Holiday Blues
by bad shot
Chapter 1
[reviews]
A/N: This is just an idea I have been throwing around in my head here are the main points
1) Buffy never got together with Riley.
2) Willow still hasn't told the scoobies about her and Tara.
3) Set in season 5.
4) Buffy and Willow still are sharing a dorm.
5) There is no number five I just like over doing everything.
Chapter 1
It was Christmas, or the first day of Hanukkah whatever you want to use. Buffy was in the dorm she shared with Willow vigorously pacing between the two beds waiting for a certain redhead to come home. She fiddled nervously with the box in her pocket trying to shake the feeling of fear that came over her anytime that she thought of telling Willow she loved her, and not in the friend way. The over the moon I will die for you kinda love. She pulled the box out and flipped it open revealing a silver necklace with a diamond studded silver cross attached to a star of David. On the back of that image she read the inscription she had got for it again. 'B+W=Love.'
She knew it was corny and hated thinking that Willow would freak out when she told her. She flipped the lid closed, shoved it in her pocket and continued to pace impatiently.
The door slowly opened revealing a flushed redhead waving to someone, "Hey," she said pulling off her coat, hanging it and closing the door.
"Who was that?" Buffy asked pointing to the door curiosity getting the best of her.
"Oh that was Tara," Willow said getting noticeably more tense.
Buffy noticed this and finally took her hand out of her pocket to rest it on Willow's shoulder. At the one gesture a jolt of arousal spread through her body. She she shouldn't feel these things until she was sure Willow liked her but she couldn't help it, "Anything wrong Will?"
"No well not really, but there might be. I don't know it kinda depends on you guys but... I should shut up now," Willow suggested.
Watching the redhead babble brought a smile to Buffy's heart thinking about how much she wanted to kiss those lips to stop it, "Willow as much as I like your babble could you please come out and say it because a I kinda want to tell you something to," she blushed as soon as she finished the end of her sentence and looked out the window until she was sure it was gone.
"Oh Buffy I didn't know you wanted to say something you can talk first," Willow said trying to not look self-centered.
"Willow it's ok you can talk first I really don't know if mine is to important yet," Buffy says trying to do the same thing that Willow was doing and not act self-centered.
"Well Buffy you should know that is hard to say," Willow started picking at a nonexistent piece of fluff on her jeans.
"Willow whatever you have to say you should know I could never freak so just lay it on me," Buffy says convincing Willow to continue.
"Well there is this friend that you know, and my I like my friend a lot. Like more than like kinda love," at that Buffy thought maybe Willow was talking about her but she wouldn't. Would she? "and my friend feels the same way. We kinda are together and have been for a while," Buffy looked away embarrassed to of herself thinking Willow would like her, let alone a girl.
"Is it Xander?" Buffy asked still avoiding eye contact with the girl she loved who just revealed she loved someone that wasn't herself.
"No. God no. Not that he isn't cute. Not that I think he is cute," Willow cut herself off by putting a hand over her own mouth.
Buffy let off a soft chuckle as the redhead stopped herself from babbling and decided to ask the unasked question, "If not Xander than who, and please don't say Giles."
Willow smiled at the obvious fear of her and Giles getting together but quickly fell remembering what she had to tell the blond, "Definitely not Giles. I-it's well... It's T-Tara."
Buffy's heart broke the moment she heard the redhead say that she loved another girl. The only thought that ran through the blonds head was, 'If she is gay why doesn't she love me? Why? Why?'
"Buffy are you okay? You look kinda freaked," hearing herself say this Willow went into panic mode, "Please don't tell me you're freaked Buffy. Please."
Buffy didn't know what to say. In fact she was the feeling anything but freaked. Well okay maybe a little. All she wanted to do was run out of the room and cry. The tears were already almost coming, but still she decided to ask one more question fearing the answer, "Do you love her?"
"Yes," was all Willow said feeling nervous about what the blond thought of her.
Hearing the answer the Buffy closed her eyes and felt as if Willow was stomping the last of her heart into pieces. She had been having a hard time opening up to anyone after the Parker incident, and now that she finally was about to open up she was rejected once again, "If your happy that's all I can ask for," Buffy stood up suddenly when the tears were almost to much to contain and opened the door determined not to break down in front of her best friend she had wished would be so much more.
A/N: Questions? Comments? Feedback always welcome. Happy Holidays!