Switcheroony
by alicorn
Chapter 34
[reviews]
Willow stood at Xander's kitchen counter, her mind completely overloaded by the dozens of different tasks -- matters such as where should she balance her center during the entrance spell? Had she put enough mustard seed in her and Faith's charms? Would Xander be able to pull off the diversion? Could she trust Faith with something this important?
Glancing over at Faith, Xander and Giles as they narrowed down which weapons to take with them, a more disturbing train of thought overtook her. How far was she prepared to go? Would they need to kill someone? Could she? Would Buffy understand if she accidentally did? Neither of them had forgiven Faith — if she was to believe that Faith's actions had been unintentional or even forgivable.
Anya was on the far side of the apartment watching the three would-be warriors with a puzzled but slightly amused expression. Willow could swear she was checking to be sure that Xander was still there. She wondered whether that was what it was like to be in a real relationship - to be in constant fear of losing what you had. Her brief time with Tara had been so new, almost childlike in its innocent acceptance of their relationship. Neither one of them quite sure what a relationship between two women was meant to be like.
But now as she looked back over her early relationship with Oz, she saw so many similarities. For the first time she began to wonder if there was any difference. Wasn't a relationship between any two people much the same? Attraction, dependence, loyalty, support, love ... she paused mid-thought, unsure if she actually knew what made up a relationship, let alone love.
But she knew that she had loved them both, and still did. Yet the love, the feelings, the closeness, everything she felt with Buffy was so intense. It seemed to speak to the very core of her heart.
Was it quantifiable? Could it be measured, observed, categorized? What she felt for Buffy didn't appear the same thing she had observed between her own parents. Then realizing that in her experience they and Xander's parents were the only couples she knew who had been together for longer than ten years, her heart sank. Her melancholy was interrupted by the sudden ringing of the telephone. Instinctively she reached for it.
Giles turned his head at the sound of the telephone, drawing his attention away from weapons sorting, which he was finding anything but mentally challenging. The look he saw on Willow's face immediately filled him with concern. Then he heard her say "Angel" and he immediately understood her troubled expression.
Nodding towards her, he left Xander and Faith to continue the sorting. He gestured to take the phone but Willow shook her head.
Giles frowned, giving Willow a look of obvious concern. Angel had been such a large and important part of Buffy's life. Both the Slayer's Watcher and her best friend had watched her heart break when Angel had turned into Angelus; when she'd had to kill him; and, then again, when he had decided to leave (after his return from the Hell dimension to which she had sent him). Unable, at that time, to say that he thought that it was all for the best, Giles tried to imagine how speaking to Angel must be affecting Willow after recent events.
He had not seen a future in Buffy's relationship with the vampire and the return of Angelus had only seemed to prove him right. But Willow, he now knew, had buried her own feelings and done everything she could to bring back Buffy's vampire lover despite their extreme misgivings because it was what Buffy had wanted. And now Willow was dealing with Buffy's "-ex" on a level she'd never had to before — as his potential replacement!
Willow's silence somewhat disconcerted Angel. "Are you okay?" he asked awkwardly. This quiet, nervous woman was the person he was now trusting with his Buffy's heart and life? He had always admired her quiet strength but right now he needed her to talk to him.
"Yes, yes. I just wasn't expecting ... Has something happened?" she asked. Willow tried to listen to what Angel was about to say but knowing that the person on the other end of the phone loved Buffy just as much as she did wasn't letting her think straight.
"We've learned some more about Wolfram & Hart, the law firm you asked about. I'll let Wesley explain. Then I need to talk to you," Angel advised her. "Willow?"
"Oh, yes ... yes. Okay," she agreed, acknowledging his instructions and desperately trying to collect her thoughts. She knew that she had to concentrate.
She could hear the handset being passed and then her name being spoken, closely followed by the very familiar British tones of Wesley. "Hello?"
"Hi," Willow offered in greeting. "What did you find out?" she asked, trying to sound interested as she forced herself to listen intently despite the desire to run that was building within her.
"As Angel may have intimated, we have managed to collect some rather disturbing information regarding the lawyer's firm in question. I have to say that what we have learned was disturbing, although it does not represent an exhaustive view of the firm nor, in my opinion, the events we are trying to interpret," Wesley explained.
Willow found it easier to concentrate as Wesley proceeded to explain what he had found, his doubts, concerns and the hypothesis he had hesitantly reached. "Really?" Willow asked, her eyebrows rising pronouncedly. "Oh my ... but that could mean that Angel ... OH! That would mean ... I mean that would mean that if he ... he could ..." Willow babbled, falling into stunned silence as she considered the ramifications of this information. Her silence lasted for quite some time before she spoke again. "Are you sure it's about Angel?" she asked, kicking herself for asking and secretly hoping that the answer was — no.
"As I said, I am working on third and sometimes fourth hand accounts here. But I feel that to ignore these references, when taken in conjunction with the character, history and reputation of the parties concerned, could be incredibly irresponsible," Wesley affirmed. "If there is any chance that ... any opportunity ... maybe we should ... if there is a chance that ..."
Willow interrupted Wesley's ifs and maybes to ask "But how does this connect to us?"
"Can't you see? They're trying to bring about The Apocalypse before Angel becomes aware of his part in the prophecy and they are using you two to do it," Wesley stated, somewhat surprised that Willow hadn't considered that this wasn't actually about her or Buffy. "What I can't determine is how they knew about Cordelia's vision. Regardless of that, ideally certain things need to be resolved before tomorrow's sunrise."
Giles found himself wishing he had a slayer's enhanced hearing. Being able to listen to only one side of the conversation was incredibly frustrating. It left him with so many unanswered questions. In addition he was finding it extremely difficult to read the nuances of the looks on Willow's Buffy-face.
As if suddenly remembering she was being watched, Willow turned her face away from Giles but she wasn't quick enough to hide the flash of sudden fear and dread. "I see. Yes, well we'd come to that conclusion too. But I don't see how that relates to the prophecy."
"What prophecy?" Giles asked, his irritation and concern now very apparent.
Willow gestured for him to be patient as she reflected on the logic of Wesley's hypothesis, desperate to find a hole, a flaw, something to make her worst fear disappear. 'If Wesley is right ... if that could happen ... she would be bound to. Oh Goddess, I'm going to lose her after all ... No, No! This can't be happening. Why? It's a mistake ... it has to be.' Stricken by the fear and the inevitable failure she could see before her, Willow let the handset drop from her ear.
Seeing the look of despair on Willow's face, Giles decided he had had enough and reached forward to take the handset from Willow's drooping hand and raised it to his own ear. "Angel?"
"Giles?" Wesley acknowledged, puzzled.
Giles glanced at Willow, surprised that he hadn't realized she'd stopped talking to Angel. "Wesley ... could I trouble you to please repeat exactly what you just told Willow?"
Ignoring the fact that Giles had just taken the hand set from her, Willow stood unable to stop one terrifying thought from running over and over in her mind. 'Angel could become human again. Buffy's Angel could become mortal! The man she couldn't have, the future they couldn't have ... everything she had ever wanted. Oh Goddess, what am I going to do??!!'
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Eoin Maclay stood and smiled at the book before him. He had thought that this day would never come. All those years of working carefully towards his goal, of bending his knee to men he would normally have had nothing to do with. Every sacrifice now seemed worthwhile.
At first he'd resented having to leave his mountain community, forced out into the harsh world because of his unpopular fascination with the powers of the Maclay women. Realizing that his thirst for magic went against everything that his father and brothers believed in, he had long ago broken all connection with his family. Although for quite some time he'd tried to make secret contact with his grandma.
It had been her stories that had fired his imagination as a small boy. Most of the town just considered her a crazy harmless old lady, her body riddled with arthritis. They only saw her as a baby-sitter. He'd loved visiting her and he'd sought her out long after becoming old enough to watch out for himself.
She had continued her stories, extending them and exploring their meanings with him until one day his grandfather had overheard them, hitting the roof ... and grandma. Little had his grandma known the envy he'd felt as he'd listened to her tales, knowing that only the women of his line could tap into the magics she spoke of. Silently he had understood why the men of his clan had decided to prevent them from using their talents.
Now after eight, or was it nine years, of working for Wolfram and Hart he was almost at the end of his quest. Only one more thing remained to be done and he would be the first Maclay males to tap into real personal magic.
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"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Giles reiterated into the telephone, glancing sideways and catching Willow's distant expression.
"Giles, it has to be her decision," Angel explained, his insides gnawing at him. He knew that, despite his instinctual need to run to Buffy's aid and Wesley's loud protestations, he had to defer to Willow. She was the one he had passed Buffy's care to and she needed to know that. Besides he knew that Faith and Cordelia were there to give her any help that she might need.
"Very well, but I still have reservations." Removing the phone from his ear, he turned to fully look at Willow, who raised her head to stare blankly at him. "Angel would like to speak to you."
"Me?" she questioned.
Giles nodded, offering her the handset.
Willow stepped forward as if in a dream, fear filling her heart as she reached out to take the telephone back from Giles. "Angel?" she muttered apprehensively.
"Willow, I know it's been a lot to take in and that you have some very understandable concerns," he began. "It was my choice to try to bring you two together," he advised her, having heard the apprehension in her voice. "And I don't regret that decision for a minute."
Willow was mute, her own expectations and fears, making it difficult to fully take in what he was saying. It was as if he was whispering. She couldn't be hearing right. Why would he be saying that? "W ... Why?"
"You were meant for her. I never was," Angel stated, unsure how to make it any clearer.
"I ... I ..." Willow stuttered, wanting to acknowledge what he had just said but unsure just how to do that. How do you thank your beloved's "-ex" for giving her up?
"I know that you know how I feel. So trust me when I say that I know how you feel. If you want my help, I'll be there," he assured her. "But if you want to do this yourself, I'll understand that too," he added. "The choice is yours."
Willow took the handset away from her ear and stared at it in shock. Angel was asking her permission. No, he was asking her to choose, to decide. But what if she failed without him? What if she only succeeded because of him? Oh Goddess, what should she do?
"What is it?" Giles asked Willow, obviously concerned.
Returning the receiver to her ear, she swallowed forcing the words from her mouth. "I ... understand. Thank you Angel but I need to do this ..."
His heart sank but he nodded, accepting her decision. "I guess I'd better speak to Giles. Good luck, Willow."
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She needed to sleep but she didn't want to miss anything. What if Willow was brought past her and she missed it? What if the opportunity to escape appeared while she was asleep? Buffy forced herself to stay awake despite the exhaustion she felt, keeping her eyes wide. The salty tears of fatigue fell down her face but she ignored them.
Last night she'd been in Willow's arms. They had made love. It hadn't been a dream. It hadn't been a wish. It had been real she assured herself. Okay, she wasn't in her body and Willow was — but hell, it didn't matter. They had been together. She hadn't needed to see Willow. She had felt her, sensed her soul.
She wouldn't, couldn't let the memory fade. But she couldn't let it entice her to close her eyes, to fall back into that sensory memory - the tastes, smells, feelings. She had to stay awake.
'The guys will be coming for us,' Buffy told herself, still believing that Willow had also been taken. 'Giles will have a plan. They'll be here soon, my love.'
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Cordelia stared at Faith in amazement as the dark Slayer moved towards the Wiccan. 'Damn, she's gonna try to talk to Willow now! Has she got a suicide wish?'
Willow had just punched the stuffings out of the once pretty Moroccan cushions littering the couch. While Xander and Anya had mutually chosen to ignore the destruction of their property, having recognized Willow's almost animal-like frenzy, Faith had simply edged forward waiting for the storm to subside.
Her admiration for Willow was growing in leaps and bounds as she realized that Willow had vented her anger and rage at an inanimate object rather than a person.
As Xander stared at the destruction, recalling the amount of repair work he'd had to do at the Summers' house and over at Giles' in the last year, he pondered 'Maybe we should consider having a secret base — something that could take being continually trashed.'
Cordelia found herself moving forward protectively, not sure if there would actually be anything she could do if these two went all ballistic on each other or her. But she was damned certain she'd try to stop it. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something Angel said had upset Willow. 'That big lug. Wait till I get hold of him.'
Faith stood her ground, waiting for Willow to acknowledge her presence with a glance. She recognized the look of despair, frustration, anger and resignation in the Wiccan's eyes. 'Damn it! She's giving up.' Instinctively she edged forward. She would do whatever she had to in order to help Willow get through this — 'hold it together Red, you're not falling apart on my watch.'
Willow caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and shot a look of challenge at the dark Slayer, but to her surprise all she got back was a look of concern and understanding.
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Slim poured out the stale coffee, needing its boost more than he needed its taste. He'd finally finished his shift. The half hour rest break had been a long time coming. Dawn was taking its time arriving and he knew he was getting ratty. He'd almost bitten Dorgan's head off when he'd asked for the last check in. What the hell was the guy expecting? If anything had happened did he seriously think the guys would be keeping it to themselves? Dumb schmuck!
He pulled out his smokes and, sitting down, he'd taken great pleasure in lighting his first of the day. Stretching he reached for the coffee and, downing half the cup, he wondered what the hell they were doing here. He hated these "do as your told and don't ask questions" gigs. He'd rather be on a search-and-destroy. This "we know what we're doing — just follow the orders" stuff drove him crazy.
Scratching the same spot on his neck that had now been bugging him for almost six hours, he threw the last of the coffee down his throat in frustration. The sound of footsteps outside caught his ear and he instinctively reached for his piece.
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"You know what really sucks?" Faith asked quietly as she sat down next to Willow. Not waiting for a reply from her silent companion on the couch, she answered her own question. "Soft scoop ice cream; You know it says scoop from frozen but you still leave it out on the side for like 15 minutes, not because it asks you to, not because it'll make a difference, but 'cause inside you have this internal 'get real' bullshit detector and you know you're just delaying the inevitable. So you leave it to stand, you know — ignore it for a while and the problem will just go away. 'Cause you know, you just know - it's gonna do a Uri Geller on any spoon that goes near it," she stated. "The hard shit's always hard. It always bends you outta shape, no matter how long you leave it."
Willow stared at the carpet in front of her, letting Faith's quiet words wash over her.
Faith continued as if reading Willow's mind, "I know how it feels to have all that slayer strength boiling up inside you - not being able to run out and do what you want; You know, not to be able to like rush out and get her back. To know what you can do but know that you shouldn't — that you can't just use the power exactly when and how you want. I don't think anyone gets how hard it is for us to have to wait before getting into the action. It's so much easier to strike out before thinking things completely through. Believe me I should know — I've done it enough. It's hard to hold back the anger and the rage; so much easier to strike out blindly."
Willow lowered her head and said, "It's like everything goes into a red haze. I can feel the hot blood rising." She explained sadly "And it feels like the only thing that will work is violence. I can't even think of researching or talking or anything other than using my fists and feet."
Faith smiled a little "I know. It's an incredible feeling, isn't it?"
Willow shook her head and declared, "It's terrifying. How do you control it? How do you handle the rage?"
Faith sadly admitted, "Honey, most of the time I didn't. I'm doing better at that now. And I was 'Chosen' and trained. So you're doing pretty well all things considered. But B ... she's always been able to handle it."
Willow responded so softly that Faith had to use her slayer hearing "I got so mad. Look what I did to their pillows."
Faith grinned, "Better the pillows than one of us. Don't worry about it — they'll understand."
Willow responded angrily "Understand what? That I lost it."
Not really wanting to let Willow fixate on her loss of control, Faith decided to change the subject. "Look, we all know that you were on the phone with Angel. What did he say to upset you so much?"
Willow looked despondent as she replied, "He said that it had been his choice to bring Buffy and me together ... that I was meant for her"
Faith declared, "Dead boy sure likes taking the credit doesn't he? I think that Cordy and I had more than a little to do with that. But he's right about you being meant for her. And she's meant for you. I think we've all known it for some time. Maybe we didn't all realize or accept it but we all knew. And Angel ... hell... I think he always knew it too ... deep down."
Willow whimpered plaintively, "But she loved him so much. She probably still does."
Faith looked sadly at Willow and felt her pain. She asked, "Did you love Oz? Tara?"
Willow replied, "Yes."
Faith then added thoughtfully, "I think that Angel was a part of B's life just like Oz and Tara were a part of yours. Maybe they were meant to prepare you for each other somehow. Fact is they weren't the ones."
Ignoring Faith's observation, Willow whispered "He said it was up to me ... if he came to help us rescue Buffy."
Reading the insecurity in her face, Faith realized what Willow was thinking and so she forcefully responded. "I hope you told him that everything was under control here. Because it is, you know."
Willow shakily asked, "Is it? Am I risking Buffy's life because I don't want him to come and help ... because I want to ... I feel that I have to do this myself?"
Faith responded with confidence "You can do it. And I ... we ... all of us ... we got your back. There is no way you've come this far only to let it all go wrong now. This is your show. And you're going to get her back - safe and sound," she asserted. "Then you two are going to take care of the body switcheroony thing."
Willow plaintively asked "And then what? What do I do when I get her back? When we sort our bodies out? If Wesley's right ... it's not just about us. There are others involved."
Faith, stunned for a moment, answered instinctively "Others don't matter. You two are what matters. And in case you haven't noticed -- all of your friends are here and are in your corner ... just waiting to back you up."
Willow glanced at Faith before quietly muttering "It's not just them ... us. There's ... others ..."
Glancing at the young woman - daughter, student and witch before her; Faith suddenly had an unfamiliar moment of clarity. "Look I get it. Mothers have expectations, mainly to do with the 'white dress and grandkids' scenario. But honey, I've heard about this nifty turkey baster trick" she added, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Willow didn't respond, more than a little unnerved by Faith's apparent mind reading.
"Are you really that upset about letting your mother down? Kinda thought you'd gotten over that with the whole 'out and proud Mary' thing?" Faith asked seriously.
"This isn't about my mother," Willow assured Faith, wondering how the heck their conversation had ended up with them talking about her mother. She never talked about her mother.
"It's always about somebody's mother," Faith commented dryly, staring at the woman before her. She'd always assumed that Willow'd had the whole package -- mommy and daddy. Okay, maybe the absent, mainly 'forgetting you're there' kind. The sorta hippie parents most kids prayed for. Yet Faith had gotten the distinct vibe that Willow would have swapped them both for just one parent who had taken an interest in her failures, problems and concerns, rather than just her successes.
Willow took in the truth of the statement with a wry smile, before making it clear. "Well it's not about mine."
"Not your mother? I'm guessing not your father. So whose?" Faith asked wondering how someone so strong and so in control had emerged from what she knew of Willow's earlier life. So much for adversity creating strength — Willow had lived on the edge of the Brady thing and yet looking at her Faith could see so many things she recognized in herself. She had often considered the possibility that if she'd had a mother who'd stuck around then maybe she'd have ended up a little more normal — whatever the hell that was. Suddenly it became crystal clear as the image of her ideal mother figure took shape. "Ahhhh. Yeah, right. Diggin' it. Mmmm. Joyce. B's mom does kinda make you set your bar real high, doesn't she?"
Willow whimpered again "She is so going to hate me for doing this to Buffy."
"In case you've forgotten, the switch was my idea," Faith reminded her. "All I wanted you to do was a more intense kind of 'walking in each other's shoes' since things here in good ole' Sunnydale are always so intense. I figured that knowing each other like this would be the wake-up call you two finally needed." Continuing quietly she added, "I never meant to hurt either of you. Not again."
Willow smiled at Faith. "I know," she replied sincerely.
Faith felt a weight lifting, one she never thought would. " So what's new? Mrs. S. can hate me again," she declared more forcefully
"That's not it. Mrs. Summers has always been so nice to all of us ... to me. She's going to think that I've made Buffy gay." Willow almost sobbed.
"Red, Mrs. S. thinks of you like another daughter already," Faith went on trying hard not to laugh. "Plus she's cool. And I think what she really cares about - is B being happy. And you make her happy. She knows you'd never hurt B; that you'd do anything for her. It may take a little time, there may be a little freakin' out and getting used to it - but I think she'll be OK. She loves you both."
Willow looked at the dark Slayer hopefully. "Do you really believe that?"
"I don't just believe it. I know it," Faith strongly asserted. "And I know that B is gonna be ready for you once we ... you get her back. She's gonna run into your arms — major gushy and mushy stuff — I may barf," she quipped. "And you know, I'm gonna get a major raggin' — right?"
Willow really smiled for the first time in quite a while and reached out to put a hand on Faith's arm. "Thank you, Faith," she said rather emotionally.
Faith slightly embarrassed replied "Yeah. You know ... whatever."
After a slight pause, Faith recovered herself and declared "So Red, wha'd'ya say we get this plan of ours in gear and go get B? I know I can't wait for another chance at the mojo we did before. Then I can get down to kicking some serious butt-kicking."
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There was little or nothing Giles could do since it wasn't his decision. He had tried to persuade Angel that he should reconsider but the man seemed hell-bent on supporting Willow. Irritated by the admiration he had for Angel's decision, when he considered the strong feelings the vampire had for Buffy, he was also exasperated at having such a powerful potential team member removed from his arsenal. He would have preferred to have everything available on hand and a partner with Angel's skill and experience could have proved invaluable.
His greatest fear was that their plan would flounder and Willow would be left regretting her decision not to take Angel up on his offer of help. Glancing at Willow who was again in deep conversation with Faith, he mentally crossed his fingers that she was capable of doing what she planned to do.
Anya's presentation of lunch had been an eye opener. He'd never really seen her in a domestic role before. Giles was still unsure if the nervous feeling in his belly was the result of Anya's exceedingly spicy meatball concoction or because if this all went wrong ... Well, he didn't want to think about that possibility.
Today had been somewhat disjointed and as evening approached he found himself considering the reactions and actions of their small band. Willow had spent quite a bit of time with Faith and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Xander and Anya had just seemed to get on with whatever needed doing; he had found the familiar sound of their infantile and distracting banter unusually comforting. There was still so little he understood about their relationship and even less he really wanted to. But he drew surprising comfort from the unchangeable quality of the mismatched pair. Xander had never really stopped watching over Willow, despite Cordelia's contention that it was Faith she needed to talk to and Anya's apparent annoyance at his concern. Giles had caught his frequent darting looks at the talking women.
At first Cordelia had seemed to want to reign over the group, quietly nudging everyone away from Faith and Willow. He had feared Queen C had returned. However she had then become encouraging and constructive as she talked with a depth of knowledge and experience about fight preparations which Giles found quite astoundingly out of character. But he'd watched her take somewhat insulting simplistic instruction from Anya on the laying out of the lunch table, without a sharp word or acid retort. He'd severely misjudged her and he knew it.
The time for action was almost upon them. Turning to the young man beside him he sighed with the resignation and determination of a man who had, despite his inner instincts and inclinations, fought in one too many wars.
"Xander, let's start getting the weapons into your car."
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Faith was sitting on the counter, staring out at what could be the last few minutes of daylight they would ever see. It was a beautiful sunset. Seeing Willow moving towards her, she smiled in acknowledgement.
Willow returned her smile and said quietly so that no one else could hear "Before we go, can I ask you something?"
Lowering herself from the counter, Faith replied "Sure. Anything."
Willow continued softly and sincerely "When we met ... from the beginning ... you ... never liked me. You ... hated me. Why?"
Faith closed her eyes. She'd been expecting this particular conversation ever since she'd arrived back in Sunnydale but she'd hoped it wouldn't happen until they'd gotten Buffy back, so that she would only have to respond to the question once.
Willow saw looks of embarrassment, resignation and shame cross the other young woman's face.
Opening her eyes, Faith looked at Willow sadly and responded just as quietly "I never hated you. I ... I was jealous ... okay?"
Willow's jaw dropped. "You were ... what? You ... You're a Vampire Slayer ... with your slayer powers ... and the stories ... and the sexy. You were jealous of me?"
"Sexy? Didn't think you'd noticed," Faith winked, before becoming serious again. "And yes. I've always been jealous of you. Guess my bad was partially because of that."
Almost speechless, Willow finally managed "I ... I ... I don't understand."
Faith closed her eyes again for a moment to try to gather herself. 'C'mon girl — time to suck it up.' And, then taking a deep breath, she continued, "You're brilliant, brave and beautiful — and you've always had Buffy's heart. It didn't take me that long to figure out that what you two had was more than best friendship."
Willow gawked, still very much disturbed by the fact that it seemed everyone knew how she felt about Buffy ... well almost.
Faith smiled wryly "And so damn humble that you still don't see it. OK. I've got slayer strength, speed, hearing and a 'bite me' body — but it's all just physical. And until recently I wasn't using any of it all that well. But you ... you can make computers do anything. You research as good as or better than Giles. You have book and school smarts. The street smarts - kinda naïve but they're there. You help B in the field not just behind the scenes. And you're ... nice."
Willow could feel a slight blush building. Glancing at the ground she was grateful the guys were still loading up the car and that no one else could hear what Faith was saying. Raising her head she instinctively opened her mouth to dispute Faith's assertions.
But before Willow could say anything, Faith plowed on "And then - then there's the brave part. How many times have you gone up against vamps and demons at her side?" Pausing slightly and sighing Faith went on "Even that time in the Mayor's office — You knew I was Slayer strong - what I was capable of. I had a knife and you knew I wanted to hurt you. But you stood up to me ... hell, you told me off. Now I know that what you said was true. But back then it was too late ... I was in so deep with the Mayor. I had gone over the edge with you guys too many times."
Willow took in the sorrow in her face and nodding slightly she accepted Faith's assessment of their past.
Looking directly at Willow, she admitted, "I thought I'd finally found somewhere I belonged, someone I could share this Slayer thing with. You could even say ... I had a crush on B. I think I had it before I got here. I knew her rep — great slayer, beat death, killed the Master. Hell, she even stood up to the Council. This was someone I could learn to share things with. I thought I'd finally found a family."
Willow wondered how she had not seen the insecurity before.
"But it was always you guys first — her Scoobies — her Willow. I couldn't compete. After that first week patrolling with her - I knew I was the outsider. The way she would light up when she talked about you guys — you were family." Faith sighed. "Do you know what it's like to watch families from the outside? Terrified because you might really start to care ... because you know that only someone you want to care for you can really hurt you," she stated her voice shaking slightly. "All they have to do is make it very clear that they'll only let you get so close and that anything more is out of your reach. She was everything to me," Faith continued in an unusually quiet voice. "And then I hated her for not knowing that ... I'd wanted her ... she was meant to get it... to understand ... to know ... what I wanted ... what I needed ... how I felt ... I wanted a ..."
Willow's mind swam in fear. 'She can't mean... she's in love with Buffy too....'
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Angel made his way towards the address Wesley had given him. This was supposed to be the location of a Shaman that Wolfram and Hart's records had listed in connection with Buffy and Willow. Sunset had seemed to take it's own sweet time arriving and his thoughts had flown back to Buffy and where he'd really rather be as he had awaited the arrival of nightfall.
The idea of deliberately seeking out someone involved the magics, especially someone apparently not too shy about using the dark stuff, really gave Wesley a bad feeling. A magical curse was what had brought Angel to this point in his life, with all its heartache, pain and unresolved guilt. Now that he thought about it, maybe Faith and Cordelia's solution of cursing Buffy and Willow to swap bodies hadn't been such a great idea after all.
Turning the corner, Angel caught sight of a small figure running. "There," he called out to Wesley, indicating the shape as it ducked into an alleyway. Hitting the breaks, he shifted gears and turned into the next access running parallel to the alley.
Wesley reached into his carry-all and retrieved his crossbow, anticipating that a show of force would be required. He ignored the absolute knowledge that any show of force would probably come from Angel. He needed to feel of use and he certainly wasn't about to question holding a weapon gave him that feeling.
Angel accelerated through the access, sending rubbish and small animals scurrying, before he came to a sudden stop and hanging a left, he blocked the exit to the alleyway just as a the figure had almost emerged from the shadows and into the brief doorway and the street light at the end of the alley.
The small figure froze and Angel heard him mutter "Not enough warning. Not nearly enough."
*******************************BtVS*****************************
"I wanted a ... sister. But she already had one," Faith declared glancing at Willow, but missing the relief that washed over the witch. "She'd puff up with pride when she talked about — her Willow. Willow — her best friend, sister, confidante ... true love — even if she couldn't see it yet. There just didn't seem to be room for me; No matter how hard I tried, how hard I pushed. It took a while for that to get though to me."
The disappointment in her voice made Willow wonder if she'd ever really known this woman.
"I grew to resent you ... the Scoobies, Giles, Joyce. You all seemed to belong. It was like you'd let me visit, but I just couldn't stay. It was just like every other foster family I'd ever known. So I did I did what I've always done. I struck out ... I hit first ... I hurt you before I could be hurt," she admitted glancing at the floor rather than meeting the look of pity she knew she'd see in Willow's eyes.
Willow could feel her heart reaching out to the woman before her, who suddenly seemed so childlike and vulnerable.
Faith summoned her courage and looked back at the Witch. "I know it's only words and they don't mean much." She paused. "I hope ... If you ..." She shook her head. 'Jeez, this stuff's harder than it looks' she admitted to herself and tried again. "Willow ... I really and truly do regret the pain that I've caused you ... and Buffy".
Willow's jaw dropped in surprise as she realized that Faith had just used their given names, giving her words a depth of meaning she couldn't doubt.
"I know that you'll probably never be able to forgive, let alone trust me, so I won't even ask," Faith stated, before looking directly into the other girl's eyes and promising, "But know this --- if you ever need anything from me, y'know ... need me to do anything or if I find out that you need my kinda help — I'll be there for you. I won't let you down. I owe you — no strings."
Willow had never heard Faith talk for so long and so seriously about anything. She didn't have a clue what to say.
Faith hoped she hadn't made a big mistake by being so honest just before they went out to get her sister Slayer. Willow's well-known "resolve" face took over Buffy's features and the hazel, rather than green, eyes bore into her own as though they were peering into her very soul. Although it was uncomfortably difficult, the dark Slayer never looked away from Willow's intense gaze, hoping that she could convey her sincerity.
Suddenly the Witch smiled mischievously, realizing that they both needed some light relief, and she sexily asked, "Do you really think I'm ... beautiful?"
Faith was so surprised by the question, which seemed to come out of left field, and the change in Willow's demeanor, especially after everything the Slayer had just revealed, that all she could do was stammer "I ... Huh ... I ... ahh ... Wh ... What?"
Amused by Faith's sudden inability to string a sentence together, Willow continued, "You said that I was brilliant, brave and beautiful. You kinda talked about the brilliant and the brave. What about the beautiful part?"
Faith blinked, but catching the twinkle in Willow's eye, she finally smiled. "Goes without saying ... you got that 'I may look shy and nice but I love to be naughty' thing going; kinda like a hidden surprise in a Cracker Jacks box — a surprising little sin thing"
"Sin?" Willow exclaimed with concern.
"Honey, you know how I love a little sin — I'd have been quite happy to let you lead me astray," Faith advised her, winking suggestively. "But you always had B in your sights. You two belong together. Beautiful witch who now has inside slayer know-how and a beautiful slayer about to find out she's got untapped mojo. Damn, you two are gonna give the bad guys apoplexy," she smirked. "Okay so I'm a hopeless romantic. Shocker, ain't it? I've seen some real nasty stuff in my life, hell I've done some of it, but you guys always reminded me of what really mattered. Getting you two together - seeing something so right actually work out — despite all the crap that surrounds us - I kinda need that too."
"Awww, Faith." Willow exclaimed and threw her arms around a stunned Slayer who stiffened in surprise as the Witch pulled her into a tight hug. "Welcome to the family."
Faith's heart burst with an unfamiliar happiness and she wrapped Willow's slender frame in her own arms, returning the hug for all she was worth.
"Well would you look at that?" Xander exclaimed, as he walked back into the apartment to see the two women hugging.
"That is certainly a sight that I never thought I'd see," Giles commented.
Anya glanced over her shoulder at Cordelia's wide eyes and threw Xander an 'I told you so' look.
"If Buffy doesn't get her arms off ..." Cordelia scowled and growled
A grinning Xander interrupted, "Cordy, that's Willow."
"I know that!" Cordelia yelled at him. "Has that little b ... witch forgotten that her beloved Buffy is still in the hands of those mercenaries? I just think that's ...quite enough of that."
Xander laughed heartily and stage whispered to Anya. "Well honey, I guess you were right again. We'd better keep an eye on our two LA friends."
Anya, still smiling, said "You should all learn to listen to me more often."
Giles simply shook his head, as confused by their exchange as he was by the sight before him.
"Excuse me! Buffy is still out there needing us to rescue her," Cordelia spat as she marched up to the still embracing women.
But neither one seemed to hear her.
"Willow, are you ok?" Xander asked as he too stepped towards them.
Willow looked up smiling at Faith, as she moved out of their embrace before responding "Yeah, Xander. I'm fine. Now. Thanks to Faith." Then grinning at Giles, she added, "I think we're ready to get Buffy. I'm pretty sure our spell and any other magic we try will be much stronger and more powerful now."
As Cordelia moved closer to Faith, Giles inquired "Indeed?"
Willow smiled at Faith as she replied "There's trust between us now, not just the magic."
"Are you alright?" Cordelia asked Faith.
Faith offered her loyal friend a quiet and sincere smile. "Five by five ... Totally," she stated before reaching out to give Cordelia a big hug. 'This mushy stuff's not so bad,' she decided, as she drew a stunned and confused Seer into her heart-felt embrace, filling it with all the thanks she felt because this wonderful woman was her friend.
********************************BtVS********************************
Angel stood his ground since there was no point moving forward until the guy decided if he was going to fight or flee. Years of experience had taught him that these two animal instincts were universal. But the man wasn't moving. He was just standing there waiting. 'What the hell's he waiting for — an invitation? Do something! Run already.'
Maclay sighed 'This is taking longer than I expected. Why doesn't he just attack?'
Wesley stood feeling somewhat like he was missing something as he took in the two men before him; it was like some weird cowboy standoff. He could almost here the spaghetti western music. Each was staring at the other, seemingly waiting for the other to move.
"You don't seem too surprised to see me. Why is that?" Angel finally asked.
"I guess you prefer to be a surprise," Maclay responded.
"We all like a little mystery in our lives," Angel acknowledged.
Maclay just smiled. 'Come closer,' he thought as he reached into his pants pocket as casually as he could.
Angel smiled. "I should have realized they'd warn you. It seems our little visit to your employers didn't exactly go undetected," he added moving forward. "But what could you know that would warrant giving you the heads up, I wonder?"
"Ahh, so that's what you're after," he responded glancing at the rising moon. "You're a little late for a fact-finding mission, aren't you?"
"You wouldn't be trying to make a run for it if I was out of time," Angel stated, getting closer to the man. 'Why doesn't he run? He must know what I am.'
"Oh, I'm not running. I'm exactly where I need to be," Maclay stated stepping forward with bravado.
His response caused Angel to stop and glance around the alley. Seeing nothing untoward, he continued towards the man. "Can't say I'm impressed by your choice of venue - but to each to his own. I'd have gone for something more GH myself."
'That's it — closer,' Maclay silently urged, wrapping his fist around the Amulet.
"Angel," Wesley warned. "Be careful." There was something about this he didn't like. The fellow was too relaxed. It was almost as if he wanted Angel to ... Oh my god! "Angel!" he yelled as a bright blue aura surrounded them both.
Maclay had reached out and touched Angel before muttering something under his breath. The flash of blue light had been almost blinding. It had seemed to freeze Angel in mid-step and then the bubble of light had withdrawn to surround them.
As Wesley moved forward, he took in the strange sight before him. It was as if a large ten-foot blue light bulb had suddenly taken up residence in the middle of the alley. Inside the bulb he could just about make out the figures of Angel and the other man. But as he approached, it became harder to move, harder to lift his legs, impossible to move forward. It felt like he was trying to walk through tar.
The power coursing through his veins, pouring into him was overwhelming. Maclay could almost feel each of his organs as they soaked in the essence of the Amulet. He had used Angel to unlock it. He had used himself as the conduit and he had used what he had needed from the book to block the transfer to the vampire. He was now a living breathing battery, storing and holding the power of the amulet.
The swelling living pure magic intended to stop an apocalypse was now his.
*******************************BtVS*******************************
Much Thanks to Lilly the Treasure