Noble sacrifice

by wicked

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Noble Sacrifice
Season Rework...What if it wasn't Willow that brought Buffy back?
Buffy/Willow




Her eyes still plague my sleep every night, haunting and torturing me. Why did she give up like that? Didn't she realize I loved her? Stupid Willow, really stupid. How would she know that considering you have been so wrapped up in Tara? The shaking isn't getting any better and I feel well I feel as if I died.

Moving Tara's arm away from my waist I step over Dawn and walk into the living room. Grabbing Buffys jacket and picture, I lie on the couch and place the picture in front of me and the jacket on top. If I can do this she isn't really gone right? It isn't enough tonight so I grab the remote and play the tape that we made of us all at the beach. Look at her so carefree and this is the part....I remember...yeah the she goes...sticking her tongue out at me and if I fast forward a little past Xander and this is the spot where it changed and I knew. God, how stupid could I have been to not do anything about it? She tackles me into the sand and her body was so warm and I was safe, Buffy made me safe. The look in her eyes said it all and I didn't see it.

Tears are falling and I try to not make the choked sob that always wakes Tara. She knows I am not in love anymore, you don't know what you got until it's gone. And she really is gone now...The Slayer is no more, that isn't true there is another Slayer out there but my Slayer is no more.

I pull the jacket tighter as the tears fall and the sobs come. Tara comes out of the bedroom and sits behind me, it has to be hard to love someone and know they don't feel the same. Buffy knew how that felt, god I must be a horrible person. The warmth of Taras body feels good against my back but I am still so cold...my love is cold to. My mind flashes to her body lying in the rubble. Buffys eyes were wide open and staring straight into mine, it was the last time I would be able to see her eyes. Goddess, how did this go so wrong? Tara has turned off the television and is just rocking to me and singing, I feel her tears land in my hair and I know that she cries for a different reason. I cry for what is lost, she cries for what she never had.

She was a replacement for what I thought could never be, I was a Scooby there was no way I could be her soul mate. Buffy thought I didn't want that, she couldn't be more wrong.

I start to fall asleep with images of Buffy flashing through my mind. Tara carries me to bed; I don't know where she finds the strength. Dawn will be up soon and I will be strong Willow who is fine but when the lights go out I am a broken girl who has lost the owner of her heart.

Tara wakes me the next morning and I see the determination in her eyes. "It's time, Willow. You can't keep going on like this. Dawn has already left so we will do this now and if it goes wrong she will never know but if it right then she will come back to you and I am leaving."


That breaks my heart as well, that she is willing to walk away and hurt herself for my happiness. "Please don't Tara."

"If it doesn't work I will stay with you, Willow because you are my world but if she comes back then I am freeing you to be with the one you love. We both know life is to short not to."

I know the care keepers routine at the cemetery because I have been here everyday to make sure everything is ok for her. She took care of us all so it is my responsibility to take care of Buffy now. We sit in the grass and I look across the small distance between Tara and me. How can she be so giving when I am so shallow?

"It will be ok, Wills." Her voice cracks "Just know I love you." She reaches a trembling hand out to me which I take in my own, why can't I be in love with her? Lighting the candle she starts a chant and I know immediately that it is wrong...that is the spell to..oh god...no! She is exchanging her soul for Buffys...this isn't right I am just being selfish but as a bloodied hand crashes through the dirt below us Tara falls over and now lies lifeless.

I pull Buffy out quickly and embrace her trembling body. It feels so good to hear her heartbeat under my ear. "OH GOD, BUFFY!" I collapse to my knees, everything to much.

"Wills, I know...I have been watching you and I know but what happened?" I pull away briefly and point towards Tara whose eyes are now staring at us and I realize that this was her final gift. What kind of love would allow you to sacrifice yourself? Then I realize she gave me the same gift as Buffy except hers saved the world, Tara's just saved me. I need to make sure her sacrifice wasn't in vain.

"I love you, Buffy." The sobs are choking me but I have to get this out "I have been in love with you forever and I need you and I am so sorry for letting you die and please donteverleavemeagain." She kisses my forehead and I feel safe again, for the first time since she died I feel safe.

"She did that for me?" Buffy wipes the tears away from her dirt covered face. I nod and walk over towards Tara's now lifeless body. I can't believe she knew that she was going to do that; we could have found another way. I know that enough time has passed and the keeper will be here soon. We can put her in Buffys place that way it won't be as noticeable. Buffy lifted her to place my lover in the broken casket and I kiss her forehead. Brushing back a strand of hair I realize this is the last time I will see her and it breaks my heart but I have Buffy so I need to take advantage of the gift.

I look at the tombstone "She saved the world a lot" It seemed fitting considering what Tara had just done. Buffy wraps her arm around me and we head home...together.