Edge of a Knife
by bad shot
[reviews]
We all know fences weren't fully mended after the disaster that was Empty Places. Now fast forward to Chosen. What if Dawn had died instead of Anya? Think of what losing her baby sister. The person Buffy dies for would do to an emotionally exhausted Slayer.
It would be the straw that broke the camel's over loaded back.
Now in Buffy's mind she's lost everything that truly mattered to her.
Her Sister.
Her Calling.
Her Friends.
Her Willow.
Can our Wicca save The Slayer from her worst enemy...herself?
I only have a few requirements.
1. Buffy pulling one of her famous disappearing acts.
2. Buffy becoming involved in very self destructive behavior. Alchohol, Drugs, Hurting herself That sort of thing.
3. Buffy trying to patrol while drunk or stoned and getting badly hurt.
4. Willow letting The Scoobs and mini Slayers have it for the way they've All been pushing and pulling Buffy.
5. Willow being obsessed with finding Buffy. She knows first hand how easy it is to destroy yourself in grief.
6. Buffy going thru serious withdrawl. And Willow being there to help her thru all the pain.
7. And last but most important a happy Wiffy ending.
There aren't enough Wiffy fics where Willow gets to be Buffy's Knight in Shining Armor. Where she gets to provide comfort to a Vulnerable Buffy.
Where Buffy lets someone SEE her pain. Instead of repressing it.
WARNING: VERY BAD THINGS. DRUGS, RAPE, SELF INFLICTED PAIN, THAT KIND OF STUFF.
A/N: So you should know where I am from it is about midnight when I am writing this = )
Chapter 1
"-How's it feel?" Faith asked Buffy not realizing her fellow slayer was more interested in something else.
"Dawn? Dawnie? Dawn!" Buffy said running around, and poking her head inside the bus.
"Buffy," Xander calls out, "I have to tell you something," Buffy came over staring daggers at him, "Well Dawn... When we were leaving she pushed Giles out of the way of a knife... She's dead."
Buffy's eyes grew wide, and she started to turn around slowly, "Buffy?" Willow called out. She had just seen Buffy reaction to whatever Xander had said, and decided to come out.
Buffy turns to Willow with a look of such devastation on her face that Willow actually winced.
"Buffy I think you need to sit down," Willow states. She pulls on Buffy's arm until she moves, and pulls her into the bus. She sets her into the back, and lets her rest as she moves back up to help Wood drive to L.A.
***
A/N: Just thought you should know that I am going to start switching POVs from now on that was for the most part a prologue.
I sit in the back of the bus not feeling anything even as my body shakes, and falls as we go over bumps in the road.
No Dawn, my friends deserted me until I found the scythe, and became a convenience to have around. How do I know they won't again? Now that we have hundreds of baby slayers popping up so I don't have to do this anymore.
The only problem being I don't know how to do anything else.
Willow. She has Kennedy now. Her own little slayer so they will probably go off to their own little happy heaven.
But me. What do I got? If I got through this I though a life with Dawn. She knows how to live, and could maybe show me. Now though I have nothing.
***
I look into the back of the bus where Buffy has been sitting quietly the entire ride. I look back out the front windshield as we near the L.A hospital.
I see Angel, Lorne, and a couple others out front.
The bus pulls to a stop with a clunk. I hurry up, and help get the worst slayers out first.
It takes a good ten minutes, but we manage to get the slayers out, and onto a gurney, or into the hospital at least.
I look around for a second looking for any sign of Buffy. I see Angel doing the same thing. He walks over to me with a sad expression on his face, "Did she?"
I shake my head my mind starting to panic, "No," I say again just to assure myself, "She is here I know it."
***
I jump out the cab, and throw the driver some money. I pull myself straight up, and walk into the airport.
I feel out of place. Everyone else looks so happy. Whenever someone waves at me, or says 'hi' I just put on a fake smile.
I buy my ticket with my credit card, and walk Straight back out to the bus station. I throw the card out knowing that if Willow wants to find me she will just track my number.
I jump onto the bus heading to New York. It did of course stop in several other states though too. I look back, and see a small bathroom on the bus.
I sit down in one of the worn seats, and try to close my eyes. But when I do visions of the dead girls that died under me, Dawn's face smiling, and then her getting stabbed cloud my vision.
It becomes to much after an hour in the bus. I pull my backpack up, and haul it with me to the bathroom, ignoring the stares of the five other people on the bus.
I close, and look the door not caring that it smells terrible back here. I dig through my backpack trying to find it.
I pull the pocket knife I had brought out. I pull the blade out mesmerized by the way light bounces off the three inch long blade.
I take it, and slowly pull it across my leg which is exposed after I pulled up the sweats I had on pushing hard enough to make a cut.
I almost melt into the pain. I know I deserve this. I deserve it to hurt because I let Dawn down, Willow, Giles, Xander all of them I let down.
I push it harder until it is buried a quarter of an inch onto my skin, and pull it down letting the blood flow down into the small sink.
***
"Angel check anything you have for a sign of Buffy. We need to find her," Angel nodded, and ran off leaving me with Kennedy, Rona, and a couple other slayers, along with the entire scooby gang.
"Willow don't you think you are going a little overboard with this?" Kennedy asks getting right up in my face.
I take a deep breath, "Kennedy. Will you shut the hell up!" this seems to shut her up, "So..." I say daring for one of them to make a move.
"Willow there is no need for you to get angry," Giles says in his normal British way.
"Oh so you're up first. Well Giles since you were technically the adult shouldn't you have helped Buffy a little?" I ask sarcastically yet at the same time seriously.
"Willow I...
"NO! I don't want to hear it. You guys pushed her to far. I will take into account that Dawn died, but that just sent her over it was not the whole thing," Xander tries to interrupt, but I silence him with a look, "We made her try to be to many people. For the slayers, a leader. Dawn, a mother, and a sister. For the scoobies she was are friend. She had to many roles to play. Now if any one else wants to get on me about worrying about the girl who just saved our asses raise your hand," I look around at everyone, "Good," I say before I storm off to see what Angel found so far.
A/N: So what you think? Any questions? If you have any, or any things you would like to see tell me so I can put it in if I can. Wow I am starting to be kinda like Red. My last couple fice have been dark? Well whatever.