Impressionable Sorrows
by DawnBTVS
Part XIII: Epilogue
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"Will I ever be redeemed?" I ask, my head resting on my forearms. They're wrapped around my knees, which are pulled to my chest. My voice sounds small, even to me.
"I don't think one can ever be redeemed. One battles on the side of good, not out of redemption, but out of the need to help," replies Angel, quietly. I had returned to Los Angeles a couple days ago, needing to flee Sunnydale. The gang understood, but I don't think B was happy to see me leave. She seemed quite pained. I told her I'd come back though. Just wanted to talk with Angel.
"I tried to save her, Angel. She was in my grasp," I whisper, still reeling over the event that had occurred a week ago. Angel leans back in his chair, and sighs.
"You mustn't punish yourself. As tragic as it was, you could not do anymore than you did. When I started out, I was only focused on redeeming my past. It worked, for a while. Then, guilt started consuming me when I couldn't save everybody," Angel says, smiling grimly at his memories. I raise my eyes.
"How did you continue?" I ask, wanting an answer to get rid of this pain. He shrugs his shoulders.
"If I didn't continue, more people would die. It's a choice of wanting to help or not wanting to help. I can't make up your mind for you, Faith. You'll have to look with-in yourself to decide," Angel says, slowly rising to his feet. I get up, my left arm again in a sling. Seems to be a normal fashion statement for me.
"Thank you. I know I never say that, but I mean it," I say, blushing a little. In the past, I'd never have dreamed of saying that, especially to Angel. It seems that this year has turned out way different from my past though. Angel smiles. I embrace the brooder, one armed of course. He pats me on the back. I step back, and grab my duffel bag. I give Angel a slight nod, and head out to Giles who's waiting for me. I think I want to help. I'm not with the touchy feely that B is, but I don't mind hearing thanks once in a while. I'm a Slayer. I choose to help, not because it's my job, but because it's what I should do. I feel liberated. I open the door and slide in.
"How'd it go?" asks Giles, as I grin back at him. He looks a little startled.
"I want in. I'm here to fight for the good of puppies, flowers, and people. I want to be like B, I guess," I reply. Giles smiles, and looks proud of me. It's a nice reaction to see, and something that I didn't see often.
"Glad to have you on board, Faith," Giles comments as he pulls the car away. I wonder how it'll be, fighting for the side of good. I just hope I don't turn out all broody like Angel. That would really suck. I should talk with B about that. I wonder if B broods? Maybe she picked it up from Angel...