Punishing
by Red
book 5
[reviews]
Punishing
book 5
Red
Joss' folk.
BW NC17
Summary: Buffy and Willow babble their true feeling to each other. Ok, Buffy talks, Will babbles.
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"Buffy?"
Buffy smiled when she heard her name. It was barely above a whisper, but it was there. Running her fingers gently through soft, red hair, she answered.
"Right here, Will."
Willow's eyes opened and she smiled. "You really here? Or am I dreaming again?"
"I'm here, really... here and very worried about my Willow."
Willow's smile grew. "Your Willow...mmmmm, always wanted to be your Willow."
Buffy kissed her forehead softly. "You always have been my Willow...and you always will be."
"I'm so sorry." Teras started forming in the witch's eyes.
"No, no Will, no sorry, this isn't your fault, NOT your fault."
"I'm bad...bad girls get punished."
It was all Buffy could do to not get up, go down the hall and wrap the chains around Kennedy's throat.
"You are not bad, Willow, understand? Not bad...I don't know exactly what's been going on here, but I do know that Kennedy has been hurting you...and I do know that it's never going to happen again...I promise you that."
Willow's tears fell freely. "You don't understand..." She tried to focus on Buffy, but the pain medicine had her more than a little fuzzy and she wasn't sure which of the three Buffy's she saw was the real one. "I hurt me."
Buffy didn't flinch. "Maybe you did, but she hurt you worse...Faith told me exactly what she saw and I know you, Will...you didn't want that."
Willow shook her head a little. "I didn't...I didn't, Buffy, I swear I didn't."
"Sh, calm down, sweetie, I know you didn't...I know you didn't...and I swear, it won't ever happen again."
She kissed Willow's forehead again, her own tears streaming down onto her witch's face and mixing.
"I love you, Buffy...I mean, love love, not best freidny love but in love with love I'm in love with you Buffy since forever and I have to tell you even tho' now you're probably not gonna wanna be even best friends anymore 'cause I know I disgust you." Willow cried harder.
Oh gawd...she loves me...SHE LOVES ME!
"Willow, sh, Willow listen to me." She gently wiped the tears from the redhead's eyes, carefully. "Number one, I could never, ever be digusted by you. I'm sure the bitch put that idea in your head so I'm taking it out, right now...never EVER could I be disgusted by you...wanna know why?"
"Maybe." Willow sniffled. "K, why?"
Buffy smiled big. "Because you're my Willow and I love you, in the, I'm in love with you way."
Willow's eyes grew wide. "K, I'm kinda stoned right now, right? Hearin' things?"
Buffy laughed. "Yeah, you are kinda stoned, but you're not hearing things...I am in love with you, Willow Rosenberg...and I'm so sorry it took me so long to see it. As Dawn put it, I'm one of the stupidist people she knows."
Willow giggled. "Stupid Buffy's in love with me."
Buffy cocked a brow. "Stoney Willow's in love with me."
"Darn tootin'!"
Buffy leaned in and carefully brushed her lips over Willow's bruised ones, her whole body tingling when Willow kissed her back.
"I'm so in love with you, slayer...from the first time you said my name."
Buffy stroked Willow's hair, her eyes never leaving the stoned yet once again, sparkling greens looking up at her.
"I'm so in love with you, witch...I always have been...and the thought of not being with you, makes me unable to breathe."
"Me, too."
Buffy kissed her softly again. "Ok, you need to rest, sweetie...I'm right here, not going anywhere...except maybe to the bathroom...that's one of those things I kinda can't control."
Willow smiled. "Potty run is forgiveable...Buffy?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"You didn't kill her did you?"
"No, I didn't kill her." Yet.
"Faith didn't kill her, did she?"
"No, baby, Faith didn't kill her either. Now rest."
"I need to tell you, tell you everything...what I've done...I'm so sorry, Buffy."
Willow began to cry and this time, nothing Buffy said could make her stop. She cried hard and as she did, she confessed everything, from the first time she harmed herself, to the last...to how horrible she was for loving the blonde slayer while she was with Tara...how she did love and care for Tara, but how her heart wanted no one but Buffy. She told the slayer how she had wanted to die after Tara did, how she had wanted Buffy herself to kill her...she told of her need to punish herself and how that Kennedy understood...had helped in the beginning.
And as she made her confession, Buffy held her close, gently, stroking her hair, crying tears of her own, the pain she felt for this woman she loved, quickly turning into rage for the one who had been taking advantage of it. Kennedy fed from Willow's guilt, her pain and twisteding it, molding it to fit her sick agenda and Buffy swore right there, as Willow's tears slowly but surely softened, the witch drifting off into a much needed sleep, that Kennedy would pay for each and every mark she had ever put on Willow.