the woman to call so soon.
"Willow." At least her voice wasn't dripping venom, though she wanted it to. She still loved this woman, dammit!
"Um...Buffy? I just saw the news. I think I know why..."
"You think you know why? Well then, Willow...tell me why because I've been killing myself over here trying to figure it out. You're so smart, tell me." Buffy waited, hearing the woman breathe, caught between wanting to feel that breath on her skin, and wanting to knock it out of her.
"Buffy...that's not what happened. What the media is saying happened? That's not what happened."
"Bye, Will." Buffy was tempted to hang up, she really was but she was holding on...wanting to hear.
"Buffy, wait! Don't hang up!!"
"What? It's pretty clear what's happening. So, what?"
"Nothing's happening. I don't know what whoever taped this thought it was but it's not what it was. Faith and I were talking. She was at the precinct, they'd beaten her up, blaming her for this girl's death but she was innocent. It still hurt her, though, and I was trying to help."
"Trying to help? I didn't know that eating you out was helpful." That hit even Buffy to the core, knowing full well that it helped her many a time. "Willow, I know what I saw. Just...be honest. Please?"
"I am, Buffy! I am! We were talking, she was crying! That's all that was happening! I swear to you that's all that was happening!" Willow was crying, pleading with her wife, wanting to call her that again. "You have to believe me, Buffy. I love you; I would never do anything like that. You have to know that."
"I thought I did." Buffy wanted to be angry. Wanted to yell...she thought she'd just screamed it all out of her. She refused to be played but part of her, a larger part than she'd like to admit believed her wife.
"Buffy..."
"Just be honest, Willow. That's all I want. How long has this been going on?"
"It's never gone on. It never will! You have to know that! Please, baby? You have to know that!"
"I really thought I did but I'm just not sure anymore. Just..." Buffy wanted to tell her to go away, to leave her alone for all eternity. She couldn't. This was Willow. Her Willow. Kennedy was right; she'd forgive her wife anything. Not this time; not until she knew the truth. "I want to. Believe me when I say that. I'm just not sure anymore, okay?"
"Well, how can I make you sure again?"
"I don't think it quite works like that, Willow."
"Why not? I'll do anything. I'll call Faith, and Ken! The police department! The officer on duty last night! They had to have seen what happened! Buffy, you have to believe me. I love you."
"And I love you, too. That's what makes this so hard."
"No, no hard. I don't want hard."
"What you want right now isn't really the issue."
"No...no...okay. Buffy...please? Baby? I'll beg...I'll...I'll sell the company, sell the Bronze...just take care of you and Elita, be around you every second of every day...just to prove that nothing happened, or ever will. You'll always know where I'm..."
"Will, stop." The redhead just kept going. "Willow!!"
"Sorry."
"That's not a relationship. That's practical slavery, and I don't want you to sell anything. Just give me time to figure things out."
"How long do..."
"I don't know. A week, a month...maybe a year. I don't know right now."
"A year?" The panic in Willow's voice was evident, and Buffy had to use all of her supernatural strength to stay strong, and not crack. If they got back together now, before she'd figured out what happened, or how she really felt about the whole situation, one way or the other, Buffy knew that she would always wonder, and never really trust Willow again. Whoever made that tape was cruel, corrupting people's lives. She liked her life just fine before all of this crap.
"I don't know."
"What about Elita, though?"
"I don't know. I can't keep you from her, she's your daughter, too but I can't promise pleasantries." They were both quiet, both unsure of where to go from here. "I'm sorry I threw the ring at you."
"I'm sorry you thought you had reason to throw it. I mean...that you felt you should throw it." Willow sighed, and Buffy followed her lead. "I love you, Buffy, and Elita, and I would never..."
"Save it for primetime, Will because I'm not really in the mood right now."
"Sorry."
"I'll call you when I figure things out."
"What if it takes you a year, though?"
"Then I'll call you in a year."
"Then I'll be by the phone."
"Bye, Willow."
"Bye, Buffy." Neither were sure when they would talk again.