Switcheroony
by alicorn
Switheroony
[reviews]
Switcheroony
By Alicorn (a.k.a Alicorn7)
o Rating: NC17
o Disclaimer: They're not mine, I wish they were, but I know they're not and nobody gets anything for writing or posting, except Wiffy goodness.
o Distribution: IKOLY, Fan fiction Net, Willows little secret, Mystic Muse & Wiffy Dreamverse
o Feedback : yes please
o Pairing: Buffy and Willow
o Authors Notes: After a brief relationship with Willow, Tara dropped out of college and went back to her family, so Willow is Out to the scoobies. Buffy & Willow sharing a College Dorm room. Giles & Anya (ex-demon & Xander's girlfriend) run the Magic Box. Faith is post coma.
o Credits: Beta and editing by Lilly
o Summary: Buffy and Willow body swap. A rose by any other name, still has thorns
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Chapter 1:
Willow lay perfectly still, afraid to move. Okay she was a little ... no, a lot confused. She was her ... well, her - as in her personality and id. But she was in Buffy's body! Metaphysics, Applied Mathematics, Psycho-Analysis, Advanced Magics and Drugs would all probably be required before long. And all because of Faith.
So now here she found herself trying to sleep ... in Buffy's body. Knowing that just across the room Buffy was trying to sleep in her body. Willow was sure that any moment now Scully and Mulder would burst through the door with the cigarette-smoking man in tow.
The Scoobies had met at the Magic Shop to help them figure out what had happened ... how it had happened and how to fix it.
Giles had cleaned his glasses and then buried his head in his books and watchers' journals. Willow and Buffy had just seemed to spend ages staring at each other but not making eye contact. Xander spent his time sneaking side glances at the pair of them when he thought they weren't looking.
Anya's attention, however, was focused on the cash register which wasn't balancing and, therefore, endangering the money in some way that only she understood. The whole 'we've swapped bodies' thing did not rate above this since as she far as she was concerned they were still both alive and in no physical danger. Buffy and Willow didn't really mind that her attention was not on them. They felt that they had enough to deal with.
Willow had never felt this uncomfortable in her best friend's presence before. Well, with two exceptions. First, there was that whole Halloween thing when Buffy had got her into that "way too sexy for Willow' outfit. She had just wanted to disappear. Then there was the time when her Vampy other dimension self had seemed all kinda Gay and come on to Buffy!
Buffy was going through her own private chastisement, recalling how Faith had so easily tricked her into this situation. Guilt filled her as she realized that she had yet again put her Willow in danger. Willow now had her Slayer strength but not her training or experience, while she was now the guardian of Willow's body.
Calling LA had proved fruitless. No one was answering except for the answer machine. It seemed that Angel was, indeed, occupied elsewhere.
Eventually at around 11pm, Buffy had decided that they all needed to eat and that munchies were required. She took Xander with her, knowing that just like her, he was starting to get book weary. They drove to his apartment which was nearest.
"So Xan, is it sandwiches or chips and dips?" Buffy asked.
"Sandwiches sound good. How about toasted? We can zap them in the micro when we get back to the Box." Taking Buffy's smile as agreement, he continued. "I'll go do the manly burning of bread. You can check the sandwich makings. We need high calorie goodness."
"Point well made. Color me a seeker of sugary goodness," Buffy replied, glad that Xander had stopped the strange looks. She heard him find the bread and load the toaster. Rummaging through Xander's fridge, she found cheese, ham, raspberry jam & some pickles. She grabbed three knives and started to open the jars, normally a total non-issue. But the lid to the pickles just would not budge, no matter how hard she twisted. Buffy's mind raced 'this is what it was like to have normal strength, to have Willow-strength'.
She was not impressed. Just when she was about to scream in frustration, a large hand reached past her taking the jar right out of her hand. As she turned, she saw Xander, a little too effortlessly, open the jar and place it back in front of her. He didn't even look at her as he did it.
Buffy stared at the jar as if it was Xander. 'He's stronger than I am, right now. He just treated me like Anya! Like I was a little weak female who needed someone big and strong to do things for her. Oh my god! Did I used to do that?' Buffy was lost in her thoughts, trying to remember if she had ever treated Anya or Willow as a weak and feeble female until the toaster pinged and ejected all but one slice of bread, which it appeared according to Xander, was the price you paid to the toaster demon so that it did not burn all the other slices too.
As if a bell had gone off in her head, Buffy suddenly thought, 'I can't patrol like this. I couldn't dust a shelf.' Shaking herself, she continued the making of toasted sandwiches.
When they returned to the Magic Box, everyone still had their heads down. Xander became Microwave man and soon everyone was diving into high calorie goodness. All, except Buffy who seemed to have lost her appetite.
As time went on, she realized that they were all waiting for her to mention her slayer duties. She was so not in the mood to own up to being just plain normal, non-slayer powered Buffy. 'Faith you are so dead!'
But the more she thought about patrolling and who now had her power, the more she thought 'Willow might have my slayer strength but one whole session in the training room will probably only prove that she really doesn't have the physical coordination, experience or control to be sent out to dust vamps which means that patrolling will have to be cancelled.
With any luck Giles would then call it a night and they could all troop off to their relative beds and regroup tomorrow. 'Yeah,' she thought, 'its set in stone that you need years of training to master my slayer strength.' Summoning herself she launched into the untouchable subject.
"So when are you going to start Will's training Giles?" asked Buffy, with all the innocence and 'this doesn't bother me' attitude she could muster.
"Ahh, yes. Well, I suppose for all intents and purposes Willow is now our Slayer." Giles cleared his throat. "It would therefore be prudent to instruct her in the skills that she will require to undertake your duties ... that is ... until we can resolve this ... issue," he finished lamely.
"Hey, Will. You get to feel the force," Xander piped in. "Be careful not to be drawn to the dark side," he added in his best 'Obi-Wan' voice.
"Please don't turn out to be my brother," Willow replied. "Do I really have to train?" she asked with obvious concern. "I'm not really big on the whole 'staking and witty one-liner' thing. I'm more backroom girl."
Giles replied in his best Watcher's voice, "It's not really a 'choice' thing, Willow. With the Slayer strength goes a history of responsibility. It's more of a calling really."
"Oh cool, someone else gets the speech," Buffy interjected, only to get an 'over his spectacles' look from Giles. "But it's a very good speech," she offered as an apology.
"Yes ... well. Willow, we can't let the vampires and other lower region dwellers think that the Slayer is on a break or incapacitated. That would put too many lives in danger. I think Buffy's right. We need to start your training as soon as possible."
With that he stood up and started to move toward the training room.
"Now?"
"When better?"
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Buffy watched in disbelief as Willow showed not only aptitude but a willingness to learn. Her slim and agile body took to the complex moves with little or no effort. Giles was in his element. He had a student who knew how to listen, digest new information, ask intelligent questions and take instruction. It was almost embarrassing to watch his pleasure.
It turned out that Willow was as apt a physical student as she was a cerebral one. 'This is not going according to plan,' thought Buffy, 'Will's learned in one hour what it took me four months to learn.' Ashamed at her thoughts and the possibility of being surpassed, Buffy could do nothing but sit and watch. She should be happy that Willow was as good as she appeared to be. Yet fear was gripping her. But there was no one to fight, no one but herself.
So she just sat there, as Xander beamed proudly at his Willow who soaked up everything Giles gave her as the Watcher concentrated on his eager student. She felt as if she wasn't needed. It was a hollow feeling. 'What use am I now?' she asked herself. 'I don't have any of Willow's magic. I'm not book-wormy and no one even lets me drive car. I've become redundant.'
After two hours Giles called it a night. He thanked Willow for all her hard work and stressed that although she had done exceptionally well, he didn't feel that tonight should be her first patrol.
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They had walked in silence back to their dorm room. The night air cleared Buffy's head. Willow was very conscious of every noise and didn't really relax until they got back into their dorm.
Not much was said as they prepared for bed. The awkwardness had returned. Both had been unable to get over having to relieve themselves in each others bodies. Showering was totally out of the question. They had changed into their pajamas almost like 12 year-olds at camp. Both trying to not get caught looking at the body they now occupied.
Both got into their respective beds and lay very still, so very conscious of how difficult it was to sleep when you had to watch where your hands were.
Willow's mind was babbling in response to the situation. All her thoughts seemed to be about the body she now occupied and how she had often had wondered if Buffy's skin was as soft as it looked, what it would feel like to touch, caress, kiss ... 'Bad thoughts, bad, bad thoughts. 'Cause feeling would be bad ... wrong ... bad, bad. Oh no ... feeling... caressing... even worse. Naughty Willow, Bad Willow. No! No feeling.' So she lay there staring at one spot on the ceiling, wishing for sleep to take her but concentrating too hard to let it.
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Early next morning, a ringing phone dragged Buffy into consciousness. Stumbling across the room she grabbed the handset from the cradle and grunted "Hi."
"Hey B, missing your Goldie locks? Have you checked out your new equipment yet?" An all too familiar voice added "Is Red a natural red head?" Buffy could almost see Faith's smirking face as her voice traveled down the phone line which Buffy now held in a clenched fist. She was suddenly very awake.
"Faith. I am going to put you in a world of pain when I catch you. Why did you do this to us?" Buffy almost whispered through clenched teeth as she felt herself going red faced.
"Ahh B, you know I really have done you both a favor. Let's face it you were never going to get the courage to deal with how you feel. Let yourself loosen up, B. Just think of the possibilities." When she got no reply from Buffy, Faith baited her. "Yeah, you know what I mean."
Stealing herself not to respond, Buffy asked "What do you want Faith?"
"Just checking in on you guys. Gotta keep an eye on my little experiment," Faith replied, laughing. "Believe me B, I'm doing this for your own good. Plus there's a whole personal buzz from seeing you and Red so jittery. So how you doing without the Slayer power? Is it everything you hoped for?"
"Faith, I don't know what your up to. But I will find out and then you will so pay," Buffy stated. "When Angel said you were trying to change, I was right to think you just had him fooled"
"You really do get off on that high moral ground thing, don't you? Singing the song of the chosen one, your 'martyr to the cause' lyrics are beginning to sound very old hat B. Do yourself and everyone else a favor — chill, B and get on with living life before it passes you by. Be honest with Red. Trust me, regrets are a bitch." With those words the line went dead.
Buffy just stood there glaring at the handset and griping it tightly as if it was Faith's neck. 'Why is this happening?' she thought to herself, 'Oh yeah. It's my birthday. Why else? Can't have a birthday without the whole world falling apart, can I?' She slammed the receiver back into its cradle and glowered at it as if somehow her own will could make it tell her everything she needed to know.
"Buffy" she heard herself say. Why was she calling herself? No, not her. Willow. Willow was calling her name in her voice. She turned and saw herself sitting in Willow's bed with a very worried expression on her face. "Buffy?" she questioned.
"Faith, our little wayward slayer just checking in on her ... experiment."
"What did she say?"
"Uhhh. Nothing really. Just big with the 'hee hees' and innuendos. Pure Faith. When I get hold of her, Will ..." she clenched both fists in front of her and stared at them.
"Yeah, double that," Willow added for good measure. "So why did she do it?"
"According to her, she's actually doing us a favor," Buffy replied. "Of all the favors she could do us like getting lost, she picks this one. Go figure."
"What exactly did she say, Buffy?" Willow repeated. She had noticed the avoiding. "It might prove to be important."
"Hey, what's with the going all Gilesy on me, Will?" she pouted, hoping to put Willow off her question.
"Well, it might be useful to know exactly what she said ... Hey, I did not go all Gilesy. Just asking a question. Hey, only me in here. No Giles! Well maybe I sounded a little Gilesy. But no ... no more body swapping. This is me. Well ... that is me in your body me."
"Got it. The babbling proved it if nothing else ... your definitely Will in the Buff Bod." She paused and raising her eyebrows in mock horror, she added "Did I just say that ... Buff bod?" She giggled, not just over her own misspeak but also having just listened to Willow-babble coming out of her mouth in her voice.
Soon they were both in fits of giggles. Buffy went back to her bed and flopped.
"So what did she say?" Willow repeated when the giggles subsided.
"Not letting me get away with the avoiding, are you Will?"
"Nope," Willow said
"Somehow your 'resolve face' doesn't quite work with my features. But I get it, Will," Buffy sighed. She really had to figure out a way of saying this without letting Willow know that Faith knew about her feelings for the Wiccan. "Well, she said — sorry Will, but well ..." Buffy picked a point on the carpet to stare at while she continued "She asked if you were a natural red head? How was I doing without my Slayer powers? Was it all I had hoped? Then she said she was doing us a favor and that I should loosen up; that I needed to get off my Chosen One high horse and get a life." She finished still unwilling to look her friend in the eye. "Yep, that about sums it up."
When no response came from Willow, she looked up. To see her face a terrible shade of white and her eyes beginning to change from hazel to brown, which according to her mother was never a good thing, Buffy knew that Willow was about to blow.
"Natural Red Head!! That coming from a natural Tramp." A deep sigh followed. "After all we did for her, all Angel's done for her - how could she? Why? I don't get it. And why call? To rub salt in I guess. How can she be such a bitch?"
"May I say - Meow re the Tramp line. But Will, don't let her get to you. Please, Will. She's just trying to get a reaction from us." Buffy tried to calm her best friend down.
"I ... Buffy ... I ..." Willow was at a loss to even babble. Not good. Buffy needed her focused. She could see tears in the near future if she couldn't get her to focus.
"Yeah, with you all the way on that one, Will." Buffy smiled reassuringly at her friend. "I think we need to get it together, get over to the Magic Box and into research mode. We'll soon have Faith paying for this and things back to normal." She looked her friend firmly in the eye. "Will. We're good, right? I need you to focus Will. You with me? No wigging out. OK?" Staring at her friend intently, she asked again "OK?"
Willow looked at her and said "OK." Then Willow began smirking. "I get the 'resolve face' now. Cool." She was back, if still a little wigged out. 'Note to self. No more Gilesy questions,' Willow observed.
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They walked to the Magic Box in a little less than comfortable silence. When they arrived they found Giles already heavily into the books, Anya behind the counter and Xander eyeing the large box of doughnuts he had purchased along with a round of coffees. Everyone knew that this was major research mode and that it was going to be long day.
"Hey, anything new?" asked Xander.
"Nope," replied Buffy. "Still in the wrong body. But Faith called this morning to rub salt in the wounds. So life's good."
"May I ask what she said?" asked Giles, causing Buffy to smirk at Willow, who knitted her brows in annoyance. "It might prove to be of relevance."
"Mostly annoying stuff, and that she was doing us a favor, that I should get off my high horse and get on with my life. Basic, Nah nah na na nah."
"She said she was doing you a favor?" Giles repeated.
"Yeah. Well, both of us actually. She asked if I was enjoying being normal ... no Slayer strength and such," Buffy replied, as nonchalantly as she could.
Xander considered for a moment "Mmmm, Willow the Vampire Slayer ... missing the same punch." Seeing Willow pout, he added "Sorry Will, but it is more Disney than independent but whacky low budget cult." Seeing Buffy's now pouting face, he further added. "Not that I mean low budget as in cheap, just not Titanic with a major CGI budget ... I'll be shutting up now."
"Yes well, setting aside Xander's 'B' movie title issues, I do think that we need to try and focus on how to undo what Faith has done," Giles said. "I think we have several volumes that may prove useful."
"You're thinking spell? Couldn't it be a curse?" asked Anya. "Curses. Now that's where the real longevity is."
"Well yes, Anya, you could be right. But I think researching spells is the best place to start. As you may know, the removal of a spell is far easier than fulfilling the requirements to remove a curse."
"I think I speak for me when I say — Huhh?" interjected Buffy.
Sighing, Giles removed his glasses to explain. "If this was caused by a spell, then we simply have to find a counter spell. If, however, this is a curse, it is a bit like a contract and it has conditions."
Anya interrupted "What he's trying to say is every curse has a task that must be completed to get it to end." She continued "But as Faith is hardly likely to tell us what the conditions of her curse were, we better hope it's a spell."
Buffy let what Anya said sink in and nodded. Turning to Xander she whispered, "It's just like the more I know, the more confused I get."
"I believe that's called growing up."
In a little voice Buffy replied, "I'd like to stop then. Okay?"
They settled down into research mode, cross-referencing anything even remotely related to body swapping. Nothing seemed to stand out as matching exactly what Faith had done or the end result. As the day went on Buffy grew more and more frustrated.
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Finally at about seven in the evening, having long closed the shop and ordered pizza, they sat with no one wanting to say what had become apparent.
It was a curse.
In a not so stage whisper Anya asked Xander "When do we start looking at curses?"
"Anya?"
"What? Curses are not on the list you gave me of inappropriate public conversations. I checked. Okay. They're not fun but last time I checked, they were option 'b'". She turned to Xander fully. "So when are we going to look up curses?"
"Anya!" Xander repeated, although a little half-heartedly.
"No Xander, Anya's right," Giles replied
"I am?" Anya asked, then smiled broadly. "Curses. Now that's an area I know something about. I have placed a few in my time, I can tell you, and not of that 'beauty and the beast' or 'frog prince' kind, either."
"I never would have guessed," muttered Willow.
Muffling her giggle at Willow's sideswipe, Buffy spoke up. "This spell thing is obviously a bust. I didn't know my head could hurt this much from just reading," Buffy said as she placed her hand dramatically across her forehead, thus agreeing to the switch of focus.
"Me too. Big on the bored with spells here. And I'm the big old witch girl ... well less of the 'old' and more of the Wicca. Not to say that I'm bored with doing spells or the looking up of spells. Its more bored with the whole not finding a spell, bored." Looking around at the others Willow added, "Okay I know you're all glad I cleared that up" and shrugged.
"Indeed," replied Giles. "Well, I think we have to try and gather as much information from the actual event and your conversation with Faith as possible. Then it will be a matter of looking for clues."
"Clues? You mean we go all CSI? Sorry G-man, I mean Sherlock Holmes. Is that really going to work? Isn't it always the butler, of which we're short one."
"I think it's the best point from which to begin. And Xander, would you please not call me by that infernal nickname?" he frowned at Xander who just smiled. "Right then, let's start with the event itself."